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June 18, 2019 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Flexible definitions

German Shepherd sprawled on couch with kid legs. (© image. all rights reserved, copyrighted, no permissions granted)

“Of course it counts as a nap. We’re laying down aren’t we?” (© image)

Dear RC Cat,

I, Ella – You remember me right? The German’s second in command – do appreciate the loan of Staff while part of ours escapes must leave for business.

I tried to interject that WE do our business everyday and neither it nor we disappear.

I huddled with the others and we all agreed to ignore any leavings if that would add a comfort level to prevent departure, but apparently our Staff, being humans, have vague definitions of things. You, as a cat of many years, are probably the expert on human’s foolish concepts.

While the Realm here was manageable even with The wild ninja Short Person, the arrival of those dog orphans, Rocky and Scooby, seem to have chewed the seams of calm….and one rug….and a couple of pillows….and Person’s fleece throw…and, well, you get the idea.

They are mouthy and cannot be trusted. Backup and companionship is appreciated, but the brothers, having gained some feeling of security, are frequently overly-enthusiastic and joust energetically enough to skid part of the sectional loose and into the wall.

three German Shepherds snoozing or plotting. (© image, copyrighted, no permissions granted, ALL rights reserved

Three German Shepherds snoozing or plotting. Left to right: Scooby, Ella, Rocky – who is probably doing the plotting.(© image)

The German would be appalled at the chaos….and, as I hang my own head a bit with tail drooping, I, Ella, have on occasion joined in the canine carousing …and, sigh, am now considered the source of loudest barking at small annoying creatures like those fluffs next door that people say are dog but hardly qualify compared to us. We shall not even bring up my sworn nemesis squirrels.

You willingness to loan staff for a few days – out of kindness and in accordance to the Realms’ Mutual Aid Agreements negotiated by The German who had great foresight as to what would happen once I assumed the RC role, is appreciated more than you can imagine.

Neither being stuck outside in the extreme heat alternating with thunderstorms or being locked in crates far too long mean happy summer to wayward  noble German Shepherds. (The boys just wanna have fun, fun, fun now half of staff is MIA…)

Your Staff has a much firmer grip on consistent dog expectations – and we just love behavior refresher courses her. Only we wish she was a bit fatter – apparently if there isn’t enough room for all dogs on the lap, no dog gets to own the lap.

We shall pretend to be sad as she departs, then dance back to our own little merry way once the door shuts relinquish her as agreed.

Your grateful friend in pause,

Ella Bella (as dictated to Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge)

German Shepherd dog on wood floor staring forward. (© image, copyrighted, all rights reserved, NO permissions granted)

“This mind control thing isn’t working so well. I’ve even added a visual aid pointing to the door which needs to be opened so I can charge out and make sure that darn squirrel squadron understands who’s yard this is. RC Cat must have put password protection on her loaned out Staff’s incoming receptors.” (© image)


  1. Kate Crimmins / Jun 18 2019 6:46 am

    That’s a lot of dog to take care of but I bet they are happy to live in such a household. I’ll talk to my cats. Maybe they will send one of their spare fleeces.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 20 2019 11:46 am

      Round ’em up and moooove them out easily applies – has anyone ever invented a super big hamster wheel? A dog without exercise is a dog headed for trouble…
      I’m sure they believe they could have landed no better spot (and still unable to convince them they do not have to land on my foot)
      Scooby is rather miffed no one sees that with enough squirrel tails, the fleece could easily be replaced…(appreciate the generous offer, but do cats ever admit they have a “spare fleece”? RC sniffs that those two words do not exist in cat vocabulary…but yours may be more altruistic.) Thanks for chuckling along

      Liked by 1 person

  2. easyweimaraner / Jun 18 2019 7:49 am

    amazing that they prefer the floor… the twins would even pick the sofa when we had 187°F LOL


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 20 2019 11:53 am

      As the couch is directly under the fan, under normal conditions, at least 2 of them are sprawled there. Ella inherited The German’s elevated bed and owns it like a Queen. Seems like being unsure on the potential/rules they want to keep a close eye on substitute staff – and stay near the door because maybe they can con her into letting them go back outside and run amok again. Even better, close to the door if the firetruck comes by and wants to race again! They will need some high-powered dog nose smudge remover for the glass doors before long. Thanks for joining paws.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. shoreacres / Jun 18 2019 7:53 am

