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September 2, 2012 / philosophermouseofthehedge

No invitation, Cat Ah Pilar

We are squinting an angry face at the bush.

Staff has been discussing something in the foliage.

We overheard talk of seeing a Cat Ah Pilar.

Odd name.

We would think Spanish – with perhaps a Siamese relative somewhere accounting for the middle name?

A cat of mystery.

A Spanish beauty.
(Gilles Larrain/

Vigilant for some time, but nothing has been spotted. Not fur sighted.

We have not issued any formal invitations.

We have not heard any catcalls – much less responded.

We have received no envoys offering tribute mousies in order to seek Our Approval for safe passage across our domain.

So We must consider the possibility of invasion and prepared for conflict.

If said Pilar has been living rough who knows how many kittens scurry behind her.

Not to mention scrawny battle-scarred suitors eager to impress trailing in her wake.

Cat Ah Pilar, a following such as these?

Perhaps said Pilar has sniffed the absence of the German and decided there is a vacancy.

This Cat Ah Pilar feels her mysterious appearance will enchant Us into letting her saunter right inside unchallenged?

Our residence may offer closed windows to the world, but We are not complacent.

We shall stiffen Our fur to full fluff.

And prepare Our pounding paws.

We are quite capable of turning any intruder into a Cat-of-pulp!

Set a paw upon Our porch and be catstounded, Cat Ah Pilar!

We tired of searching the bush for Cat Ah Pilar.

And the staff’s chatter continues to interrupt our claim of thought.

Tonic bottles (2005.Public domain/deepestbluesea/

What now?

Something to do with Cat A Tonic.

Must be one of those new health drinks.

It is odd .

We do not understand how Our contemplative defensive pose here could possibly remind them of  a health supplement drink.

Simply nothing in common.

An appearance to staff is in order to reaffirm that menus have already been approved.

Yes, sitting upon the grocery cat-a-list seems to get their attention. Good.

Now where is my cat-a-comb?

We wish to be smoothed and soothed.

It is embarrassing to look so much like a rumpled cat-a-log.

You may adore Us for short time.

Then, unfortunately, We must draft a response to that insulting letter sent by the German – the one with all those unfounded accusations.

I delayed until my distress abated.

Such unpleasantness.

Such a way to reward the numerous occasions We graciously extended Our paw to the German.

As RC Cat of the realm, We sometimes face difficult situations.

But that for later.

We shall notify you when We wish to dictate correspondence.

Now, a mousie, adoration, and a cat-a-comb. 

You may sing softly.

Yes.  A little under the chin – and to the left …

No, We are not drooling.

Insolence will not be tolerated

We are not amused.

 Our paw has waved.

A wise attendant would be tiptoeing out quietly now!

Wait! We require you to stand watch for that Cat Ah Pilar.

If intercepted, send that Pilar creature back to – to Catagonia or Cataland or wherever.

We do not care.

Enchanting aerial view of Catagonia. Cat Ah Pilar should be happy there.
(2008.Public domain.entropy1963/

Oh, and pack that Cat A Tonic to go with her.

Perhaps she will gain something.

Or perhaps here in La Mancha, Catstile?
(2007.Public Domain.pradillos/

No A List Cat would ever be found skulking in bushes.

Fuzzy thinking, Cat Ah Pilar!

(Pull those drapes. We do not wish to view the bush any longer.)

Go where the winds blow, Pilar. Language you understand?  (Image:.Wamito/

Unpaw those mousies immediately!

We prefer them spread across the floor in that pattern – done by design.

For meditation purposes.

We could not expect you understand. Still, some learn by example.

You have Our permission to withdraw.

Leave us.


Fini. Adieu.

And don’t forget to leave an open can of food in the doorway as tribute.

I am RC Cat and I approve this message.

Related posts: Click sidebar tag “RC Cat”



  1. PiedType / Sep 2 2012 1:34 am

    You capture “catitude” better than anyone I know.


  2. Homestead Ramblings / Sep 2 2012 1:38 am

    My smile for the day. 🙂


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 2 2012 3:55 pm

      Glad to give you a giggle – necessary for a balanced reading diet. Thanks for chuckling along


  3. roughseasinthemed / Sep 2 2012 6:46 am

    Pippa would always jump up in excitement when we drove through San Pedro de Al-ca(n)t-ara. (near Marbella). He could never understand why a place with such an exciting time wasn’t full of catz. We take the toll road now so he is even more deprived of possible smellings and sightings.

    But perhaps Cat Ah Pilar had made the long journey from San Pedro de Al-cat-arah? Or even further away, from Cat-a-luña?

    Or maybe it is a red cat, and comes from Cat-ah-roja in Valencia? I am sure there are plenty of places Cat Ah Pilar would feel at home over here. Just how to get across that big stretch of water?

