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October 18, 2020 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Bones, Groans, and Horrors

Pumpkin carved by squirrel. (© image. Copyrighted, all rights reserved. NO permissions granted.

“What? You left it out for me, right. It’s the prefect rendering of a Cyclops. You’re welcome.” (© image.)

Missing bones, assembling records, and unpleasant cutting.

All that’s missing is an eerie Blue Moon and a wolf howling in the dark. (Molly suggested the last. She fancies herself as an Author of Tails. Granted, she does know hairy situations.)

Yesterday gave a hint: needed to turn on lights in the kitchen. Sunny spots normally rotation around the house, but the morning was grey. (“Foreshadowing!”, Molly helpfully offers.)

Happy now I sweltered in recent heat to get the winter flowers situated.

(Molly chimes in, “In pots – say  ‘in pots to cheer winter doorways and offering convenient shelter for lizards and convenient for dogs who…oh, not that – and new plants under the palm to cover the bare spot where previous bloomers got crushed during a lizard hunt’…Oh. Wait. Don’t say that.”)

Flower replacements under palm after prolonged lizard hunt (© image,copyrighted, no permissions granted, all rights reserved.)

Flower replacements in fresh ’tilled’ soil. See? Nothing to see here.(© image.)

Today, blustery cloudy winter’s approach stalks us with a variety of chills adding to the horror.

We’ve been rushing to get stuff done like annual checkups before the Flu season and any reoccurrence of COVID. (“Measles, Chickenpox, mumps. Don’t forget those,” the Paw One insists. “The children are boxed together now, but happily skipped boosters and vaccinations. Possibly a Spin the Wheel and Win a Disease Blame show for every household.”)   

Las week should have been routine and without stress, but no. Blame EMR – Electronic Medical Records: great promises, in reality, only a mirage.

(A paw poke and a suggestion, “Tell them your idea of noting all medical events on door frames along with the customary height markings for residents…maybe horizontal width marks for adults?”) 

Would be more functional. And dependable (“If no one paints.” Big doggy grin. “No problem with that here.”)

So we’ve spent a good part of the week reconstructing medical history/records complicated by records not being kept in one place anymore.

The pharmacy/drug stores do most vaccines now.

(“Add a snarly face. Medicine is big business and Corp. offices wants docs doing big things- ones worth their time and billing. Not interested in doing all those stupid needle pokes that pay so little, have a shelf life, and take up storage space.”) 

Walgreens… (What? No, they don’t have walls stacked with Greenies. You don’t need to go with us next time. Please Molly. It’s hard enough to maintain thought.)

Walgreens only keep records for 2 years. No big deal. Good patients immediately go home and record the new entry in your online EMR folder, right. We did.

Only, now those entries wasn’t there.

And not just those were MIA.

One doctor’s office says they dump records after 5 years. (That was in the very very fine print at the bottom one of those forms you have to fill out every time even though you filled out the exact same thing last time.) Even better, the form said “We encourage patients to keep their own record of their medical history” WHAT? I thought the whole purpose of EMR..(“That’s your problem. Uh, yes, thinking. Complicates things.”)

Sr. Staff’s Specialist Doctor’s office called about sending over the do-ahead pre-procedure forms and his EMR records – which is good because they were mostly wrong. (“First clue was they called him by the wrong name on the phone…unlike dogs, humans insist on being called one name and do not respond well to incorrect names or nicknames like ‘No, No, Bad Dog’ “).

Got the name corrected (“Do we really trust Sr. Staff with these people?”), but half of the medical history were missing and some of it belonged to someone else AND the phone person perkily say they dump records after 10 years. Great.

Some of this medical condition stuff means follow-ups for the rest of your life….so you would think…are you not telling us something? Not funny. (Molly slowly rolls over a big black permanent marker…”How about if we just write his name in big letters across him and added arrows to the targeted area?”)

Skeleton holding box with 4 men in suits. Universal film. 1942, Night Monster (USPD: pub.date, artist life/Commons.wikimedia.org)

“Case dismissed. Don’t blame us. We told you to keep your own records. It was in the fine print. Always always read the fine print.” (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Yes, my blood pressure is up. (And my doc, not happy.)

But at least his Derm biopsy came back good. (We live in a very sunny environment. Even dogs have routine checks. Molly is fine, too.)

(“Do I get to go to playgroup that day? Not all day. No dumping me there all day. Don’t want to be associated with The Daycare Bunch. It’s a status comfort level thing. Yes, I’ll be happy to babysit be a companion for RC Cat instead for that morning instead.”)

