Sir Tif Iza Cation: Adhere to Rules of the Realm
This is an affront.
An insult to Our person and Our Realm.
While We graciously welcome those of good spirits and clean paws who wish to honor Us with gifts and attention, Our Realm is small and limited in resources.
It has come to Our ears because We were snooping on staff that visa violations may have occurred and that the Molly may be involved.
Mentions of an unexpected arrival have been overheard.
We must strong object to staff allowing the Molly to invite strangers into the Realm without permission.
Drawbridge. (Image: Diether/Commons.wikimedia.org)
While the Molly has been charming to watch in her crate at night, We are still determining what titles and responsibilities she will be entrusted with.
Obviously then, there have been no directives allowing the Molly to entertain friends, family, or acquaintances.
That is simply and plainly stated, yes?
Understandable, no?
Only the RC makes the decision who is allowed into the Realm, when entry is permitted, and the proper length of the visit. We have overlooked the sudden unannounced arrival of the Molly.
We wish staff to locate this Sir Tiff Iza Cation that the Molly has dragged home.
He shall be confronted.
A titled individual should realize a formal presentation to the RC of the Realm is imperative upon arrival.
Such a breach of protocol.
Unbecoming of a titled noble.
And a noble what?
We are appalled to admit We have not even be informed as to Sir Tiff’s species.
This causes great difficulty for Us in preparation for an audience of this Sir Tif Iza Cation.
And we worry about Our mousies if this Tif is a cat.
We require his references.
Does staff feel that just any creature is allowed to enter Our Realm?
Well?
We are waiting a response!
Silence! There is not appropriate response for this laxness.
Seek out Sir Tif and grab him by the undoubtedly flea-bitten neck and pitch him at Our feet and escort him into Our presence so we may discuss his irrational behavior.
We greatly fear the Molly, being young and impressionable, has fallen under his spell.
He may have papers – but those may be of questionable value.
He could have framed his intentions carefully.
This Sir Tif could simply be a hanger-oner.
Flourishes can cover many flaws. Words can be deceptive.
It is Our heavy duty to protect Our naive subjects so they do not experience broken dreams: shattered like glass.
To protect against those who flatly want to stick around and hang over Our heads.
Thus, We insist staff pick up Sir Tif Iza Cation – even if he is speechless.
He shall bend to Our will and obey the laws of this Realm or face the Our Fearsome Paws of Fury.
But, out of graciousness and benevolence, if this is revealed to be a humorous misunderstanding, We shall forgive Sir Tif if several high quality mousies are presented.
Nothing like a little bribe.
Staff now clear on directives, no?
We shall stomp off in great annoyance depart to prepare for Sir Tif Iza Cation’s audience drooling in anticipation of foreign mousies.
This Sir Tif Iza Cation sounds Spanish, no?
Could he be in league with that Cat Ah Pilar? Now there’s a worry.
We also have concern with Sir Tif’s family name: that “Cation”.
We shall reserve judgement, but do hope Sir Tif is not closely related to that other “Cation” clan.
That one difficult mob led by that ill-bred Alter character.
Alter Cation was so disruptive.
Banned from the Realm sight unseen – The rumors were enough.
Obviously the Realm’s rules are based on real experiences.
Regulations exist for good reason.
Now, We depart in to zone out with some mousies prepare a calm mind to deal with one foolish enough to disregard Our will.
Adieu.
Our paw has waved.
You may go about your duties.
Remember there’s soft cheek pat reward for the one who locate Sir Tif Iza Cation and escorts him before us.
If we are pleased, there is always the possibility of two cheek pats.
But don’t count on it dunderheads. You were derelict in your duties and let him sneak in
Yes. Yes. Scurry to the task.
You have Our permission to withdraw.
So eager to please Us – as is fitting.
And don’t forget to leave an open can of food in the doorway as tribute.
I am RC Cat and I approve this message.
Related posts:
“Certified Free Spirit”
Explains Sir Tif Iza Cation’s appearance – as much as is possible with RC.
“No Invitation, Cat Ah Pilar”
RC is vigilant against possible invasion by Cat Ah Pilar.
“Your Audience Granted. (Quickly now)”.
RC first allows visitors into the Realm.
“And You Are Here, Why?”
Rumpy Dog interviews RC Cat. The saga begins.
Click sidebar tag ”RC Cat” for more of RC Cat’s correspondences and visit her Realm.
Hey, anyone monitoring just how many mousies RC is hitting a day? Just curious.
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Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge 
Overseeing hapless humans is no easy task.
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RC Cat: “Oh. my dear, you always understand. Cheery wave paw in gratitude.”
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Raise the drawbridge!
