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September 16, 2019 / philosophermouseofthehedge

No flash. Just dash.

Girls screaming at a concert. 1984. ( Rob Bogaerts/Anefo.Dutch National Archives/Commons.wikimedia.org)

“It’s them! Outta the way. He needs me!” (Rob Bogaerts/Anefo Dutch Nat. Archives/Commons.wikimedia.org)

No special effects. The primitive backdrops rather flat. No choreography, yet they were a hit with a few high notes.

Who was the first Boy Band, the one that set the formula for all the rest?

Hold the microphone – it sure looks like the western TV show Bonanza set the pattern. 

  • There was a reserved, “tall, dark and handsome” one: Adam. The oldest, he was philosophical, the thoughtful, the smart one.
  •  Hoss/Eric, the athletic middle boy, filled the role of big, lovable, strong, yet, kind, if not the sharpest tool in the shed..
  • Then there was the hot-headed, bad boy: Little Joe, the youngest: a dreamy, romantic (and many said, the cutest).
  • Riding herd over them through time and scripted drama, was band of boys manager, sensible Ben Cartwright

The show must go on- even if one of the guys decides to leave for greener pastures or a solo career. Bonanza’s band of brothers showed how it was done.

  • Nephew Will Cartwright (Rode in as a substitute during the time “Adam” left then returned)
  • Little Joe’s maternal older half-brother, Clay, took the stage for a bit.
  • Another one filling a blank spot was a certified “bad boy” Griff King, a parolee who tries to reform his life under Ben’s guidance (Female fans wistfully dreamed of reforming the troubled one.)
4 men in cowboy outfits. Cast of 1962 TV series Bonanza (NBC tv/sponsor Chevy pub. relations company (USPD. pub.date, pub.photo, artist life/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Wardrobe note: Uniform costume within genre, yet each demonstrates their own designated personality. (Their General store must have had quite a selection considering the different hats.. That clothing must have been made from that couch fabric that repels dirt and water. They always look so clean for ranch hands.)(USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Naturally drama among group members hooks fans, then and now. Backstories and personal conflicts are a must.

  • When Adam returned after going AWOL from the series, he found that his fiancée had fallen in love with Will and those two packed up her daughter, left by stage left and was never seen again. Nothing like being left at the altar for a sad song.
  • There’s Little Joe’s paternity. His French Creole mother, Marie, was previously married to husband, “Big Joe” Collins / Jean De’Marigny (depending on the episode) who died saving Ben Cartwright. Of course Ben comforted her in her grief and they married.
  • Three brothers. Three mothers. Step children always adds tension and angst. Ah, the struggle for favoritism.

Naturally, as with any boy group, they age. No problem! Nothing like a boy band reunion as adults – sometimes with families in tow. They did that, too.

  • Adam supposedly immigrated to Australia and had a son, Adam ‘A.C.’ Cartwright, Jr, who almost showed up in a return visit episode.
  • Fan hearts were broken when a script sent Little Joe to war. (But a son, Benjamin ‘Benj’ Cartwright, actually showed up later in a couple of Bonanza movies.)
4 men riding horses. 1959 TV series Bonanza. Cast: dan Blocker, Michael LAndon, Loren Greene, Pernell ROberts . NBC (USPD. pub. photo, artist life, pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

All riding the same, but all riding very different horses. Setting the band width pattern. (USPD./Commons.wikimedia.org)

Boy bands today always claim they are not pop and fluff – that they do offer serious cultural messages. So did the Bonanza bunch.

Only their basic formula, “caring for one another and fighting for just causes”,  was all done on weekly TV episodes rather than on Twitter and social media.

  • The Bonanza boys focused on relationships and working through troubles and conflicts – except not done with music, in song, or with choreographed dance steps. (Just as well, the image of Hoss whirling like one of Disney’s hippos in the old Fantasia…) 
  • The modern boy bands may brag they to promote social justice on a much bigger internet stage, but the Bonanza bunch included on the small flickering screens scripts about the environment, substance abuse, domestic violence, anti-war sentiment, illegitimate births, bigotry against Asians, African Americans, Native Americans, Jewish people, Mormons, the disabled  (List of the corresponding episodes here.). Surprising accepting differences and diversity stuff.

