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September 5, 2014 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Strays. Thoughtful ones at least.

Poor mother and child.1919 movie: Daddy Long Legs/ Mary Pickford/Film Fun/US PD:pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org

The first step is to admit the problem. Then there’s probably paperwork – in triplicate. Might as well laugh to lighten the load. Then there’s half a problem. Or is that half wit? There you are. Done. No problem.(1919.Mary Pickford/US PD:pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Is it a virus? Genetic? Addiction? Face it. I have a problem with strays: animals, people, notions, weird facts.

It’s just impossible not to see those pathetic faces – desperate postures. Somewhere there’s a home for each and every one. Oh, talking about the thoughts and facts. Wild abandoned thoughts. Now that’s really sad.

Things intentionally sense what will appeal and immediately adopt the most needy pose once a vacancy is spotted.

Plant Nursery sign. Dorothea Lange 1895-1965/NARA.1372774/US P:by fed.employee/Commons.wikimedia.org

Hear those desperate little voices? Click the plant link that follows. Run. Run far. Run fast.(Lange 1895-1965//US fed.employee/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Even plants….you know those racks of half-priced-nobody-wants plants at the store?

I swear the earth tilts so the outcasts’ rack rolls right into my path. …”A bit of water, and they will be fine”. Raised eyebrows by those around the weak explanation as they move away: it might be catching.

But don’t want to bore you. Got to be piggy with time.

Wild boar running as mink and beaver watch.1921.Argosy of Fables.Cooper/Bransom,ill./NYPub.Lib/USPD:pub.date/commons.wikimedia.org)

Stick around if you want. I’m not waiting for a fairy tale ending.(1921Bransom/ USPD:pub.date/commons.wikimedia.org)

Time and time again, they warned, it’s not on your side.

In Kansas, anyway…Stomp and click those hooves together all you want, there’s no homey place for feral hogs in Kansas anymore.

Oh, that’s a little harsh reality, but the only place feral hogs are tolerated there is in Bourbon County in SE part of the state. Before breathing a sigh of animal rights’ relief, it’s not really a refuge. Landowners refuse to allow USDA biologists and Kansas Dept of Ag. to bait traps or allow aerial gunning by helicopter. Not out of benevolence, though. They apparently enjoy hunting feral hogs with dogs.

So be don’t be mislead piggies. Just know if hogs gone wild get out of that area, there’s hired guns looking for them.

Texas and Oklahoma are taking note of Kansas’ eradication success. First thing might be confronting hunters/game ranches who purchase live-trapped hogs in order to establish feral hog populations.

Then discourage their runs into other states.(Are they after Blue Bell ice cream? Protest insulting football mascots? Looking for a ride in order to visit European relatives in  the old country? Fall always seems to encourage family reunions.)

A place for everything and everything in its’ place? 

In case of whole hog adoration, catch them here: “Feral hogs? Not in Kansas anymore”

WIld hogs.feral boars.US Fish and WIldlife Service.Steve Hillebrand/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Marge, grab some snacks and gather the kids. We’ll never get to your sister’s before dark at this rate. Roads getting crowded. (USPD: US FWLS.Hillebrand/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

Been hearing some glowing reports of feral hogs in Germany.

Marauding wild boars are taking it to the streets.

Are they upset by Simpson’s use of Blinky, the fish out of a river that is downstream from Springfield’s Nuclear Reactor? Totally irritating. (Especially to that fish caught in Argentina.)

The feral hogs didn’t ask to be radioactive from the nuclear meltdown at Chernobyl, but had expected some extra liberties since it happened. Hoping to discourage the European appetite for their meat, the wild hogs continued to dig truffles and mushrooms which efficiently absorbs radioactivity. It’s been a challenge to keep contaminated meat off the dinner tables.

Counting on human guilt, boars seem to be demanding to enjoy the freedom found on the autobahn.  Faster transportation is a plus when you have big boarish families. Germany’s got a wild boar baby boom with milder winters and more corn being planted.

So radioactive boars: 1. Hunters – oh, also 1 as they get paid for lost income. Diners of delicacies? Wheel of Fortune for probably the next 50 years.

More? Hoof over: “A Quarter of a Century after Chernobyl: Radioactive Boar on the Rise in Germany”

Avoiding bores is pretty universal.

(1920.Mary Pickford pub.still. Suds.United Artists/US PD.pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

She’s out there. All alone! ((1920.Mary Pickford/United Artists/US PD.pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Cows just want to have fun. Didn’t anyone warn this one about hitchhiking?

Can’t trust people. Often doesn’t end well.

Easily led. Trusting in the kindness of strangers. Lured by talk of wide open spaces?

Who knows, but wonder if a seat belt extension was offered. Did the seatback pocket have a bag for crud?

Do hope there wasn’t too much turbulence with bins and doors popping open. (And why does that one get to sit in the exit row? Really. Doesn’t look willing or capable of assisting others out in an emergency. I protest.)

Perhaps she wanted fame. Willing to tolerate an unflattering camera angle.

The plot was mooving, but by now she may realize movie producers in compact cars are not to be trusted. Should have waited for that Limousin – Limousin cattle call, that is. Sigh. The French  – so well-bred.

There are those concerned about the daring cow riding off in search of the meaning of life. Peta is protesting the cow was forced and wasn’t going under her own free wheel. You decide. View the video: “Peta investigates cow being forced into car”

Cow formally dressed.Aesop's fable. 1857. Charles Bennett1828-1867:US PD. pub.date:reprod of PD art:artist life:Commons.wikimedia.org)

Now that’s some bull.(Aesop’s.Bennett/US PD. pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Thoughts are wandering, too…and I’d better go catch them…the neighbors, you know.

