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November 28, 2018 / philosophermouseofthehedge

The Floozy next door

Two girls holding cat by candle light (1768 painting by Joseph Wright of Derby (USPD.artist life, pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Who can resist the little darlings? They know exactly what they are doing.(USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

We have a floozy next door.

She with a studied walk worthy of designer runways

Seductively showing up when there are gatherings

That accidental brushing up against that’s no accident.

Workin’ all sides of the street – actually, sprawling out in the street

We really hope Nyla doesn’t overestimate her commanding presence and end up as a sail cat.

Window sightings have resulted in several strategy planning sessions between Molly Malamute and RC Cat.

“That cat knows it’s OUR porch bench, right RC?”

“You checked to make sure there’s still a No Vacancy sign out front? Despite having her own indoor realm, that Nyla prefers the life of a street walker. Says she gets lonely. Pfff.”

“I’m still next in line of RC succession, right? That position can pass to a canine like it did with The German’s Realm, yes RC?”

“We may be classified as a Senior, but We still have The Power of the Paw. We shall see. That Nyla floozy has established herself as a skilled mouser, so We shall grant her Outer Realm privileges. But she still must cease lounging disrespectfully on the windowsill blocking Our sun.”

cat in profile. (© image: copyrighted, NO permissions granted, All rights reserved)

Profile in courage. The sun is worth fighting for. Screens are no barrier in times of crisis.(© image)

With a quick paw, RC slips a flyer to the Molly. 

“Here. We’ve decided upon what holiday gift We shall receive from Our loyal subjects and staff. You must carry the request. As the Queen at Versailles said, commerce is unbecoming for a monarch.”

” Uh, Wheel, clever. But….”

“Yes, yes. With this We shall cruise the outer realms with elegance and might. With Our windblown ruff flying behind us, We shall be the Ultimate Female Bad Ass that Hollywood shall struggle to emulate for eternity! That floozy shall huddle in the bushes overcome by awe at Our reckless careening  triumphant progress.”

“RC, I’m not sure Staff will…”

Off road Hoverboard. The All Terrain Hoverfly XL by GOTRAX (Screenshot)

The All Terrain Hoverfly XL Off Road Hoverboard (GOTRAX Screenshot)

“Presentation is everything. Staff can easily be convinced that the wheelie will allow them to finally provide their Molly with a flat-out running experience during dog walks. Just give the picture to them and look hopeful. Off with you, now. Audience fini

The Molly considers as HRH stomps off with dignity (With as much dignity as possible with a chunk of loose hair sticking out between two back toes.)

“If Staff decides to actually take a wheel too far, I’ll have to be hopeful they bounce and mend quickly…On second thought, maybe they have a Hello Kitty version to warn people what’s coming. Simply insist it’s a special personalized model.”

As the internet shopping cart wheel spins,

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

Cat Christmas ornament. (© image, copyrighted, all rights reserved, NO permissions granted

Life imitating art? Be afraid. Be very afraid… (© image)

 

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20 Comments

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  1. Littlesundog / Nov 28 2018 7:19 am

    A neighborhood floozy? Gaspers! Not much you can do about a hoochie in the neighborhood once they’ve set up stakes on your street.

    I wonder if those All-Terrain hoverboards can really handle “ranch” terrain? I’ve not seen one that can manage more than a little grass, dirt, sand and mud… and I’m not thinking the kind of mud we deal with here. I laugh at what city people consider “all-terrain”. But it might just work for what RC has in mind!!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 28 2018 5:11 pm

      Nyla is such a sweetie – when her “mom” leaves, she heads out her cat door and goes door to door looking for company…staring in windows and doors.She’s even pounded on our front door as she knew we were hiding away from the windows. HAHA Looks like we’ve found a way to get rid of all that food we bought that RC has turned her nose up at?
      You’re right about the questionable label as all-terrain…maybe for city park trails? The oaks trees that line our streets are big enough now that the roots are lumping up the sidewalks….with the similarity to an up ramp, you might be able to launch a hoverboard? (Kids will probably test that out…ER docs here hate those board)
      But I can see the cat on it…fur flying…the ideal super cat woman!
      (Hope you and yours are doing well. Thinking about y’all) Thanks for flinging a comment down this path

      Liked by 1 person

      • Littlesundog / Nov 28 2018 7:30 pm

        I hope to find time to write soon. I’ve been blazing a trail to NE and back quite a bit the last months. Lots going on here too. It’s always a nice thing for me to kick back with a cup of coffee and read your posts. The “super cat woman with fur flying” will stay in mind for a long time!! Ha ha!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Kate Crimmins / Nov 28 2018 7:49 am

