Don’t eat the ham

Hmmm. Here’s a good way to make anyone turn green: start with Screen of Death and ham…. (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Sandwiched between the Genius Bar and the ham, a lost day.

Crash. Not what want to see upon opening the computer…much less “crash” in all 537 files listed on that

Despite the fact that computer was unplugged during the traditional violent coming-to-blows-cold front vs the warm Gulf moisture on Halloween night, computer smirked and took the day off. (What was this? Empathy or solidarity with electric grid dependent appliances? Just put in a R&R request like everyone else – We’re flexible, computer)

Suspiciously the MIA routine was right after and update. (Nothing like wanting to make a grand entrance…) Glitch happened after the last one, too. (Leading the Apple guy to say, “Next time, maybe just come in preemptively and update here. HAHA.” Well, by then it was funny.)

Apparently, updates are touchy about wavering WiFi signals and where I like to work may be a bit too far from our WiFi’s origin…or there’s an obstruction like a wall…one with any sort of wires or water pipes in it….(uh, what else are interior walls mainly supposed to do beside hide ugly hazardous stuff – as well as hold up ceilings…having redone multiple houses, the holding up ceiling thingy is critical to know)

Anxiety and boredom while watching the white line indicating the update’s progress (There are 3 critical spots during that bar. If you don’t get past those spots, there’s a fatal roadblock and rescue is beyond possible bile without a total search and destroy wipe. Whew!)

So can’t complain, the Apple Guy was interesting: used to work at Apple Corporate, but likes troubleshooting better – gets to do mystery solving and interact with lots of people. He’s really good with customer service. While congenial, he had a shadow of fragile – just a small bit of uneasy energy and spotted one of those suicide survivor tats. It wasn’t hidden or anything, but not really something you bring up in conversation in a professional setting. He seems ok now – and you hope that holds. Life is way too much stressful these days.

So with computer finally feeling really wanted and treasured ( and much too powerful…) – Now supporting a wonderful updated OS system with new features…Cool!

Except for the ham.

I told them “Don’t eat the ham.”

Anytime you discover stuff that has been long buried – and has a well past date on it, just don’t.

But Sr. Staff defiantly did. And worse, fed it to Molly Malamute.

You can guess. 

We attributed her lack of energy and not wanting anyone to sit next to her to being hot or tired. She reluctantly hauled herself up and went to last walk of the night – shorter than usual when she turned around immediately after finding an acceptable spot to squat. Went straight to bed.

She started throwing up about midnight. Not only feeling physically terrible, she appeared in emotional distress after upchucking on her bed. I rushed to reassure her, it wasn’t big deal and she wasn’t going to be discarded because she was sick.

The cat scrambled out of the room to the safety of her inner chamber loft. Some friend. (Grumbling as she exited that her unwanted, discarded food never smelled like that. “No self-respecting cat…”)

Spent a while following with miserable pup around with paper towels, plastic bag, and wet rags for her mouth. Pulling off pet bed covers to pile in the laundry and gathering up multiple throw rugs. Molly seems to think those are throw-up rugs. Maybe she’s seen me cleaning the wood floor so much for muddy paw prints, she thought she was doing me a favor by aiming for the rugs…

 Finally, the exhausted dog looked ready to attempt sleep…but not in her regular armchair spot – like she wasn’t going to risk getting is smelly and wet. I put a clean blanket on her bed and she curled gratefully on it.

Much later she I did hear her lurch up go out of the room and hack up more, but she immediately came back and went to sleep, so I decided to just leave it until morning.

Sometimes you just want to disappear into the wallpaper.(USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Much to the cat’s annoyance.

Morning was much better. Got some water down. Trip outside – all to the irritated chorus of cat instructions. I thought she just wanted food, another kind of food, a new mouse, a little brushing. But the yowling did not cease.

Finally, I said to her “OK Timmy’s in the well. Show me where.” And the cat smugly led me down the hall, pausing to firmly point paw to a little spot here, a little spot there, a larger puddle here…I swear the cat enjoys being a tattletale about dog misbehavior/misfortune.

Mainly she was livid that there was a large lumpy hammy puddle in the room where she sits in the window to observe morning activity of the Outer Realm. She fluffed herself up huge and demanded to know how she could be expected to go in there with that smell.

We have lots of cleaner and paper towels. All better.

Luckily the garbage comes tomorrow.

So the moral of this story: Crash doesn’t mean cash required, cats are so superior they feel no shame in smug delight when pointing out others’ failures, and don’t eat the ham.

Onward through the fog

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge