Tornado, requesting direct hit.

Point maid. (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

And who you gonna call? Storm muster.

Have target. Will deliver tribute to whomever spins it up.

Stupid drama, useless hand-wringing, and shaking fists in the wind. Brains storming here.

You know how it is: can’t pick your family…

Still, Ream associates are smarter than the average bearers of how to deal.

Molly Malamute offered several suggestions:

• A large wet nose shoved where it would not be appreciated
• Lots of leaning in – summer shedding leaves an enduring presence on most fabric. (You wouldn’t believe how itchy guard hairs can be…and how difficult to get out of fabric once it spears in well.)
• Then there’s always “Hi, if you mention or react that all 80 pounds are crushing your right sandal, you’ll appear weak and desperate to concede you are wrong – wrong, not wronged.” Blackened toenails heal and grow out after a year or so…if you can’t take the pressure, hot foot it.
• There’s always mudslinging if the sprinkler just happens to have been left on

RC Cat, a socially conscious Add-vous-cat, suggests a firm-squish approach. Clear messaging.

• Say you are being economic by leaving the lights dim so the unidentified soft wet lumps across the doorway are not discerned in time.
• Or the time-honored “Stare silently at the corner until she leaves”.
• Of course, she snorts, “The most direct approach is to lock the door and go sit in the closet.”

Darn that EU ban on U.S. tourists. We can’t offer SIL a Paris trip during storm season and ask for a selfie at the very tip top…(1902/USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

I am thinking more like shoving a trailer home into a certain individual’s driveway before the next stormy day. Tornadoes are always attracted to the trailers.

Relishing images of the Wicked Witch of the East’s feet and legs curling upon under the house that landed on her in Munchkin Land.

“Who was she?” asked Dorothy. “She was the Wicked Witch of the East, as I said,” answered the little woman. “She has held all the Munchkins in bondage for many years, making them slave for her night and day. Now they are all set free, and are grateful to you for the favor.” (WIKI)

99% of the family can identify.

I have promised RC Cat any ruby slipper left behind. She wants them as Booked Ends for her afternoon window…flying things being attracted to shiny and red….her own Munchin’ Land envisioned.

Yes, a difficult family member is such a joy, a year ’round gift – just like a subscription fruit basket. Rotten.

A promise, though: one less at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

(That a feast and a present in itself)

Balancing acts.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

It’s just like this. Every time: promises promises, but always, predictably, Bam.(Screenshot. Charles Schulz/peanuts.fandom.com/ Watch a bunch of Peanuts’ football gags here.)

 

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