Was the address written down wrong?
The old neighborhood certainly looked different.
No answer.
The Wanderer (Friedrich 1774-1840/Photo reprod.PD art/Artist life+100/ Commons.wikimedia.org)
A little bleary from the night before.
It had been a long journey.
Finally got here.
Tired. Hungry.
No answer.
They weren’t expecting anyone.
It was a surprise.
End of a long and lonesome road.
(1853-1936.Wellcome Collection/National Archives 297698/US Public Domain. Fed employee/Commons.wikimedia.org)
No answer?
Fancy beveled glass door.
Can’t see anyone moving inside.
It’s early, though.
Well, it’s shady and the porch is clean.
Might as well settle in and wait.
Curl up until they notice.
Ah, a vehicle pulling in the drive.
What’s a few more minutes? (Modigliani 1884-1920/US public domain: reprod.PD art/artist life+90/Commons.wikimedia.org)
Opening mouth in welcome, the gator was shocked at their response. Shocked.
First, a reporter shoving a microphone towards him out the front door.
Wait a minute. Media?
Did Publisher’s Clearinghouse finally come through?
Anyone would shuffle and circle a bit under the circumstances: momentary confusion.
Alligator’s porch interview in Parkland, Florida (Screenshot/www.clickorlando)
Relocation plan? What?
Not ratting on any associates.
Forget that Witness Protection Program.
Although, being new to town, appreciate locating a good dating service.
Always hard to meet and greet the local gals.
Oh, there’s a club? As in sand bar and dancing, right?
No! Let go of the neck.
Not that sort of gator.
No kisses! No means no!
Must object. Not interested in any kinky stuff either.
Please remove the gag
Not the eyes. Strongly object to blindfolds.
Untie the arms. Untie!
What? Levitating? Where now?
What do you mean no purchase is necessary to win? (Screenshot.www.clickorlando)
For gator’s sake, please leave a note on the door explaining the gator repo or gator-napping or something.
Do hope this is the right address.
So much for suburban hospitality,
Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.
“Alligator hangs out on South Florida front porch on Mother’s Day”. VIDEO of gator’s interview and that kiss. The “Gator Boys” from Animal Planet collects him. Have you ever seen a gator sleeping bag before? Looks like a nice one.
Another gator going porch to porch. VIDEO. Sienna Plantation/Houston area, TX. (It’s that time of year.)
Great Gator Tips What to do if you see one. TX Parks and Wildlife.
Other gator posts:
- Odd Welcome. Mistaken Identification? Suburban life isn’t for everyone?
- Alas, Lady Unwanted Poolside. A beautiful mysterious woman always means trouble.
- Crawl over to the sidebar and click “Alligators” for more.
Don’t worry my little one. You won’t be used as gator bait often.
(1889. Borckmann 1827-1890/US public domain:photo reprod PD art/expired copyright/artist life+70/ Commons.wikimedia.org)
A haunting knock, knock, knock. Who?
Did you hear that? In the bushes…
(Henry Robinson,1830-1901/US public domain: reprod.PD art/expired copyright/artist+70/ Commons.wikimedia.org)
A Big Bad Wolf on the prowl. No joke.
A real predator. Just like in Red Riding Hood.
A hunter stealthily tracking victims.
One with super hearing and sniffing powers.
(All the better to find a tasty morsel.)
Self confident enough to grab a victim larger than itself.
(Expect anything less from a wolf?)
And gobble it down. Rip chunks of flesh right off if it’s bigger than one gulp!
(Hide the children!)
“What? Big teeth? All the better to eat things. Anchovies?”
(1911.Jessie W. Smith.1863-1935/US public domain/expired copyright/artist life+70/Commons.wikimedia.org)
Sounds like a Grimm’s tail, right?
(Or something even more out of this world odd?)
Possible Space Alien traveling on slime? (Giant African Land Snail. Sonei.SA/Commons.wikimedia.org)
Last week news was crawling about an invasion by a Giant African Land Snail
- A giant 8 inch eat-everything-green-in-its’-path mollusk. (Menu favorites? Over 500 plants)
- A snail carrying the deadly parasitic disease: Rat lungworm, a form of meningitis.