Flash back boys.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

Vintage Bonanza episodes on several YouTube channels (see one here) or on Amazon Prime.

Three people in western dress dancing. Bonanza pub. photo by NBC1962 (USPD. pub.date, artist life/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Apparently they did try to choreograph a dance number in 1962. She looks a little worried.(USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

 

 

 

September 12, 2019 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Manic Oppression

Politicians are like diapers: both should be changed frequently for the same reason.

They’re coming. They’re coming. Lock up your daughters and hang on to your wallets. The third Democratic lecturing you common people from above debate is happening here.

Woman dressed as cat sitting on vintage plane (Kitirik mascot 1958. (KTRK publicity photo/Hou.Chron)

We’ve always welcomed visitors. Even if a bit catty and with a bit of black humor.(1958 local Children’s show mascot Kitirik at airport/KTRK publicity photo/Hou.Chron)

Ironically the police chief (think Barney Fife or Officer Clancy) was on last night telling locals “If you don’t have business here, stay away. Leave work early. Do not attempt to get into this area”.

A gathering (placed by design in a working class neighborhood) being staged so people can get to know the people who want to be their next president….but you ordinary voters people do not come. Barricades are up.

Great. Attitude. Telling.

We been out drinking coffee out back watching the planes of the elites arrive at what was NASA’s/space shuttles transport’s airport. Easy to keep up with who’s in town by the planes overhead. Certain people do not wish to brush elbows with commoners’ crush at the actual airports. It’s for security reasons…politicans/elected officials/those of certain status and their armed bodyguards are important.

The escorted entourages must be closing the one major road inbound like crazy. It’s OK. most drivers will simply think it’s the continuing construction closures. (Such a need for individual helicopters or a large multi-powered drone shuttle. Need is the mother…)

Houston has lots of large conventions and sport events. Congenially set up for mobs it.

Once a Summer Olympic committee and the city asked residents in multiple counties to plant certain colored flowers so people flying in would see “pretty welcome” from the planes.

Yeah. Yawn. Been here for long and you know these events bring mobs, streets being blocked, Important people bargain into other areas of town (resulting in barricading of even neighborhood streets…just try and get home) because they want to shop or eat at some local places and they spill over to our waterfront.

And then there’s the crowds of very beautiful women arriving from all over the country and populating nightclubs and sidewalks. They are voters, right? Really, really pretty voters that are very, very friendly. Hey, they are somebody’s daughters, so be nice….

Nice to see they are so interested in public debate….Pretty gets some in to nightclubs when others can’t so maybe the police will give them entrance into the forbidden zone. (That does sound ironically like a night club, doesn’t it? Life is party.)

The circus political spectacles provide some amusement. The groups seem strive to outdo each other.

There’s a mayor’s election coming up and the commercials from candidates from both parties are kicking into high grinching gear.

Wish the print on  ads was run by an editor or at least spell check. Samples of illiteracy does not inspire confidence. If it’s some weird suggestion by a National Political Party to appeal to the commoners, misguided.

Oh, that’s the way things are flying here. It’s fine. Visitors welcomed.

Just don’t injure the police dogs or horses – and pick up your own trash.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

Oh, feeling this post is not exactly up to standards. Been dealing with an emergency with Person’s Small Person’s involving blood and lots of it. Kid’s Ok but now feeling better – which is a whole different challenge…would probably be better if chocolate ice cream wasn’t offered as lunch, but maybe that’s just me. Trying to catch up on lesser important things as time permits….not that you readers are lesser, but yep, blood and lots of it. Thanks for understanding MIA.

