Tag. You’re it.

Yeah, I’m resourceful, especially with a wad of post-it notes tagging along in my pocket.(“Pampered Youth” film promo still of actor Ben Alexander. USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Instructions left in an obvious place. Is that too much to ask? Apparently.

It takes time to sniff out all the nuances of a new position.

“Loft” I kept getting. “Loft” What the heck. A message as useful as one written in lemon juice by a bored kid magician: “Everything you need to know is in the loft.” 

As in jumping high into the air? (What? 6:00 am is too early for that?)

“Loft” as the fleeting lob between the time the tennis ball leaves the hand and it lands? (I let it land, stared at it, hoping “X” marked the spot to dig for it…but, no. Oh, clods.) 

“Loft” perhaps as tucked into a fluffy pillow or comforter? (Tearing into those seems risky – and unnecessary….except if there was a cat involved, well, you know how they think.)

“Could it have meant “lost” instead of “loft”? I think someone seriously lost it.” Searching the backyard for a clue. (© image)

Eventually, after much exhaustive searching, a whiff of something –

Yes, a tiny sniff of revelation sent me past the place-that-must-have-once-held-a-litter-box (You can tell – there’re a smidge of cat hair still stuck in the baseboard) into the closet  – and voilà: a loft fit for a cat.

Or much smaller, athletic dog…while I was able to hop up on the small container bin, once I got two paws onto the shelf and was wondering what to do with the rest of me if I pushed on forward, AM – Adopted Mom – yelled at me to “not even think about it and get down and out of the closet”.

I realized the actual lofty knowledge I require was actually shelved right there in front of my nose: “The Care and Needings of The Realm: including standing treaties, a schedule of yearly events, helpful management hints, and “All the Rights and Responsibilities of the RC of the Realm”. 

Hope to clarify a few things….

Things like worn post-it notes in cabinets and on cartons about “Boxing of children”, “Defense against the annual Orange Vegetable Intruders”, and what the heck is an “RC”….and now I’m tagged to be one?

Of course it’s vague and confusing – written by a cat.

The previous Resident Canine (who assumed the title from the long ruling, legendary RC Cat) left only a brief note on the windowsill apologizing for not sorting out and leaving a more coherent instruction manual, having been called away suddenly and unexpectedly, there was only time to scratch out “Everything you need to know is in the loft.”

So, now to begin.

RC? I’m tagged as an RC – Resident Canine? Can’t the title be a little more lofty? Like HRH?

Hank, Royal Husky-Malamute? That could work if I use the hyphen. I’s trendy to use hyphenated these days.

The Honorable Rowdy Hank? Titles should offer some identifying quality, some say.

Hank, the Regal Houndster perhaps? That sounds modern and hip.

But the Tradition of The RC of the Realm…

I’ll work on that. First things first. 

Like can anyone explain why AM got so excited when I stood up and grabbed the 18 egg plastic carton off the counter?

I wouldn’t have dropped it if she hadn’t startled me with that shriek.

Was only going to see what was in it – and then give it back….after a little tug of war game.

What’s the big deal? She wanted scrambled eggs – I just pre-scrambled some for her in the carton.

Good I located the instruction manual. Appears there’s a lot to unscramble around here.

Pondering over that “staff” designation.

AM certainly doesn’t look like a stick. Maybe in Days of You’re when the RC Cat first arrived.

Although I’ve found both AM and DA (Dad, Adopted..also not very stick-like although he’s quite good at throwing sticks…although the purpose of that action is unclear..) are quite supportive, so the “staff” possible indication of able to be leaned on and their helpfulness?

Maybe a music-related nickname as AM does sing silly songs a lot…all about being sort-of like an EPIRB locating device, she says.

“Don’t look to us for answers, pup. Once you’re tagged and out of the shelter, you’re on your own.”(Grown up Ben Alexander on right with the cast of Felony Squad. Maybe staffed in supporting role, but no longer as thin as a stick. USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Best to consider during a short nap….some place quiet – where I won’t get stepped on. Stretching out unseen right behind AM as she is doing stuff has resulted in a few ouchies…

Could be why there’s so much leftover cat hair in the closet: frequent retreat to a lofty thinking spot.

Hmmm, wonder how tightly that closet door is shut.

Yours in Paws and Disorder Pawsabilty and Order

Hank, HRH of the Realm

Resting…productive napping…internalizing input…digesting. Digesting lunch, that is. (© image)