Not adding up

With any balancing act, It’s good to know what each is cut out for.(Paper cut by Hans Christian Andersen. USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Math has never been my deal, but even so, recently, stuff isn’t adding up even to me.

Price pointing.

Thrilled to arrive at Home Depot as a whole shipment of undamaged poinsettias was being unloaded. Nice to get one before they get shop worn and damaged by too much customer scrutiny. Sign said “ $2.98” or “3 for $10.00”. Hmmm. Is it just me or….? Bought one. Even with the intriguing offer.

Propulsion nonplussed. 

Excited, breathless reporter thrilled to promote a “new, electric turbo jet”. So which is it? If it’s a “jet”, it’s not electric powered. Jet propulsion is different. (We won’t even try to get into the “turbo” thing. Everything is “turbo” now…personal smoothie drink mixers, vitamins, laundry soap…)

“Oh, look. Humans aren’t totally quackers. No longer will birds risk getting sucked into jet engines. Even better if we can just pull the plug so the aircraft can’t take off!” (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Revolting bolting. (Hey, The trendy, being risk takers, won’t be fazed by this.)

In the “Let’s just get creative language and gloss it over” category.: the winner is BMW who is recalling 4 models. Apparently the vehicle transmission units were “misproduced”.  The “issue” can cause an internal leak, a “roll-away” causing a wreck or injury. Can we speak plainly here? “Misproduced” or “misassembled”?  Someone didn’t tighten one or more bolts – or Wait for it. Wait for it – didn’t bother to put in any of the required bolts in a critical place. (Some people worry if there’s one screw or bolt left over when assembling Ikea furniture, but not in car production it appears…) 

Details might derail.

Did the marketing department get tired and quickly slam together the ending for the grocery store’s holiday commercial before racing home? It’s a cartoon: a kind couple hosts a sequence of young, short, elementary-size, foreign exchange students over the years. For each child, they are shown making a specially cooked meal from their home country. The refrigerator over the years becomes covered with photos and messages from their hosted kids. The couple gets old and grey – and are sitting alone before a fire when the doorbell rings just before a holiday – and it’s ALL of the little ones they hosted over the years come back to visit. Cute. Sweet music….but….the couple ages and gets grey, but oddly, in the short version playing the most here, the foreign students never grew or changed even a little bit. Still short sitting at the dining table. But they are all happy. “Food brings us together” is the message (Even if it stunts your growth?). Apparently, it can hold back time, too. Maybe a market for that! (Big picture: Details count or used to. Oh, OK it’s the thought that counts…. )

Darn management. Scrooge reincarnated. What do they mean, I can leave when the job is done? Man, this 9 to 5 office job is killing my life. (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Better lettered.

A college instructor is charged with preparing the soon-to-be-graduated students for the business world. Recent assignment was to apply for a real job with a cover letter and resume (which she helped each to perfect). Oddly, not one of the students even get asked to come in for an interview, so she asks to see their cover letters. The first one opened with “Whazz up, y’all?” The student explained, “Well, you said to make it sound friendly.”

Maybe it’s adding up after all?  Whazz-cha’ thanq?

(The “q” makes the word cuter, right?)

Cutting up and cutting out.

Phil, The Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

The view from there must be lovely even if a bit distorted and shaky? (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

 

 

 

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