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June 11, 2013 / philosophermouseofthehedge

End of Slumber! HRH celebrates.

Startling! A jolt to awareness.

Then We had to chuckle under Our royal whiskers.

How could We have neglected to notice?

1913 Hans Andersen's  What disturbs Our royal repose? (Fairy Tale.London:Constable/NY public library/ Andersen 1805-1875:Willam Heathe Robinson 1872-1944, ill./US public domain: expired copyright/publication date/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

What disturbs Our royal repose?
(1913 Hans Andersen’s Fairy Tale.London:Constable/NY public library/ Andersen 1805-1875:William Heath Robinson 1872-1944, ill./US public domain: expired copyright/publication date/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

It was those bobbing heads over the fence – smack in the middle of Our window view.

Up and down. Up and down.

Furry mops appearing erratically.

At first We thought it was a squirrel with a severe case of hiccups.

Bobbing jumpers. (Mathew Ingram/Flickr 2007/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

Little furry bobbing jumpers.
(Mathew Ingram/Flickr 2007/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

A careful second glance –

We, as RC Cat of the Realm, cannot jump to conclusions.

High furniture perches, yes.

Conclusions, no.

At second glance, We realized it was hicks up children belonging to the Staff of the neighboring realm.

It’s the end of Slumber. 

HRH RC Cat.

HRH RC Cat. What? We are awake now. What is it that you request?

During the majority of the year, offspring of Staff are shuttled off to slumber in Training Boxes.

So convenient for Us.

Planed consideration?

Doubtful.

Staff species doesn’t always anticipate Our needs or plan ahead.

Consider the frantic rush as they discover a lack of fresh litter.

We are forced to drop reminders in their path.

The Molly's delightful training condo. (Do not look inside - she's something of a slob.

The Molly’s delightful training box. (Do not look inside. She’s something of a slob. Stuffing everywhere except in the toys.)

The children’s Big Box Training Centers are obviously designed to prepare them for their lot in life.

Just like young dogs until they are battered by Our Paws of Fury and surrender to Our will  learn to follow the rules of their Realms.

And learn to sit down and shut-up

We appreciate the Big Box Training Centers are not close by.

Whining and door rattling constantly would be irritating beyond tolerance disturbing.

Perhaps some continuous dull noise encourages the young ones to slumber until they can control themselves?

Slumber Season Box for Offspring (Washington school, Grand Forks, N.D./US public domain by Glorioussandwich/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

Big Box Training Center used during Slumber Season.
(Washington school, Grand Forks, N.D./US public domain by Glorioussandwich/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

The offspring seem to be provided with backpacks of items each morning to soothe them in their Training Boxes.

As the children get older and have resigned themselves to total boredom at the whim of others  more able to control themselves, We have noticed the heavy bundles on their backs disappear.

A good sign that their  spirit is broken and We have bent them to Our will brains and thought processes have matured.

Each year, after long Slumber Box Training sessions, the youngsters are unleashed.

Sent home for Demonstration Season, a trial period.

Yes having them around is a real trial. Period

To show their parents and their realms what knowledge has been acquired.

It’s a sham! What is normally demonstrated is the need for more training.

Foolish parents naively accepting this poor excuse for unboxing!

(1913 Hans Andersen's fairy tale.Andersen 1805-1875, W.H. Heath 1872-1944, ill./ US public domain: expired copyright/publication date/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

Do they look like learning is complete?
(1913 Hans Andersen’s fairy tale.Andersen 1805-1875, W.H. Heath 1872-1944, ill./US public domain: expired copyright/publication date/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

Oddly, neighborhood Staff has wailed about keeping offspring happy during their off-leash time.

Shouldn’t the young creatures be eager to demonstrate their abilities?

We have always felt busy hands are happy hands and intend to suggest this.

There is plenty to be done in the Realm.

The Molly is leaving numerous hair tumbleweeds.

The Molly is leaving grubby mouthed toys everywhere.

(If she is trying for a toy exchange for one of Our mousies, she must forget that. Redirection required.Or we shall take this into Our own paws and jaws)

The Molly is constantly in front of Us begging for a kind word or any sign of recognition to play.

Children and dogs - so much in common. Both can be dressed up. Both can learn to sit. (Royal Children of Charles I 1637. van Dyck 1599-1641. English Royal Collection/US public domain: photo reprod of PD art/artist life+100/ Commos.wikimedi.org)

Children and dogs: so much in common. Both can be dressed up. Both can learn to sit. Both have been known to drool.
(Royal Children of Charles I 1637. van Dyck 1599-1641.English Royal Collection/US public domain: photo reprod of PD art/artist life+100/ Commos.wikimedi.org)

Perhaps the children can take the Molly outside and both can practice sitting still and quiet.