    I couldn’t figure out at first who’s left and who’s stayed, let alone where the chaos is taking place, but everyone looks remarkably happy, and I think I have things sorted now. Whether the staff in charge can keep things sorted is a different issue, and one that surely will lead to more bulletins from the front!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 20 2019 11:55 am

      Treading water most like it. The dog wrangling reinforcements should return here shortly. Whew. Thanks for tossing a treat this way

      Liked by 1 person

  4. pensitivity101 / Jun 18 2019 7:59 am

    Love posts like this…….. love GSDs…….. love dogs. Great narrative, so believable. Maggie, although not a GSD, already rules the roost, has custody of the lap and the double bed, but surprisingly not the sofa! Hugs and treats by proxy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • LordBeariOfBow / Jun 18 2019 10:27 pm

      These are amazing posts, I look forward to them with glee. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 20 2019 11:59 am

      I stumbled into a dog conversation and thought I heard one of them say Ella should start shopping for a book agent – that animal authors can take a good bite out of the book market.(Ella looked puzzled as she has never shown even the slightest interest in paper products – other than that one fashion magazine…)
      Pets gladly delivered (and the greenie toss will be done in your honor today) Thanks for giggling along

      Liked by 1 person

  5. LordBeariOfBow / Jun 18 2019 10:31 pm

    I do believe that when I die and am up for resurrection, I shall request coming back as a German Shepherd orphan in Texas.
    I’ll fix that RC Cat!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 20 2019 12:30 pm

      Ha! You’d be well placed. There’s a huge and serious GS rescue league here. They are very picky who gets their dogs (which a network fosters in homes): bring references, and yes, they may do a home visit before they decide if you are worthy – and if they have the perfect match dog for you. They have meetings on patios with all the rescued and placed in forever homes /foster dogs still in waiting- usually on patios of crafts breweries – with bands. As they say, you don’t just get a dog, you get a lifestyle.
      Sayin’ nervously, I think RC Cat has a picture of dog that looks suspiciously like Coco…and she was mumbling something about “not hostage, a guest to insure behavior…”
      Don’t say I never warned you.
      Thanks for dog trotting over this way


      • LordBeariOfBow / Jun 20 2019 6:31 pm

        I’m pretty sure that there’s a bit of good ol’ English blood running through your veins Phil,

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Littlesundog / Jun 19 2019 5:51 am

    It was probably time for the “chewed” items to be replaced anyway… it’s kind of like having Marie Kondo come in and help you decide what sparks joy. I have a feeling Scooby, Rocky and Ella do just that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 20 2019 12:33 pm

      Well, the always say GS are far too smart for they own good. Canine Marie Kondo. I’m going to remember that one.(I’ll just jot it down…somewhere under this dog hair, there’s a notepad…) Thanks for smiling along

      Liked by 1 person

  7. susielindau / Jun 19 2019 8:36 am

    I can’t have a bird feeder or the squirrels are in it all day and the raccoons all night. Roxy had fleas that summer!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 20 2019 12:37 pm

      No need for feeders – this realm has a giant oak tree with sweeping arms. It’s apparently the favorite take out food place for all sorts of creatures.
      Whew, fleas? They can get into the yard – and then everywhere. At least you have cold weather to thrash them back…outside anyway. (Here the big concern with visitors like raccoon, skunks, bats, and even a wild squirrel that bit people this week is not so much the fleas they have, but rabies. If you live in the woods in this climate…)
      Thanks for feeding in a comment

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Ally Bean / Jun 19 2019 1:26 pm

    So much energy. And innocence. And entertainment in those dogs. I can’t imagine how much more stuff will be sacrificed in the name of doggy fun.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 20 2019 12:39 pm

      Staff will need a loooong nap upon return. (But hey, at these extreme temperatures, naps are on the schedule!) Thanks for risking a stop to toss in a comment ( I caught it before it got shredded)


  9. cat9984 / Jul 31 2019 4:13 am

    Our human sister is leaving her 7 (!!) cats here while she’s gone for a few days. We are discussing ways to “lose” some of them. Purrs, Snoops and Kommando Kitty



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