    We don’t get many free roaming cats here. It they are young, they get scooped up into the house and homed someplace nice. We did have a dog once but it had tags and a phone number. His owner who lived several blocks away was quite grateful although he didn’t know he was missing yet. The cats here have to deal with chipmunks who have the audacity to moon them from the other side of the sliding door. That’s usually quite the “ta do.” Fur flying, chattering, hollering, yet nothing is really accomplished except that a good nap is needed afterwards.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 30 2018 7:37 pm

      as a bird sanctuary, there aren’t supposed to be any outdoor cats here…but the neighborhood is seeing the 4th wave of new people and some aren’t aware of the ordinance. Most of us have realized that being this close to the lake, marina, wetlands, and the restaurants close enough to walk to, that there are mice…the hawks and owls can eat just so many…so we watch out for the good mousers and watch for animal control trucks.
      Molly loves the small grey squirrels and the larger reddish ones that are now enjoying the oaks that have grown big – and the palm trees. RC prefers the screen lizards…and that Nyla better nor poach those lizards! (That’s probably her real concern)
      Thanks for giggling at the cat tails

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ally Bean / Nov 28 2018 9:13 am

    Floozy is a word that we as a society do not use often enough. I’ve just decided that. As for your particular floozy, I rather like her saucy approach to life. Even if your crew is a bit more skeptical about her.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 30 2018 7:30 pm

      Floozy does need some attention. Different than a hussy. One, shallow and silly with one manipulative and maybe heartless?
      Molly has been known to mutter (when RC is no where to be seen), “It takes one to know one.”
      Nyla is just such a sweetie we’re all worried someone not form this block will think she’s a stray and take her home. I’ve already rushed out to make sure the lady who walks her 2 small girls everyday in a wagon do matter the weather. I noticed not only were they stopping everyday when Nyla ran over to get pets, they started bringing cans of food. I explained Nyla has a cat door and plenty of food and she is no way being starved or abandoned. I think the little girls were very disappointed as thy had convinced their mom that the cat needed rescuing. Maybe Santa will give a shelter kitten a lift to their house.
      Thanks for dancing along

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Laurie / Nov 28 2018 9:36 am

    What a beautiful cat! She deserves to act like a floozy!

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 30 2018 7:19 pm

      While our RC Cat blushes at her younger wilder days, she refuses to enable the neighbor cat, Nyla, in cozying up to all the houses on the block and walking around pretending to be hungry at every door. RC warns if Nyla thinks each porch is a buffet station, she’ll be as fat as a house within months. The curse of cute. Thanks for fluffing up a comment to leave.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. ShimonZ / Nov 28 2018 10:48 am

    Always so good to listen in to the thoughts of RC cat. Beautiful profile of courage

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 30 2018 7:15 pm

      RC Cat is always up to learn new sports…which is why she is restricted to indoor realms…when younger she was far to interested tall trees and in mimicking flying squirrels. Thanks for hovering here

      Like

  6. Xena and Lucy / Nov 28 2018 12:58 pm

    We absolutely must get a pic of RC on her new Christmas hover board. That is, if Molly delivers the message…

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 30 2018 7:12 pm

      Perhaps a cat guided Roman chariot with Molly pulling instead? (I think we need to petition the city to all “Caution” and “No outlet” signs at the entrance to our street just in case) Paw waves and thanks fo for a vote to insist Santa pay attention two wishes!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. aFrankAngle / Nov 28 2018 6:35 pm

    RC is calm, cool, and calculating – so the floozy better beware.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 29 2018 8:03 am

      And HRH outweighs her..a simple sit down and suffocation by excessive fluff…oh, that’s just a novel mystery plot…nothing more….
      Thanks for tossing in some supporting words

      Liked by 1 person

  8. shoreacres / Nov 28 2018 9:38 pm

    There is a kid around here who runs his dog while on a skateboard. I’ve been trying to decide whether the skateboard or hoverboard would be more dangerous, but in the end, there probably isn’t any difference — at least, if Molly’s the one setting the pace. If she outran the hoverboard, I’d fear for her becoming just another speed bump!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 29 2018 7:59 am

      Even more thrilling is the kid on the motorized skateboard in our neighborhood streets…Molly keeps staring at him like she knows something’s not quite right…no foot pushing with the controller in his pocket or hoodie.
      Staff worries more about be coming a speed bump – hoverhoard or too long leash enabling dog to pick up speed, some concern HAHA
      There have been fires from some hover boards (batteries), maybe I should just go with a Sedgeway with a handle – even if it’s more psychological than real steering.
      In any case, thanks for looking out for the wheel thing!

      Like

  9. LordBeariOfBow / Nov 30 2018 9:17 pm

    With RC in control there’s no need to call in the vice squad to take care of Nyla, is there?

    better check with staff Molly.!

    Like

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