Waves, cats, and saves.

Noooo! Stop motion requested.(USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Like a baseball player sliding to tag a runner diving for first base, I caught the movement in mid-air just before the “Buy now” key was clicked while shouting, “What do you think are you doing?”

With a level stare of annoyed authority, RC Cat: “What is needed. Simply reducing regulations and shortening bureaucracy. Exercise equipment is a worthy investment.”

Staff: “Exercise equipment? That’s not a cat tree. It’s a sculptural shelf – a fancy, expensive thingy.”

RC Cat: “Really? Well, if that’s the case, you have to admit it would make a lovely mousie display piece. Perfect – like a tree with inhabitants. All the museums are going for natural surroundings.”

Staff: (Blocking the keyboard) “Please – it’s huge. Where would it fit? Besides open mousie displays do not fare well here. Too tempting for the dog and too hard to dust. No.”

“Branch”. A very large 3-D printed bronze sculpture holding a small version of itself on the top shelf. By Joris Laarman. More about the piece here.

RC CAT: (Large sigh) “Well, then, you might as well cancel the other item which seems to be large enough to cover that entire wall over there. Sad. We had planned entirely removed that irritating talking box. Better for your health. This delightful swirling Wall Wave was obviously intended as soothing mental exercise equipment. Like catnip for humans. Don’t say We never do anything nice for you.”

In front, a Vortex Bookcase. A screen of constantly moving, ever-changing waves and swirls in back.(Joris Laarman Lab)

Staff: “Oh, OK, mesmerizing, but as usual you neglected to read the fine print. People are supposed to watch the flowing image until they see the exact design they like. Then the image is paused to become the blueprint for a 3-D printer to create a totally unique bookcase.”

RC Cat: “Absurd. The flowing image is much more useful. Zen. Wavy furniture only make sense as a training device for Ninja Warrior Cat. Bookcases? You can read what you want into that. Anachronistic: hiding being behind the times with sculpture.”

Staff: “Hey, there are books. Have to go somewhere. What’s the problem?”

RC Cat: “Curses.”

Staff: “What?”

RC Cat: ” All sorts of curses applicable, Dunderhead! A thin digital reader neatly holds thousands of titles leaving more space and money for cat exercise equipment. Frightening.”

Staff: “What? The thought of exercising?”

RC Cat: “Where is that blood pressure lowering Wave Wall when it’s needed! Scary things are better when smaller, so they can be tucked out of sight until daylight and courage return. Like The Bone Curse. Terrifying and it’s not even Halloween.”

Staff: “Bone curse? RC, are you feeling achy or something?”

RC Cat: “Bonehead! It’s summer, vacation time. People are visiting odd, old places – dangerous places – without realizing what they do. Like the kids in the cave. They would get it! Nothing like shared experience to intensify the terror. What are you doing? Put Us down. We do not require medical attention, but you may soon, if you do not release Us. You will be cursed! Especially if you miss this opportunity:”

Staff: “Oh, blogger Carrie Rubin’s most recent scary book. Yeah, you’re right – it would be frightful to miss out on that deal. Word of warning, keeping that book by your bed at night is seriously asking for nightmares. It all starts in an ancient Paris catacomb during a vacation…”

RC Cat: “NO! Speak no more of scary undergoundness! But before you let the computer go dark, could We consider that lovely, large not-a-cat-tree item for the garden? Think how lovely it would be as a bird restaurant…even as an entertaining squirrel stage? No? It would fit perfectly where that Queen palm died. Just consider it. We shall continue this discussion later. Now We must go inventory Our store of tributes…In case there is a social cave-in…you know, like a drive-in only not moving or like a sit-in with more elegance, a grand soiree in the dark. Yes, yes. Summer always bring such surprises….like the large box UPS will be delivering….Once it is clawed up, it cannot be returned. Au revoir. Must do my nails.”

Staff: “Hello? UPS? Hold?” (Sigh)

Life in the Realm.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

Avoid a cat shopping online, but check out Carrie’s book – Don’t try to read it alone in the dark!!!

Related posts about 3-D printing:

• “Machines learning to sit pretty,” (3-D furniture)
• “Machining devices“, (Video of Joris Laarman Lab using 3-D printer to create)
• “Public service announcement: can it?” (3-D printed food)
• “Arming up for Floodageddon” (3-D printed houses)