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November 8, 2022 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Tooth in advertising

King of the Fish statue. (image: RUBUZ-Astra/

There’s one born every minute.(RUBUZ-Astra/

A conspiracy – one going back for decades – maybe centuries: The Goldfish Affair

Based on the ploy by elementary school carnivals: “Win a goldfish!”

“Oh, sure,” the parent says mindlessly. “We have a goldfish bowl somewhere in the garage.” (Gold fish never live long anyway, right?)

Only this time – and it’s a plot I tell you – the darn fish thrives on the kitchen counter and grows larger and larger daily. Guilt tripping all who believe “everything should be all it can be”.

Outgrew his watery environments at an alarmingly rapid rate. There are just so many garage sale aquariums  (requiring new pumps, gravel, and fish furnishing) in ever increasing sizes available.

Not to mention the ever diminishing space on the kitchen counter (“Mom remember, we’re getting to keep the science class guinea pig over the holidays!…She may be having babies!”)

We were finally able to unload donate the fish who outgrew all fish bowls to a new county arboretum opening nearby which was happy to have a giant pretty fish to stock their new fish pond.

We used to visit. He got even bigger.

Who knew goldfish grow to fit their environments if nutrients are readily available.

Hovering Fairy talking to fish in pond...who is about ready to eat it. JD Batten's Indian Fairy Tales 1892 (USPD artist life,

“Come closer little mosquito. I can’t hear you…(Batten’s Indian Fairy Tales 1892 (USP/

Apparently, this is true with dogs also.

Hank, the Happy Husky, exhibits all the signs of a Goldfish Conspiracy.

He seemed a bit small for a 2 year old husky when he leaped out of his shelter run into Sr. Staff’s waiting arms.

I thought after years of wrangling 90 lb. Molly Malamute, maybe a smaller dog would be a good thing right now.

So much for wishful thinking.

Hank is the dog version of a goldfish. But that’s OK. 

Luckily, life does provide plenty of comic relief. Some with toothy grins and muddy paws.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

Hank lounging half on and half off his bed. ( image copyrighted, all rights reserve no permissions granted)

Oh, yeah, that looks comfortable. But he never complains (© image)

Hank asleep on a too small bed (© image copyrighted, all rights reserved, no permissions granted)

Maybe try a little different angle? (© image)

Hank curled up on new bed with pillow (© image copyrighted, all rights reserved, no permissions granted)

“Wait. Brought by the Toothy Fairy? (and foolishly thought that was a myth) Or maybe tribute from an Orange Vegetable Invader hoping for a truce instead of a capture and bake? Wonder of wonders, it’s brand new and not even pre-owned!” (© image)

Hank resting chin on new bed's pillow (© image copyrighted, all rights reserved, no permissions granted)

“It must be true. If you are in the right place, things go right. And dreams do come true.” © image



Leave a Comment
  1. Kate Crimmins / Nov 8 2022 7:25 am

    My cats always get bigger when they come to live here even if they are adults. Gus has put on 4 lbs. (a lot for a cat). The only petite one that stayed that way was Gracie. All the others grew to fill the space!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Helen Devries / Nov 8 2022 7:36 am

    The thugs here resemble barrels on legs…must be all the compost they tread in….

    Liked by 2 people

  3. shoreacres / Nov 8 2022 7:48 am

    He’s an especially handsome boy, but let’s hope the growth spurt’s over. How many pounds does he weigh now?

    Liked by 2 people

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 22 2022 8:18 am

      We’re guessing 70+. Actually he’s now the perfect height – perfect for reaching down to steady or get a little lift up over an incline ( oddly we do have a couple of tiny “hills” along some walking areas. and the “big” hill over by the giant oak tree – which is doing pretty good right now – who would have guessed it has once again dug in and is thriving. Such a nice spot in hot weather….remember hot weather? It – and the mosquitoes- will be back…far too soon probably)
      Bundle up and hibernate through. Thanks for tossing a comment this way


  4. Ally Bean / Nov 8 2022 9:25 am

    He’s cute and no growth spurt is going to change that. What a beautiful dog he is.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. disperser / Nov 8 2022 9:47 am

    That’s why it’s important to keep exercising as we age . . . controlling our dogs (for the record, I don’t have one, but I exercise just in case).

