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April 5, 2019 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Suspending hoops – the only hope

Barefoot girl twirling Hula hoop. (1958. Garrigues photo/BeenAroundAWhile/

Safely hooped. Can’t touch that! (Garrigues photo/ BeenAroundAWhile/

Hoop-de-do. The next big thing!  Guarantees  safe, correct social behavior. Suspenders hold the hoop which circles the body to clearly delineate “My space – Your Space – Do not intrude”. (Sized to fit children and adults: Hooped up with 18″-38″ diameters. Personal Space Hoop patent pending.)

I’m floored how so many women can’t back off an Old Goat giving them unwanted attention.

My grandmother could do it. (With and without hat pins)

My Mom could do it (with a steely narrowed eyed teacher’s glare that left no misunderstanding. Done quietly in full view of the public eye with only the one spoken to witnessing the correction. The absolute gold standard of rebuke.)

They made sure I was armed with the basics: sharp elbow in the side, quick high heel crushing into his foot, fingernails digging in his hand, arm, or neck, twist of ear, or the loud slap. All accompanied with a stern “Do that again, mister, and you’ll regret it” said at the voice level appropriate to the situation. The guy might laugh self-consciously, would find someone else to bother talk with, and will think twice around you. Worked.

Girl with twirling hoop on her arm 1960. (Seattle Archives/

“Young lady, put your hoop back on! Until your demonstrate mastery of lessons, you wear that. Never forget there are foolish Old Goats out there. (Seattle Archives/

All these women who suddenly, years later, feel tearfully victimized by some Old Goat out there:  Stop blaming society. Sit down with the ones who failed you.

Your mother, fathers, sisters, older brothers, aunts, cousins, those who raised you.

Look them in the eye and demand to know “Why didn’t you tell me. Why didn’t you give me the skills?”

Astonishing lack of skills to navigate society may be another unfortunate result of outsourcing parenting. Wolves do a better job.

Still after all the marches, the speakers, girl power programs, the “No, means No” initiative, after all the women’s anthems, women can’t find the strength and self-confidence to say “Keep your hands to yourself, you Old Goat”?

Oh, please. Enough. Even Nancy Drew or Lisa Simpson could manage that.

Girl and boy fighting. (1911 suffrage postcard/USPD,, artist life/

1911 Suffrage postcard. Do I have to draw instructional pictures? (USPD/

The timing of all these “fragile” women popping out of the woodwork with their Biden encounters, sounds suspiciously like a social media/ social justice warrior campaign of character assassination to thin the presidential candidate field.

It’s not like nobody ever noticed his touchy nature before.  Sounds of “crickets” for years.

Looks like the next 2 years are going to be brutal as groups slug it out for power – with major use of data and social media.

Could be entertaining if you can step back and not get emotionally overheated.

The new techniques of campaigning are intriguing.

Beto O’Rourke’s is quite savvy about technology and used it extremely effectively during his Senate run. If you want to review how it was constructed and operated, you’ll enjoy this article: a heads-up on Beto’s finely tuned skills.

There are signs that Beto’s election machine’s strategies are already at work.

More than discussion of his actual Congressional record.

Who knows. He may run rings around all the others. It’ll be fun.

 Girl lecturing boy. 1912 suffrage postcard (USPD., artist life/

“Listen, Buster. Try that again and you’ll draw back a bloody stub.” Just a suggestion from older brother.(1912 Suffrage postcard/USPD/

Meanwhile, in order to assist those delicate flowers unable to get around in the world without assistance, the Personal Space Hoop accessory will soon be available.

Now if I can only complete the prototype of the sound-canceling “Cone of Personal Silence and Sanity” dome before the final days of the Presidential campaign… We’ll all be tired of the political rhetoric by then.

Hang on to your mind ‘less someone else grabs it, leaving you mindless…

Would you really mind?

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

Anyone who grew up with a competitive older sibling, can identify with this video.

A good self-reliant, self-confident “I can conquer anything” anthem worth a listen

Not just mouthing buzz words, but demonstrating ability with specific actions.

