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October 11, 2021 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Follow the chatter

Smiling chattering teeth toys (© image. Copyrighted, all rights reserved, no permissions granted)

“Oh, good. They are already in costume and will not be sacked!” (© image)

RC Cat of the Realm:

“Yes, yes. Hired mercenaries reminiscent of Qin Sci Huang‘s army. We approve.

Get rows and rows of them – all wound up – already gnashing and hopped up. The Orange Vegetable Invaders – even if on a roll – will stand little chance.

Staff will see to it that crossing guards are hired to escort school children across street….there’s feet to be considered….

Also We must inquire if rabies shots are actually required as these toothy ones will be on site and on patrol only as long as necessary. Then they can be sacked. No indefinite Realm visas authorized as they area bit unnerving since they never blink.

We are quite pleased despite last week’s interruptions, Staff managed to find these additional defensive measures for Realm protection against the Orange Vegetable Invaders who seem to be appearing at a slower pace this year, but have been sighted.”

Staff:

“RC, please stop batting around that wind up toy. It’s a Christmas stockin’ toy not a defensive hire.”

RC Cat:

“Oh, but we beg to differ – a polite phrase to flatter dunderheads suggestion to reconsider as, well, WE NEVER BEG for anything!!!!  a bit of creative thinking often results in unexpected success. There is no doubt there are alternative functions, that is true, yet this is a valuable rockin’ sockin’ weapon….We shall demonstrate potential if only allowed…which requires the door to open. Attention! We are tapping with The Paw! Our mouth is busy relocating this little soldier, thus making openings difficult for us”

Staff:

“Drop it RC. Already spoken for.”

RC Cat: (Reluctantly relinquishing and sighing with great drama)

“We should have known. Probably for the best. They don’t seem to take direction well. Too jumpy. Purrhaps if Staff had purchased the metal ones, there would have been a heavier presence. With increased sockin’ power.

But We shall be allowed to keep for deployment these wonderful whirling pumpkin gouging torpedoes, yes? So colorful they shall be overlooked as flowers until suddenly spun into motion to bore holes into those invaders. Unsightly holes will not only slow them down, but carve those grins off their faces!

colorful wooden spinning tops (screenshot Amazon)

“Vegetable torpedoes. Who knew Amazon supplied weapons against Orange Veggies. With all the spin, some consumer agency will probably demand these be removed. To protect the children.”(screenshot Amazon)

Staff:

“How about you going through your mousie jar and pulling out some of the mangled well-loved ones? Some of those have long lost any semblance to any object natural to this Earth…might be destroyed enough to be a warning to any living thing fearful enough to back off a rolling vegetable with rotten intent?”

RC Cat (Puff up with outrage and glaring with hostility):

“We do not approve of this joking – it’s obviously an attempt at cat humor – about Our loyal mouses – even the ones disfigured during their effort to supply Us with care and comfort. Each has earned a place of honor and safety for their service. We do not expect humans to understand – it is obvious the way human societies discard their useful ones once useless. Yet, We cats try eternally to demonstrate civilized behavior. Why, We often wonder.

Also noted that during this time of increasing danger, Staff has been so distracted it was not noticed that many of our cardboard fortresses and safe houses are disappearing. This has impacted Our mock battle games with The Molly in preparation of the imminent Veggie invasion. We are not amused.”

RC Cat on the window seat. (© image copyrighted, all rights reserved, k NO permissions granted)

RC Cat posed on the window seat. “Yes, We do look fabulous for Our age of 18 years, 6 months and 15+ days. Do not gaze at the shaved hair spot on Our left leg. Just a little routine blood work – nothing to be concerned about. We have told the Molly We chose to have this done in solidarity with her own shaved leg during her recent tooth extraction and dental cleaning. She worries. Says she’s just not ready to assume an RC role…not ready or lazy. We shall be kind and not ask. What? No, do not ask as We cannot authorize an autographed copy of this image for your wall. Official portraits may be obtained from Staff upon exiting….Of course We have a gift shop. Everyone has a gift shop.” (© image)

Staff:

“But as always, RC you are our muse. Now let me get that piece of tape off your tail. Hold still. Hold Still. Don’t bite me, it’s the tape pulling, not me.

