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March 16, 2020 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Halos and The Big Worry

Window blinds with bite mark (© image copyrighted, all rights reserved, no permissions granted

You see it there, right? The fang puncture. Stupid line of sight obscuring blind. Better thee than me.(© image)

We worry. For two reasons: tooth and nail.

So preoccupied recently, we’ve been able to approach without the usual formalities…you know, like cautiously bowling cat treats towards her.

Staff: “What are you doing? The dog will announce any delivery ding-dongs. There is no need for you to get a leg cramp trying to hold yourself in that three paw position hanging in the window by the front door. Think of yourself and how awkwardly ridiculous you look crammed part way in there, your Highness. You might strain a toe.”

RC Cat: “If anyone cared, We should not have to be struggling so in performance of Our duties. There have been numerous requests to raise these strings of guillotine paddles that obstruct Our view of the porch. In any case,”( as she slid her tail-end backwards as gracefully as possible into a sitting-at-the-table position with her eyes still locked between the window blind slats) “We wish an opinion. Do you think halos can be kept hidden?”

Staff: “Halos? I am not following.”

box of oranges with halo. (image from Camp Halohead)

We’re confused, too.(screenshot from Camp Halohead video)

RC Cat: “Dunderhead! You must always follow. I am you anointed leader. It is written down somewhere. Now once again, if One follows the theory that there are angels among us – only so humble in appearance that one doesn’t recognize them for what they are – could it be possible their halos are concealed?” (She cautiously, casually, pointed a paw towards the porch bench.)

Staff: “Uh, you do know those are the odd pumpkins still hanging out since Halloween. Orange and plant based, but pumpkins, not Halo mandarins. No halos of any kind. Alike, but different.”

RC Cat: ” Yes, yes.”(She irritatedly swished her tail..always a bad sign…) “First reported as Orange Vegetable Invaders, We are now wondering if Cinderella wasn’t on to something.”

Staff: “Cinderella? I’m not – I mean, I’m, Uh, trying, but not understanding..”

RC Cat: “Of course not. You are over standing. Humans’ towering heights must certainly limit adequate blood flow to the brain resulting in intellectual limitations. Always trying to us. Sit. Sit – until recovered. Now, there, concentrate. Cinderella had pumpkin magic. These Orange ones may also be more than they appear.” (She slowly pressed her face against the window and narrowed her eyes. The dog began to shuffle nervously – unsure what to expect next.) “What if these were guardian angels sent to protect the Realm from the terrible pests. Like those gargling do.”

Staff: “Whoa. Gargling? Like with antibacterial mouthwash?”

RC Cat: “No time for being against baccalaureate speech! These are uncertain times. Purrhaps Our past kindness to The Unfortunate Children each fall was noted and these Orange gargoylings have been sent to assist Us. It has been very windy and rainy so it is good they sit on the porch instead of perched on the roof. Protect the protectors, We always say.” (A pleased-with-myself purr slipped out between her parted lips. Her shoulders easing tension.)

Staff: “So they are hiding halos because…”

Two Pumpkins dressed for Spring (© image copyrighted, all rights reserved, no permissions granted)

An attempt to appear inconspicuous. Not like any kind of miracle cure…(© image)

RC Cat: “Others might be tempted to seek their protection from that terrible bad beer plague. No need to flaunt flavortism in front of the neighbors.”

Staff: “Flavortism?”

RC Cat: “Pumpkins have an aura each October. Whiffs of sweetness and lights. Could draw neighbors like flies. ”

Staff: “Certainly has been drawing looks from the UPS guys.”

RC Cat: (Who nods knowingly) “So we have observed. It is lucky the Molly barks fiercely. Keeps unexpected visitors moving and not thinking about grabbing orange talismans. Those afflicted with the bad beer virus tend to be frantic or delusional. The Orange watchers could be seen as magical – some sort of Coronavirus cure.”

Staff: “That’s a big worry, I suppose. We shall leave you to savor the flavor of possibilities of an orange defense.” (As we quietly retreated, HRH began humming My Sharona. Her fluffy rump swishing rhythmically. Sigh. The hussy Not even a parody. Just don’t ask, Weird Al. You don’t want to go there with that cat.)

To each, their own worries.

Being stuck here with a tyrant  an overconfident Force of Feline Fur is pretty much our big worry right now.

What’s the worry zone look like in your Realm? Taking reservations? Got hand sanitizer gel, will travel! HA HA

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

Spooky woman peering out window blinds (CDC website)

Somebody get that woman a nail brush and some soap and water. No one will server her Corona or any kind of beer like that…(CDC website)



Leave a Comment
  1. easyweimaraner / Mar 16 2020 6:44 am

    this beer is hard to bear somehow…sigh…


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Mar 16 2020 7:10 am

      Add in the extreme tree pollen and the closet is beginning to look like the only safe place…only HRH snarls if you ge too close to her perch in there (What did she know and when!!! HAHA) Cheers to ya!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Kate Crimmins / Mar 16 2020 11:23 am

    Not much happening here inside the house. Cats are sleeping. Humans staying pretty much confined. Outside things are closing. Only good news is that the weather is cooperating. It’s been nice and sunny. That helps a lot.


  3. Ally Bean / Mar 16 2020 12:59 pm

    You know in the chakras orange is the color of creativity, so it might follow that your orange protectors are in fact keeping you safe, creating a barrier between you and that bad beer virus. So to speak. 😉


  4. shoreacres / Mar 17 2020 5:09 am

    I wondered if anyone else had been mentally composing a parody to the tune of “My Sharona.” Obviously, the answer is yes, and that alone makes me feel much, much better.


  5. marina kanavaki / Mar 17 2020 6:59 am

    The times we’re living huh?!!!! We’re home bound over here. Hera, of course is overjoyed to have a full house, or -to be more accurate- to have more servants at her beck and call! 😉 Stay safe! 😷 [the new trendy emoji!]


Always glad to hear from readers.

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