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July 25, 2019 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Handling kids


Children running. (1930 movie pub. image/USPD, artist life/

“Onward! There’s no way they can keep up with us!” And, sadly, they are right. (USPD/

While the On and Off button location is still a mystery, it looks like someone finally came up with a way to handle kids. About time.

Parents are always looking for a way to steer them in the right direction, and this may be it.

Tackle Ball football harness. (image:

Of course it’s comfortable. But wondering why they put the release buckles where the kid could reach them.(image:

No more worries about glares from the self righteous (whose children are always perfect) as you put one of those leashes on your faster than a speeding bullet wonderkid. You’re got a handle on it!

Now you can tackle with confidence when that mischievous little one sprints yet again towards the street while you threaten frantically from behind.

Perfect for large rambunctious families with older children who will be thrilled to charge into sibling correction.

Equally valuable for those parents blessed with a future celebrity who is constantly practicing their Paparazzi avoidance skills by dashing and hiding among department store rounders.

Boys playing. (image

You can tell these boys are always running into trouble. Not only wearing handles, but somehow their parents also managed to get head and tooth protection on them before leaving the house. Impressive. (image:

Oh, OK, that’s all hilarious, but here’s the real deal:

TackleBar Football offers more contract than flag football, thus closer to the real thing with all the traditional football gear.

But with the harness, the game is safer and offers players a chance to build proper tackle form and technique before hitting the traditional style football when older.

So if a kid wants to play football, but doesn’t want to get clobbered or parents are worried about concussions, this might be a good option. See how it all works here

So what do you think?

Looks to me, if this version of the game doesn’t catch on, the company might seriously consider reconfiguring that harness with firmly attached handles and marketing it in the “Toddler Restraint Accessory Department.”

All for getting a grip.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.


  1. Ally Bean / Jul 25 2019 7:48 am

    I dunno. I hope that the kids who play this enjoy it, of course. But I dunno…


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 25 2019 8:02 am

      Might be good to have alternative markets in the wings for this one? (Stitch those handles on really tight…maybe add a short sturdy bungee cord..and of course get some Disney/cartoon character licensed materials?) We’ll see if any one grabs onto the idea. Thanks for lining up a comment

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Anne Mehrling / Jul 25 2019 11:45 am

    Our grandchildren are well beyond the harness stage, since they are taller than we are. However, we did have a harness for our son when we lived in England from 1980 to 1982. It was marvelous. His arms and ours didn’t get tired of holding on, and we’d gently lift him off the ground as he was about to step in a puddle. As to the new-fangled game, it sounds most interesting.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 25 2019 12:48 pm

      Let the Do-gooders sneer, if you’ve got a kid faster than lightning and considering the world today, keeping a grip on things is a sensible caution considering the all too common realities.
      Once kids organized and played in neighborhoods. Organized teams for young kids has pros and cons – the worst being too much adult intervention and pressure. Fun runs away far and fast when adults are involved – and the kids learn entire different lessons about social behavior and life – often not so good. Free play needs to make a comeback…it’s not all about trophies. Thanks for pitching a comment over this home plate


      • Anne Mehrling / Jul 25 2019 2:24 pm

        I agree that free play needs to make a comeback. I’m glad I had plenty of it.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. shoreacres / Jul 25 2019 5:59 pm

    I’m of a divided mind. Despite advantages for parents, I just don’t like harnessed children. On the other hand, when it comes to football (and football in Texas, particularly), something that tones things down a little might be good, especially since I’m not much in favor of concussions and broken limbs, either. It would be interesting to know what coaches who actually work with kids think of the thing. It’s a creative idea, that’s for sure.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 26 2019 2:09 pm

      Like you we’re more “hold my hand or we’ll go home” sort of people – although recently in stores, watching small children tearing around, knocking stuff over, and almost bowling people over, too, I have to wonder if the manager shouldn’t have leashes available for out of control urchins whose parents don’t seem to have a clue or care…
      Apparently this harness game isn’t a new adaptation and was created by an NFL player who now has kids and he is concerned about concussions and about young players not having proper instruction for tackling and developing bad tackling habits that are difficult to change.
      Some will like it because it’s much more like real football than flag football (which some scorn). I had to laugh at one of the videos showing little kids when they said “safer since the ball carrier isn’t thrown to the ground” …the little ones just toddle and fall over all by themselves after the yellow bar is long gone. Nothings more fun than little kids playing…if the adults/coaches can keep themselves light and not take the fun out of it. We need more vacant lotted organized football and baseball games.
      Thanks for leashing a comment here

      Liked by 1 person

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