Yes, still and quiet outside.

We approve using that recently purchased large watering hole as a training location – outdoors.

These young ones and the Molly have much in common.

They can share insights…out of Our sight.

Hey, Molly here. Interested in sharing a bite of window sill?

Hey, Molly here. Interested in sharing a bite of window sill?

We must also speak with Staff concerning this off-leash Demonstration Season

Offsprings’ hands must be washed. We dislike sticky fur and odd smells when being adored.

Offspring must be reminded We choose seating and sit before all others. And if We abruptly decide on a different location, the desired seating must be relinquished immediately.

Offspring must offer all bowls and snacks for Our approval. Failure to hold the bowl low enough for Our easy access will result in annoyed wild paw swiping and snack spills as We claim what is Ours.

Observe: 1916. "The Earl of Cattenborough is pleased to partake in a potato." Many Realm Traditions are shown in art.  (Europa's Fairy book:Putnams's sons/NYC public library/J. Jacobs/ JD Batten /US public domain:expired copyright/publication date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Observe: 1916.”The Earl of Cattenborough is pleased to partake in a potato.” Many Realm Traditions are portrayed in art. Perhaps We should create an instructional manual for Staff’s children.
(Europa’s Fairy book:Putnam’s/NYC public library/J. Jacobs/ JD Batten /US public domain:expired copyright/publication date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

So We wish to join Staff in their joy at the end of another successful Slumber Box Season and warn Staff they had better keep their little monsters under control.

We look forward to these weeks passing quickly viewing the accomplishments of Staff’s young and being entertained by their clever antics.

We must request Staff locate gates for doorways.

Very tall gates. Full door sized ones.

With childproof latches.

Adieu.

This audience is now at an end.

We approve of your rapt attention and offer a soft cheek pat as a reward.

That cheek has been washed recently, yes? Our paw seems sticky.

Our paw is waving!

Dismissed. Out of Our presence, Dunderhead, until you learn basic hygiene.

Fini.

And don’t forget to leave an open can of food in the doorway as tribute.

I am RC Cat and I approve this message.

Click sidebar tag ”RC Cat” to visit with RC and her Realm.

How insulting. Do I look anything at all like a trampoline gymnast? (D.GordonE. Robertson/Commons.wikimedia.og)

How insulting. Do I look anything at all like a trampoline gymnast?
(D.GordonE. Robertson/Commons.wikimedia.og)

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24 Comments

  1. Ally Bean / Jun 11 2013 5:03 pm

    So school’s out, eh? Poor HRH. There will be no calm in the realm until the kids are trapped and taken back to the Big Box Training Center. And even then, there’s still The Molly to deal with. It’s a miracle that HRH does as much as she does, considering…

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 11 2013 8:58 pm

      RC Cat: “We are so appreciative to have double paned windows so watching the neighboring realm’s staff’s children at play is amusing: like watching TV with the sound off. Great fun! We are so encouraged by your astute observations. A friendly paw wave sent!”

      Like

  2. katecrimmins / Jun 11 2013 5:33 pm

    Great idea to pair offspring with the Molly. Kill two birds with one stone so to speak.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 11 2013 9:04 pm

      RC Cat: “Staff complains about the heat and humidity. We do not. Those conditions make both man and beast so sleepy. And the realm remains calm and quiet…we just lounge in out of the way places during periods of early morning and evening frantic activity. Birds, as you say, are useful distractions after dawn. We welcome your enthusiasm. A sedate summer paw wave salute!

      Like

  3. Madame Weebles / Jun 11 2013 11:10 pm

    RC Cat’s suffering never ends. It’s heartbreaking. The Weeblettes extend their sympathies, and cordially invite RC Cat to visit if the small humans become too unruly or sticky.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 12 2013 6:28 pm

      RC Cat: “We so appreciate your kind offer for shelter within your realm. Stickiness is so unpleasant. We shall warn staff of Our contingency plan – and that they would, of course, be denied Our benevolence for an undetermined period. Yes. Yes. That should prod them into action. We extend a paw in friendship..you may pat it gently if hands are clean…briefly pat…sweaty is also annoying -even among friends. Ah? Prefer a stately paw wave – as you wish. Again, Our thanks.”

      Like

  4. dogear6 / Jun 12 2013 2:27 am

    The beagle says “Molly, if RC gets on your nerves too much with her prima donna attitude, come by and visit me. We can hide stinky rawhide bones in the yard together. And remember that while sticky hands are irritating rubbed in your fur, they are also worth licking clean before Mom finds out.”

