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April 7, 2020 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Desperate times calls for desperate measures

two people wearing dog masks. Costume. (Image screenshot from Amazon)

“Hey, look. Masks do keep you from touching your face!” (Amazon screenshot image)

That dog WILL hunt….for Oreos, for chips, for beer…for toilet paper….

Wonder if dogs will demand reciprocity: you know, demanding a swap of “ride along only” dog tag licenses for those with vehicle driving rights.

You can hear it now. “What, Officer? You didn’t stop that car over there with the German Shepherd at the wheel…”

One can only hope that the tale doesn’t end up wagging the dog.

Making no attempt to mask her feelings, Molly Malamute sniffed and walked away insulted. Don’t even think about trotting this charade out as a substitution for doggy socialization.

Leader of the pack of quarantine chic

“No woof!” The cat is hiding her head behind her paws in absolute horror and shame at the very thought….

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

And now a little bark along:

  • “People teach their dogs to sit; it’s a trick. I’ve been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.” (American comedian Mitch Hedberg)
  • “When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.” (Erma Bombeck, American author and journalist)

“She had blue skin,
And so did he.
He kept it hid
And so did she.
They searched for blue
Their whole life through,
Then passed right by-
And never knew.”

(Shel Silverstein, American poet and illustrator. Every Thing on it.)

27 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. shoreacres / Apr 7 2020 7:12 am

    A dog that hunts for Oreos? I could become a dog lover, for sure!

    Like

  2. easyweimaraner / Apr 7 2020 7:24 am

    when a husband is in that bathroom take a breath and look for duct tape LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Kate Crimmins / Apr 7 2020 7:30 am

    The cats are handling quarantine well. They saw the Chewy delivery and everyone relaxed.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 7 2020 10:34 am

      Gold stars for Chewy and the delivery guys!!! (Little do they know they are keeping anxious cats domesticated…)
      Paws up for boxed up normalcies. Thanks for shipping a comment this way

      Liked by 1 person

  4. beth / Apr 7 2020 7:44 am

    Hilarious!

    Like

  5. Ally Bean / Apr 7 2020 7:50 am

    This are weird times. The mere idea of quarantine chic is almost beyond my ability to cope, but then I get laughing so it’s all good.

    Like

  6. Robin / Apr 7 2020 10:01 am

    And now there are dogs making wine deliveries. Crazy times indeed.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 7 2020 10:27 am

      Sounds like some shut-in viewed the images of those rescue St. Barnards with the tiny barrel under their chin too often…
      With such deliveries, the howling outdoors late an night might no just be wolves at the door HAHA
      Thanks for carrying a comment to this porch

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Yahooey / Apr 7 2020 12:34 pm

    Who let the dogs out?

    Like

  8. marina kanavaki / Apr 7 2020 1:34 pm

    Woof woof!!!!! 🐾🐾

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Curt Mekemson / Apr 7 2020 3:44 pm

    Don’t know about hunting for TP or chips, but I get the Oreo and beer part. Thanks as always for your strange brand of humor! 🙂

    Like

  10. sustainabilitea / Apr 7 2020 4:40 pm

    Love the Bombeck quote. When the girls were little, I always checked on them if I didn’t hear any noise. Maybe the same for husbands? 🙂 We don’t buy Oreos anymore after Nabisco moved their production to Mexico…NOT because we have anything against Mexicans or Hispanics, a charge leveled at me on FB when I posted this there once. Sigh. Anyway, doggone it, stay well!

    janet

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 8 2020 1:06 pm

      Erma had a way with words – and had it figured out. She always makes me laugh.
      Actually we rarely buy Oreo’s because we really don’t need to be eating them….all of them…in one sitting. We did stack a box of girl scout cookies, some ginger snaps, and some cookie dough….oh, OK one small Oreo package as required by the hurricane provision list…there’s something about Oreos and storms…they sure do melt in hot weather though…now I’m worried how they managed to get them from MX to here without melting…worrisome ingredients no doubt…which is why we cut back eating them in the first place. (I’ll remember that Nabisco relocation…insert scowl here.)
      One interesting thing, Kimberly-Clark used to have a paper manufacturing facility in the state before moving south of the border…a local company bought it recently (Prestige America – a medical supply) and has it up and running with the help of TX national guard making face masks and products in short supply. Hope this is a trend. So many companies are voluntarily shifting to help where needed. Note needs to be made who ran towards the fight and who stayed quiet.
      Thanks for running with the pack. Take care.

      Like

      • sustainabilitea / Apr 8 2020 3:46 pm

        We had Aldi stores in Illinois and Ohio (none here in AZ yet, unfortunately) and they have cookies exactly like Girl Scout cookies for under $1.50!! Dangerous but VERY good.

        Our daughter said her EHS manager recommends these non-N95 reusable face mask from gir.co. We just ordered some and extra filters and for my parents as well.

        Like

        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 8 2020 4:42 pm

          We have a tiny Aldi, but it’s too hard to get to for limited items they carry…but for cookies….
          (We have multiple family members in Medical community, one sits on the regional task force for the combined med center here. And a doc in N. Italy went to med school with our kid – started sending terrifying emails in Jan. to colleagues.(He said a many Chinese immigrants work in the fashion factories/industry in the North. His on the ground accounts were horrifying and he said the North is more affluent and had better health care, but he worried what would happen if it spread to the poorer parts in the South of Italy.) That’s when we were advised to get ready and slowly gathered items such as masks and extra filters. We said, well, most of the items we’d gather up later in the spring for the hurricane kit, so why not. Then infectious disease doc friend in Dallas who said at first “Oh, the media is over blowing it” then 2 weeks later after looking at data and talking with countries already fighting the illness said “OMG It’s coming and it’s going to be bad”. We sent a couple off, too. It really helps to have those who look out for us, right? Take care and be safe.

          Like

          • sustainabilitea / Apr 8 2020 5:19 pm

            I miss Aldi greatly! One of the members of our praise team works for them and said they were going to be opening a distribution center and a bunch of stores in Arizona this year but I imagine all of this will put it on hold at least for a time. I wish I’d known her about it earlier, but at least we were able to get hand sanitizer and wipes before I came down to Arizona the first time in March to look at homes. Now you can’t even find bleach or anything like that.

            Like

          • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 9 2020 9:55 am

            Did you have any issues moving with this disease thing going on. Right now our house hunting/relocation is a bit on hold…not tourist travel, but questionable essential travel – and trucks seem to be busy
            Hopefully the supplies of all kinds will reappear on the shelves shortly.

            Like

          • sustainabilitea / Apr 9 2020 11:53 am

            We didn’t. Our move was scheduled for April 16, but at the beginning of March, we already had the house and the virus thing was starting to get worse, so we moved the date up to Mar. 24, not long after I got back from Arizona. It made for a crazy week or so, but was worth it in the long run, as although the suggestions were already for shelter-in-place and only essential travel, etc., moving was still on the table according to the company. So here we are, thankful we did it that fast!

            Yes, I hope the supplies get back on the shelves soon, too. In the meantime, we’ll make do.

            Liked by 1 person

          • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 9 2020 12:23 pm

            Whew! But you got where you wanted to be. YEA and good plan. Take care.

            Liked by 1 person

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