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December 14, 2020 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Coffee Complex

coffee cup. (Screenshot Image/You Tube)

Looks innocent enough. Click below for the ambience music.(Screenshot: You Tube)

The invitation to coffee worried me.

She has become like an elderly driver at intersections who has forgotten the car doesn’t end just behind her front seat.

Discussions of those incidents with her litter box were turned aside with “One of good breeding does not discuss bodily functions with others.”

The music was soothing, but the anticipation otherwise.

 

Staff: “You requested a coffee chat?” (Suspicious that both Molly Malamute and HRH RC Cat were so cozied up together.)

RC Cat: “Yes. yes. Do sit and enjoy the ambience We have worked Our little paws to the nubs to create. Oh, you might want to check that little keyboard crack by the “T” …some Gremlins residing under it grabbed Our nail and refuse to release it. Only by much caterwauling  careful effort were We able to free Ourselves. Yet, despite the hardships We feel what We found is quite worth it. Is not the music delightful? Sit.”

Staff: nervously complying. “Is there something needed?” (The dog looked far too congenial with the cat.)

RC Cat continuing: “Just a friendly holiday get together as is the custom of lesser creatures” (Molly puckered her lips as if to protest.) “Oh, also We simply wished in holiday fashion to relay Our appreciation for the meal modifications. The additions of care-alots are a stroke of genius. Delicious.”

Staff: confused. “Care-alots?”

Molly Malamute: “Oh, she means the carrot chunks in the her food.”

RC Cat: (scowling at being interrupted). “Yes the care-alot is much raved about as a wonder health food by lifestyle infuencers. We wonder why it took so long.”

Molly Malamute: “Probably because that’s the same food you turned your nose up at months ago. Pulled out the orange chunks with your sharpest nail, waved it around accusing Staff of being in cahoots with the Orange Vegetable Invaders and trying to poison you. We have proof.”

Cat at dinner (Europa’s Fairy book:Putnam’s/NYC public library/J. Jacobs/ JD Batten /US public domain:expired copyright/publication date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Archived blackmail fan mail picture of cat. (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

RC Cat: (With controlled snarl) “How dare you! Unauthorized image! Fake news….”

Staff cautiously moves the coffee cup and bowl of..uh…what looked like Greenies with peanut butter and cookie sprinkles on them…pushes the cup and bowl away from the table edge to avoid any wild paw swings.

Molly Malamute: “Santa”

RC Cat: (Stunned at her tirade being interrupted) “What?”

Molly Malamute:(With confidence) “Santa. He’s watching. Making a list.”

RC Cat: (Taking a deep breath then settling back down) “We are quite aware it is wise to be extremely cautious about new things- especially exotic foods. Tummy upsets are  no pleasant- and We do not wish to make Staff’s life more difficult. Now, Molly, since you are beginning to really annoy Us since your front window delivery guard time is about to start, would you like to relay your request to Staff regarding Christmas wishes?”

Dog. Molly Malamute leaping like a reindeer (© image. Copyrighted, all rights reserved, no permissions granted)

Molly practicing her reindeer leaps…just in case Santa needs some assist with his sleigh team. (© image)

Molly Malamute: “Staff, if you could please scan these and attach to an email to Santa at the North Pole. (Images of a GIANT in-ground pool surrounded by tropical landscape were gently slid over.)

RC Cat: “Now Molly, you do not wish to stress Staff out with stupid unreasonable  difficult requests. We have told you two thousand times the neighbors will not move the fence and give up part of their yard… Purrhaps your Plan “B”? Carrying all that water might be difficult for the reindeer and sleigh.

Molly Malamute: (Shyly)” It would be so nice if I go could to play with friends at the resort playground more often. There’s a pool there.”

Dog. Molly Malamute exiting pool dripping water. (© image copyrighted, all rights reserved, no permissions granted)

It can be a chilly 50F but all the sled dogs are in the pool.(© image)

RC Cat: (Smirking as the secret spilled out) “She has a new boyfriend there. Jo-Jo who only has eyes for her.” (She caught herself before rolling off onto the floor)

Molly: (Looking demure as she slid a picture of them by the pool) “He waits with crossed paws over to the side away from everyone until I arrive. Everyone says ‘Experiences” are the most popular gift this year. Please tell Santa?”

