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November 10, 2021 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Night fright

Surreal green cat drinking. (Image credit: Jonibek Azizoda/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

Some say the subconscious drinks up one’s darkest fears.(Image credit: Jonibek Azizoda/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Not the sound you want to hear in the predawn hours. We’re near a marina – with fuel docks, drunks on boats, and giddy tourists at the resort hotel.

Sr. Staff: Firetruck or car alarm? Better take a look. Sounds like it’s getting closer.

Staff: (Blanket pulled overhead) No. She’s issuing orders. Insistently.

Sr. Staff: That’s the cat’s latest? Gawd, she sounds exactly like an emergency vehicle.

Staff: Fine tuning of her vocal repertoire: Cat.Man, do.

Sr. Staff: Kathmandu? What? If she’s been searching travel sites on my computer again….Takes forever to tease out her ripped off claw points stuck between keys…

Staff. Sorry, she wasn’t open to using a pointer in her mouth to tap keys with. Said it slowed her down, hurt her gums – not to mention if made her look stupid – like a drunk wood pecker…unsettling that she was sure it was a suggestion towards instigating an insurrection. Gave me quite the stink-eye glare as she said the last word.  Just to clarify, it’s not a place. A formal reminder of Social Order: Cat. Man, do.

Sr. Staff: Impressive, though. Perfect imitation of a police siren.

Staff: Careful, she identifies with the mythological delusions definitions… 

Sr. Staff: The mythology of “ones who  lured mariners to destruction by their singing?” That figures.

Staff: No, the “woman who sings with enchanting sweetness”. You are too hard on her. She’s old, moves cautiously, and with her dimming eye-sight probably can’t tell it’s not daylight and breakfast time.

Sr Staff: That cat knows darn well. Just bullying in an attempt to continue Daylight Savings Time as it gets her fed earlier. 

Staff: Yep, She’s clever enough to recognize something that can be used to her advantage…which quickly morphs into ‘Oh, it simply is as it has always been” accompanied with a smug, serene look of don’t-you-dare-suggest-otherwise confidence.’ 

Sr. Staff: Ah, it stopped. Odd, she gave it up so quickly…

Staff: Quick! Pillow over head defense. Incoming flying cat! Oh, hello RC Cat. I suppose some might categorized this as dunderheaded lollygagging, but be assured there’s no need for stomping roughly across faces. How can you possibly entertain the idea that we were ignoring your summons? We were already in the process of lurching out of bed to fulfill our duties. Slow? Well, we also are not as spry as in years past. Yet, as always, at your service. Shall we adjourn to the kitchen in order to dished out and warm your breakfast? Purrfect, indeed. After you.

cat at botom of staircase looking aat woman. 1873 book Engraving. Out of copyright. (USPD. artist life, pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

I’m coming. I’m coming.Seriously, it’s not like canned food will run away if we take our time. No, I have never considered the banister an alternative express route.(USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

crown

I am RC Cat and We approve this message.

We offer a cheery paw wave to all in attendance.

Yes, yes. We see you huddled there in the shadows.

Commendable that you arrive so early to witness Our daily morning progress.

Apparently overwhelmed to be in Our pretense.

You have Our permission to withdraw.

Our paw has waved.

Waving again!

Do not harbor any fantasy of sharing breakfast with Us

Don’t forget to leave the tribute of an open can of food in the doorway.

Do not think We are blind to your attempt to sneak out without the ordinary courtesy

And a kindness: a small smile to take with you as you depart.

Adieu, mon cher

3 cats at aa dinner table. Poem from 1903 book of cheerful cats. (Ill.

“Cat wisdom: ‘A warmed cat, like a warmed breakfast, assures that the day will go well.’ Yes, yes. We shall let you share that insight. We live to enlighten the lesser creatures….even if it is a trial at times.”(USPD/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

10 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. shoreacres / Nov 10 2021 6:49 am

    Oh, what memories of Dixie Rose and the dreaded time change this evoked! Love the limerick, but now I want one of those cat topiaries in the neighborhood. I wonder what that beastie would eat? It boggles the mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. disperser / Nov 10 2021 8:24 am

    That’s quite the topiary . . . I wonder if field mice and birds recognize that it’s not a real cat? I imagine birds nesting in there might be stressed whenever they come back from foraging.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pied Type / Nov 10 2021 8:48 am

    Aloha, RC, your majesty. I hope your royal toes and claws are intact.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Kate Crimmins / Nov 10 2021 8:55 am

    Hard to get good help these days. Even with years of training, the old ones slow down. Waves RC!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. 1bl0gr3ad3r / Nov 10 2021 10:18 am

    Best wishes of the day to your highness. Hershey directed you be informed his staff has developed similar sluggishness at breaking fast time. His solution is the combination of loudly announcing his need, immediately followed by a washing of the exposed ear. His meal soon follows. (However, he notes staff mumbles that tourist season is over, yet still pushed around. He will monitor for indications of refusal of service….)

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Helen Devries / Nov 10 2021 12:16 pm

    Thank goodness we do not change the clocks in Costa Rica! Our masters are quite vocal enough as it is should there be no presence at the stove at the appointed time…

    Liked by 2 people

  7. The Coastal Crone / Nov 10 2021 12:42 pm

    Claws in the keys? Drunk woodpecker? Very descriptive. One must excuse servants who are not as spry as they once were. They do try.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. angelswhisper2011 / Nov 11 2021 1:57 am

    WOW! What a great picture of that huge cat, Philmouse💗Pawkisses for a Happy Day🐾😽💞

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Ally Bean / Nov 11 2021 8:00 am

    Cheeks got a permanent puff?!! 😊 Love your accurate description of RC Cat: “identifies with the mythological delusions.” They all seem too.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Spinster / Nov 11 2021 3:21 pm

    Just here for that first photo. Wow.

    Liked by 2 people

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