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July 23, 2019 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Jump! Weighted response.

Your presence of mind, oh, actually something weightier is requested. Get on your hiking boots or athletic shoes (the bigger and heavier the better).

It’s been discovered that the answer was floating under us all along and we need to get things moving in the right direction.

With a few wild leaps of imagination of determination and combined weight (Maybe there was a divine plan and purpose for making people fat?) we can jar those continental plates loose, break along the dotted lines, and voilà, worrisome global problems solved. 

Woman super hero fighting monsters. (Planet Stories cover, March, 1952 (USPD pub.date, artist life(commons.wikimedia.org

Hot on the trail of climate change solutions.(USPD/commons.wikimedia.org

Climate change making some countries too hot for survival? We got a continental drift for that. 

Hey, follow the Presidential suggestion of “if you don’t like it, well, move it.”

It appears several of the tectonic plates, including both Africa and Australia, are already moving north so if we strategically shifted of weight here and there to direct drift, and look how cool it would be! Most out of the too hot zone.

As a bonus, those dangerous mass immigration routes across long distances ended.

Big business would love it. Companies building high speed internet networks guaranteeing access worldwide would find their work so much easier. Amazon could ship orders everywhere faster.

Airlines’ shorter flight routes would be applauded for reducing energy consumption and carbon footprints. Oh, OK there’s still the Antarctica tourism, but restricted access to protect fragile polar environment could limit that. Who would really need to go there anyway when everything else is downtown in Amasia?

Map or globe showing Amasia the possible Super Continents formed by continental drift (Image: earthSky.org)

Here’s Amasia, a possible Supercontinent formed by continental drift. Will school kids have a contest to rename the giant consolidated blob? (Image: earthSky.org)

Naturally, unless we get organized and hurry, someone, Congress, the EU, or the UN will insist on holding hearings and you know, once special interest groups get involved, it’s mess.

Everyone will drift in with their two cents and insist their reconfiguration is better. Pangea Ultima will have supporters

Real estate companies and property investors crave miles of waterfront property which always sells at higher prices. Location, location, location.

Marathon enthusiasts might cheer that long distance runs could really be long distance, yet start and end in the same place.

With a round the world paved sidewalk, you could actually see the world on a golf cart. No more airport security lines! Great for tourist industry.

Less intrepid sailors might enjoy the contained bathtub sailing of the shrunken Atlantic Ocean.

Are the other land-combo options?

Never a good idea to give people too many choices, but OK look here: “What will Earth’s next supercontinent look like”

map of possible future Super Continent, Pangea Ultima which is formed by the Atlantic ocean closing up and continents drifting to surround it. (Image: earthsky.org)

Introducing the lovely ring of Pangea Ultima.(Image: earthsky.org)

Get those continents into gear and into hyper-drift. There’s so little time to address climate change and this mass human migration

“… every few hundred million years, the continents combine to create massive supercontinents…”

What? Oh, surely we can speed that up. Ground is already shaking in California and Italy.

Everybody with odd numbered birthday go stand over there and everyone with even numbered birthdays stand over here…

Now on the count of three, all together now, jump!

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

man and woman fighting monsters from center of Earth (Planet Stories, Fall 1944 cover. USPD/pub.date, artist's life/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Of course there are those who believe if humans tinker with things we do not understand like cracking open the Teutonic plates, there’s a risk of unexpected consequences. But hey, if people can build massive cities like New Orleans and Mexico City on what was once swamp waters and dam rivers so that S.California can have water and cities like Palm Springs or Vegas can have fountains and green lawns, what are the chances? (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

22 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Ally Bean / Jul 23 2019 8:23 am

    Interesting. I’d suggest that we call this new supercontinent Blobland. I’m not a school kid, but I’m a pragmatist who sees a blob and thinks let’s name it for the obvious. No need to make this tricky.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 23 2019 9:29 am

      YES! No blathering to bother. Should we start printing Bloblandovian t-shirts? Must be colorful as no one will want to be identified by the last 5 letters of the new designation. Thanks for being spot on

      Liked by 1 person

  2. jacqueslebec / Jul 23 2019 9:11 am

    You are on to something. I am “Anti Continental Drift!” Where are the “Pro Continental Drifters?” If we don’t believe in something we believe in nothing, stand up and be counted!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 23 2019 9:31 am

      I can see it forming up and disintegrating into: “Stand up and jump with conviction” vs the “Stop the jumping madness”
      Thanks for the standing remark

      Like

  3. Anne Mehrling / Jul 23 2019 9:33 am

    Delightful! Problem solved for me. Denmark daughter wants me to visit, but I won’t get on an airplane again. Tell me where to stand to jump.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 23 2019 9:39 am

      Anything that strengthens family relationships and bonds must be fast tracked. Will forward assigned jump zones – each appropriate to participant’s location as long distance travel must be avoided to comply with the “environmentally friendly” label) Thanks for crunching up a comment to leave

      Like

  4. the #1 Itinerary / Jul 23 2019 10:01 am

    Great post 🙂

    Like

  5. snakesinthegrass2014 / Jul 23 2019 11:20 am

    Definitely some interesting ideas put forth here; you put some real thinking into many of them. Well done. I for one am willing to allow my home state of Florida to start with the continental drift. – Marty

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 23 2019 3:02 pm

      The authors Green, Davies, Duarte really shaped up continental article which allowed a bit of drift into possibilities and benefits. Perhaps we can use chickens on a stick to encourage some of your gators to tow the land lumps where we want them. Could reshape the tourist industries. Thanks for swinging by for a chat

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Kate Crimmins / Jul 23 2019 11:55 am

    I have my sneakers on and are awaiting orders on direction!

    Like

  7. shoreacres / Jul 23 2019 8:26 pm

    Remember when Congressman Hank Johnson suggested in a House hearing a few years back that adding additional military personnel to Guam might cause the island to tip over and sink? He just might have been on to something. Eventually he “clarified” his comments and said he was joking — but was he? We’d better be careful where we step! Galveston might be the next to go!

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 24 2019 8:36 am

      No wonder the planet keeps blowing its’ top. (Darn those polluting volcanoes…or is it a hot attempt to crisp and break off the plates? Not everyone likes hot bites served up…)
      Thanks for adding that incident some who are not early adopters would rather forget!

      Like

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