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May 25, 2016 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Early request gets sleigh spot.

Santa on summer vacation checking his watch. (Screenshot Christmas Treasures.com)

What? It’s not even half past September. (Christmas Treasures.com)

Santa, please. It’s no pony, but it runs. Fast.

Even if the center console does looks strangely like a giant TV remote, not one complaint. Promise.

Maybe you can strap it on the rungs behind your sleigh? Thought I’d be considerate with an early request so you and the elves will have plenty of time to work out the details. I’ve heard mumbles about this gift isn’t child’s play.

But pleeeease, Santa. It’s so much cooler than last year’s hoverboards. 

Pay no attention to the smoke screen about lithium-ion batteries bursting into flame.

I can park it outside. Under a blanket.

I could even sleep in it like Brother did with that little red wagon one year.

Union negociations among girl, Santa and reindeer. 1878 (USPD.pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

“They say the Hoof and Jingle Union won’t allow it. (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

It’s got that wheel thingy.

Where the faster you go, the brighter the headlights get so you can see farther down the road – just like those bicycle lights that only worked if you pedaled like crazy – only this time the pedal is to the metal.

Within the speed limit. Always within the speed limit, Santa. Promise.

And it’s got all sorts of weird cool stuff.

Like a tachometer showing zero RPM, yet you’re rolling in traffic. Got it in electric sneak mode.

Also that front electric motor won’t bother contributing any power once the speed’s up to around 120 mph ’cause, well, no need for overkill. There’s a place for the frisky V8 internal combustion engine component…like wide-open West Texas, Wyoming, or Utah.

And that paint, “Liquid Silver”. The perfect name for it. (But any color would be just fine. I know the reflection off that silver on Christmas Eve might draw too much attention to the sleigh by ground radar.)

Children in Pony cart. 1900-1920? Keene Public Lib. and Historical Scociety of Cheshire Co.:Commoms.wikimedia.org)

Don’t even ask. You take those reins and it’ll be all over. (Keene Lib. and Historical Society of Cheshire Co./Commoms.wikimedia.org)

Don’t listen to the stodgy ones who say things like “You’ll shoot your eye out” or “You’ll run into a tree the first time you take it out.”

I’ll dazzle them with the hybrid’s low emissions (Less CO2 emissions than a Toyota Yaris 1.5) and saving the environment while having plenty of zoom capacity.

Listen to Jay Leno! He’s not joking! Car guy and factory race car guy:

More zoom, less gloom. Nothing childish about that. Please, Santa. Tres Leches! Promise!

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

To assist convincing the elves in your house: “The future of supercars. For the first time, the likes of Ferrari, Porsche, McLaren, and BMW are embracing a new word – hybrid.” (Discoveryuk.com/wheelerdealers)

girl on horse. late 19th century, maybe India, (Unknown author, Flickr/USPD.pub.date, no cr/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Not exactly the mustang imagined.(USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

May 23, 2016 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Darth, no. Tiny inclinations.

 Partly robot crafted, so wonder it's robot looking 2015 Porsche 918 rear view. (Image: caranddriver.com)

Partly robot crafted, so no wonder it reflects their image. (2015 Porsche 918 Spyder looking forward from rear /caranddriver.com)

Started innocently enough.

Then the steely eyeing.

And they were ready to roll.

A little detailing required. Some are predestined for that.

What makes cars go. Screenshot.YouTube/YouCar Porsche 918 Spyder. video of factory))

Artful little things that make it go. (YouTube.YouCar/Porsche in the factory)

The realm of dogs and little kids.

You know how they fly tethered to adults like tails of kites?

Stopping to look at every blade of grass, the tiniest details.

No clue what’s going on in the big one’s minds, but there’s so many little things on their level to explore. Such important stuff and always jerked along before finished.

Such training, that.

Porsche innards Details from Porsche 918 Spyder being built in factory. (YouCar/ You Tube.)

Man and machine. The guts of both work better when all the little parts are aligned and operating in unison as intended (Porsche innards/YouCar.You Tube)

Tiniest details make the difference.

Machines and parts. If I owned an old fashion hardware store, the bins and shelves would look like museum displays. Little showcases. They would like that. Tons of tiny sculptures previously considered only as ordinary parts. 

The mechanics are mind-boggling.

People can’t seem to keep things in order with their own, so what chance …

A few little things to help you get on their good side. Possible conversation starters. Focused and recalculating.