Sad German Shepherd on rug (© image. Copyrighted, all rights reserved, no permissions granted)

Dog gone it, I’m not. I had my bags packed and transport shuttle reservations ready to go home. RC Cat is most perturbed…and getting a bit scary with The Paw over the gate and under the door. I should have been there!  Well, they wouldn’t let me in that school but maybe they will now – service dog? I will be glued to my Littles Person’s side to protect him. I’m brave, strong, soft, and crash landing suitable. Put me in coach…oh, OK. Once getting bumped into – accidentally – only accidentally – won’t make it worse. Sigh. There’s no place like home.No place like home. I keep clicking my heels. Now waiting for heal. (© image)

 

 

September 9, 2019 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Masking allusions

Young girl sitting. Marguerite Clark, SNow White production/American MAgazine, 1913 (USPD.pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

I wanted to be Jane Long for Halloween, but they shook their heads, tightened their lips, and said no. Ugh, to silly Snow White. Lizzie Borden or Typhoid Mary appropriate choice for society’s current mood and cultural dictates.(USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Oh, the drama! Halloween. Cultural appropriation.

Wait. Isn’t that what actors and actresses do as their full time job? Think about it. They become another.

So if acting is an honorable profession – and it involves assuming another’s speech, dressing, hair style, mannerisms – well, then, it must also be honorable and OK for ordinary people to do that, too, right?

So confusing. Baffled by the make-believe criticisms.

But then again, if performers are just what they were thought of being during the Middle Ages through the Elizabethan Era, well, you know…

“In Elizabethan England, the theatre was considered a hangout for unsavory characters such as prostitutes and thieves. Also, actors were considered very low at the time too and would not receive a Christian burial unless they denounced their trade on their death bed. This belief also goes back to the middle ages, with wandering theatre troupes and the types of people who were in them.” (source)

Not to mention performers may have helped spread fleas and diseases like the plague as they traveled. Coincidences of bad stuff and you were not a safe thing back then….witches, demons, spirits, and burnings, you know.

Oh, a pox on that.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery, it’s said.

So go ahead. Pick any Halloween costume showing who you respect and admire and enjoy.

Dare you.

Ironically, if clothes make the man or woman, when costumed, you become exactly as you appear. Tell critics that. Works for politicians.

Two boys in vintage clothing. 1924 Lobby card. HAl Roach Studios. Our Gang film (USPD.pub.date, artist life/commons.wikimedia.org)

Pick your poison, uh, personality to project.(USPD/commons.wikimedia.org)

Speaking of irony, have you noticed this weirdness: On line Amazon is massive, growing larger daily, and burning up all sales predictions, while across the line, The Amazon is burning up, crumbling, and disappearing.

If space aliens arrived million of years from now and found the word “Amazon” scattered everywhere, what possible conclusions would they draw from that?

  • “Well, was this some overlord plundering his area for materials and products, then moving those north to sell to the peasant masses there?”
  • “A primitive experiment by primitive people: Twins separated at birth, raised in different environments, producing opposites: good twin and evil twin?”

You got any better ideas or plausible explanation for that?

Spooky, loopy, and goofy. Image that.
Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge
Camille Paglia remembers “wearing my fabulous Halloween costumes as a Roman soldier, toreador or Napoleon.”
She’s interesting. How about her idea that banning drinking for those under 21 yrs is what’s keeping college students from learning the art of conversation? (Something’s halted that critical development.) First published in WSJ, but you can also read article here.
Actors on stage with audience. Projected "film" Emile Reynaud y el Teatro optico. 1891.(USPD. pub.date, artist life/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Image is projected and accepted by those happy to suspend belief. (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

September 5, 2019 / philosophermouseofthehedge

RC Cat: High noon. Everybody polka.

 

Cat sprawled on window seat (© image. Copyrighted, all rights reserved, NO permissions granted)

Is the podium prepared and the speaker system sound checked? (© image)

Move them aside.

Someone tell that Ella some “good doggie” compliment so her tail will go crazy and sweep the area. Gads,We  must chat with Staff concerning the abundance of dog hair tumbleweeds in the hall.