    PS That bush at the top is pretty, but I worked in someone’s garden pruning back an overgrown one, and wow, did it stink. I did wonder if neighbouring cats had taken over it….


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 2 2012 4:13 pm

      Ahhh, Marbella.
      I thought you and Pippa might get a giggle over this one – I actually located some pictures of Spanish cats – a rather glamorous tricolor (from Valencia) I almost stuck in after the dancer as the shape outline was comparable- but it was getting too much like a picture book (a fuzzy, leafed rough log was also cut).
      RC suggested Pilar might enjoy a visit to the Catahlambra, Granada. She suggests Pilar check with the consulate here about assistance returning home.
      That bush was the lantana in the Spring -it’s a bit rough now from the heat, but trimmed it last weekend which seems to have greened it up and gotten it blooming again – recent rains have helped.
      Oh, Pippa – the German was all excited recently: she almost got a rabbit. Oddly there are “wild” brown rabbits living in landscaped yards where she likes to walk…she’s been biding her time until person wasn’t paying attention – then lunged, went into 4 wheel drive…bunnies had to scramble. Fun, no?
      More barking soon! Thanks for the catty remarks!


  4. katecrimmins / Sep 2 2012 1:10 pm

    Really funny post! All three cats wanted it read to them. They admire RC although they think they could have a go with the German themselves. As for cat-a-pillars, they are currently into crickets! They offer to review any letter going to the German for RC!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 2 2012 4:18 pm

      Crickets! RC believes those are such good luck we should all pounce on the opportunity to collect them…and keep them safe (she says she know a spot – near her mousies, perhaps?) so when luck is required, you can go and get one…you might have to shake it really hard to animate it…according to RC. But she insists it is the thought that counts for luck.
      Thanks for all paws on deck!


  5. shoreacres / Sep 2 2012 1:23 pm

    If that white cat showed up, methinks RC might have met a worthy match. That one looks ready to rumble.

    Love the lantana – so pretty. I’ve tried it in pots but didn’t do well with it. The fancy cultivars seemed insect-prone, and the native didn’t like a pot one bit. So there we are.

    Miss Dixie sends her regards.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 2 2012 8:11 pm

      (RC would respond – but she’s claiming exhaustion from staring out the window yesterday. Miss Dixie can surely sympathize.)
      That bush is actually from a scraggly small stick of a thing I jerked out of a sand dune in Galveston – they were just starting to build “Beachtown” – there were old barns and homestead buildings years and years ago – you can still spot some of the plantings on the island. So I was on a rescue mission before it all got crushed. That one has proved to be much hardier than any purchased.
      Hope the sunsets are fabulous out your window!


  6. gingerfightback / Sep 2 2012 1:36 pm

    Loved the spread mouse quip!


  7. Emma / Sep 2 2012 2:19 pm

    Fox and Puss appreciate this post.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 2 2012 8:16 pm

      RC regrets she cannot respond personally – but she is exhausted from watching out the window. She wanly waves a paw in gratitude and friendship. Oh, I must be silent now – she is scowling. Thanks for pawsing to chat


  8. Ally Bean / Sep 2 2012 4:38 pm

    “Unpaw those mousies immediately! We prefer them spread across the floor in that pattern – done by design. For meditation purposes.”

    Laughing out loud on that one. No better description of how one of our cats [may he RIP] used to look at me as I tidied up the place. Total distain for me– and my disruptive ways.

    Wonderful post. Thanks.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 2 2012 8:36 pm

      RC expresses frustration at times. It’s so hard to get good staff and she feels some are untrainable to Cat Standards.
      Oh, she is waving her paw: we must back out quietly – but she did award you one soft cheek pat in appreciation of your visit.


  9. The Hook / Sep 2 2012 9:53 pm

    Cats rule! I miss ours…
    Sorry I haven’t been around much lately, but my book, The Bellman Chronicles, will be FREE to download on Sept. 10 – 11! Check it out on my Amazon Kindle page.. You won’t be disappointed. And if you can slip me a review, I’d be forever grateful…


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 3 2012 12:09 am

      I’m a paper/print reader, but have mentioned you book to our librarian – and told some friends with e-readers to catch your title in Sept. Still, by Hook, will find a place to download it – gotta bag that one for sure (remind me a day early so I can post a reminder here for people?)
      Thanks for rolling that cart by


  10. Bongo / Sep 2 2012 10:20 pm

    I think RC needs the German to come back and straighten things out.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 3 2012 12:14 am

      The German certainly kept the backyard clear.
      Apparently she’s attempting to “help” homeowners along her walk route clear their yards of those “wild” bunnies that seem to have taken up residence in their landscape….but only if the leash is slack and person isn’t paying attention: then it’s 4 wheel-drive time for the German!
      Thanks for bouncing over to bark.


