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November 1, 2019 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Conventions of Swimming with Sharks

Swimming with sharks. Movie poster, 1958. Reynold Brown (USPD artist life,

Conventional wisdom says swimming with the fishes is a poor career choice.(1958.Reynold Brown.USPD/

Conventions are weird.

If you’ve been to a big business or political convention (“a gathering”/”a summoning”), then you know that many attendees’ away from home behavior is often at odds with normal conventions (as in “rule of behavior of conduct”, “accepted social customs”, or “standard practice”).

Oh, well. Double speak or double standards.

What is language for if not to add to the confusion and chaos?

Ducks in lake. Participants flocking in for the Duck Otta the Cold Convention.(© Image)(Copyrighted, all rights reserved, No permissions granted)

Participants flocking in for the Duck Otta the Cold Convention.(© Image)

Conventions are pretty clear for other species, though.

Take Great White sharks. Unlike humans at conventions, they are not ones to risk their livers.

The conventionally feared apex predator’s apex predator? Orca whales.

Orcas have much better press than sharks.

“They have a lot of social behaviors that sharks do not, which allows them to hunt effectively in groups, communicate among themselves, and teach their young.”

When Orcas encounter Great Whites, it generally doesn’t go well for the sharks.

The whales have multiple methods to render sharks helpless, and interestingly, sharks seem to instinctively understand that it is best to exit the area if there’s even a whiff of Orca around – least you become an organ donor – well, actually a calorie-rich liver Hors D’Oeuvres.

“The orcas know their business, and they know where that organ lies. Rather than ripping their prey apart, it seems that orcas can extract livers with surprising finesse, despite lacking arms and hands.” Apparently “they bite their victims near their pectoral fins and then squeeze the liver out through the wounds. It’s like squeezing toothpaste.”

Another reason to make sure the ocean has plenty of healthy plump, Great White Sharks available. Don’t need the Orcas to start looking around for a Near Shark Meat meal substitute.

Scale that as needed.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

Great White Shark (Sharkcrew/

Simply a misunderstood loner approaching humans with a toothy smile desperately hoping for protection from the vicious bullying by pods of Orcas. (Only coincidence that the expression is oddly similar to a drunk predator at a convention, right?) (Sharkcrew/


Leave a Comment
  1. shoreacres / Nov 1 2019 7:31 am

    Predation as performance art: why not? And of course, there’s always a song. This one covers it all: convention-goers, landsharks, predator and prey. Enjoy the day — and stay away from those mallards. Rumor has it they’ve been taking predation lessons.


  2. Kate Crimmins / Nov 1 2019 7:53 am

    Sounds gruesome to me but then again I’m not an Orca. Each to his own.


  3. Anne Mehrling / Nov 1 2019 8:03 am

    I love your puns. Are you FINished for today? If not, I may try to blow holes in your narrative — all in good fun, of course.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. easyweimaraner / Nov 1 2019 8:49 am

    wow interesting… a little bit like hannibal lecter…..

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Curt Mekemson / Nov 3 2019 3:50 pm

    Ah, pate, I eat it every day…


  6. marina kanavaki / Nov 4 2019 6:22 am

    awwww….. poor White… she says from a safe distance! 😉


  7. Kirt D Tisdale / Nov 5 2019 12:28 pm

    Just getting ready for lunch and I had to read how the Orcas squeeze the liver out…..I’m way too much of a visual thinker. 🙂


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 6 2019 9:08 am

      All those sweet whale soundings recordings dredge up a whole different meaning now…what are they plotting?
      Unsettling, indeed.
      Thanks for a splashy comment

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Beth / Nov 12 2019 5:15 pm

    They just need a little Chianti and flava beans.


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