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March 27, 2019 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Catch and Release

Cat Niala looking through front door. (© image, all rights reserved, copyrighted, no permissions granted)

Well, not too sure this one isn’t a mutant. It’s the neighbor’s hussy cat, Niala, staring in the front door’s watery glass panel desperately hoping to be given a visa in order to try out for the Indoor Mosquito Hawk Ambush Team.(© image)

We do not believe the explanation that these creatures are mutants.

The Molly may smile and say she only participates in Catch and Release, but We have suspect otherwise.

We have warned Staff it is not wise to allow Molly Malamute to observe videos of wild foxes diving into snowbanks for dinners or wolves leaping into brush after bunnies, but no.

There seem to be an unusually large number of very nervous lizards and chameleons with odd tail stubs in the backyard.

Yesterday’s evidence:

The Molly circled the home for wayward lizards giant potted plant five times searching for a chameleon who has obviously trained for America’s Ninja Lizard Warrior.

As the chameleon prey prayed from the highest frond, Molly put two front paws on the planter edge and swung a third hind leg into the pot as the one remaining leg wobbled on spread toes trying to support her tripod position…

Before We could stop chortling with anticipatory laughter yell out a warning the teetering lump of fur dog fell over with a surprised yelp.

Any sad doggy faces or holding up of paw should be ignored. Staff has complied been instructed.

The Molly is quite cranky after missing today’s dog friends frolics because it’s punishment Staff was overly concerned about a possible sprained toe.

Do not be fooled. It is a ruse. For treats.

Just ignore her mumbles about “Nobody said that pot was off-limits. Heard it is perfectly harmless and legal now, right?”

Sigh. A little knowledge is a painful thing.

Dog peering over desk ..begging (© image all rights reserved, NO permissions granted, Copyrighted)

“Aw, come on. The toe is fine. Get the car keys. Please?”(©image)

More pain is being tossed by the local Oak trees.

Their Spring bombardment continues with endless launches of odd veggie-type caterpillar thingies that belch the most obnoxious yellow dust over everything.

We wish someone would inform the Oaks they are tardy to the party: The local spring Holi Festival is past. Cut the dusting crop.

But take heart, acorn producers, there’s always next year. Leaf time to coordinate things better.

Meanwhile, We suggest immediate ceasefire of all remaining yellow powders. Organic pollen has a short pigment life. Joggers and doggers are not feeling blessed by the mess.

Although We appreciate your interruption  unscheduled audience, We must demand with ugly face sadly leave you here as it is the Day of the Rotation.

Since the sun now warms different window sills, Staff must relocate Our indoor garden of lush grass – for medicinal purposes only. How dare you suggest addiction!

And We have requested the winter bed be unplugged and Our lovely tropical beach towel be fluffed and located for optimum afternoon sunbathing.

We know you are too dense to see you are slowing things down and can’t even bother to grab a paper towel and blot up those water splashes  are too polite to overstay your welcome.

Yes, Yes, you are released. We shall enjoy a longer chat at a later date.

You have Our permission to withdraw.

cat and funny cat joke (West TX newspaper clipping image)

Just to clarify…(West TX newspaper clipping)

Staff! Somebody point them to the door Staff! Please, be so kind to assist them.

Our paw has waved.

Audience over. Fini.

And don’t forget to leave the tribute of an open can of food in the doorway.

Adieu. 

crown symbol with message "I am RC Cat and I approve this message"

I am RC Cat and I approve this message.

14 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. easyweimaraner / Mar 27 2019 7:10 am

    oh poor pup…that is toe-tally horrible to have such a bad hunting accident… hugs and POTP to you…

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Mar 27 2019 9:41 am

      RC Cat: “We have forwarded your kind consolations and wishes to Our Molly. She seems to have changed her hunting style to stretching up walls and nosing cracks. Scrapes my be possible, but less worrisome. Staff was worried she would be like the kid who breaks an arm at the beginning of swimming pool season. Happily she is prancing happy on walks today. A double chin nod to you…as there are two of you, and We would not wish to cause a fight over a prize…oh, my and there is your Mom and Dad there, too – Oh we are sending multiple head bobbing thanks – you see them, yes? Oh, We are getting dizzy now. We must lay down. Toodles – with a weary paw wave in appreciation of your concern.”

