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July 27, 2015 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Next family of reality stars.

A family that won’t let you forget them – more antics than the Simpsons or the Kardashians.

Hold on for stormy relationships alternating with deceptive warmth. Emotions run deep – and sometimes cruel. One who loves to give others the cold shoulder. And, of course, there’s one hot Mama. (Closely watched by a younger version…)

Young model and make-up artist(Harper's Bazaar Arabia Range Rover Sport, 2010/LAnd Rover MENA/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Mom. Please. Go home. If I wanted sun screen, I’d put it on myself.(Harper’s Bazaar.2010/Land Rover MENA/Commons.wikimedia.org)

The Dad should have answered the casting call for “Mad Men”. Serious business

“Get it done now of you’ll be sorry” type. But with style and cool elegance. His entrances never go unnoticed.

Funny, he’s always demanding a coat. Rigid on that. Bet on vacation he cranks the AC in the room down to frigid.

But he loves to party. They must have quite a holiday guest list with their dinner parties being legendary: Druids, elves, Nessie, Snow Miser and his brother – all the old and the interesting.

His family knows underneath that harsh exterior, dear old Dad is the calming influence who sees value in wrapping up in blanket around the glowing fireplace for retelling long ago stories. Family time mandated. He insists – gently – forcing lulling everyone into a warm cozy mood.

Of course the sultry Mom with her blinding beauty.

Quickly revealed as the warm nurturing one who is the most willing to relax and enjoy life. Proof opposites to do attract.

People smile at humorous recollections of her light attitude. Maybe it’s because she nudges everyone towards a healthier lifestyle – encouraging participation in all sorts of sports and outdoor activities.

She does keep the family on a schedule, though. Helps to deal with change.

The teenage twins are as different as night and day. 

One is colorful, light and breezy, creating sunny smiles whenever she arrives. Always motivating little gatherings. A light wine on the patio person.

The other crisp, restless, yet warm underneath it all. Loves to cheer along at football games in outdoor stadiums. More of a beer and tailgating fan.

Individual personalities with both sharing some of their parents’ qualities as in any family.

Indulgent Mom, aware of real potential drama, keeps the kids close.

Always on either side of her which seems a little restrictive, but she knows their storms.

A trait, she admits, run on her side of the family. She, herself, can be pushed just so far when things heat up and she spins off in a destructive rage.

The teenagers often seem impatient and unwilling to wait their turn.

Mom knows the pair can cause trouble and confusion with their widely swinging tempers and all their easily given promises.

While known as a delightful source of fresh energy, the two can also be unpredictably moody. But both are well liked and people are always jazzed to see them.

Perhaps seeing value quiet times, contemplating clouds, and lazy day dreaming, Mom’s not above heating up a calculated brownouts to pull the plug on electronic devices.

Mother knows best.

Wonder if she’s consider being a school room mother this year? That would be quite a show.

elegant couple from the  1920's (Fairbanks. and Mary.Pickford.Bains News Service/LOC/USPD.pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Is it yoga? Botox? Plastic surgery? They seem ageless.(1920’s/USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

They’d fit right into any neighborhood: 

Old Man Winter, his lovely wife, Summer, and their two children, Spring and Fall.

No doubt you’ll see them turning into your street sometime this year. So get ready.

Seasonally adjusted

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

All rights reserved. Copyrighted. NO permissions granted for this dog image

Whoa. It’s so hot here, they got out the Texas-size water bowl.©

 

July 24, 2015 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Ducks in a row

line of women holding cats on leashes.(1961. casting call in Hollywood for film/ Los Angeles Times/UCLA lib/USPD: no cr, pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

It’s how things line up (1961.Hollywood casting call/Los Angeles Times/UCLA lib/USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Ducks in a row. Why is that the preference?

You need a power washer following behind them.

So much more sense to use cats. It works. Except for those who think.

Thoughts stray as much as kittens.

Cute when little, fresh, and young, but can they nag, get demanding, and even stink when old.

Ask any writer.

Ducks simply fly away if attention turns.

Cats, kittens, and ideas may stray, but once they decide they belong to you, you’re stuck with them.

All of them start out fuzzy: ideas, kittens, and ducks

Then they shed and shred while growing into themselves.