Oh, look. Molly Malamute says the delivery truck is here. Bet it’s your new bed cave. Go have a look out the window and check if he’s bringing something to the porch bench. What? Oh, OK, Molly don’t bark so fiercely. Don’t want to run off the delivery guy before he hands over the package. What? Oh, yes, it was a good idea to put Molly’s stick collection under the bench instead of on it so packages can be left safely. Not a chance of an Orange Veggie popping up there to plant itself as a cat bed squatter.”

RC Cat: (stomping majestically off ….with great purpose and dignity)

“Ah, yes. Tribute honoring Our October ascension as a young orphan to RC of this Realm….and We shall keep the box, too. Double tribute – sometimes Staff does things appropriately without being prodded. There is hope…

Molly, you may sniff the box, but nose off Our new cat cave. Save those nasal evaluations for Orange Veggie invasion reconnaissance. Staff, she’s sniffing. Staff! We are about to raise The Paw. Staff attend Us!”

I am RC Cat and We approve this message.

Confused about the annual Orange Vegetable Invasion, Holler-Ring, or the pitiful orphan children who arrive each October?  (Or are really desperate to fill the time…)

The Saga begins:

 

12 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. easyweimaraner / Oct 11 2021 6:39 am

    you look fantabulous RC cat … and we fear the upcoming veggie- attacks too, although it ends always the same… one ends burnt the other one bleeding… you only can place a bet on the who is who ;O)

    Liked by 2 people

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 11 2021 7:39 am

      RC Cat: “Paw waves in solidarity! There seems to be a good deal of bare bones this year…and odd sheeting hanging around…We are wondering if the HOA will send notices about hanging laundry from trees in front yards. We have heard there are great orange vegetable hunts going on this year due to scarcity. Is it possible that the human virus is even more crushing to vegetables or weakens them so fewer are able to join the annual. invading march? We’ll see how many roll in this week. Your kind words warm us like the sunny window. Stay alert with paws poised for stomping if necessary! We are staring out the window in your direction with hopes your realm only witnesses fall treats.”

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Kate Crimmins / Oct 11 2021 6:58 am

    No veggie invasions here this year. Too many “projects” going on to get them all out. We will keep them safe until next year!

    Liked by 2 people

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 11 2021 7:29 am

      RC Cat: Appreciative of your long distance report of Orange Invaders status. Purrhaps there is more impact from the virus than obvious….humans seem to have found it a convenient excuse to happily engage in costume masking all year as if Holler-Ring was a year long event….purrhaps humans have grown bored and ready to try new things – have become saturated with anything horror associated? The Molly has reported very few signs of advanced veggie intrusions. We have heard from staff that there is aa veggie shortage! What? Has some predator species gotten so hungry that the Orange ones are at risk of extinction? Investigations must be done! How brave you are to shelter and protect what may become the only hope of restoration and revitalization of the Orange species next year! What? Hypocritical? How dare anyone compare Our svelte self to hippo! Oh…well, carry on. We must nap now. Ever vigilant! A cautionary paw wave for your courage in preserving habitat and occupants..even those who may become rotten. Take care.”

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Anne Mehrling / Oct 11 2021 8:26 am

    I love your conversations between staff and royal personages. Most amusing!

    Like

  4. Susan/PiedType / Oct 11 2021 9:55 am

    A new bed cave! Marvelous!

    Like

  5. Curt Mekemson / Oct 11 2021 3:42 pm

    Just maybe, if black cats were carved onto the orange veggies in honor of catdom, RC might find them more acceptable. 🙂 –Curt

    Like

  6. shoreacres / Oct 11 2021 6:15 pm

    Your roving reporter can (ahem) report that one square block of Bastrop, Texas, is heaped with the Orange Invanders. Perhaps that’s their staging area. They did look plump and sassy, and ready to take on the world!

    Like

  7. sustainabilitea / Oct 11 2021 7:43 pm

    Have to consider the wall poster for Christmas. 🙂 Love those tops and is it really true that as your tag says, this is fiction??? Say it ain’t so.

    janet

    Like

  8. cat9984 / Oct 14 2021 10:23 am

    You have our sympathies, RC Cat. Humans can be so uncooperative. Purrs, Snoops and Kommando Kitty

    Like

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