Winter flowers potted and ready to righten grey days (© image. Copyrighted. all rights reserved. NO permissions granted)

The Winter flowers – in manageable sizes. Counting on that mild winter prediction for big the flower beds of hardy plants. Just can’t get into it these days…busy enough replanting the grass in spots where Molly goes worm digging. (“Just checking to make sure they are on the job, Mom.”)(© image.)

The Bones part? 

Well, it’s closing in on Holler-Ring Halloween and this year will be different. No bones about it.

People have been getting creative with candy delivery systems: long PVC/carpet tubes for social distancing candy slides (instructions here for chute with Skeleton…there’s always one family that has to go all out. There’s easier ones like the pumpkin one or the striped one.)

I’m waiting for the remote control car costumed up as a pumpkin or creature moving from porch to kid on sidewalk. (“Better have a retrival wire in case some little ghoul thinks the whole car is his treat and takes off for a trick.” Grrrrr) 

Naturally some techie will perfect his Halloween bat drone candy drop. (“If you catch it, can you keep it – like tennis balls?”)

There’s a couple of Haunted Woods social distancing spooky drive-thrus locally. (One even features free COVID tests. Really. Does the horror ever cease?) Or get spacey with NASA’s event Galaxy Frights.

There’s the locally encouraged Halloween-at-Home with the lights low, fireplace making shadows on the wall, and a spooky story –

And I’ve got just the one for the mostly grown-up and ones wiling to risk nightmares: The Bone Hunger by fellow WP blogger, physician-turned author Carrie Rubin.

Starts out with that leg with the tattoo found in the park by a young doctor during a hike….and he recognizes the leg! And of course you know whom the police suspect…after all he has that bizarre incident in the recent past…and does anyone really trust the CDC people anymore?

Nope. Not going to give you hints, but beware as you are reading along, suddenly it’s “WHOA. Who is this?” A passage in an entirely different voice. Is it the killer?…a serial, crazy, cold killer?( and I do mean brrr…OK, that’s a slice of a hint).

Guarantee this one will keep you turning the lights up brighter and brighter and jumping at unexpected sounds. Leaves you  wondering about all things medical and human.

Actually, all things considered, this year is in shaping up to be one of the scariest Holler-Rings and holiday season ever. What are you doing to get ready?

Hmmm. Blue suede shoes go well with a Halloween Blue Moon, right? Now where’s that Ouija board?

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

What the horror

Sometimes you have to wonder – with floods, tornadoes, earthquakes, wild fires, floods and plagues

Perhaps forced focus through the fog of human self-made misery to what is important.

Not what happened hundreds of years ago, not what may or may not happen a year or four from now caused by people you don’t even know and never will (and they certainly won’t know you)

But what is happening immediately in front of you. Here. Now.

Reboot. Put aside. Reevaluate. Thinking.

Try being human. Harder than it looks.

wild fire approaching neighborhood of friends in Longmont, CO. (© image. Copyrighted, no permissions granted. ALL rights reserved.)

It was a restless night at a friend’s home in Longmont, CO. The early morning cooler weather and drizzle offered some hope. Oct 18, dawn (© images)

Morning. Oct 18, 2020. wild fire approaching neighborhood of friends in Longmont, CO. (© image. Copyrighted, no permissions granted. ALL rights reserved.)

Wild fire seen in the distance. Longmont, CO. (© image)

 

 

19 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Ally Bean / Oct 18 2020 1:49 pm

    “We encourage patients to keep their own record of their medical history”

    Well there you go. Everything old is new again. Sorry you’ve been fussing around with medical records/updating information. That sounds like a level of hell.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 18 2020 2:07 pm

      Everyone loves retro! (Next paper ballots with a X in the square?)
      It’s 2020 – what can you expect? HAHA
      Somehow it’s all pretty funny…(your choice of “funny HAHA or Funny peculiar”…maybe it’s Mars, or Mercury or Aries…but not sure the Mars candy bar I can see with Halloween and all, but how a car – Mercury or a Ram charger – can really run things off the road.
      Just gotta go with the flow…and plant more flowers.
      Thanks for going round with the reinvention of the wheel

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Anne Mehrling / Oct 18 2020 1:53 pm

    I always enjoy your posts. You asked what we are getting ready, and I am ahead of the game this year. Logan (10) is the only trick or treater who will come to our house. I have already asked him what candy we should buy this year. The last few years he chose KitKat, but this year it is Crunch.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 18 2020 2:18 pm

      High Five, Logan! Great choice. We’ll miss all the little kids showing off their costumes – Darn – we finally got a pack of littles instead of the teens. Only a few houses have fun decorations out this year – orange and purple twinkle lights seem to be the thing this time – haven’t seen one whoosing inflatable…a two story skeleton, yes, but no inflatables.
      I think I’m going to wrap Christmas presents to cheer myself up on Halloween (have already finished off that book). With luck a front will come in and it’ll be cool enough to have a cozy fire…but the rest of the household has already said no Christmas songs!!!
      Thanks for dropping by and ringing the bell with a comment

      Like

      • Anne Mehrling / Oct 18 2020 5:39 pm

        We will definitely see Logan to give him Halloween candy, but I’m guessing trick or treating will be vastly different all around the country. People outside of Asheville are decorating with lots of pumpkins and cutouts. I’m not sure there were ever many inflatables on display. I won’t comment on Asheville, because we have not driven through any residential areas.