- (Don’t touch! Don’t touch! Wash your hands! Yuckie!)
- Giant snails that can lay 100 eggs a month – 1,200 or so a year.
- Giant rat-size snails that gnaw through stucco and plaster.
- (Call the insurance company! Covered for snail invasions and slime removal?)
“Deadly giant snail found in Houston”(See the giant snail! Video. A real horror story!)
Only it wasn’t.
Mistaken identity!
Slimed by Photo ID and fact check.
Wait! Mistaken identity! Escargot ready? I brought pasta.
(1934.Oskar Herrfurth,1862-1934.US public domain: photo reprod of PD art/artist+70/Commons.wikimedia.org)
It was a Big Bad Rosy Wolf Snail. (probably)
- A snail species on a mission: tracking destructive snail prey and dispatching them
- Smaller: a mere 2-3 inches in diameter.
- Terrestrial
- (Or so they say. Some believe space life forms walk among us. A Terminator Snail sent to assist?)
- (Slime and aliens do go together. Ask the Simpsons.)
- A Texas native species (? See above)
Who knows what sort of life is out there?
(NASA Spitzer Space Telescope.Exoplanet UCF-1.01.NASA/Public domain: fed. agency/Commons.wikimedia.org)
Red Riding Hood and veggie gardeners cheer this Rosy Wolf.
If the identification is correct true.
They think it is.
The unidentified snail quickly slid from sight.
(Seriously? Was it turbo charged ? Or something more Sci-Fi perhaps?)
A spaceship escape? OK, maybe not in one made out of LEGOs, but…
(Stefan-Xp/ Commons.wikimedia.org)
No need to panic.
Uh, Florida actually does have a big problem with Giant African Land Snails.
But none confirmed in Texas, yet. Travel has been hampered.
Think dog slobber is hard to clean off leather seats? Try snail slime.
Difficult to put out a single foot to hitchhike.
Air transport? Might get stuck in airport security lines.
Still, notice an unusual rock oddly sliming across the yard?
Notify Stuart Kuehn, USDA in Austin.
(Forget the USDA. Got the number for those Men in Black?)
Preparing for dangerous snail invasion. Got extra Rosy Wolf Snails?
(Lost in Space.1966/US public domain:publication date/lacks copyright/artist life/ Commons.wikimedia.org)
Maybe just hot foot it this summer with closed-toed shoes and ray gun?
Stilts anyone?
(Ok, crying wolf. “Here snail. Here’s snail.”)
Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.
Best commander for the Great Snail Wars?
(Bart Simpson on USAF Stratotanker. National Archives.6473248/US public domain: US airforce airman or employee/Fed gov/ Commons.wikimedia.org)
Do ducks get jet lag?
Suffer time zone changes?
Is that why they quack so loudly overhead?
Not to maintain camaraderie or sort out who’s the leader for a bit?
The first flight out. (Two+two=4/Commons.wikimedia.org)
Complaining through bleary Monday flights just like humans?
Traffic was so bad.
No place to park.
Kept getting bumped into.
A rush at the food court.
Ruffled feathers.
Flight’s never ready.
Sat on gum.
First class. (The All-Story 1908 cover.Harry G.Dart/Library of Congress.ppmsca.13554/Commons.wikimedia.org)
Not bothered with watches or cell phones.
Only the sunrise and sunset marking the day.
Seem more natural. More in tuned.
So why all the quacking?
GPS not working?
Back flock drivers?
Some motivational chant?
High altitude attitudes. (Etan Tal/Commons.wikimedia.org)
Peering through tiny windows that limit the sky and sight, do people compare flights?
Do ducks wonder why?
Fly on, Monday travelers. Sigh on.
Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge
Cloudscape (Evan-Amos,Vanamo Media: Released to public domain/Commons.wikimedia.org)
.
You may be seated.
Eyes open! No playing possum!
You may smile and nod, but please hold hearty cheers of adoration and gratitude until given leave.
As RC Cat of the Realm, We wish to briefly address Our subjects, bumbling loyal staff, and guests fortunate enough to breathe the same air as Our Royal Self.
There has been some chatter recently concerning incidents.