Small thoughts.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

 Side view of 2015 Porshe 918 Spyder (image caranddriver.com)

You see that little recessed angle shape on the fender behind the front wheel? Designed to scoop air past the mirror stem and direct it into that big vertical slit behind the door to cool the engine which sits behind the seats. A little thing of some thought. Hybrid supercar 2015 Porsche 918 Spyder uses electric motors and a gasoline combustion engine. A little change coming down the road. (caranddriver.com)

 

 

 

 

 

May 20, 2016 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Most Likely

It’s the ultimate mantra.

For less stress. Less clutter of mind and garage.

A simple guide best learned early: “Is it most likely to end up in a garage sale?”

Dog showing menacing look with Woof Washer around neck.. (screenshot. woofwasher360.com)

Oh, yeah. That dog looks thrilled. Nothing like a shot of water right into the ear canal. Got the vet and ER on speed dial? (screenshot.Woofwasher360)

For your consideration, “The Woof Washer”. (Theme from Twilight Zone eerily plays.)

The idea’s origin probably spilled out of a car wash.

And I have yet to get an acceptable answer why a large muddy pooch carrying half the dirt from the south 40 on its’ coat cannot run through the car wash.

So unrealistic to think that Molly would grab on to a waving strip of cloth and be sent spinning wildly around. She might try to take a piece home, but she isn’t interested in carnival rides.

Standing dog with Woof Washer circling torso. (Bed, Bath, and Beyond.com)

Maybe if you start at the back bumper. What? Wait. There’s 3 hands. Well, with a helper, anything’s possible. Or a stuffed dog. I think it moves in the instructional video. (Bed,bath,andbeyond.com)

So Woof Washer. What do you think?

Molly loves hula hoops for breakfast and lunch. Almost as much as harnesses and Frisbees. Not exactly the fiber we plan for.

Splashy, but doesn’t pass the pitch for pups. A Most Likely, most likely.

Yet although with a bit of repackaging, mothers of toddlers might consider…

Water seeking it’s level, most likely.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

Pony wash! Works on miniature horses!(woofwasher360.com)

Pony wash! Perfect if your parents got you that horse like they promised. Told you. I ‘m not suffering in silence. If you don’t get that, check the last picture’s caption in the pervious post. (screenshot woofwasher360.com)

 

 

 

 

May 18, 2016 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Beauties facing off

Crushed under the ugly political clatter, no wonder people are picking a peace of beauty (which, of course, is in the eye of those holding it.)

Everyone deserves a beauty break. Even if there are costs.

JJ. Smith and some of his beauty contestants. He makes the smiles brighter.. (Houstoniamag.com)

He makes the smiles brighter. (Houstoniamag.com)

If  J.J. Smith is coaching, it may cost a pretty penny.

Known as the King of Queens, J.J. has shaped more beauty pageant winners than you can shake a rose at.

Priceless bit of advice from him? “Be a first class version of yourself, not a second class version of someone else.” Wise words for any of life’s contests.

His secret to winning? “Nailing the interview” Answering the hard questions.

Beauty pageant hopefuls aren’t the only ones seeking him out recently. JJ says he’s seeing more job applicants and businessmen seeking advice.

Gee, do ya’ think presidential candidates should sign up for some instruction? After all, it’s so much of a beauty contest.

“Crowned king of beauty queens shares secrets to his success” (VIDEO.abc13)

“King of Queens shows what it takes to be a Pageant Queen” (VIDEO.39.NewsFix)

“The Coaching Kind of Pageant Queens” Houstonia Magazine article. (Lot of beauties and pictures in this behind the scenes look.)

After any interview, JJ says people still to strut their stuff and be real.

Maybe cause a few wolf whistles. (Do they still risk doing that?)

This one does. A real howl or two even.

Husky friends all made up. (YouTube. llanaMkeup artist.)

Husky friends all made up.(Screenshot.ilana’s YouTube)

You can watch makeup artist ilana’s step by step transformation from beauty to beautiful beast now in English.

Or if big cats are more your thing,  grab her tiger tale here.

Not to be catty, some claim one must suffer for beauty.

Probably quickly followed by “Suffer in silence, PLEASE.

You know what they say: “Beauty is as beauty does”.

Face it. Fads are beautiful fun.

For a while everyone pouted for Duck Face selfies only to drop those for the sultry and slimming Fish Gape selfies.

Recently, the selfie face has been handed a new accessory: T. REX Hands. (If the Kardashians and other celebs are in, others will follow the trend?)

