Not what it seems

“Yes, periscope, I mean, ears up. Ah, Staff prefers music rather than the business channel. Much more soothing. All they talk about is stock going up and down and I worry all those herding dogs must be getting exhausted. What type of music? Classical pieces by German composers, naturally. Staff is well-trained.” (Image © )

Dear Molly Malamute,

Don’t worry, not hiding.

Although we received that communique from RC Cat, there’s no truth to the rumor that we’re concerned about angry cat attack. She can’t work the front door lever like I can. But that demand letter was pretty cheeky. Here’s a part:

“…although said canines exited the area before the Three Day Fishy Stink Clause was enacted, there has been serious breach of trust. We never approved – or would have allowed – poaching of Staff. We demand Our Staff be released and returned immediately…”

Sigh. We tend to agree with Staff-on-loan that RC is of the Main Loon Cat breed.

She’s either been rollin’ with the mousies in too much catnip or needs the hair plucked out of her ears. She always hears things her own way.

Your reports of her stomping around yowling “treason” is quite humorous – but I advise staying clear of those Paws of Fury at this time.

RC Cat of the Realm, “Train your own. This one is Ours.” (image ©)

More exerts from The Letter:

“…any negotiations concerning loan of Staff was to be differed to a later time as We were too busy stuffing our face with other pressing duties of The Realm….We cannot imagine why you need substitute Staff just because yours is ill. Probably faking it, in Our opinion. You and your sidekick Ella Enchanted, should be able to manage. Yes, Yes, We understand the fairly new addition of  The Little Person with Great Demands belonging to your Person seems to be very needy. If Ella can learn to “sit’ and “stay” that high maintenance little one should be able to also. Honestly, what is wrong with using a crate for him? If crates are good enough for canines, why not this small human? He would just need a little one! We give permission to borrow Our traveling crate. There. Problem solved…. You, German, are quite good at burying, so a litter box and you monitoring that facility should be sufficient for keeping the stinky down. No need for Staff to be there at all…. 

Such attitude, right?

Cats are such advocates of early Boxing of Children rather than letting them free range.

Ella and I are quite excited that Little Person is up and moving on all fours now. Copying us, no doubt. Yes, we are proud to be models of activities.

But he still needs some guidance that water bowls are not splash pads and our food is not for throwing.

I are quite grateful Staff could temporarily visit until Little Person’s Day Keeper was well.

“Oh, my. He’s headed towards the fireplace. Will Staff intercept or will I have to leap to the rescue? Oh, whew. Worry dogs me constantly.”(image©)

Without help, I must be constantly vigilant and it is exhausting.

As the RC Canine of this Realm I must stay far enough away to let The Little Person room to safely explore, yet close enough to intercept Ella who wants to lick his face clean…here I must agree with RC Cat. Ella Enchanted may proclaim she is helping Little Person with personal appearance awareness, when actually she simply want a taste of how the other half eats. I fear Ella is too wild an influence at this point. She keeps grinning and muttering “Raised by wolves…”

The other day I was so tired and nervous I found the handle of a small riding toy in my mouth. Do not worry. I caught myself quickly – but once addicted to chewing, it is a constant battle to fight.

“Be strong, German. Chewing addiction has bad consequences…like having no soft bed because you gutted it. Hey, only 4 of them. I was young and foolish!” (Image ©)

Borrowed Staff allows relinquishing of constant guardianship.

We all welcome nap time..which seems to rapidly be diminishing.

What luck Winter is coming! Hopefully I shall be able to escape return to outdoor patrol in cooler weather.

In closing, I wish to again thank you and your Realm for allowing us a doggy sleepover.

This week enjoy snuggling on the couch with your Staff who is in bad need of resting up now, so wipe your own feet when coming inside, OK?

Please talk RC Cat out of thrashing Staff with those punishing paws. I must remember to show you how to open the front for with that lever so the you can encourage RC Cat to explore the Outer Realm when she becomes totally annoying. Squirrels could teach her a thing or two…Still proud how you picked up that counter surfing trick so quickly…you are wise to practice when Staff is not in the room.

Yours in fur,

The German.

Peace for paws

(Confused? No serious German Shepherd would leave you that way: Meet The German, Ella Enchanted, The Molly, and RC Cat here. More about the Boxing of the Children here and here.)

 

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