Ducks in a row. A term created by hunters?

For which, sport?

Straight line from opening to rising action – climbing to great heights before some conclusion.

Before coming too close to the sun. Too high in the tree.

Offer no leashes for ducks, cats, or thoughts.

Good line.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

NO permissions granted for this image of bird in sky. ALL rights reserved. Copyrighted

No jesses. ©

July 22, 2015 / philosophermouseofthehedge

What ifs, you animals.

two women. "Hailing the Ferry" painting by Knight(1839-1924)/US Public domain image, expired copyright, artist+70 yrs/commons.wikimedia.org)

“You-hoo. We know you’re stuck in the mud. Being neighborly, we’ve brought chicken! Yes, it’s fried. No, it is so not junk food. We eat it!” (USPD/commons.wikimedia.org)

What if we started treating each other like we treat alligators?

Transferring gator etiquette across species might actually work.

  • If you hear them hiss, you’re too close. So backup. Give them room. They’ll calm down.
  • See a big smile? Return one with neutral posture until all is known. It’s not all about the biting.
  • If they aren’t bothering anything, just leave them alone. You mind your business, and they’ll mind theirs.
  • Recognizing limits makes it easier in the long run. Some may sprint as fast as 35 mph, but only for short distances and they soon tire out losing interest in the attack.
  • When visiting, show consideration for their way of doing things. Sensible.
  • Once you stop expecting them to be just like you, real understanding and appreciation can start.

So, what are the chances?

On the big scale of things, what if people did treat others the way we treat alligators?

Slight concern if gators started adopting human etiquette, though. Snapping at each other would be certain to increase.

gator cruising the surf. Bryan Beach near Freeport, TX (click2houston.com screenshot)

They warned me to use the surf board’s ankle leash. Where did it go? Maybe I can say a shark ate it.”(Bryan Beach near Freeport, TX/click2houston.com screenshot)

Why look. Cuba isn’t the only one attempting to improve friendly relations.

An ambassador from the gator lands is sticking his neck out – attempting to crossover towards a more peaceable kingdom – with a show of enjoying recreational opportunities normally reserved for humans.

Now how can people be less willingness to try change after such a courageous demonstration?

Zen thoughts often surface during medicinal beach spa visits.

Family spots alligator at Bryan Beach in Freeport, TX” (Sedate gator enjoys the surf’s edge on video.)

Cruising along as the salt washes off parasites on his hide. Gators don’t get this big (over 8 feet) being dumb, so he won’t stay long due to heat and too much salt in the Gulf waters.

Locals, familiar with the occasional gator visitor, keep an eye out, and coexist until they wander back to their jobs in the swamp. Vacation time used up by all.

Sharp thinking.

Oh, I know. Yet another gator, but this one’s at the beach. Weird. Just when you though it was safe to go back into the water…

Could have included that recent shark trying bite into a debate with a surfer or thousands of giant jellyfish bringing their social entanglements to Britain.

Or approached with the man shot while defending sea turtle eggs on a Florida beach.(So lazy. They won’t even watch over their own. Sigh.)

Animals, such clowns.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

alligator swimming in Gulf. BRyan Beach near Freeport, TX (click2hoston.com screenshot)

“Oh, the paparazzi. Even with a tough hide, it’s difficult to cruise along with all of that. It’s vacation. Give me a break, guys! Respect diplomatic immunity.” (click2hoston.com screenshot)

 

July 20, 2015 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Taking a toll

It’s what was promised: wide open road, no lines at the toll booth, no speed limit, and Highway Patrol just nodding with a smile.

Commuter’s fantasy. (Might as well add a Hennessey C7 Corvette Stingray to that dream while you’re at it.)

With a Siren’s voice as she showed the seductive suburb homes, the realtor purred “It’s only 20 minutes to downtown.” (20 minutes? Exactly when? During Super Bowl? At 8 a.m. on a January first? Should have checked for fingers crossed.)

After the papers were signed and the moving truck emptied, reality cruises in: a long daily commute in heavy traffic.

Wide open curving road. EZ tag test on Grand Parkway (Screenshot Hennessey/You tube)

The promise. Only a mirage. (Screenshot Hennessey/You tube)

Those of the outer wastelands, drove initiatives for more roads.