Gotta love Ethel



  1. Kate Crimmins / Apr 5 2019 12:10 pm

    We were absolutely brought up by the same mother. Direct tactics in real time work best. Perhaps we need really big hoops for the meek. Hoping today’s parents are doing a better job.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 5 2019 1:33 pm

      There will always be the vulnerable, the starry eyed – the ones who are flattered by power and send mixed messages and believe the married man will leave his wife – those may need hoops attached. Marilyn Monroe tragically wasn’t tough enough – and she was smart.
      I almost hope this is a collective strategic targeting – or else we/society has a monster problem: all the money spent, the efforts/programs made, the school curriculum rewritten (not always for the betterment of boys either), all the time spent on arming girls with self esteem – we get THIS? Oh, please.
      Sigh.Must be hard raising kids in this whacky, sometimes baffling backwards world.
      Musicals are a good distraction. And butterflies. And fish ponds Hope you have good weather this Spring Weekend!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Kate Crimmins / Apr 5 2019 1:55 pm

        I definitely think strategic targeting. He’s a front runner and hasn’t thrown his hat in the ring. Cat videos are a good distraction. Of course I have the real cats to distract me.

        Liked by 1 person

        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 5 2019 4:29 pm

          Few outside TX know much about him – there’s a few skeletons rattling around. We were isn a targeted area and his campaign was a constant barrage. Gads. He had so much money (there’s a few tricks with that…they have a subscription plan and ways deep pockets can give without the appearance of “having accepted money from big donors/companies…”) he had constant TV commercials – each night it seemed they looked at data/buzz words/daily hot issues and would slightly modify the commercial for the next day. It got so overwhelming.
          So many just shut down, voted early, then went outside – as far away as possible. A very interesting character (called Robert in NYC – he was a nanny for a bit)- wanted to be a rock and roll star, but decided to run for president instead? I was really hoping he would consider wandering the back roads to discover who he is – become his own man instead of what others wanted. Besides the country could use another balladeer.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. pensitivity101 / Apr 5 2019 12:16 pm

    I wasn’t afraid to tell someone to back off. I had it in the workplace and told him that I didn’t like it and to keep his distance. No problem, though the other girls encouraged it. I stood firm.
    I once said ‘If you aren’t a doctor or my husband, you keep your hands to yourself!’

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 5 2019 4:07 pm

      That’s a great quote/phrase to use. Like you say, speaking up firmly – at the time/immediately – makes the difference in behavior. Thanks for adding a comment

      Liked by 1 person

  3. shoreacres / Apr 5 2019 12:29 pm

    Either they believe they’re victims, or they’re pretending to be victims. Neither is attractive, and strong, competent women throughout society are rolling their eyes. It was my dad who taught me how to make a fist, and when I knocked the glasses off a guy in the middle of the street in Cedar Falls, Iowa (c. 1968), the only thing Daddy asked was, “Did you remember to keep your thumb on the outside?”

    Liked by 3 people

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 5 2019 4:14 pm

      When you read the actual words these individuals utter, you just have to shake your head in disbelief. What’s the deal? Desperate for attention (victimhood is such a big draw on social media, I guess) or herd mentality with peer pressure? The sad thing is that these light “sort of/made me uncomfortable” accusations really hurt women who experience actual sexual harassment. violence, or rape. When will the media stand up and call them on it instead of “poor baby-ing” it. Oh, wait, not news anymore – entertainment and ratings.
      HA! Thumb on the outside! What a great dad you had. Thanks for slugging it out to leave a comment here

      Liked by 1 person

    • LordBeariOfBow / Apr 19 2019 10:19 pm

      Smart daddy 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Ally Bean / Apr 5 2019 3:04 pm

    Many women are so afraid of not being popular that they’ll put up with way too much unwanted attention. Fortunately as a child I was told over and over again that life’s not a popularity contest, so I have no problem establishing boundaries and channeling my inner Nancy Reagan as I just say NO!

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 5 2019 4:18 pm

      Sadly, you’re probably right about the popularity seeking – at the time, then years later to join a crowd in the feeding frenzy. Parents are probably the key in teaching to look long term and avoid silly pitfalls that may leave regrets.
      I forgot Nancy. She’d be a good strong one to emulate. Thanks for bringing her to the party

      Liked by 1 person

  5. sustainabilitea / Apr 5 2019 5:50 pm

    I’m always sick of the political rhetoric. As for overly familiar men, tell ’em to take hike or give them a good elbow somewhere, where depending on how familiar they’re trying to be.


    Liked by 3 people

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 5 2019 6:24 pm

      Most find it’s easy to make a point and stand up for yourself at the time something happens. I am working long hours to perfect that personal cone of silence…we’re gonna need it – as many candidates as mosquitoes! Thanks for reinforcing the “buzz off, Buddy.”

