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July 7, 2020 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Tornado, requesting direct hit.

Ruby slippers on the Wicked Witch of the East from Wizard of Oz them prk ride. (USPD. Released/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Point maid. (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

And who you gonna call? Storm muster.

Have target. Will deliver tribute to whomever spins it up.

Stupid drama, useless hand-wringing, and shaking fists in the wind. Brains storming here.

You know how it is: can’t pick your family…

Still, Ream associates are smarter than the average bearers of how to deal.

Molly Malamute offered several suggestions:

  • A large wet nose shoved where it would not be appreciated
  • Lots of leaning in – summer shedding leaves an enduring presence on most fabric. (You wouldn’t believe how itchy guard hairs can be…and how difficult to get out of fabric once it spears in well.)
  • Then there’s always “Hi, if you mention or react that all 80 pounds are crushing your right sandal, you’ll appear weak and desperate to concede you are wrong – wrong, not wronged.” Blackened toenails heal and grow out after a year or so…if you can’t take the pressure, hot foot it.
  • There’s always mudslinging if the sprinkler just happens to have been left on

RC Cat, a socially conscious Add-vous-cat, suggests a firm-squish approach. Clear messaging.

  • Say you are being economic by leaving the lights dim so the unidentified soft wet lumps across the doorway are not discerned in time.
  • Or the time-honored “Stare silently at the corner until she leaves”.
  • Of course, she snorts, “The most direct approach is to lock the door and go sit in the closet.”
Lightning strikes Eiffel Tower, 1902. (USPD.NOAA.gov. image/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Darn that EU ban on U.S. tourists. We can’t offer SIL a Paris trip during storm season and ask for a selfie at the very tip top…(1902/USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

I am thinking more like shoving a trailer home into a certain individual’s driveway before the next stormy day. Tornadoes are always attracted to the trailers.

Relishing images of the Wicked Witch of the East’s feet and legs curling upon under the house that landed on her in Munchkin Land.

Who was she?” asked Dorothy. “She was the Wicked Witch of the East, as I said,” answered the little woman. “She has held all the Munchkins in bondage for many years, making them slave for her night and day. Now they are all set free, and are grateful to you for the favor.” (WIKI)

99% of the family can identify.

I have promised RC Cat any ruby slipper left behind. She wants them as Booked Ends for her afternoon window…flying things being attracted to shiny and red….her own Munchin’ Land envisioned.

Yes, a difficult family member is such a joy, a year ’round gift – just like a subscription fruit basket. Rotten.

A promise, though: one less at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

(That a feast and a present in itself)

Balancing acts.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

Lucy holding the football for Charlie Brown. Peanuts football gag.(Screenshot. Charles Schulz/peanuts.fandom)

It’s just like this. Every time: promises promises, but always, predictably, Bam.(Screenshot. Charles Schulz/peanuts.fandom.com/ Watch a bunch of Peanuts’ football gags here.)

 

17 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. shoreacres / Jul 7 2020 6:28 am

    Uhhhh… I’m not sure what it is, but I think I’m glad you’re coping with it, and not me. Of course, better if neither of us had to cope with “it,” but… Would it help if I sent my pair of adolescent possums over? Probably not.

    Liked by 2 people

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 10 2020 4:41 pm

      Did you send one or two? They must have come while we were out getting the mail. Molly found their calling card left in the backyard….enjoyed rolling on it greatly…,did not enjoy the bath afterwards.
      Oh, well, easily amused. Any distraction from unpleasant person who will not be coming to Thanksgiving next time appreciated. End of that story. HAHA
      Thanks for sending in the clowns (they did make it home Ok, right?)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Kate Crimmins / Jul 7 2020 6:33 am

    Family drama? There is always one. We all had to cut off a close family member because it was too toxic. We each dropped them one by one not knowing the others were doing the same. Now, 30 years later, everyone is happier including the one dropped. Some people aren’t meant to be related. I like RC’s approach. Wet clumps of unknown origin are always a joy to step in.

    Liked by 3 people

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 10 2020 4:51 pm

      Toxic is the word. Her oldest son actually moved his family out of state in the dead of night and left no forwarding address or phone number. That much fun.
      Recognizing the chaos, I had insulated myself a long time ago, but the younger generation wanted their kids to know family, so against my better judgement ( and with multiple warnings of Lucy and the football)…well, now they know.
      Eventually the waters will still. (but all the comfort foods like chips and cookies in the house may be gone before then)…Treadmills do have a purpose…but a fish pond would be so nice…hope yours is up and running smoothly..the waterbirds are migrating into the yards to play int he sprinklers here – that’s fun! Thanks for flying by with a comment

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Spinster / Jul 7 2020 6:52 am

    Nice to be able to build one’s own tribe. “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 10 2020 4:55 pm

      Yep. Married into this asylum, recognized the potential immediately, and just stepped away refusing to play. Surprised to find I wasn’t the only one. Dogs provide such a great excuse to leave the room HAHA
      Thanks for that great quote!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. sustainabilitea / Jul 7 2020 12:10 pm

    Sigh. Been there.

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 10 2020 5:00 pm

      It’s the chaos that whirls and disturbs for days after an event. No water under the bridge enabling here…or anyplace else in the group after this time. Even Charlie Brown has a limit. Thanks for dropping in

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Ally Bean / Jul 7 2020 1:18 pm

    I’m reading and hearing this story more often lately. Not everyone is meant to be in your life, regardless of how they got there in the first place. Sometimes sad, but always true.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 10 2020 5:07 pm

      Social distancing ….loooong distance social distancing is best in this case. It is sad. But apparently she’s had this behavior since a child according to those who raised her…the spoiled rotten and the Bad Seed. So much so her oldest son move his family and left no forwarding address/phone – for years.
      As mom said, “you make your bed and you lie in it.” And she also said something about if something bothers you , walk away from it . Works for me.
      Thanks for confirming it is what it is

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Littlesundog / Jul 8 2020 5:53 am

    There is a member of our family who drums up drama and delivers her bomb of toxicity continually. Finally, most of us have learned that it’s best to let her be and I think we’re all safer. Society tries to dictate how things “should” be with family, but I find that to be bullshit. Dangerous people are everywhere – families are not exempt. It’s up to us to tap into instinct and stay the hell away… like the wild ones do when predators come lurking.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 10 2020 5:13 pm

      Yep, I caught on fairly early and have kept my distance – “Oh, you go meet them for lunch, I’ll just stay home.” I have enough chaos without dealing with one who really is toxic – and any contact with her only brings days of upheaval later. Life is too short.
      You won’t believe how many relatives/old school friends have begged us not to give her their email, address, or phone number. The stories are endless. And I don;’t think she realizes this latest little stunts is the last straw for any who felt sorry for her and tried to maintain some contact.
      Yeah, instinct is the word, all right
      Thanks for hoofing up a comment

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Robin / Jul 9 2020 6:08 am

    No, you can’t pick your family. At least not the one you’re born into. Nothing like some drama to whirl the dirt and dust around. Hope the storm recedes.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 10 2020 5:20 pm

      Will weather this fairly easily since I cut off contact many years ago – and tried to remind Staff here why…but the kids wanted their kids to know “family” so we relented. And now they know. Over and done – and not even sure she’s managed to run off everyone who was left (out of guilt and “feeling sorry for her”…yeah, Even Charlie Brown has a limit)
      People are as they are. As mom said “Others can’t be mean to you if you walk away and don’t play. Go find others that are nicer and more fun.” Works for me.
      Thanks for wading in and helping to clear the fog

      Like

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