As always We discourage gossip and negativity.
It causes Us great distress when We sense some are alarmed.
While no explanation is required, We shall explain – as a kindness.
Woe to those who struggle outside the Realm
(Wanderer in the Storm 1835.von Leypold,1806-1874/Met Museum/US public domain. photo reprod PD art/publication date/artist life+100/Commons.wikimedia.org)
The world outside the Realm is a wrought with complexity – and, yes, sadly, danger.
We are ever vigilant so Our subjects live without fear.
Recently a package arrived and was placed in the Visitors’ Salon.
It is times like these when We wish the Molly had had learned parcel security monitoring from the German before she departed to her new assignment.
The Molly tries valiantly, but We fear she is out of her depth since she immediately grabs any box and dashes wildly around the Realm without a thought that it might contain something dangerous.
Staff has been instructed to continue the Molly’s lessons. We believe there is a learn curve but the idiot dog keeps eating the ball.
When We happened on the scene, We immediately leaped onto the tallest furniture in the room took charge.
Placing Our Royal Self in the greatest possible danger.
Duty before mousies Self!
Wide tape on the box was no match for Our razor-sharp Paws of Fury.
Once the box was open,We were shocked – stunned.
What kind of creature would send such to Our Realm?
Enough. Turn away. Comfort the children!
This is a disturbing image, but to be ignorant is to be vulnerable.
We apologize for causing discomfort.
Staff was instantly instructed to not only remove this vile object from Our sight, but to dispose of it quickly.
Our staff is quite efficient and We wouldn’t trust them out of our sight know they have complied with Our wishes and did not hide that irritating book in order to giggle over it later.
The Realm is safe and secure.
Married to her realm. Elizabeth I of England. We salute your sense of duty.(1595.English School/Ampleforth Abbey/US public domain: reprod PD art/artist life+100/ Commons.wikimedia.org)
Now an equally annoying more joyous occasion, We wish to honor the mothers of the Realm.
While We Ourselves follow the role of noble Queen Elizabeth R, We appreciate the sacrifices and efforts to keep their little tail pullers out of Our way of mothers.
Please don’t play with the lace. But there is no room in my lap right now!
(1858.J Kriehuber,1800-1876/ US public domain.photo reprod of PD art/ publication date/artist life+100/ Commons.wikimedia.org)
In the spirit of this official Mother’s Day, We are requesting all – including the Molly – have compassion.
During a recent deluge, We observed a young desperate creature precariously teetering along the top edges of the fence.
Doubtlessly fleeing a flooded home.
That foolish Molly thought it was simply a very ugly cat.
Upon closer examination, We determined the sad sight was a young possum (with a lovely coat, although wet)
A very pregnant mother possum.
Judging from her skills, We assume she must have been a circus performer.
Perhaps fell for the dashing looks of an acrobat or juggler. Foolish girl!
She looked just like this. Only it was raining and she was a possum and she was pregnant.
(Popular Science cover.Feb 1917/US Public domain: publication date/expired copyright/Commons.wikimedia.org,)
We flailed wildly and beat upon the windows in outrage of this intrusion without permission kindly waved and offered shelter in Our Outer Realm.
There is that adorable little cabin the German left behind.
Practically new and unused as staff over-indulged that German Shepherd creature terribly.
It is Our wish and command that should the possum mother choose to dwell for a bit in the Outer Realm. She should be given sanctuary during her time of need.
That poor creature. We must do something. Her fur reminds me of mousies.
It is Mother’s Day, after all and it would look bad if We tossed a holiday protected individual into the street in front of a car.
Perhaps We can find use for a possum.
She shall be grateful and owe us a favor.
Now you have permission to go about your duties.
All is well with your RC Cat watching all.
There is something about that possum that looks familiar
Could it be? No. The same possum that showed up last year at this very time?
We shall not be duped by devious possum.
We shall now withdraw to allow all to rest from the intense emotion from being in Our presence.
Our paw is waving!
Cheers of adoration may now be released.
Fini.
And don’t forget to leave open cans of food in the doorway as tribute.
We shall review those in a little while.
Allowing ALL to comply the opportunity to show their gratitude for Our sacrifices and service.
