Controversy of home languages

“Speak as you will, but one photo, then these outfits are going to be stuffed in the trunk.”(USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Dad was raised with it.

Maybe because it was an old country thing.

Mom, on the other hand, forbid it in our house.

Perhaps the result of generations migrating to the big city. Determined to get fur away.

I don’t speak cat

Despite years of attempted tutoring by native speakers.

My attempts: clumps of mishandling and littering efforts.

Who knew which annoyed announcement explained that the thousands – it seemed like thousands – of grey puddles plopped everywhere – especially in the most difficult surfaces to clean – were clearly retaliation  in response to:

“Foolish Staff left the box of Cheesenips in an easily accessible spot on the coffee table and, being accepting of diverse tribute attempts, We, the RC Cat of the Realm, carefully snaked out  and sneaked out one orange pillow treat and rushed quickly to avoid detection returned to Our secret spot where We thought no one would find Us lounge and reveled in the forbidden leisurely nibbled the offering. It is Staff’s fault! Severe tummy rebellion to emphasize Staff must be more attentive….and stock less poison more special delicacies to amuse Us. And what to you so long to find the evidence? So predictable. Borderline incompetence and laziness. But what can One expect from humans.”

“Outrageous. The Christmas lights finally taken down and packed away. No one is fooled that these remained to warm palm feet in frigid weather. Festive? Nonsense. Not even the right color for Mardi Gras. Dunderheads! The Realm has a reputation to protect! (Image:©)

Who could possible understand that stoic pose by the litter box Facility of the Grains of Necessity and Convenience was body language for:

“We were forced to use the alternative cardboard sticking out under the Facilities as the regular material is disgusting. Staff ‘freshening’ does not fool Us. “

(This accompanied by loud, insistent feline instructional mutterings as RC Cat unsheathes one long elegant nail, stretches out a paw just like a ballerina opening on stage, and delicately – cautiously – firmly – points to a tiny spot…)

“There. Right there. It’s obvious. The third absorbent grain to the left and two inches down below the surface. Staff must had nasal congestion not to smell it. Now that We have brought this issue to your attention, We leave you to your work. Without even demanding an apology or thanks that We considerately did not use the bath mat. You are welcome.”

Mother said cats belonged in barns.

Sometimes she was right.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

Younger model rearing to start toddler herding.(USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Production note: The exhausting rewarding months of assisting The German with toddler herding hopefully are over with that Realm’s Staff’s broken arm healed and a new Toddler Vaquero hired there.

RC seems to have spent the entire time writing a long To Do List. The recent hard freezes have meant more time needing to be spent preparing house and landscape. (Denver, Colorado has been warmer that this location many times this winter. La Nina weather pattern winters which are so cold and extremely wet happen periodically. Not Chamber of Commerce weather.) Molly Malamute is being the “good child” and huddling close. She visibly droops if suitcases come out, clothes are stacks within her sight, or if I get in the car. Sled dogs have strong pack instincts. She’s ready and willing to assist with landscape rehabilitation….already dug a few practice holes to demonstrate.

I want to thank all for their patience over the past few months. I’ll slowly be responding to comment, and getting back up to speed with reading and posting.

Thanks again. 

“See? The good child” (Image: ©)

 

 

 

 

 

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