Kinda reminds me of the desperate to be the first on the block fad variations with Planking, Coning, Leisure Diving, Horsemanning (like headless horseman), Batmanning, and Owling a few years ago. Anyone remember those? (Refresh 2011 fads’ posts here.)

Hey, it is too similar – fads of increasing levels of difficulty presenting more and more dangerous situations: ever spike your eye with a nail? Talk about suffering…

No contest, Beauty. (A winning neigh.)

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

man and woman with horse. 1921 Film Black Beauty. (Photoplay magazine. Vitagraph Co. of America. USPD: pub.date, exp. cr./WIkimedia.org))

Listen kiddies do not fall for that “If you make straight A’s in school you can have a horse.” Oh, nay. And I did not suffer in silence. No beauty in that. (1921 Film “Black Beauty”USPD/Wikimedia.org)

 

 

 

 

 

May 16, 2016 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Uplifting beauty

The fish mumble and grumble they thought they were well rid of that rude, anti-school bunch when they crawled up on the beach and lost their gills. Counted their lucky starfish. Now not content with displacing bears, wolves, and gators, apparently, here they come again. Boomerang species warnings must be out.

The main complaint about living aboard a boat is the lack of space for storage and entertaining.

Once land gets expensive, floating homes able to move anywhere are the logical next step.

(Although I hear the sea turtles are considering copyright infringement action.)

While design and construction of modern houseboats is interesting, moving a giant eco-friendly, two-story home with an underwater basement and a sod roof from the construction site into the water is really fascinating.

Talk about needing a lift.

Empty high capacity travel lift read to move. (nauticexpo.com)

Not your ordinary moving, Van. It’s like Uber for giants. High capacity travel lift all dressed up and ready to go. A drive to the water is always energizing. (nauticexpo.com)

Moving a boat into the water is one thing, but a giant house? You have to see it to believe it.

Large ocean going vessel being carried by a marine travel lift. (nauricexpo.com)

Not a homeowners’ dream floating house, but requires similar travel arrangements. A large ocean-going vessel being carried by a marine travel lift to the water. (nauricexpo.com)

The contemporary Seattle floating home has an underwater picture window.

Not sure who’s going to be watching whom – and for what purpose. 

Ocean going residents may be floating out a word to the wise and be evaluating their next moves.

You know, once they move in, there goes the neighborhood.

boat on machHigh capacity marine travel lift placing boat into water (nauticexpo.com)

Like SUVs dream of being sports cars, floating homes dream of being swift sailboats. A high-capacity marine travel lift placing boat into water.  (nauticexpo.com)

Mechanics and engineering are beautiful things…as long as they remembers to keep the beautiful, beautiful.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

Something to ponder: Is it really a good idea to teach what may be the oceans’ advanced scouts about military strategy and how human minds work? After all, if they seize control of all the seas…

MacBoat in big marine travel lift. Remotely controlled travel lift with all wheel steering. Capacity up to 130 tons (nauticexpo.com)

Word on the waves is that crabs are digging in with patent infringement complaints over leggy appendages and sideways scuttling. (Remotely controlled travel lift with all wheel steering. Capacity up to 130 tons. nauticexpo.com)

 

 

May 13, 2016 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Aye, go round

Extreme close up of elephant's eye. (Houston Zoo/khou.com screenshot)

Eyeing a tall tail or two. (Houston Zoo/khou.com screenshot)

Nothing like keeping an eye on things.

Lilly was feeling more stuffy, than lithe and fluffy. Nothing lovely about those numbers creeping up on the scale.

What is a skunk to do?

She’s had heard mention of 24 Fitness, personal trainers, and Pilates, but she tended to be tied up at work and unable to get loose for those.

All wound up and nowhere to go until a zoo volunteer gave her the run around.

He put some plans, pipes, and parts from 3D printer together.

No instructions needed. Lilly took a look, then, quickly took a spin. Flat wore out the first model.

Within months Lilly was back to her photo shoot weight without any dietary deprivations. She seems to enjoy the spin class.

Now other skunked zoos are asking for wheel plans with rumors of one mongoose being quite wistful over the round about idea.

Exercise wheel for Lilly the Skunk. What makes her world go round.(M. Griffith.Houston Zoo)

Big enough to make her world go round.(Inventor M. Griffiths.Volunteer. Houston Zoo)

Lilly is also happy a new thing is going round with the zoo’s elephants.

EHV, a type of Elephant-only herpes virus, attacks the lining of elephant’s blood vessels and can kill in as quickly as 12 hours.