We take notes.
A word to the wise.
Adieu.
I am RC Cat and I approve this message.
Click sidebar tag ”RC Cat” for more of RC Cat’s correspondences and to visit her Realm.
More about last year’s Mother’s Day Possums (not exactly the gift on the list)
- Run! Run Far! Not far enough. Mother’s Day Possum Event.(Is this getting to be a regular thing?)
- Mother’s Day Possum: Just Practice. The next week, the next episode. Possum alert continues.
What? My mom ran off to join the circus?
(Orphaned Possum. Brisbane City Council/Flickr, 2012/Commons.wikimedia.org)
Must find some small fry.
Kids will do, I suppose if no short height-challenged individuals are available.
Excuse me is this the place for a little party?
(The Cave of Dwarfs.H.L.M.Asgard Stories,1901.M.H. Foster/US public domain:publication date/expired copyright/Commons.wikimedia.org)
Little Munchkins
That’s OK to say?
Don’t want to offend. Oz is cool.
(But stop humming that Randy Newman “Short People”. Rude.)
No small welcome by Mr Roarke/Montalban and Tattoo/Herve Villechaize
(Return to Fantasy Island,1977.ABC TV/ US public domain:publication date with no copyright notice/Commons.wikimedia.org)
How about planning entertainment as a small honor?
Snow White has a merry little crowd (Makes you want to whistle and Hi-Ho! along.)
Re-runs of the Fantasy Island series? (Loved that weekly: “The plane. The plane!”)
Different Strokes or Webster? (No small audiences there.)
That reality show Little People. Big World? (Don’t overlook them.)
Little appreciation always welcomed.
Hug a petite!
Traditionally honored by Royals
(Las Meninas.1656.Velazquez.1599-1660. Prado/ US public domain:reprod of PD art/ artist life+100/Commons.wikimedia)
Friday is National Shrimp Day!
Oh? Are you sure?
Shrimp like fish?
Read the fine print?
Looks like a list of seafood restaurants and recipes for gumbo and scampi.
That’s fishy.
That stinks: Shrimp boil (A13ean/Commons.wikimedia.org)
Shrimp’s been a term of endearment! Forever!
Ask any sibling.
Like “Stop, you little shrimp. Give that back.”
Followed by, “Mom, he’s calling me names.”
Stew on that for a while.
Confusion understandable.
Seriously, it’s National Shrimp-as-in-Seafood Day!
Time to get out the barbie, Doll.
Batter up those shrimpies. Get them ready to fry.
Grillers, grab your skewers.
(Of course french fries are a vegetable. Paper towel for blotting?)
All you can eat shrimp + a view of the bay. Rain or shine.
Bubba’s Shrimp Palace. San Leon, TX (www.bubbasshrimppalace.com)
A different splash of shows required.
Little Mermaid (Seems a bit awkward.)
Finding Nemo (For shrimpy little kids?)
Jaws? (Finally, one with bite that hooks you with thrills)
SNL’s Land Shark skits! Classic! “Knock Knock. Candygram. Land shark!”
Perfectly seasoned opening for spicy weekend activities.
Fine art, but not art cars
(Arlington Park,2009.Paul Kehrer/Flickr.Win,Place,Show/ Commons.wikimedia.org)
It’s also the 26th Annual Art Car Parade!
Over 275 Art Cars will meander down Allan Parkway on Saturday…for hours.
(No rain! No rain! You can hear the chanting?)
Confused?
Drive over for 2012 Art Car Parade pictures and posts here and here.
A different kind of pedigreed thoroughbred on the track.
(2011 Porsche 356 Art Car by R. Sanders/ Alex Brogan/ Commons.wikimedia.org)
Looking forward to “Heroicar” by Welsh artist Andy Hazell
It’s built around a 15 year old Honda that appeared last year as a Mayan Temple.
Picture it: a Super Hero Salute
Superman swooping down on top of the car to save the day.
The Man of Aluminum’s right arm reaches into the passenger-side window.
His aluminum cape flapping in flight (helped by a hidden windshield wiper motor.)
The sides of the car are painted to show what’s inside. (instant x-ray vision for parade viewers!)
