Note the box

Yes, yes, the box remains – in a chair in clear sight of the counter. As a lesson to the new arrival. We shall get to that.

Make yourself useful since you are here: chop that canned tuna a bit to stew chunks and add a drip or two of warm water – No, Dunderhead, We said stew not mush in broth. Now you’ll have to add more tuna. There. At least adequate if not epicurean. In reward, you may remain in Our presence and watch Us dine as they did with Marie Antoinette.

Sad what happened to her, you sigh?  She hung around too long – cut it too close. A smarter monarch would have shipped herself out with the jewels. Or been wise enough to make more cakes. Always remember: good manners and commonsense means if you bring something, bring enough for all.

No, you may not snack on the leftover tuna in the can. The nerve to ask.

Boxed about the ears. What? No We are not suggesting punishment. It’s obvious there is a box at the table – and before you are foolish to ask, it is not  boxed seats like at the Opera. That cardboard monolith with the green lettering. It is there as a warning: We have the box AND the receipt.

And as you see, the old coffee machine still remains – also in plain sight….as if Staff would allow more unexpected, disruptive leaks – Worse than DC…How disgusting.

Both The Molly and Ourselves were quite offended that Staff would even consider that puddle of water beside the cabinet had any connection to either of Us….obviously, The Molly’s unfortunately food bolts are deposited at the back door and for Ourself, when attention is required or We wish special pity foods, We leave liquid notification in either the bathroom or bedroom doorway for immediate results…

Ah, so nice of you to stop by to provide an audience as We dine for a visit.

Ah, yes. A heated blanket and sunny window. All right with the world…but We shall keep and eye on the new machine until it has warmed life in the Realm. (© image)

Staff? Oh, as it is sunny and a birthday, We have been forced to let her wander off unattended and without a supply list insisted she-who-feeds journey to Gulfside for fun, sun, and seafood.

Everyone likes seafood and We slipped a note in requesting all left overs be boxed and returned….so we sample out of concerns – to make sure the fare was appropriate… Additionally, as Ruler of the Realm, We take care to take care of Staff: natural light is well acknowledge for health and for maintaining good eyesight….Staff must be able to see the puddles and have sharp vision to interpret the puddles accurately.

While Staff is on approved R&R, We shall keep an eye on the new replacement coffee machine – making it aware that if performance is not perfect, We have the box.

Ah, you are yawning.

It is tedious work to sit and stare without end. We understand your short attention span frail nature.

Out of gratitude you may leave your tribute can of tuna or salmon by the door.

On your way out.

We graciously acknowledge your tears of happiness.

You are thrilled. We can see that.

Now carry on. Our paw has waved!

Audience fini

Adieu!

I am RC Cat and I approve this message.

 

 

---

Discover more from Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

Subscribe to get the latest posts to your email.