      Like

  2. Kate Crimmins / Mar 27 2019 7:11 am

    Has PETA heard about the de-tailing of the lizards? Sorry but I did laugh at a picture of a dog as large as Molly tripoding a pot. Even if it is legal now. Our big pollen season hasn’t quite started yet. We have large cherry laurels next to the screened porch. It announces itself by dousing everything including sleeping cats with a layer of yellow-green. It’s a rite of passage into better weather. Sometimes.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Mar 27 2019 9:47 am

      RC Cat: “Peta. One reason We have allowed that Nyla to loll around the front door – she should distract them. Life is so complicate. We must ponder.”
      Staff: Watching Molly attempt to climb into that large pot was hysterical – if her center of gravity had been more forward, she might have made it when pushing off with that last leg. Then what would have happened next? Doesn’t seemed to have warned her off completely as we’ve seen her cruising around that planter.
      It’s perfect weather here, except for the pollen (and any park near the water closed in case the water/shore is polluted from the fire run off). I Alamos t feel like we need one of those tunnel car washes to come back into the house. So not fair. It will be scorching hot shortly. Possible rain this weekend…feast of famine.
      Thanks for giggling along

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ally Bean / Mar 27 2019 10:43 am

    Great joke. Nice and catty!

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Mar 27 2019 11:14 am

      RC Cat. “Yes, yes. It’s purrfect – and included in Staff Training Manual.” Cheery paw wave sent ( along with chortling laughter)

      Liked by 1 person

  4. The Hook / Mar 28 2019 5:44 am

    I miss our cat, Felix.
    Yes, we weren’t exactly creative when it came to feline pet names…

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Mar 28 2019 8:12 am

      RC Cat. “Someday we hope to catch one of those Felix wall clocks and will never release that one! Sigh. The memories of true feline stars. We thank you for the memories – oh, OK, a soft cheek pat, too..you would think gracious words were enough…Humans are so needy…”

      Like

  5. shoreacres / Mar 29 2019 7:56 am

    Hmmm.. Molly and I may have more in common than I realized. When I returned from my recent foray into the wildflower wilds (yes, I sneaked away), the list of souvenirs included two barbed wire slices, three barbed wire puncture wounds, six fire ant bites (including one under my chin) and a bit of poison ivy rash. At least I didn’t tripod anything!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Mar 29 2019 8:33 am

      Thought you might be rumbling through fields and stream….imitating tumbleweeds not recommended. (Only excitement here is getting whacked in the head by pollen-ladened angry veggie oak caterpillars).
      Molly’s hunting expeditions are humorous…if she had managed to push off hard enough with that last leg, she probably would have launched herself clear through that fluffy palm and completely over crashing on the other side…with the lizard catapulting to safety…just like an old Disney cartoon. We suspect Molly has been told by the cat that climbing is a sure fire hunting technique…
      It is the final quiet and temperature tolerable days for outdoors. We’ll risk the itches. Thanks for sticking up a comment here

      Liked by 1 person

      • shoreacres / Mar 29 2019 10:33 am

        Enjoy the day, and half of tomorrow. It seems as though we’re going to have a little dose of cool. If we’re lucky, we’ll get enough wind and rain to get rid of the pollen.

        Liked by 1 person

        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Mar 29 2019 10:49 am

          Chance of rain and one last bit of cool – no complaints here! (Will get fertilizer on lawn tomorrow…will spare you the harsh words of about the stubbornness of dollar weed in dog path barren spots with struggling grass…)

          Like

  6. LordBeariOfBow / Apr 14 2019 9:27 pm

    The arrogance of cats never ceases to astound me, don’t they know that when god created all creatures he had one left over, the perfect creature and stumped for a name decided to spell his own name backwards Dog,
    Which surely goes to prove that God was English, Would have been pretty hard to say Havohej wouldn’t it? when talking about our favourite friends 🐩🐩🐶 🐶🐾🐾
    Running late catching up Phil 😛

    Like

  7. cat9984 / Apr 28 2019 10:06 am

    We love you RC Cat. Purrs, Snoops and Kommando Kitty

    Like

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