Rumor is there may be Kryptonite in the glove box.
Keeping eyes on the road (2011 Art Car Parade. Alex Brogan/ Commons.wikimedia.org)
Like all Art Cars, Heroicar is street legal.
Driving to another art car parade in Victoria, TX, May 18.
Live in the Baltimore area? Watch for Heroicar in the July Artscape Festival.
Hooked on Art Cars?
Enjoy the shrimp fest while waiting for the tour.
Will try to update 2013 pictures/video (weather permitting camera)
Part of a thundering herd
(2005.Ride to Live Art Car.PD by Montrose Patriot/Commons.wikimedia.org)
A little fun for the weekend,
(Don’t stop short)
Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge
Read more:
- History of Houston’s Art Car Parade. CW39 NEWS VIDEO of cars and parade
- “Art Car Parade Enjoy the ride”. Houston Press. Article and pictures of cars
- www.thehoustonsrtcarparade.com (pictures, history, info)
- Facebook Houston Art Car Parade (pictures, join the fun)
- “Heroicar Art Car is ready to roll”. Artist’s sketch and photo of work in progress (Hope link works)
After this let’s head to the Art Car Parade. You can sit down so I’ll be the taller one in the pictures.
Mickey Rooney.Judy Garland 1939.(Grauman’s Theater/LA Times/US Public Domain: publication date/copyright not renewed/artist life/ Commons.wikimedia.org)
Odd choice.
It’s eccentric – quirky – here, to put it kindly.
(Nervous eye movements. Wringing of hands.)
What? Are you sure?
(Trailer,1953 Gentlemen Prefer Blondes/US public domain: publication date/no copyright notice/Commons.wikimedia.org)
Interview an author?
Don’t like to pry.
If they wanted you to know, they would tell you.
Always up for a challenge, so here’s a sneak peek of the instruments of interrogation draft
Only a test drive.
On a controlled track.
Potential polite inquiries for the first victim writer:
Answer the questions and explain why.
1. Choose to travel in TARDIS or rocket ship?
Universal themes: deep, cool, and splashy. Interviewers? Maybe not so.
(Andysonic777@Eng.lang.Wikipedia/Commons.wikimedia.org)
2. If a lake was the source for all themes and characters, do you
- Dog paddle
- Swim laps
- Scuba dive
- Thrash wildly and desperately
- Float until help/inspiration arrives
- Skim across the surface on a paddle board or boat
- Become a mermaid
3. As a writer, are you wear
- Tall boots to see better (and to prevent vicious bites by vipers, editors, and such)
- Uggs
- Flip flops
- Well-worn athletic shoes
- Red sole shoes by Christian Louboutin (Publish this or I’ll poke out your eye with this heel)
- Bare feet
- Horse shoes for luck
Writing is like walking on broken glass. So is interviewing.
(Dartington Crystal/Glamhag/Flickr/Commons.wikimedia.org)
4. If life is a journey, you would prefer to travel by
- Spaceship
- DeLorean
- Surf board looking for the ultimate wave to ride
- Off-road vehicle
- Golf cart
- Outrageously expensive car on the German autobahn
- Ceremonial carriage pulled by perfectly matched horses
- Mule and wagon
- Elephant (With bells, drapery, and canopy)
- On foot (See question #3 )
Feather? The goose will never miss it. Get to the point.
(A. Stevens 1823-1906/US Public Domain: photo reprod of PD/ art/artist life+100/Commons.wikimedia.org)
5. If computers were unavailable, what would be your instrument for stories?
- Pencil (Good eraser or not?)
- Real fountain pen with ink
- Old fashion black typewriter that dings and has a cylinder to push.
- Neurons and brain cells (oral language tradition passes to next generation)
- Stick in the sand (Life is so transient. It’s easier to make changes after the beta readers finish.)
6. It’s rainy: a dark and stormy. Where do you choose sit to write?
- Upstairs in a Victorian house looking out through tree branches
- Porch
- In front of tall sleek windows high above the city streets
- Dimly lit basement near the running dryer which drowns out the noise upstairs
- In the driver’s seat of the car as you are waiting
- In a kitchen where the snacks and beer are
- In a dirt floored log cabin
- In a room with every electronic gadget known to man (with a backup generator)
- An elevator stuck between floors
We’ll teach that writer to ignore characters’ feelings. You dance left across the brain. I’ll dance right. Meet up later.