    I often see people who’ve chosen large dogs struggling to hold them back when they’ve a mind to go someplace. Heck, even a medium dog can be a handful.

    Of course, training would help, but only so far (same with kids . . . only worse).

    He’s a handsome fella, that’s for sure.

    Liked by 2 people

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 22 2022 8:26 am

      Fast walking counts right? Luckily Hank doesn’t seem to mind runners pass us.
      The thing about dog and children, expectations have to be established up front followed by patience and consistency…and a big sense of humor. No excuses for either being out of control.
      Molly Malamute was a witty dog who understood and actually played jokes. Hank is settling in – a kind gentle dog who talks a great deal. Probably why other dogs kicked him out of playgroup…you know how annoying yakkity little kids in public can get.
      Thanks for tying up a comment here

      Liked by 1 person

    • disperser / Nov 22 2022 10:47 am

      I might have shared this before, but it’s worth resharing (the longer version):

      Liked by 1 person

      • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 22 2022 3:05 pm

        Greatly appreciate that link. (It woke up Hank …who now wants to stop rehearsing and start recording) Obviously a front runner for some music award show. Smile worthy!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. walkingoffthechessboard / Nov 8 2022 10:08 am

    Hank is definitely in the right place, and his dreams are certainly coming true. A growing, happy “little” guy.

    Liked by 2 people

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 22 2022 8:30 am

      He eats like in Rome- you know, lounging on his bed and wanting the dishes brought to him for munching? Never seen a dog who prefers to lay down and eat out of his bowl. Maybe a sign of a dog crated too much in the past. or just terribly spoiled. The German would grab a mouthful of food and TV. Forget- is it the dog mirrors the owner or the owner miroring the dog? HAHA
      Thanks for the grand wave to paw

      Liked by 1 person

      • walkingoffthechessboard / Nov 22 2022 11:54 am

        That reminds me of a couple of geese I saw this morning. Sitting down on the grass, eating. That always makes me laugh. They carry so much weight on those legs, it does makes sense. Why stand when you can sit?

        Liked by 1 person

  7. SusanR / Nov 8 2022 10:14 am

    Amazing what good nutrition and lots of love can do. Such a handsome boy!

    Liked by 2 people

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 22 2022 8:47 am

      He’s really settling in – less worry in his face and doesn’t panic as much when we leave.
      So far so good. A kind gentle dog – just what was needed (even if he’s not the 90 lbs malamute available Utah..someone go get that dog!)
      (Oh have you noticed the dog rescue foundation now operating at the Rio Grande crossings? Unfortunately people are so sure they will get in they are arriving with pets – only to be told when turning themselves in to Border Patrol that they can stay , but dogs cannot come in – so the poor animals are simple left behind. This one army veteran couldn’t stand the abandonment – and the dogs are having lots and lots of puppies despite the lack of food, ticks, fleas, distemper…all the health dangers – and with volunteers started a foundation and rescue group – hauling 40-50 dogs at a time away from border to vets and then feed and fix them up for adoption online. Happily most of their pups are finding homes. Another consequence no-one predicted from open borders. Bless and protect the little creatures and their protectors)
      Paw waves ( and stay warm in all that snow!)


      • SusanR / Nov 22 2022 10:20 am

        You really have to hate dogs to treat them like disposable property instead of family members.

        Liked by 1 person

        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 22 2022 3:01 pm

          Some people shouldn’t have kids – and some shouldn’t be allowed to have pets.
          Not sure these are the ones best to invite into your community. Yes, values.


  8. pensitivity101 / Nov 8 2022 2:32 pm

    Wonderful, and I recognise the sleep positions. Maya stretches and grows an inch each time (which never goes back), weighing in officially at 34.7 kilos of big, soft cuddly teddy bear.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. SoundEagle 🦅ೋღஜஇ / Nov 8 2022 5:52 pm

    Dear Phil,

    I can see that Hank is quite a big dog. After all, Hank rhymes with Tank!