Let the paving begin.

Each completed concrete ribbon was welcomed and celebrated. Party on the Pavement was born.

One Party on the Pavement featured the Goo Goo Dolls

All kids should be so lucky to have totally foolish parents who will happily drive a carload of preteen girls to where they will be smashed into a huge mob of people standing for miles and miles on the new freeway – up and down overpasses – in 95+ temperatures for hours in the sun of jumping, shrieking, dancing, while waiting for the main act at sunset. (followed by fireworks)

The original shake and bake.

The overpass so overloaded it actually vibrated and swayed from side to side.

But it was memorable. (Glitter and spray-on pink hair works so well with drenching sweat.)

close up of the pavement on 290. (Screenshot Hennessey C7 Corvette run/YouTube)

With heat waves coming off the pavement, we felt pretty green after a few hours even with all the Gatorade. Anyone suggest leaving? Not on your life. Goo Goo Dolls. Free concert. Gut it up.(Hennessey/YouTube)

The Hardy Toll Road Party rolled out differently.

First, October means the pavement won’t scorch so much on contact.

And secondly, it was a moving experience. The entire road was open for bikes,  skateboards, skates, walkers – anything without motors or engines.

Who hasn’t wanted to take to the road like that?

A rare chance for flatlanders to get the thrill of zooming down a hill (also known as an overpass) way too fast and totally out of control/unable to stop.

Competitive bicycle racers from out of town had to manuever around the little kids being pulled in red wagons and on trikes.

We only had one a flat tire in the group, but that person was happy to wait in the shade with the cooler. (They swore someone stole the beverages. We swore, too.)

Wonder if kids grow up and remember those outings.

They trade up to more impressive wheels so quickly.

Driving down a toll road at over 200 mph in a Corvette becomes the dream.

If only such fun was allowed.

police car escort. Hennessey C7 run on 290 (Screenshot/youtube. Hennessey)

Smile! (Screenshot/youtube.Hennessey)

No, not just being allowed. Being asked! Pretty please, asked! It happened.

The Toll Road authorities needed to make sure the EZ tag readers would be speedy enough to keep up with traffic along a new part of The Grand Parkway.

What? A totally new smooth road closed to other vehicles and no speed limit?

Hennessey didn’t have to be asked twice. Their C7 Corvette Stingray was ready to go.

Now that’s a morning drive of delight .

Commuters can dream as they drive those exact same lanes now.

Better remember the Highway Patrol isn’t nodding and smiling at any copycats.

Brake with care,

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

driver insideDriver and  C7 Corvette interior.S Grand Parkway toll road(Hennessey screenshot/Youtube)

Over the limit? Speeds ordinary commuters can only dream of. (Corvette C7/Hennessey screenshot/YouTube)

Read more?

Grand Parkway EZ Tag Toll Readers: No lines. No waiting...for this dream car.(Screenshot Hennessey C7/You tube)

Grand Parkway EZ Tag Toll Readers: No lines. No waiting…for this dream car. (Screenshot Hennessey C7/You tube)

 

 

 

July 17, 2015 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Lookin’. Chickens. Snakes. Downhome dogs.

dog in sunglasses. No permissions granted. Copyrighted. ALL rights reserved

“Yes, Those. That’s the look we’re going for.”©

You see it don’t you? Incomprehensible.

Post position vacant. (Not to be confused with Pole position. Politics. Enough to make anyone disappear…but that might be the source of the emptiness.)

Able and willing to run the mystery down – once I get outfitted. (Hmmm, what does mystery taste like? Rabbit? Chicken?)

Foul concerns about those trendy backyard hens.

Mom always said be careful with your nose, eyes, and mouth. “You don’t know where that one may have scratched.”

“CDC: Don’t kiss your pet chicken”

Mystery why so many known facts get lost in the rush of coolness.

Not barking up the wrong tree about cobras either. 

There’s a good reason why cobras aren’t allowed in hospitals: poor manners, quick to anger, and oh, yes, their tendency to have biting conversations. (People can get enough of that at any mall or even innocently watching TV these days. Who needs more?)