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Staff: “Don’t tell RC, but the drawbridge hasn’t been completed – when she looks out the window she sees a picture we pasted on the outside frame. It keeps her happy -uh,less demanding, anyway. Works so far….you won’t tell, right? Thanks for crossing over to chat”
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I’m looking for my RC decoder ring right now. I think Molly might have eaten it…. 😉
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Oh! Now I get it. Dixie explained it to me!
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RC Cat: “We are so pleased Dixie takes time to educate her staff. High paw waves from across the water”
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It’s probably in that training treat bag that’s missing…she’ll work for food…
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It’s not easy being royal sometimes.
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RC Cat: “We are so grateful for your astute observation. Most only see the parties, jewels, and stacks of fine mousies – never do they acknowledge the broken claws…the dust acquired while brushing cat tumbleweeds under furniture. We award a soft cheek pat for your kindness.”
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Royalty’s work is never done …
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RC Cat: “All we ask is a spare moment now and then to sun bathe -yet inept staff makes it so difficult! We approve of your intelligent remarks.”
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If you need back up handling this “Cation” fellow, perhaps we could loan you Brother Henry!
– Brother Oliver
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RC Cat: “Brother Oliver, We are grateful for your offer to assist Us. The Realm is quiet at the moment, but perhaps a mutual defense treaty in the future? We do purr encouragement to Otis and appreciate all the brothers efforts to maintain order in your realm.”
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But Molly is so very clever, she does deserve a visit and perhaps a permanent stay in a small corner of the realm from Sir Tiff.
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RC Cat: “We delight in your assessment of the Molly. She is much more respectful of Us than that German. Now if she would only listen to Our requests to acquire the skill of opening food cans. Sigh. We send a cheery wave to brighten your day.”
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If I were RC I’d be more worried about Va from the Cation clan than Alter. Alter is a short lived sort of fellow, but Va can mean only one thing for a kitty cat: time to be boarded somewhere inside a metal cage with mediocre dry food and lots of other noisy cats! Just saying…
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RC Cat: “Yes. Yes. Other realms have warned us to beware of that VA Cation clan. An absent minded lot apparently. We appreciate your concern and are determined to stop intrusion by that one.”
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Bother, another foreign diplomat doubtlessly seeking an audience to solicit validation for their questionable outlying realm. Perhaps, some imposter Tom from Alley-gnon? Best to check the quality of the proffered mousies. I recommend staff taste them first lest this be an attempt to seize the throne. Long reign the most benevolent RC!
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RC Cat: “Ah, chere. It is so true. If it’s not one annoyance, it’s another. One must beware of tainted mousies. It is the howlidays and vigilance is imperative. We shall award one soft cheek pat for your kind advice.”
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Ruling with an iron fluff paw! Yes, yes i’m scurrying along now.
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RC Cat: “We are greatly pleased with your understanding – and work ethic. We shall award an encouraging paw wave in stead of a soft cheek pat so as not to delay you. Yes. Yes. We approve. See We are waving graciously – just for you, chere.”
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You’re too kind :’)
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Such a life to sit on the throne, gander at the worldly plebes running at high rates of speed chasing whatever they must. Now my tough decision, nap or snack?
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RC Cat: “Ah, mon ami. It must be your charming musical habits that have sharpened your appreciation. Yes. Yes. Music trains the brain. Ah, perhaps We should insist staff learn musical skills…they would have to practice in the outer realm until accomplished – yet it could be the pathway to enlightenment for them? Oh, We such enjoy your visits – they inspire Us so. We are sending a regal paw wave in appreciation.”
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RC … I’m humbly appreciative.
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I think yours is an old soul, my friend.
Wonderful post.
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RC Cat: “Oh, monsieur, how you do flatter. We relish your visits. Staff does their best to massage creams on Our paws – it is relaxing – and as you pointed out, nothing ages one more than the condition of their soles! A soft cheek pat for your kind concern for Ourself.”
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I must admit, your posts take extra work for my left brain to decipher. A few more posts and perhaps I’ll have it all sorted out. 😉
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The philosopher mouse is very clever—far more so than I am! 😉
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Must be that academic training we had. I have to leap to reach the abstract. 😉
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“Psst. Over here. Quietly. Staff here escaped the windowless cubicles of the data collections, analysts, merging of rough drafts with various PIs’ notes, AP style with annotations, footnotes, and references, the ego-driven constant revisions, editing and publishing deadlines, and the on-line updating of companion websites.
Here, the literature searches are more Mad Magazine, O. Henry, or Poe. The hairballs here may have to be picked up, but those can be thrown out and not worshipped….that was the hairballs, not toss the cat. She insists staff adore, and acknowledge her regal being. She is, after all, the RC Cat of the realm.