We should not be subjected to such.

It’s clinging. Get it off. Get it off. Remove the offending dog clump!

Get – what? No. It is no way an errant fluff from Our ruff. The nerve.

Now step aside and allow Us to address Our subjects.

Sit!

Do not be offended. We must speak to audience members in clearly understood terms.

If the training command fits, sit.

This is a public service announcement:

We know the past eternity few weeks have been absolute chaos populated with difficulties with the summer’s heat and visiting dog, so We feel it important for those in the Realm to participate in stress releasing activities especially one that might offer an opportunity for a certain dog’s leash to oddly become undone resulting in an escape.

 Sunday,  the Mid Main Micro Marathon is a lovely charity event benefitting Barrio Dogs.

As the route is only 0.26 miles, We feel certain it is well within the ability levels of even The Molly or Staff.

shoes on poster for marathon. (screenshot: FB Mid Main Micro Marathon)

“Take the run out of running” If that’s not motivational, what is?(FB: Mid Main Micro Marathon)

Children and dogs? Welcomed as they may be needed to assist adults during the grueling route all the way around the block.

Last year’s event featured refreshing route breaks such as: stretch of hopscotch, limbo, a fried pickle station, and a coffee break. Most popular were the dramatic mandated Slow Motion finish zone with “dramatic falls, carrying their friends over the finish line and crawling to the end.”

All that was before the end of the race reward of a free Oasis beer or soft drink at the Continental Club.

With that in mind, costume should be designed to be trip proof and dog tooth snagging free.

Warm up at noon with live music by Polish Pete & the Polka? I Hardly Know Her Band after the race.

Silence! The visual is about to begin.

More about the race’s story, the unique downtown area, and Marathon that has “grown bigger, but not longer” in article here

Some may feel is odd We support this dog benefit with such enthusiasm. But We are benevolent and caring to all creatures And if they raise enough money there will be fewer dogs around. It’s warm here. Animals are frisky year round.

Barrio Dogs, created in 2010,  works to educate residents on the importance of spaying and neutering pets, provides free services for low income families, with a goal of reducing stray dog problem in East Houston.

So in conclusion, We encourage everyone to pick up the pace and polka over to this event.

Medical team with patient (image YouTube Mid Main Micro Matathon)

Obviously the promotors are fully prepared. (Mid Main Micro Marathon)

Perhaps doing group readings of “The Gingerbread Man” with Our revised ending where that sassy cookie is not devoured by the fox, but makes like the “This Little Piggy Toe” and runs weeee, weee, weee all the way home as fast as she can. Hint. Hint. Too obvious? 

Despite rumors, Our story revision enactment casting Molly Malamute as the fox and Ella as the stale treat is not a proposed reality suggestion show.

We wish to thank you for your attention.

You may return to your regularly scheduled bon-bon eating activities and duties.

Fini.

You have Our permission to withdraw.

Two dogs on couch. German Shepherd and Malamute ignoring speaker. (© image. Copyrighted. NO permissions granted. All rights reserved)

“And we are supposed to get off the couch for what?” “Ignore the cat. She’ll leave in a minute.”(© image)

And don’t forget to leave the tribute of an open can of food in the doorway.

Oh, what? Yes, yes there is a turnstile at the foyer now.

Not a hinderance for exiting at all.

Simply a traffic control measure as so many seem to be so eager to go out and spread the news from Our audiences that We worried dunderheads were forgetting to leave expected tributes about the safety of those departing.

There now, yes, yes. One at a time. Remember to stack your thoughtful gifts of tuna or salmon neatly on the table before looking up and smiling at the cameras.

The cameras? Yes, yes, those are new also. Simply a modern way to make sure We have everyone so that Thank You notes may be sent.

Staff, please assist. Some are confused and trying to surge over the side rails.

New procedures are alway difficult for humans.

Have care, mon cheré. The cameras, you know.

Our paw has waved.

Adieu.

I am RC Cat and I approve this message.