Some say they live for danger or attention. People, not Cobras. Then are shocked when nature takes its’ course.

“Police may have found Cobra that killed man in car.”

Dog driver. Facebook. soca.fortbendcounty:photos

As soon as that rat terrier figures out the pedals, we’re outta here. (soca.fortbendcounty/Facebook)

Driving things home is pretty important. Especially if they are dogs.

With 400-500 dogs arriving to the Fort Bend shelter monthly, the place was in overload. (Not just strays, and unfortunates, but also bait dogs. Grrr. Sorry. But what can you expect from a species that also continues to traffic in humans like they were produce? Cage fighters? Easy to suggest who should be put into cages and the key thrown away. Grrr along. It’s OK)

The “easy” solution for the shelter wasn’t so easy to make looking at those little hopeful doggy faces.

Would you believe someone discovered there are actually towns and cities that have fine animal shelters – but not one occupant? Not one dog to offer to a child looking for a pet?

Bingo. Not as easy. Volunteers stepping up. All lives matter. (Difficult to believe that people in Wisconsin, Fort Bend volunteers/SOCA(Facebook) and this animal shelter are the only ones who can come up with positive creative thoughts and solutions, but if so, hope those specific genes get multiplied so the world has a chance become a better place.)

“Stray dogs in Fort Bend County finding new homes in the Midwest with groups’ help.”

Enough stray thoughts.

Leave you with a weak end joke:

Two Helvetica fonts walked into a bar. The barkeeper said. “Get out! We don’t serve your type in here.”

Blame yourself. You stayed…or strayed off the major cyberpaths. (Yes, those can be disturbed.)

So watch out for the snake, hug a dog, but not a chicken, and have a great weekend.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

dog passenger. facebook.soca.fortbendcounty

Hit it, dude. I’ve got you and I’m goin’ home. (soca.fortbendcounty/Facebook)

 

 

 

 

July 15, 2015 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Worrisome mess. Amazon no help.

She is not amused.

No explanation accepted. When things are going well, who in their right minds would change things?

Mad cat with open mouth. ALl rights reserved. Copyrighted. NO permissions granted.

Risk Our wrath? Take that defective offering away. ©

Oh, decision by human. Of course. Dunderheads can’t leave well enough alone.

Always fiddling. Causing bank erosion, landslides, flooding from too much concrete, water table level loss and land subsidence from drawing out too much water for silly things like water parks in drought areas, not to mention that huge pile of floating of garbage in the Pacific Ocean wandering lonely, but not as lovely as a cloud.

So much to cause a growly tummy and now this.

Once informed that HRH RC Cat’s sole preference of dinners had been discontinued, She-who-shall-not-be-ignored has had mood swings from wild anger to complete meltdowns (with hairballs, tossing back of offered delicacies on what little carpet remains, and a litter associated accident protest deposit from outrage.)

RC Cat is not alone in her discomfort and despair. 

Staff from other realms have been seen staring forlornly at the empty spot on the store shelves labeled: Friskies Senior Diet Turkey & Giblets Dinner in Gravy. 

Knees are red and dusty from desperately searching behind cans on display in every possible store.

The distribution center regrets their supplies are out.

One on-line source is price gouging; $40 dollars plus $10 shipping for a two weeks supply.

Staff tried to deceive offer substitutes. HRH was quick to notice.

Tummy pains made her yowl. Her complaints, pitiful.

Staff searched for a dinner can with the same ingredients.

Simply being in a round container is not sufficient. Dunderheads.

Cat with bowing mice.(1892.Indian fairy Tales/Batten/USPD.pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

“Under my thumb.” Louder. We command you to sing louder.(1892.Batten/USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

RC Cat tearfully reminded Staff of her Early Days of Difficulty.

When Olde Tiger, by then blind and worried about an heir to the Realm, noticed a tiny wail from the top of a tree swaying dangerously near power lines with a storm approaching.

Recognizing a tiny kitten in dire need possible intern, Olde Tiger, yogi master still, focused Zen thoughts to alert Staff who foolishly responded by climbing the tree and grabbing the shy handful of swinging and biting fur.

Attempting to live in the wild far too young after escaping a bad home, RC Cat developed a delicate tummy.