(Annette,1962 Babes in Toyland.Disney/US public domain: publication date/no copyright/expired copyright/ Commons.wikimedia.org)
7. Do your story characters:
- Invade your dreams and argue all night about the story?
- Sit quietly by your side and let you work?
- Get bored and wander off at times?
- Threaten to kill off the others in order to get more attention (whether they deserve it or not)?
- Bribe other characters to go away – like to another story?
- Play nice with others?
- Want better clothes or houses?
- Want to nag you’ve lost your way and will never make it work? (Why won’t you listen!)
- Do you stuff characters in a closet while working because they are so hard to control?
- Let characters auto-control your hands while you are in a trance?
8. Would you choose to be:
- A dinosaur
- A dragon
- A space alien
- A butterfly
- A Cheshire cat
- The Grand Canyon
Grand Canyon. History written here.
(meckimac.com/Commons.wikimedia.org)
So, what’s the verdict?
Any hope here or back to the primordial creative slop for more interview ideas?
What do you do with an author?
(It’s like that song “How do you solve a problem like Maria?” from the Sound of Music? There. Sing along.)
Who’s the author and what book?
Oh, you’ll have to wait on that.
Gotta mush this around a bit…
Possibly trip that author who may be frantically attempting to flee now.
(Whoops. Didn’t see that ankle restraint?
Here, drink this. It will make everything so much better.
A nap? Sure.)
Oh, it’ll be fun.
(Keep saying that.)
Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge
It’s the Invisible Published Author appearing soon!
(1959 Classic illustrated. G. Biggs/Gilberton/US public domain. publication date/expired copyright/ Commons.wikimedia.org)
That haunting sound seeps across the early sky.
You know, that high altitude whoosh that always reminds you of ”Lost”.
Probably the first flight out.
Was it maliciously interrupting the sunrise rituals by lesser creatures?
(Time to be busy, laggards! Losers snoozers.)
Or a sky echoed scream?
(Noooo, I forgot the charger!)
Or simply a group sigh at the hour, lack of coffee, and the hours to go before sleep?
Those left behind looked overhead and wish. It’s got to be better than this.
Even Children of the Corn would be afraid.
They were spotted.
They are on the march again.
Despite the efforts – and promises by those who are supposed to know.
A perpetual battle
One that tests resolve, endurance, and tolerance of pain if defensive measures are unsuccessful.
They are many.
We are few.
The few. Bearing the heavy burden of decision: first strike with weapons of last resort.
Innocents will be harmed – maybe die.
Collateral damage.
Sacrifice a few to save the rest?
Quickly. Where you have hidden the juicy morsels, my pretties?
(Copley,1793.US public domain: publication date/ artists life+100 yrs/ Commons.wikimedia.org)
Hard to explain that to those resting in pieces.
Some may not be missed.
With so many, what’s the loss of a few?
Still there might be unexpected consequences.
Yes, butterflies are pretty, but there’s always crayons and paper.
There’s the ladybugs and the bees. They will just go elsewhere.
Perhaps better to do as the peasants in the Middle Ages when kings fought for crowns?
Keep the children hidden indoors.
Try a scorched earth no comfort, no shelter policy.
Hope for rain to drown them all.
Packed all worldly belongings in the face of danger.
(C.W.Carter,1879.War Dept/National Archives. US public domain: fed employee/ Commons.wikimedia.org)
Yes. Best to set the timer on sprinklers for a predawn event.
Soggy soil is inhospitable.
Tunnels cave in. Children must be carried to safety.
They’ll move on to a dry yard.
They’re not stupid – far from it.
Cutting remarks won’t deter them.
A worry, then. Do fire ants hold a grudge?
Better a mechanical sprinkler instead of recognizable me with a pan of hot water.
Just in case.
A little antsy,
Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.
Vibrations by lawn mowers may disturb them, but they are determined and resilient.
