Gators gathering shark advice.

Pardon me. You said third door on the left? (Rasberry/Wikimedia.org)

Don’t drink and dive with gators.

Gators know people stupidly think no one will notice an addition of warm yellow water in a swamp.  Seriously, anyone would get testy if that happened in their living room. Probably snap at the fool, too.

You say, “Fetch.”
Gators say, “Dinner.” (Beckner/Flickr/Wikimedia.org)

Resist asking gators to participate in object retrieval games in water.

Being budget travelers, gators get confused and think it’s room service.

Forget inviting these introverts to block parties.

Social situations too stressful.

The shy ones may make an appearance, then try and grab a few a few snacks and carry them off.

Hey look! Appetizer trays for gator gatherings.

Recently sharks have made it clear that they are sick of annual summer intruders, perhaps gators are snapping, too.

Just never know what’s behind a smile

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

“Mom, that log moved. Called me an hors d’oeuvre. Reel me in. Leash alert!” (Bennett/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Gator paparazzi:

• “Blind gator caught in Ft. Worth’s Trinity River”/park (CBS/DFW local). Too blind to know he was near people and should hide, he wasn’t hurting anyone – even at 10 feet long. Probably washed down by spring floods. Paddle boarders and kayakers were maneuvering around him, but sooner or later the Tx Parks and Wildlife people knew someone would start tossing chickens at him. “There’s alligators probably through here all the time,” he said, pointing to the Trinity River. ‘You’d never know they were here. ‘Cause they don’t want you know. they don’t want nothing to do with you, they’re swimming on by.’ ”
  “Once on land the gator he captured was pretty well-mannered. ‘He never hissed, he never growled; once we got him up on the bank and tape off, he was just as nice and docile as an alligator can be.’ ” This lucky gator was released into the wild in location far from people.
• “Gator kills man swimming in marina bayou”. (Video) Drunk wouldn’t listen – not to people or posted signs. First fatal alligator attack in over 90 years here. A friend hunted down the 11 1/2 foot gator and killed it. Game wardens are not going to press charges.
• “Son and father survive alligator attack in Chambers Co.” (Video) Family decides to swim in a swampy area. A desperate struggle.

Gators, belonging to an ancient order, aren’t interested in diversity in their exclusive swamp country clubs. So sue them, but wouldn’t advise pursuing them.(screenshot.click2houston.com)

 

 

 

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