Turning turtle

If a Tesla can go into space, who’s to question? (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

There’s a reason turtles live a long time. They don’t do home renovations.

And they swim, acknowledged as low impact exercise. (slight adjustments to avoid sharks – just like land life.)

Not being born with suitable accommodations, people seem to be constantly jammering and hammering to create the ideal refuge for the end of the day – swimming in the vast sea of home repair aisles.

It’s got to be an illness. 

I’m not going into all the nail gun shootings through the hand, or feet through the just completed kitchen ceiling, but been there, done that – with a townhouse and three houses. Not for flipping. Not with contractors. Tearing out walls is great job stress relief. Although putting in long steel beams to replace walls is only funny now. At the time, home projects were everyone we knew spare time hobby and entertainment…when the weather was too bad for sailing.

Having grown weary (and less nimble), this house was supposed to be “done” – just live in it.

Ah, the memories of living for months after totally gutting the kitchen.(USPD/Commons.wikmedia.org)

You know, addiction lapses:

“Oh, allergies. Let’s jerk out the carpet and put in wood floors again.” (Of course we found fabulous close out cheap wood…took a bit of time calling and driving to get enough. But, hey, wood never wears out. Done is done.)

“Oh, the fireplace surround is so bland. Split rock would really go well with the floor.” (Of course, the was before split rock was fashionable – read that as easily available. I’m not even sure how we knew about it. But the importer in Florida was so happy to help us and get news of the product out. And once done, ahhh – like a mountain retreat in the winter.)

“Oh, Look at this teak industrial ceiling fan with black housing on close out. How cool to replace the living room’s ugly gold and white fan. And it would go with the floor and the fireplace.” (Fans are important here both summer and winter, but ugly hangs heavy over your head. Unfortunately, we’ll need to also put in some recessed lights on a separate light switch to complete the look…someday…)

Suddenly “Oh, can you believe this? Another teak fan just like the first one – even cheaper! Discontinued. How can people not love these? A serious air mover that will go great in the master bedroom – and the dog will love it all the summers’ nights long and get off the bed!” (Of course that final bit bought the fan…which sat in its’ box on the floor so long, RC Cat considered it a deck built just for her under the sunny window.)

And they said classes in cake decoration were a waste of time and money.(USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

All last summer we mused “Oh, it’s too hot to get in the attic. Once it cools down we’ll get that stuff done.”

We suddenly realized a couple of days ago, it’s after Valentines Day and winter’s about done. Already 80’s F. a couple of days.

I know. That groundhog. 

But if you really looked at the poor shivering thing, he was quaking like a carjacking victim pleading “Just tell me what you want. I’ll say anything. Please just let me go.”

As we debate whether to stay here or move one more time, the fact is we’ve got to get this house done.

I’ve heard rumors some people have hobbies that do not often involve ER trips and band aids.(USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

It’s causing much emotional distress – to the animals.

Molly Malamute hates ladders – a terrifying souvenir of her previous life somehow. We don’t know. If it’s not raining she can go outside, but of course…

RC Cat has to be closed up in her inner sanctum bath and closet loft suit to keep her from scrambling up the drop down ladder and claiming the attic as her new luxury penthouse – and requesting “a few skylights, please”.

Both of them are pretty on edge with the smoke alarm change outs – as long as we’ve got the ladders available and doing stuff. Hey, smoke alarms do wear out and this new system can contact us if something goes off. (Half of staff worries about the dog being stuck inside and driven crazy by a shrieking irritated irrational smoke alarm going off while we’re gone…for some reason the cat isn’t worried about…not buying the excuse “She’s already crazy.”)

Of course all of this involves electrical and shutting power off and on from the outside electrical box.

Of course it’s raining.

And of course, as soon as this is done, we’re done. (In more ways than one)

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

Not a Uber choice. (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

And now a word from RC Cat: 

The Realm was faced with torrential storms last night with lightning and thunder so loud that We, worrying taking Our responsibilities of making sure those in Our care are safe and reassured seriously, leaped onto the bed in the darkness – only to find what We thought was an “island of safety in storm waters” was actually a dog. Out of habit duty, We performed the Hiss of Authority mandated by protocol before allowing all to settle in for the duration.

Dog reconnaissance reveals several inches of standing water along the gate side of the Outer Realm.

Once again Our thoughts turn to flooding.

Which makes Us wonder if those who are in City of Houston planning, permitting, and flood control are turtles with their heads stuck inside their comfy shells.

How else to explain allowing a large senior citizen development to start up right on the border of Addicks Reservoir and within the reservoir flood pool? Remember this is an area where homes, many still uninhabitable, had waist deep water during the last destructive deluge. “Senior Housing development near Addicks Reservoir raises concerns.”

Do they expect a couple of hundred old people to exercise in a pool everyday to prepare them for swimming out when it floods? Will the development showcase a wetlands area occupied by large turtles that can be used a ferries in case of a storm?

Where’s that darn turtle? I called for a Lyft not a spontaneous turtle underwater ballet.(USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

On top of that, the developer/builders were busted for attempting to drain their swamp in order to build by using pumps to move water from the site to public lands – but unfortunately the water flowed into a small creek and low areas up against neighboring property and fences. Later yesterday, the Corps of Engineers put a stop to that saying it was illegal to drain property by pumping it onto public lands and to cause flooding to neighboring property. The Corps says they are putting someone on site to make sure it stops. “Senior living development near Addicks Reservoir causing water issues for nearby homes.”

We may be catty, but We are disturbed humans make many of their problems themselves.

The world might be better if humans were constructed like turtles. Although there would be the issue of needing functioning staff. 

You are free to leave now. Audience over.

Yes, yes, We are quite aware how long this post is.

Blame that on Staff’s dithering.

Read it in several sittings. There. Problem solved.

Run along now….or unless you are willing to work gratis as substitute staff. We shall be so pleased when the sun returns and this home redo madness it done.

Now slide that can of tribute this way.

I Am RC Cat and I approve this message.

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