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Manywoman / Apr 6 2019 10:30 am
  7. Manywoman / Apr 6 2019 10:33 am

    Totally love your blog and follow often. I have reblogged this one on my own site because it speaks so perfectly to my own experience and opinions. Thank you! ~Karin E Weiss (aka Manywoman)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. RKLikesReeses / Apr 6 2019 3:18 pm

    People need to be ready for the world. No kids, so I can only imagine how tough it must be to do that without going overboard and scaring them.
    As far as personal space goes, I like mine expansive and let people know that as subtly as possible. But when “subtle” doesn’t work I automatically send signals to BACK OFF – or so I’ve been told. Strangers approach to talk but not touch. Maybe it’s like one of those “This house is protected by an attack dog” signs? Haaa!
    Love how you wrote this! The hoops and the cones! Perfect!
    Not looking forward to the frenzy of politicking, the crush of lies that are coming at us. Good that we can do but I wish it were more…ummm…humane.
    Super post!


  9. Curt Mekemson / Apr 6 2019 4:22 pm

    I think the vast majority of people, including women, share your perspective, Phil. I do. –Curt

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 7 2019 7:23 am

      That you think so is encouraging- otherwise if so much makes people “uncomfortable” and they don’t have the ability to handle it resolve the problem gracefully, with dignity, with appropriate restraint and without any mixed messages – at the time – society has a big problem. So much time and money directed at self esteem.
      Of course the media is always looking for stories that will enflame emotions and cause knee jerk reactions – great for ratings.
      People need to start saying enough is enough – oh, wait, it’s not journalism or news any more – just entertainment.
      (Hear Burning Man is once again fighting BLM…this time it’s trash not wanting dumpsters and neighboring communities complaining event trash yes is being cleaned up and not left on site – but being left in their communities instead? Oy vey. Gotta find a solution that works for everyone)
      Thanks for sending up a smoke signal comment


      • Curt Mekemson / Apr 10 2019 4:12 pm

        The other side of the equation with the media, its good to have them out their digging and reporting. I’m not sure we can ever depend upon politicians to speak ‘the whole truth and nothing but the truth.” And now it seems to be getting worse, dangerously so. I do remember things being more balanced in the era of three stations. It is all to easy now to tune into a station that best reflects what ever your prejudices happen to be. I’m guilty of that myself.
        Burning Man has a major environmental impact and at least tries to mitigate some of the problems it creates. Many of the small communities have trash containers where Burners are charged $5 per bag of garbage. To bad the policy isn’t like that of the wilderness; pack t in and pack it out. Unfortunately, there are a certain number of people who pack up their vehicles and leave their trash for others to handle. Still, in comparison to the lot at a major sporting or musical event, Burning Man is squeaky clean. Volunteers go through every square foot of the venue afterwards and pick up any thrash they find. Records are kept to identify certain problem areas, i.e. where a village doesn’t police its own area. –Curt

        Liked by 1 person

        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 10 2019 5:01 pm

          Station/media slant is another reason you have to read widely and piece together what is probably actually happening. That means including reading articles around the world ( several languages – gives interesting perspectives even if not from here) and the necessity of running down authoritative primary sources when faced with quotes from people (must have context, too) and unsupported facts/arguments. It’s gotten like a scavenger hunt…without the fun HAHA
          Burning Man rocks. Some understand pack in, pack out and leave no trace (there or outside)
          There’s always a few that have to ruin events for everyone.


          • Curt Mekemson / Apr 13 2019 12:47 pm

            Finding the truth can be a full-time profession, especially when it is so easily discarded!
            As for Burning Man, lots of folks come to party 24/7, which isn’t necessarily the best environment for environmental concerns. One story amused me. A Burner reported into BMO that he returned to his campsite after a long night of partying to discover that his car, tent, food and personal gear had all been stolen. Burning Man arranged a ride back to SF for the unfortunate fellow. A week after the event, Burning Man called to tell him they had found his car, tent, and gear— right where he had left them. He had simply forgot where they were after his night of partying. –Curt

            Liked by 1 person

  10. LordBeariOfBow / Apr 19 2019 10:23 pm

    A lot of these women coming out with their accusations strike me as just wanting to get on the bandwagon and hopefully score a few quid at the same time.
    Strange how it’s all suddenly just coming out into the open.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 21 2019 4:06 pm

      So sad how many people are so desperate for attention that they are swept up in any mob that parades by. Yep, your last sentence says it all. Thanks

      Liked by 1 person

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