 

September 4, 2019 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Ready. Aim. Smasho, Sugar

Fireworks over baseball field. (Image: Sugar Land FB/Photographer's Learning Studio)

If you smasho a drone does it light up? Now that would be entertaining. (Screenshot: Skeeter’s FB/Photographer’s Learning Studio)

Will anyone be able to resist?

Tagged “The Game of Drones”, a minor league baseball team is hinting at major league entertainment. 

  • Who will be the first batter to whack one?
  • Will baseball-drone contact be called a home run, a foul, or an out?

Everyone’s all a-buzz since the Sugar Land Skeeters announced their regular-season finale at Constellation Field on Sept 22 will be filmed entirely by three drones for broadcast on their YouTube channel.

It’s the first droning on attempt by a pro sports team.

Fans probably can leave the construction-style hard hats at home since iSky Drone Service feels confident that their 29 years of experience has prepared their FAA-certified pilots for sitting on the roof and playing ball. The drones supposedly will not be allowed into fair territory or over field-box sections at any time.

Hackers and kids with slingshots are warming up…

Rainbow over Baseball field. (Image: Screenshot Skeeter's FB page)

If planes have runway lights to guide them, could a rainbow possibly act like target guides for drone hunters? (Skeeter’s FB page)

Sounds Star War worthy, but will it change the game?

Up until recently Constellation Field was a bit of a throwback to simple times: outdoors, family-oriented with a playground, under the stars …with bugs and weather.

Not a bunch of technology intruding. An escape.

Just the plain game. Fans close enough to actually see and yell directly at the players and action.

Players actually stay in people’s homes during the season.

Double rainbow over minor league Skeeter's baseball field (Image: screenshot Skeeter's FB page)

Double your viewing pleasure: Baseball close enough to actually see, weather to add to the spontaneity. Oh, yeah, real game in front, game images on screens. (Image screenshot Skeeter’s FB page)

Now, the Skeeters are going Hollywood and will “occasionally” show drone broadcast footage on the centerfield scoreboard.

Kinda like what has become a circus inside the NFL stadiums which are so large the contestants look like ants?

Skeeters’ President Christopher Hill said, “We’ll be able to showcase beautiful Constellation Field and the surrounding Sugar Land community in ways that we’ve never done before.” Sounds like a major wonder!

You also watch at home: Skeeters official YouTube channel. No better way to get that ole baseball and Boys of Summer feeling! (Can big time commercial barrages be far behind? Sigh.)

Ever heard “Better is the enemy of good”? “Opening a can of worms”? “Can’t put the genie back in the bottle”? “Pandora’s box”?

Hope they don’t fly off from, what made the Skeeters and Constellation Field so cool.

Take me out to the old ball game.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

  • Related post about the Skeeters: “Play ball and move it.” (The Skeeter’s bat dog, Kuvo takes the field. And the robot umpire calls balls.)
Horseshoe on fence at Constellation baseball stadium. (Sugar Land Skeeter's TImeline FB posts)

No, not the lost and found. Hung there to give the team luck. Upside down so the luck doesn’t run out. You know horses- those 4 legged, expensive, live lawn ornaments? How much luck can it have if the horse lost it, ran off without it, and it ended up here? Oh, please. It’s just an archaic, old fashioned thing to make you smile.. (Sugar Land Skeeter’s TImeline FB posts)

 

September 3, 2019 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Letter from Hong Kong

Fire in the sky. Sunset. (© image: copyrighted, NO permissions granted, All rights reserved)

Fire in the sky. Squint and you can see the racing horse. (© image)

The next time you shift into Outrage Mode over someone having 6 items too many in the grocery store express line, or that guy got the last chicken sandwich, get some perspective on what real problems – what serious trouble is.

A note from an author living on Lantau, a Hong Kong Island.

“Greetings from Hong Kong,

Yes, I made it back despite having two flights canceled on me because of the current protests in the city.

It’s surreal being back in the city that has been my home for so many years. It’s not the same city I left three months ago.