This probably just adds fluff to the confusion….perhaps a bit of catnip? I know where the mousies are hidden…”
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My brain hurts. Just like it does with AP Style…
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RC Cat: “A clever mousie? Oh (drooling) That sounds simply enchanting! Some of them just lay there passively – which is not always a bad thing, mind you. Speaking of being passive, We must insist the that clever Meghan stand up to those dogs. We do not approve of her getting knocked down by wild canines. She must find her voice and shout loudly at them. We have found the word “sit” quite effective. We shall send a paw wave of encouragement to Meghan for you to deliver. We graciously thank you for this. Oh, OK a quick soft arm pat for your efforts…staff is so demanding and reward driven.”
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I will forward your wise advice to Meghan. Be assured she would never tolerate such behavior from canines who lived in her home. Like you, she believes good behavior should be the rule.
Perhaps your staff could look into the procurement of clever mousies for your enjoyment?
The arm pat is most graciously welcomed from Your Highness. May you have a tranquil day in the realm.
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“Over here – quickly…while RC is asleep. If you can figure out RC, please let the staff in on the secret. Not being born a cat person, I find it difficult sometimes to decipher RC’s mutterings – the rest of staff simply says to throw food at her and stay out of her path if she’s been attending mousies. Must go. You won’t tell her we chatted, will you. It would disturb her…”
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Mum’s the word.
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RC Cat should also beware of the appearance of Abdi Cation. That member of the clan has caused untold mischief for other royals. Va Cation’s stay is temporary. Abdi Cation will never leave. 😉
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RC Cat: “This Abdi Cation is definitely a concern. We have announced to staff that We wished to be immediately informed if a foreigner dressed in flowing robes, riding a camel, and holding some sort of brass lamp appears at the border. We demand vigilance against this Miss Chief, also. Probably on one of those desert horses.
In gratitude for your warning We award a soft cheek pat. And We are graciously waving. You see? You could wave back. It would be polite to acknowledge. You have alway seems the polite type. Ah, well.”
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I do see! And I hope you can see my wave to you across this distance. Keep your realm safe!
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It is so difficult, trying to control one’s underlings. Do I assume, however, that even being of royal heritage, Lady Litchfield Love, of Litchfield, Staffordshire, also having been granted the title of Empress of Bordeaux and currently residing in her fiefdom South Africa, would be unwelcome in your Realm due to her somewhat dog like attributes?
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RC Cat: “We send warm greetings to Lady Litchfield Love and those of her Realm. While We may have differences, the Empress is sure to agree of the important to have friendly treaties to provide mutual assistance and aid in case of disasters or hostile invasions – or incidents of staff forgetting to clean the water bowls. When disaster strikes, minor differences are forgotten. Such was the case when Our friend, the German, needed safe harbor and a quiet place for a time until her own realm was readied. At her request, We have allowed the orphaned Molly to seek shelter here – as she has promised to keep her paws off the mousies.
Fair Lady, We know you also share a benevolence and sense of duty to care for, and elevate, lesser species such as staff. We send a regal paw wave in friendship”
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Oh dear RC, Sir Tif Iza Cation’s cousin Ed Ification asked me to make you aware that he came with treats… and if they have not been submitted to you suggests you contact Ms Clar Ification in this regard 😉
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RC Cat: “Oh, dear. Our schedule is becoming so busy. It must be the howlidays. We must plan a gala. So many potential visits. We must go snarl, I mean encourage, staff to be efficient. We wish to send a holiday paw wave – Listen. You may be able to hear the jingling of little bells staff has given us…and We are quite sure these are holiday apparel – not to warn birds as has been suggested. Dunderheads. Ignore them, chere! Cheery jingles in appreciation.”
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::curtsies deeply, averting eyes::
Most Majestic one, this frail human brings tidings and gifts. Would a bracing Figgy Pudding be useful? The figgies aren’t figgies at all, but mousies. Perhaps such a comestible would assuage royal concerns and worries that weigh upon your royal brow?
I will place the vessel at your feet and depart, if that please your Royal Furriness.
::holds breath::
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RC Cat: “Oh welcome to that delightful pixie. The business of the realm is so rushed recently. How kind of you to recognize Our suffering. This Figgy pudding sounds intriguing – are those whiskers as decorations on top? We do find mousie whiskers tickle Us so. In recognition of your thoughtfulness, We wish you the most wonderfulness of Christmases. See? We are cheerily waving!
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I just love RC Cat. And the mousies. I have a dog who would eat catnip mousies and had a cat who ignored them.
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Oh, the mousies. The German will gobble them before you can blink. She even notes where they are and sneaks back later to snatch them – we finally figured that out. Grannie loves mousies (but has had many heartbreaks with the German around). RC is the first cat we’ve had that really really likes moussies…but only certain one…that’s me on my knees digging through bins at the pet store…). Thanks for pawsing to chat – you’re just the cat’s meow!
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