Two dogs circling. (© image. Copyrighted all rights reserved. No permissions granted)

“Ah, my dear. Shall we run from the pawparazzi and feel the wind through our fur?” (© image.)

Staff (Gathering the pages) “Santa rewards those who make others happy. Don’t worry.”

RC Cat: “There, now. See I told you, Molly. Now off to your post while Staff and I discuss a few more things.”

Staff: “And your list of wishes RC?”

RC Cat: “Do keep an eye on that dog. She has been muttering about having done a few soil sample digs and it might be possible to dig a pool for herself – as a surprise for Staff. Our list of wishes? We simply wish for sunnier days, comforting mousies, and the world outside to straighten itself out. You’ll be getting a annotated list prioritized in order of which shall thrill Us the most… Despite difficulties, this is a season of goodwill, hope, and dreams.

Pecan tree at sunset on Barbara Nunneley's ranch (Image Mary Beth Gahan/TX Monthly)

A ranch sunset for Christmas. (Mary Beth Gahan/TX Monthly)

Meanwhile, We have collected a few wonders for your enjoyment in anticipation of your generosity as Santa is watching and making a list:

  • “An old pecan tree is the beacon of hope at the holidays” Maybe it’s the life on the ranch or maybe just “magic happens when things are bleakest. Like many sources of hope, this one can only truly be appreciated in the depths of darkness, in a year like this one.” Read more here
  • “Jupiter and Saturn will soon align in a rare astronomical marvel and you can start watching now” It hasn’t happened in over 400 years and won’t again until 2080. Read more here.
  • He’s the Jewish Griswold. (video/interview) As a kid, he wanted holiday lights, too. “The Chanakah Hanukkah House in Meyerland is back! (I grew up near here. The houses were sprawling ranches not stucco then. And there were quite a few unique architectural notable houses built in Meyerland – like the one that boasted of all the outer walls being glass….until the owners realized a parade of cars kept coming by to gawk at the modern wonder of it. They built a wall. Wonder if it’s still there…Now there’s an outing waiting.) Obviously They need a bigger house – to store it all.  Massive 2020 Miracle of Lights on display here. Watch all the little kids. Go ahead and push the red button on the lawn start the music – until 11 PM at the request of neighbors. Dance and enjoy!

RC Cat: Now if that doesn’t brighten you up, nothing will.

Perhaps We should encourage all to carry a pecan to trigger warm thoughts and banish gloom.

Of course We are eagerly awaiting what delightful tributes gifts shall arrive.

Naturally, the tribute expectation is graciously suspended for the holidays…

Gifts are quite sufficient. One can only expect so much.

GIFTS, THEY ARE!

We are honored and humbled to be remembered but, like Santa, We are also making a list….

Cat surprised. (© image. Copyrighted, no permissions granted. all rights reserved)

“What do you mean those were not hidden in that box under the bed by accident? We can keep this between ourselves, right? Need to know. Santa, doesn’t.”(© image.)

Ta, now. Audience fini.

We have given staff far too much time off from their duties interrupted Staff’s day and do apologize for any inconvenience.

Do not rush. We shall be content whenever Our afternoon snack arrives despite feeling as if We are faint from hunger.

The paw is waving! Off with you now.

Jingle on!

crown symbol with message "I am RC Cat and I approve this message"

I am RC Cat and I approve this message.

 

 

 

5 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. easyweimaraner / Dec 14 2020 8:18 am

    Molly the mama wants a pool too, but we are afraid more than a water bucket for cleaning the house will be not on satans sled this year LOL

    Like

  2. Kate Crimmins / Dec 14 2020 9:05 am

    I hear there is an 18-wheeler on it’s way with awesome pet gifts!

    Like

  3. marina kanavaki / Dec 14 2020 9:30 am

    Molly would make the perfect assistant for Santa!!! She’s a natural! 😉

    Like

  4. Anne Mehrling / Dec 14 2020 11:00 am

    It’s hard for me, a mere mortal, to distinguish fact from fiction. It was fun reading, so I just relaxed and enjoyed it.

    Like

  5. sustainabilitea / Dec 14 2020 5:10 pm

    The reindeer imitation is spot-on, Molly. Well done. I do hope staff all get large Christmas tips! 🙂

    janet

    Like

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