Eating ants in the tree probably wasn’t the best idea.

Staff and the vets finally discovered the Miracle Dinner Can: the meal that always digested and nourished.

Straying from the Miracle Dinner Can was not tolerated well. 

Although yogurt, a bit of vanilla ice cream did have a place at the table…along with a cat selected portion of saltines cracker, tortilla chip, potato chip, or sneaked dog kibble for an occasional treat.

(HRH has always insisted that moderation is the key to a happy life.)

ALL rights reserved. NO permissions granted. Copy righted Cat.

Do you think it’s a plot? Is someone is holding out on Us?©

Luckily Staff had extra Miracle Dinner Cans in the hurricane kit.

But the end is near.

Another magic dinner can must be found ASAP.

Word spread from distressed realm to realm that there are two Natural Balance Miracle Dinner Cans that are very close in formula and are working with the elderly, ones with health issues, and those with delicate tummies.

So far, HRH RC Cat sleeping comfortably, but has been heard murmuring in her sleep. “Why, Friskies? Why?”

So let’s tippy toe out. Let her rest.

But make sure she hasn’t lifted your credit card for Amazon….

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

Rough looking male Cats at a bar counter.Louis Wain. The bachelor party.1939/USPD: artist life, reprod of PD art/Commons.wikimedia.org)

All right. We former stock holders demand an explanation.(Wain./USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

 

 

 

July 13, 2015 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Gators gathering shark advice.

walking gator, South Carolina.(Gareth Rasberry/Wikimedia.org)

Pardon me. You said third door on the left? (Rasberry/Wikimedia.org)

Don’t drink and dive with gators.

Gators know people stupidly think no one will notice an addition of warm yellow water in a swamp.  Seriously, anyone would get testy if that happened in their living room. Probably snap at the fool, too.

Golden Retriever in water/Scot Beckner/Flickr/Wikimedia.org)

You say, “Fetch.”
Gators say, “Dinner.” (Beckner/Flickr/Wikimedia.org)

Resist asking gators to participate in object retrieval games in water.

Being budget travelers, gators get confused and think it’s room service.

Forget inviting these introverts to block parties.

Social situations too stressful.

The shy ones may make an appearance, then try and grab a few a few snacks and carry them off.

Racks of kayaks outside a store/ No permissions granted/all rights reserved/copyrighted.

Hey look! Appetizer trays for gator gatherings.

Recently sharks have made it clear that they are sick of annual summer intruders, perhaps gators are snapping, too.

Just never know what’s behind a smile

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

Dachshund leaping over log/Dan Bennett/Flickr/Commons.wikimedia.org

“Mom, that log moved. Called me an hors d’oeuvre. Reel me in. Leash alert!” (Bennett/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Gator paparazzi:

  • “Blind gator caught in Ft. Worth’s Trinity River”/park (CBS/DFW local). Too blind to know he was near people and should hide, he wasn’t hurting anyone – even at 10 feet long. Probably washed down by spring floods. Paddle boarders and kayakers were maneuvering around him, but sooner or later the Tx Parks and Wildlife people knew someone would start tossing chickens at him. “There’s alligators probably through here all the time,” he said, pointing to the Trinity River. ‘You’d never know they were here. ‘Cause they don’t want you know. they don’t want nothing to do with you, they’re swimming on by.’ ”
    “Once on land the gator he captured was pretty well-mannered. ‘He never hissed, he never growled; once we got him up on the bank and tape off, he was just as nice and docile as an alligator can be.’ ” This lucky gator was released into the wild in location far from people.
  • “Gator kills man swimming in marina bayou”. (Video) Drunk wouldn’t listen – not to people or posted signs. First fatal alligator attack in over 90 years here. A friend hunted down the 11 1/2 foot gator and killed it. Game wardens are not going to press charges.
  • “Son and father survive alligator attack in Chambers Co.” (Video) Family decides to swim in a swampy area. A desperate struggle.
Marina No swimming Alligator sign.(click2houston.com screenshot)

Gators, belonging to an ancient order, aren’t interested in diversity in their exclusive swamp country clubs. So sue them, but wouldn’t advise pursuing them.(screenshot.click2houston.com)

 

 

 

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