    Yours sincerely,

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Anne Mehrling / Nov 8 2022 6:50 pm

    That was such fun reading! I’m happy to be pet free at the moment.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. SoundEagle 🦅ೋღஜஇ / Nov 10 2022 3:36 am

    Dear Phil,

    I have returned here once again to comment more, as I would like to inform you that what you had was probably a koi (which can become rather big) rather than a goldfish (which usually remains small). According to Wikipedia:

    Carp, along with many of their cyprinid relatives, are popular ornamental aquarium and pond fish.

    Goldfish (Carassius auratus) were originally domesticated from the Prussian carp (Carassius gibelio), a dark greyish-brown carp native to Asia. They were first bred for color in China over a thousand years ago. Due to selective breeding, goldfish have been developed into many distinct breeds, and are found in various colors, color patterns, forms and sizes far different from those of the original carp. Goldfish were kept as ornamental fish in China for thousands of years before being introduced to Japan in 1603, and to Europe in 1611.[48]

    Koi are a domesticated subspecies of common carp (Cyprinus carpio) that have been selectively bred for color. The common carp was introduced from China to Japan, where selective breeding in the 1820s in the Niigata region resulted in koi.[49] In Japanese culture, koi are treated with affection, and seen as good luck. They are popular in other parts of the world as outdoor pond fish.

    These are koi:

    Yours sincerely,

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 22 2022 8:37 am

      My neighbor across the street built a lovely fishpond with Koi. They have names and show up expecting adoration and food when they see shadows but the edge…convenient for the local raccoons….
      Fish are fun…uh, in multiple ways!
      Thanks for fishing up some interesting information

      Liked by 1 person

  12. SoundEagle 🦅ೋღஜஇ / Nov 10 2022 3:37 am

    Dear Phil,

    According to Wikipedia about the size of goldfish:

    When kept in small indoor aquariums, goldfish tend to stay about 1 inch (2.5 cm) to 2 inches (5.1 cm) long. Goldfish may grow larger if moved to bigger fish tanks, but they usually do not grow longer than 6 inches (15 cm). In outdoor ponds, and in the wild, goldfish can grow to about 14 inches (36 cm).[16]

    As of April 2008, the largest goldfish in the world was believed by the BBC to measure 19 inches (48 cm), in the Netherlands.[17] At the time, a goldfish named “Goldie”, kept as a pet in a tank in Folkestone, England, was measured as 15 inches (38 cm) and over 2 pounds (0.91 kg), and named as the second largest in the world behind the Netherlands fish.[17] The secretary of the Federation of British Aquatic Societies (FBAS) stated of Goldie’s size, “I would think there are probably a few bigger goldfish that people don’t think of as record holders, perhaps in ornamental lakes”.[17] In July 2010, a goldfish measuring 16 inches (41 cm) and 5 pounds (2.3 kg) was caught in a pond in Poole, England, thought to have been abandoned there after outgrowing a tank.[18] On November 16, 2020, a 15-inch (38 cm) goldfish weighing 9 pounds (4.1 kg) was found in a 16 acres (6.5 ha) lake in Greenville, South Carolina, while conducting a population survey of Oak Grove Lake.[19]

    These are goldfish:

    Yours sincerely,

    Liked by 1 person

  13. SoundEagle 🦅ೋღஜஇ / Nov 10 2022 3:49 am

    Dear Phil,

    The following post of mine entitled “🌕🎴 Mid-Autumn Festival (中秋節): Moon Celebration 🌅🎑🏮🎐🥮🈷️” features some beautiful koi, as they are the symbol of good luck, prosperity and abundance:

    🌕🎴 Mid-Autumn Festival (中秋節): Moon Celebration 🌅🎑🏮🎐🥮🈷️

    Yours sincerely,

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 22 2022 8:34 am

      Because of the legends, I was always wary of not letting goldfish reach their potential…washing down the drain? Uh, no. A formal flowerbed funeral if necessary.
      Thanks for the great comments

      Liked by 1 person


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