People are living in a climate of fear, afraid to talk about what is happening in case it is used against them. People have been sacked from their jobs for making comments on Social Media, arrested and searched for wearing black t-shirts (the preferred color for the protests), or even worse attacked by iron-rod and machete-wielding Triad thugs. Bizarrely It’s like something I’ve made up for one of my books.

I don’t know where it will all lead. It’s unlikely that the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) will back down, but for many of the protestors it’s “do or die.”

Friends with foreign passports consider the protests an inconvenience and make comments like “they are unemployed or students with nothing better to do. They should get a life.”

But that’s just what they are fighting for. A life. The people don’t want independence, they want the “One Country, two systems,” that was promised to them back in 1997. For many, they have no other option. They can’t leave, they can’t afford a home in one of the worlds most expensive cities, and a future with no freedom of speech and a lack of human rights is bleak. In a way, the CCP has already won. People are already self-censoring themselves and shutting down social media accounts for fear of being prosecuted. It’s crazy that in what is supposed to be a free society that we are all afraid of what to say! It’s very sad.

The stone-throwing and the blocking of roads have been getting most of the press, but there have been incredible examples of the beauty of humanity. I joined two million peaceful men, women, and children as we marched across Hong Kong Island. No violence, no looting, not even any pushing in the crowds. People were happy and kind, sharing food, water, and smiles. I joined hands with 200,000 people as we made 60 km of human chains across Hong Kong and Kowloon. I was proud to be a part of something so uplifting and beautiful, but the end result was silence from the Government.

I fear though that this weekend will descend into chaos. In the space of the last twenty-four hours, the Government has banned a march on Saturday, arrested two pro-democracy leaders, and two more have been beaten up by masked thugs.

I am actually leaving Hong Kong soon, not because of what is happening, but because I plan to travel and relocate to somewhere with a lower cost of living. I’m not a best-selling author (yet) and Hong Kong living costs are ridiculous. But I feel guilty. I feel I am leaving the city at an important time as if I am betraying the city that has given me so many wonderful memories and has been my home for many years when there are people much braver than I prepared to sacrifice everything in the hope of a better future.

So it’s with a heavy heart that I prepare to depart. My wife and I are selling off our furniture, packing items we want to keep, and finally doing all those things we wanted to do in Hong Kong but have been putting off to another day…”

Postcard of Waterfront. 1928 Hong Kong from the harbour (released to PD Law of Hong Kong/pub.date, artist life/Commons.wikimedia.org)

1928 Postcard of Hong Kong waterfront from the harbour. (PD released by Law of Hong Kong/Commons.wikimedia.org)

(And he continues with his progress with Book 5 and plans for Book 6. Followed by his wavering over moving his book series from Apple and Kobo to Kindle Unlimited/Amazon to possibly increase sales.)

Then he closes with:

“Well, that’s it from me this time. It’s been a bit of a rant, I know, but it feels good to get things off my chest.”

Our mailing address is:

Mark David Abbott – Author

Discovery Bay

Lantau Island

Hong Kong

Links to his books:

Vengeance – John Hayes #1
A Million Reasons – John Hayes #2
A New Beginning – John Hayes #3
No Escape – John Hayes #4

Postcard of Marble Hall (aka Admiralty House) in Hong Kong. 1935 (PD released by Law of Hong Kong/pub.date/artist life/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Postcard of Marble Hall (aka Admiralty House) in 1935 Hong Kong.(PD released by Law of Hong Kong/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Knowing the overwhelming odds, yet choosing to stand up to a government known for their bad record of human rights is at a whole different level of difficulty than being cut off in traffic, being the target of idiotic name calling, or experiencing “discomfort” because a neighbor wears a red hat while you wear a pink one.

Being in the streets as a Hong Kong protestor where your life and that of your family may be destroyed if you are identified isn’t quite comparable to people elsewhere who fling anonymous flame-outs across social media, join online petitions, or directs others to be loud, rude, and impolite if someone dares to disagree with them.