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 12 2013 6:31 pm

      Molly: (bouncing) “Big woof! Rawhide bones are my favorites – it’s such fun to leave hard bits and pieces in the hall at night. Staff jumps around so funny! Dogs rule-ish…we say that quietly around here. Thanks for boxing up that invitation for delivery here!”

      Like

  5. reneejohnsonwrites.com / Jun 12 2013 10:54 am

    I have every confidence that the Queen will defend her regency, even if that means napping under the sofa til September.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 12 2013 6:35 pm

      RC Cat: ” We wish those creatures would stop bobbing up and down in their realm – it confuses Us briefly when we are unwinding from meditative periods. We have sent word that their splashing the Molly over the fence with pool water is quite acceptable. The Molly loves to chase water. A cheery paw wave for you kind remarks and understanding.”

      Like

  6. PiedType / Jun 12 2013 4:48 pm

    Training Boxes. ROFL! My deepest sympathies to HRH as she suffers through yet another Demonstration Season.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 12 2013 6:41 pm

      RC Cat:”An evolutionary necessity, those training boxes. We do not understand why Staff is not more stressed over lack of progress after long Training Box periods. Perhaps the older ones should also be required to carry heavy items on their backs? It is not Our concern, but someone should be concerned. We gratefully accept your sympathetic remarks. Can you see the paw waving? There seems to be smoke rising obscuring clear view of your realm. We assure you the paw is waving – enthusiastically.”

      Like

  7. pegoleg / Jun 12 2013 10:13 pm

    Her Highness is a benevolent dictator – all she asks is her due.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 12 2013 11:23 pm

      RC Cat: “Oh, how delightful. We are so please someone has finally recognized Our great skill at dictation. It’s true We are kind enough to talk slowly so Staff doesn’t have to struggle with writing Our thoughts. Amazingly you have also noted We must ask repeatedly for Our to do lists. But patience is a kindness, too. A cheery paw wave for your astute observations.”

      Like

  8. jmmcdowell / Jun 12 2013 11:03 pm

    Ah, yes, Slumber will be over at the end of this week in our Realm. Perhaps the Slumber Box season should be extended another month or two for additional training? It’s my understanding that US children lag behind their peers in many other countries….

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 12 2013 11:36 pm

      RC Cat: “We are baffled with what passes for small person training. Staff has mentioned some Training Boxes have sent lists of reading to be accomplished before next Slumber. We have decided to recommend to other realm that their staff be allowed reading periods to sit and read along side of their young. People learn best by observing. And the world is available to all in books….perhaps better than sitting in Training Boxes.
      We award a soft cheek pat for your evaluation and concern of the Slumber situation.”

      Like

  9. The Hook / Jun 13 2013 6:45 pm

    “At first We thought it was a squirrel with a severe case of hiccups.”
    Hilarious!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 15 2013 2:46 pm

      Right now the squirrels are about the only thing with energy outdoors. So hot. Hope things are cool, in all regards, there.

      Like

  10. shoreacres / Jun 14 2013 2:40 am

    But don’t forget – for those condemned to live out their days as humans, at least the traffic has eased up!

    (Schools as training boxes may be your most hilarious analogy ever!)

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 15 2013 2:57 pm

      RC Cat: “As the twig is bent so the tree grows….and We wish the trees would hurry and provide a bit more shade….maybe the offspring would find coolness there rather than in the concrete lake. We award one languishing paw wave for your kindness – and We are gracious with that in all this heat.”

      Like

  11. EllaDee / Jun 14 2013 5:22 am

    HRH RC Cat, I must say your summer portrait is lovely, elegant… as opposed to Molly’s somewhat relaxed pose… No doubt the children will benefit from the influence of one so stylish and composed as yourself. It is only fitting you are a role model. Otherwise they will not learn, such things aren’t taught in the Training Boxes. Keep an eye on that squirrel…

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 15 2013 3:09 pm

      RC Cat: “Ah, Princess EllaDee, We have considered your wise words and shall make a point to sit in the window so the children can have a role model. Such an excellent idea – especially since the window is so soundproof – We will not be able to hear their sobs as they realize how far they have to go. Yes, Yes. Excellent. A soft cheek pat for your useful suggestion!”

      Like

  12. jannatwrites / Jun 23 2013 4:17 pm

    Hehe, yep, summertime really is the end of kitty slumber time 🙂 Our cats can sympathize with RC Cat…kids are home all time to harass, I mean cuddle them. When’s a cat to nap?? Don’t worry, RC cat…kids will go to their training boxes soon enough. You’ll still have Molly, though 🙂

    Like

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