  11. jmmcdowell / Sep 2 2012 10:37 pm

    It would be catastrophic for any intruders to dare enter RC’s realm, I think. She seems the type of ruler who is well-prepared to thwart such an attack. I have no doubt the royal mousies and greenies are safe from any incursions. But in case of an attempted siege, perhaps the staff should stockpile a ready supply?


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 3 2012 12:19 am

      RC graciously accepts your evaluation of the situation. She would respond herself, but HRH is exhausted from yesterday’s vigil. She did approve of your suggestion of caches of supplies and has directed staff to add to the cat-a-list. She wanly sends a soft cheek pat for your thoughtfulness. (but now we must leave quietly…)


  12. Unconfirmed Bachelorette / Sep 3 2012 12:06 am

    Oh my goodness, I think this is my favorite! Sadie and Sally also approve this message (aka Bad Kitty 1 and 2).


  13. Unconfirmed Bachelorette / Sep 3 2012 12:14 am

    P.S. I have nominated you for the Inspiring Blog and One Lovely Blog awards. Here: You can pass the torch by giving me a shout-out, then stating 7 facts about yourself and nominating 15 bloggers whom you find inspiring or lovely.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 3 2012 2:38 pm

      Oh, RC is so pleased about being recognize (it’s all about HRH today – I will jump over and grab that – as soon as I can distract her and sneak off). THanks so much for remembering us with this honor! (oh, sorry, must cat-acomb more now….)


  14. Sunshine / Sep 3 2012 5:07 am

    I cat a laf everytime i come here…here is a little something for the entertainment–
    have a lovely week!


  15. jannatwrites / Sep 3 2012 5:18 am

    Those cat-ah-pilars must be lost. That could be the only explanation for entering RC Cat’s realm uninvited. It must be exhausting keeping guard, but she still manages to look beautiful and relaxed 🙂


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 3 2012 3:05 pm

      RC is now quite concerned as HEH overheard comment about Cat Ah Pilar changing. Changing what? Attitude? Perhaps changing her mind about being in the bush – which could be good new or bad….hopefully Cat AH Pilar is changing her fuzzy thinking. RC Cat is furiously waving her paw – I have neglected to thank you for your concern on her behalf. Oh, she sends a soft cheek pat in recognition of your kindness. (Yes, RC I did, too write that – all that paw-wacking on my leg is unnecessary….OH? it is is time for boxing practice? How could I be so confused….)


  16. EllaDee / Sep 3 2012 6:27 am

    The lovely lantana, in Australia, is what RC would consider the Pilar to be, an interloping pest. I don’t suppose you will remind RC that she and The German did have common ground in this regard 😉


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 3 2012 3:24 pm

      This particular lantana bush came from a stick (probably outlawed now) in a sand dune on Galveston island. They were beginning a developer’s dream of a “beach town” on that spot. All across the island are remnants of old homesteads and barns – you can see some of the yard plantings in places still. So I was on a rescue mission before it all go tractor-ed over. This plant has proved to be much hardier than any purchased….it does have to be whacked back and kept under control….guess it’s happy here. The migrating birds and butterflies count on it.
      Australia has been impacted a lot by invading plants and animals – I think this is native here – but going to check.
      OH, RC is waving her paw. HRH will agree that the German has some things in common – but insists the German is mostly just “common”. Still they may find more common ground at a distance….that absence makes the heart grow thing.
      Thanks for pawsing over


  17. CATachresis / Sep 3 2012 8:06 am

    I hear cats kill such in the Catskills! Does RC Cat’s skill stretch that far?


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 3 2012 3:36 pm

      RC wanly waves a paw (she is exhausted from worrying about Cat Ah Pilar). HRH warns you must be cautious around her distant relatives in backwoods rural areas – their rules of conduct are more feral and unpredictable. A hardy lot, they often scratch without a thought..(she muttered something about in-breeding…).
      Oh, RC wishes to say Catnational Security Issues prevent a more complete response. You are not to worry. She intends to mark her friends to keep them safe.
      RC send a soft paw pat in recognition of your kindness. (Oh, we must leave now….)
      (Sorry, we have been dismissed.


  18. writingfeemail / Sep 3 2012 1:02 pm

    I’m glad this wasn’t a cat-as-trophe! Does German understand the cat language? I’m hoping my two will finally get along.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 3 2012 3:41 pm

      RC Cat assures all that she gets along with the German quite well – at a distance(like several states away) or higher elevation (which is only proper). She is planning an appropriate response to that letter of wild suggestions by the German. Oh just the thought of addressing that is making her weary…She graciously thanks you for your kindness, but feels she must rest now…Oh, I guess that means we must cease correspondence and quietly leave. She is waving her paw – wanly.


  19. Kourtney Heintz / Sep 9 2012 12:36 am

    Love how cat-centric RC is. 🙂


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 9 2012 6:35 pm

      Ah, yes. Today RC is protesting with a hunger strike..reasons later this week. Thanks fur dropping by!



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