In the past, elephants have died while the zoo vets and staff waited more than 12 hours for test results to come back or for plasma to be whirled from healthy elephant blood to use as treatment for a sick one.

When the Gulf Coast Regional Blood Center recently updated their old equipment, they donated an replaced working centrifuge to the Houston Zoo.

Let the news be trumpeted loudly: Having a centrifuge on site 24-7 will save elephant lives. What used to take 12 hours can now be done in 6-10 minutes.

The zoo is stockpiling healthy blood and plasma in case it’s needed here or elsewhere.

Elephant donating blood from ear. (Houston Zoo/khou.com/news)

Did someone say cantaloupe afterwards? Oh, OK, I’ll donate, but any chance you could put in a cute little earring while you’re pricking my ear? A series of little gold rings, maybe? (Houston Zoo/khou.com)

What goes around comes around.

Aye, aye for that.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

Lilly the Skunk in keeper's arms at the Houston Zoo(YouTube screenshot/Houston.Zoo)

Lilly the Skunk isn’t a display zoo resident. This social butterfly is an animal education ambassador who may be seen walking on leash from meetings or, more commonly, in her keeper’s arms greeting children and teaching them about skunks and other wild animals. Then she retires to the privacy of her own backstage suite with exercise room.  (YouTube screenshot.Houston.Zoo)

May 11, 2016 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Old Blue Eyes Walks.

 Frank Sinatra talking to Rita Hayworth. Columbia Pict. "Pal Joey" movie trailer.1957(USPD: pub.date, no cr notice/Commons.wikimedai.org)

“Well, frankly, you think you can just bat those big blue eyes and walk out of here?”(USPD/Commons.wikimedai.org)

Troubled waters work just fine for some, but he was worried.

He gnashed his teeth. Thought it had all been arrange: transportation and luxury accommodations at a plush resort. Stupid flooding. Would others forced out of their homes get preferential treatment? He’d been promised. He had reservations.

He’d been misunderstood for a long time. People judged him by his color.

Desperate to get past their preconceived ideas, he stared unblinkingly.

Sitting very, very still. To the point people thought he was dead.

Even tilting his head so they could get a good look,  but few noticed his eyes were a beautiful blue, not red.

Alligator. Blanco face to face. Such blue eyes you have! (Houston Zoo)

“Mesmerizing, right? Should have copyrighted that “Old Blue Eyes” slogan when there was a chance.”(Houston Zoo)

Blanco is a leucistic by a genetic twist, not an albino.

Pale white with only a few brown beauty spots, the American Alligator came to the Houston zoo seeking protection from the harsh sun about 30 years ago.

One of the older zoo residents, he’s still got a good 20 years ahead of him and he’s always dreamed of seeing the world. ..the real one…outdoors. He had vague memories of his Pre-K years in a Louisiana swamp.

Sigh. No place like home – even if you have a huge fan base and wanted for nothing. Life in a gilded cage.

Elvis and Michael Jackson could identify.

Blanco greeted visitors from his indoor habitat at the zoo (Houston Zoo)

Got chicken? Rats? Cats? The 11 foot Blanco greeted visitors from his indoor habitat. (Houston Zoo)

It didn’t take alligator tears to convince the zoo that Blanco deserved to live as wild as possible, but he sunburned and would not survive in the swamp without help.

And nobody was volunteering to splash around behind him with a large beach umbrella and sunblock.

Not even interns.

Even before the Zika threat. No easy answer.

Alligator Blanco's smile. (Houston Zoo)

Could anyone walk away from such a handsome guy? He would sit like that for hours. Hours. Not blinking.(Houston Zoo)

Where there’s a will there’s a way. Gators need to soak and play.

Blanco now rises like a ghost out of the water in his own customize swamp at Crocodile Encounters which provides a special shade cover, deep pool for long swims, mud banks with weeds, and, most important, bullfrogs to chase.

The retiree has settled in and now enjoys early morning sunrises before the serious work of lounging

Without worrying about some little kid tapping on the glass screaming “Why doesn’t he move?”

Blanco enjoying the sunrise a few days ago on the banks of his new home(Crocodileencounter FB

Hey, like my new crib? Housewarming gifts appreciated. Chicken is always nice. (Crocodile Encounter FB)

Life is good.

Enough to make Old Blue Eyes new.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

Go gaga for gators? Here’s more:

Alligator Blanco in his own deep pool. (Crocodileencounter FB)

Working on sneak attacks. A ghostly sight rising from the depths. Perhaps Hollywood will be calling?(Crocodile encounter FB)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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