The internet: their denouncer and their only protection. 

Now what were you complaining about?

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

The whole world is watching (everything) and it’s (all) in who’s hands?

“Silicon Valley’s Chinese-style social credit system” “In China, scoring citizen’s behavior is official government policy. U.S. companies are increasingly doing something similar, outside the law…”

(Data doing damage. Source: Fast Company article 8/26/19)

sunset with palm tree and bridge lamp (© image: copyrighted, all rights reserved, NO permissions granted)

And darkness descends. The world grows colder. Oh, OK. Maybe by Halloween. Down to 87F tonight. (© image)

September 1, 2019 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Refreshing. Fair warning.

Knock. Knock

Who’s there?

Wanda

Wanda who?

Wanda who thunk this up.

Woman taking bath in wash tub of water. Mae Murry. Universal Films, 1919. (USPD. pub.date, artist life/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Gettin’ all gussied up for the big day. (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

September is hot hot hot off the line getting ready for Big Tex and the State Fair next month.

Round up the big bucks – and the little ones ready for the fair food and the rides…Not necessarily in that order especially in the heat set on October roast. (As it’s beyond summer, just think of the sweltering like a heat beyond – like Beyond Meat.)

I know anticipating the delights and wonders of this year’s State Fair cuisine has you are on the edge of your seat (Sorry about that. Should have warned you that metal chairs here are still scorching until after Halloween).

Borden’s Dairy Ready to milk the moove of parents warted into submission wanting the exclusive best for their kids with three wacky fair-inspired flavored milks: Banana Taffy, Blueberry Cobbler and Cotton Candy.

The three limited edition flavors, promotionally priced at $1.00 for 16-oz, will be available in Dallas and Houston’s Kroger stores and in a few stores in Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama.

“Quick, Honey, go grab them. We’ll make a fortune on the milk blackmarket/Ebay once parents are desperate to stop the whining please their children after they been hooked the fair.”

You know that will happen. Consider the recent long lines for chicken sandwiches and Beyond Chicken’s debut. If it’s “special” and “Limited supply”, cha-ching to those who heed the early word.

milk bottles. Limited edition State Fair inspired flavors. (Bordendairy.com image)

Limited edition State Fair inspired flavors won the vote this summer on social media. You can vote your say at the fair. (Bordendairy.com)

If you are cowed by the thought of sugar or artificial coloring (Off-colored, joking or not), you can still steer the kiddies the right direction by letting them meet and greet Elsie, the Cow who will be mingling near the Chevrolet Park Plaza at the fair. (Geesch. Is Chevy hoping to herd some good vibes their direction by hosting the spokes-cow?)

Elsie first appeared at the fair in 1946. Please no eco/political statements around her. She’s still beaming after being recognized as one of the top 10 advertising icons of the 20th century.

And she’s thrilled to be so close to the company’s home office in Dallas. (But too much of a celebrity to be stashed in the Dairy Discovery Zone)

Cows aside, a State Fair isn’t a state fair without unique eats.

Not the time for the big reveal of the 2019 winners of the Big Tex Choice Awards, but if you’re one of those people who like to drool over food ahead of time feel confident there’s fair food perfect for you. Check out the edible offerings here.

The list even has a map to food locations because when you want Bacon Brittle, Coconut Crab Sliders, Corn Dog Ale (complete with mustard on the rim), pickle juice Kool-Aid® Sangria, or Orange Julia’s Beermosa, you don’t want to wander aimlessly around…especially if you’ve been sipping’ some of those last three…which may be a requirement for fair tours.

Not knocking it.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

Man and woman in vintage dress. 1919. Universal Film promo/Mae Murray (USPD.pub.date, artist life/Commons.wikimedia.org)

“What? Only had a couple of Pixy Stix® cherry sherbet champagnes sipped through a large Pixy Stix® straw with powdered candy around the rim. Sweet, right? Why are there three of you?” (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

 

 

 

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