Cowabungle

“Pink slip? No, I think it’s beige. Oh, but if my job is cut, how will I pay for sequins and costuming?” (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Once they thought as long as there were infants and small children, they were safe. 

But no.

Job security vanishing like the sweet Spring clover.

It was bad enough when the Davos elites turned up their noses and gave them a thumbs down.

Haughtily citing climate concerns and pushing their green agenda  

(Weird as these in the climate crosshairs clearly LOVE green – to eat and to earn.)

Being stoic, serious, and pragmatically practical, the cows noted the transformation success of those once considered simply common transportation: horses. 

Horses pivoted and became pampered lawn ornaments – with a few horse athletes still around for races, rodeos, or horse shows.

Of course, there are always some equines who stable with anachronistic throwbacks and smugly end up as nostalgic features on vintage-style farms or ranches. Those horses boldly pretending they can outperform 4 wheeled vehicles or drones.

Able to tolerate heat, rain, even winter, but just not having the temperament to be a STR host. (USPD/Commomns.wikimedia.org)

COVID provided a perfect time for cows to plod towards an alternative occupation: Cow cuddling!

A health oriented career path frequently touted as one of the best routes to avoid being replaced by AI or computers!

For a while, they made hay while the sun shined.

“Ah, the delights of finally having leisure time.” (Dan reynolds/English-language wikipedia/Commons.wikimedia.org)

But once again, herded into despair by rumors and fear peddlers.

Now “authorities are cautioning humans not too get too close or too friendly with cows because of Avian/Bird Flu potential.

Sounds like cows rubbed someone the wrong way.

To topple even more cows, their milk, previously considered part of a healthy diet, is scrutinized as  possibly “dangerous”.

If it’s not one thing it’s another.

“Don’t threaten me with those horns. Get out and take that pail of poison with you! Don’t make me dog you! (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

What’s a cow to do?  

(Maybe a distracted cow stepped on the wrong human foot in another life? Sigh. Not all humans would consider that a sign of favor. )

Dripping green cud, many cow herds are attempting to show solidarity with activists.

Always a thoughtful chewing of brainstorming activity. (Cows were standing with “green” long before many people got up to speed.)

But FYI, might be a good idea to shudder off any birds sitting on your cows backs for a while.

I doubt anyone catches your demonstration of tolerance, getting along for the benefit of both, or acceptance of diversity.

These days people are quick to jump to conclusions like: “those who lie down with featherheads get up with the taint of close association”.

A star was born: “Don’t worry, Elsie. We’ll find a way to survive. Your dad is as strong as any bull. You’re pretty enough to be featured in a marketing campaign. Now how about practicing your cow bell?” (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Don’t fence them in.

Like everyone else, cows are ready to mooove on.

Got any ideas of what a cow could do?  

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

Is that Hollywood calling?

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