        Good luck on the Christmas gift wrapping. We used to wait until the first Sunday of Advent to play Christmas music, but now we start when the turkey roaster has been washed on Thanksgiving night.

        Like

  3. Spinster / Oct 18 2020 2:00 pm

    This whole year is Halloween – your medical records included.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 18 2020 2:20 pm

      Where’s the Off button? (That laughter you hear is so not hysteria – HAHA)
      Hope you are burrowed down and managing – (I’ve not been around the blogs much recently which is pretty rude, but this is one year for the books…and I try to keep ignoring it…)
      Thanks for being persistent with comments

      Liked by 1 person

      • Spinster / Oct 18 2020 2:40 pm

        One year for the books, indeed.

        Like

  4. disperser / Oct 18 2020 2:45 pm

    Yes, being human is harder than it looks (or should be). That is, if we can even still define it.

    . . . sometimes it seems the definition has been lost for good . . .

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 18 2020 3:40 pm

      You can catch glimpses of it in the midst or immediately after hurricanes and disasters – quickly – before the “organized” ones like the Red Cross and FEMA arrive – then it’s big business as usual and pose to impress.
      It lives in the little people during crisis and chaos ( Just ignore the looters – a whole different departure of humanity.)
      Appreciate the astute remark

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Kate Crimmins / Oct 18 2020 3:53 pm

    Normally we sneak out early and go to dinner with friends on Halloween night. This year not so sure. Will they come? Won’t they come? Make we’ll sit in the dark with margaritas!

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 18 2020 4:13 pm

      Oh, eating out with friends. That would be such a treat. Margaritas a better idea than Pumpkin whatever that was that our kid gave us (gag) and I’m still trying to pawn it off on others…..pumpkin spice, it was not. 😮
      Thanks for quaking along in the dark

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Pied Type / Oct 18 2020 10:01 pm

    Humorless, lazy old woman here. Haven’t done Halloween for decades. Glad someone is keeping it up for the kiddos.

    Re the fire near Longmont … who dares to sleep when a fire could sneak up on you? I’m sure I couldn’t.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 19 2020 2:30 pm

      Sleep with 3 kids there, too? Shiver. The car was backed in and ready to go, but…
      Unfortunately COVID has made evacuation and staying someplace more difficult.
      Halloween has become a big deal here – maybe a celebration that fits most cultures without any guilt/blaming/shaming? And of course it backs up to Dia de los muetos which is a big deal here – even the grocery stores have decor/sweets for that.
      Years ago we did a big Halloween with garage maze/haunted house and spooky sounds – the neighbors had a cauldron with dry ice and flickering fake fire (it was a pine forest area) and so many had all sorts of scary stuff going own – all hand made before party city and buying entire lines of stuff on line. We had a big slumber party for years then went trick or treating in mass. But as the kids got older, it faded, peoples moved out and the new young families did nothing and expected the old residents to continue the traditions. Where we are now has always been pretty low key – but there have been years of which yard is the more decorated…we enjoy walking /driving around looking at the efforts. This year however, few “displays” are up, some little orange twinkle lights in windows, but pretty quiet. Authorities want everyone to celebrate at home – not a bad idea this time around.
      Thanks for haunting this corner of the world.

      Like

  7. easyweimaraner / Oct 19 2020 12:49 am

    we are afraid that halloween is not allowed this year… but we will look to have our own inside this time… maybe with a horrible diy-project?

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 19 2020 2:34 pm

      Some traditions will not be denied in some places, but here most are planning to heed the scares by authorities and celebrate at home without going door to door. (RC Cat is most pleased – she hated the ding-dongs and squeals…Molly may be disappointed – everyone thinks she’s the big bad wolf)
      A DIY project might provide the most frightening experience ever! We will stay tuned at your realm for that treat. Thanks for haunting this spot

      Like

  8. marina kanavaki / Oct 20 2020 7:39 am

    It sure is a genuine leap year, isn’t it?….

    Liked by 1 person

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