Hey, close that gate tightly when you leave.

Anything wrapped and clutching your ankles or stuck to your soul, well, consider that yours.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

Read more?

Vintage Seed catalogue.Theodore Payne/CA Hisotrical Society/USPD:pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

It’s a pain you never really know what will grow from what you plant, but you can always say the seed company got things mixed up. Theodore realized that.(Payne/CA.Historical Society/USPD:pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

 


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17 Comments

  1. Ally Bean / Sep 5 2014 2:23 pm

    I read about those feral radioactive boars in Germany… and my head exploded. Too many weird issues in one news story. We don’t have the same sort of probs around here: hungry deer and an occasional lost black bear are our unwanted news leads. Also a stray cow or two that wanders into suburbia. I live in a delightfully dull place, don’t I?

    Like

  2. katecrimmins / Sep 5 2014 2:30 pm

    I have the same disease you do. Weird things are attracted to me no matter what it or they are. Best to lock the doors!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 5 2014 3:54 pm

      We considered traps, but were confused by what bait to use….and once curiosities accumulated inside, well, if you ever name them…you know the rest. Thanks for gathering up a comment

      Like

  3. pegoleg / Sep 5 2014 3:56 pm

    I have the same problem with the half-price, half-dead plants, and I’m no good even with vibrant, healthy ones! I bought a couple of flats at an auction about a month ago, and they all completed their death march shortly after I brought them home.

    THanks for linking to the LAFF challenge. Together, we can beat this dreadful scourge.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 5 2014 4:16 pm

      Couldn’t chicken out – that post was hilarious…Someone should contact wordpress about Fresh Pressing that one.
      Someone who Tweets, please: “Recommend a post. tweet it to WP at @freshly_pressed.”
      (PS.Discovered I’d better mark every post “HUMOR” People just take things much too seriously)
      Thanks for scattering some feathers

      Like

  4. easyweimaraner / Sep 5 2014 4:07 pm

    I have this “problem” too. The one legged plush mouse, the coffee cup with a chip or the orchids from the garden center (they would throw them in the trash can and as I said I want them, they demanded two bucks per piece…that vultures) all that lonely things land in my cart :o)

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 5 2014 4:23 pm

      We have a lovely queen palm found in a dumpster – being the runt of the litter, it had given up all hope that cold January – not dreams of surviving the impending frost…weakly waved a frond out of desperation. Didn’t complain when held by the throat and dragged across the floor to the manager. And they charged us, too! Land of the Lost here, too. Paw waves!

      Like

  5. Robin / Sep 5 2014 7:55 pm

    Interesting article about plants. I’ve often thought the plants here in this jungle on the Eastern Shore are intelligent and know just what they’re doing. Not in a creepy way, either (although some do creep). Love the Bucket O Chicken challenge. 🙂

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 5 2014 8:10 pm

      That’s one of several plant intelligence articles stashed away – intriguing. Wonder if we should be thinking differently about them….(the answer’s probably in the Rain Forest, Right?). Consciousness, kindness, respect for all living things a wise choice. Thanks for tossing a few feathers and giggling along

      Like

  6. EllaDee / Sep 5 2014 11:34 pm

    We’re in good company it seems, on the wavelengths of “unwanted” items who follow the vibes and us home.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 6 2014 5:57 pm

      Is it like a weed only something growing in the wrong place? Value and use all a matter of perception. You know no matter what you are throwing away, somewhere someone is desperately wanting it…..but there is a matter of space. Time to re-home some items. Hope your weekend is pleasant and relaxing

      Like

  7. shoreacres / Sep 6 2014 1:49 pm

    I pulled my ficus from a dumpster. Years later, it’s doing just fine, although it needs another prune to keep it balcony-sized. But that very sentence points to my problem — I’m tempted to give anything that will root from cuttings its own pot. Oh, my. I’ve had to curtail that. I may have to curtail it some more. Apparently I have perfect conditions for prickly pear.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 6 2014 6:06 pm

      Can I interest you in some variated airplane plants, uh, some Drachina cuttings, or lovely yellow blooming Mexican daisy-ish something, lantana cuttings?…tossing them into the trash is so cruel…but they are taking over. WInter usually solves that every year or so….dog getting awfully thick coat. (When I set up the roadside plant stand, I’ll give you a call and you can stack the wagon and roll plants over) Thanks for planting a comment
      Hey, Miss Dixie, being a bit bored by the heat and closed windows, might enjoy this little Hamster http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoJVGFGhuVM

      Like

  8. jannatwrites / Sep 6 2014 7:27 pm

    I’d not heard of the radioactive hogs. Weird. I had to laugh at your, “Avoiding bores is pretty universal” line! I feel terrible about the half-dead plants, but I can’t provide them a home… they would have a better chance anywhere else other than my care 🙂

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Sep 6 2014 8:58 pm

      Just when you think hogs can’t get any more annoying…now they are radioactive…should be some sci-fi plots working out there on this one…
      Don’t turn your back on faltering plants – all they ask is to spend their final days outdoors and able to see the sky instead of a metal container. Besides, if you stick them under a bush and totally ignore them for months and month, oddly many seem to find a second leaf…wonder if some are like cats and have 9 lives? Do some wander until they select their homes?
      Mulch on! Thanks for giggling along

      Like

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