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June 1, 2018 / philosophermouseofthehedge

A measured reading

End the cultural appropriations. Use your own kind for clichés. Leave my people out of it.

The paper kicked aside.

(Staff knew to tread lightly, but clarification required. What is not said is often vital.)

Queen Victoria. the elegant monarch sitting in a chair with a fan. (USPD, pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org

Why did Staff select this picture? While We admire and respect elegant wise Queen Victoria, and there are many similarities between us, the age difference…Here. This one previously used is much better. Dunderhead. (Whispered, but Staff heard that)

Crowned queen.1920 Geraldine Farrar. Leopard-Emile Reutlinger/US PD:pub.date/ exp.cr/Commons.wikimedia.org

Perception is all. (PD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Staff (with great delicacy): What’s the ludicrous problem this time?  upsetting you so? Wait? What’s this? Planning a rogue trip?” (pointing at Texas map under The Facilities.)

RC Cat of the Realm: (Sighing at the stupidity)” A little reading material to wait for things to pass. Learning is a life long habit.

It is time of the Unboxing of Children and so many plan summer trips.

Why, We wonder, would anyone go visit the old London when the new one is so close? New is always better than old. Ask any iPhone owner. And see (Paw emphatically pounding map.) easy to add a side trip to Paris, too. People always talk like Paris is so far away. Strange.”

Staff (again with delicacy):  “Afraid to inquire, but it appears to be a little damp over here on the map outside The Facilities…Is there something you wish to tell us?”

RC Cat of the Realm: (A glare leveled.) “Staff must keep up with things. They say the Panhandle is in drought.”

Staff: (Worried now) “And this slight puddle?”

Paper map of Texas under cat litter box - Oh it's clean, don't worry. ( Image Copyrighted, NO permissions granted, All rights reserved.)

Wouldn’t intentionally mess with Texas, but accidents happen….(© Image)

RC Cat of the Realm: So insensitive to needs of others! (Muttering of “Memo to self: mandate re-education sessions…”) 

The farmers in the Texas Panhandle need assistance. We have squat to do for the moment and decided to help them like in that blogger‘s book – by performing vous do –  like some poke pins into dolls to make something happen. We are a first adopter techie with cloud sourcing: drop it cumulus congestus.”

Staff (looking around for sharp objects): “Uh, a version of cloud sourcing, I guess. But not sure voodoo works that way. You do know that Carrie’s book The Bone Curse is about a doctor encountering Haitian Vodou – a sort of a medical thriller and not, well, rain making?”

RC Cat: “Vous do as vous wish. People can doctor it up all the want. Just leave the Animal Kingdom out of it. “

dog sniffing book. (© Image ALL rights reserved, copyrighted, NO permissions granted)

Did someone mention bones?(© Image)

Staff (blinking as if experiencing whiplash) “What?”

RC Cat: Obviously dim wattage. (Sigh. Good Staff is so hard to find) Felines, gorillas, and all the rest of the animals demand an end to cultural appropriation.

End to humans smirkingly, incorrectly using and not paying royalties on such as the following:

  • Cat got your tongue (Like any feline would want it. Have you seen what humans eat? Phew.)
  • Fat cats (We are just fluffy. Rude.)
  • Grinning like a Cheshire cat (Any photos taken during catnip sessions are totally unauthorized and Our lawyers will be contacting perpetrators.)
  • Curiosity killed the cat (Why isn’t she in jail? Double standard – ask any dog or cat who ripped for good reason.)
  • Let the cat out of the bag (Animal control on speed dial for reporting such bagging abuse.)
  • Cat’s pajamas (Look, We already have coats, thank you.)

While imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, We know things quickly become ugly with confusion. We wish no part of that.

Please eschew the cat’s meow and find your own voice for comparisons and idiotisms.

And now a demonstration of what real pussyfooting is: precise, determined, and marching with direct purpose …not the silly human interpretation and usage. Observe closely and learn. (With great majesty and sense of self, RC Cat stomps out of the room. Swishy, but certainly not wishy-washy.)

Staff: “Oh, wait. She left a proclamation note. Let me unroll it.

Oh, about tributes. Yes, they’re expected. To be placed upon exiting by the door.

FYI, HRH has joined the modern age and installed motion sensitive security cams, so like Santa Claus she can see you when you are sneaking; she knows when you try to wait; she know if you’ve been bad and not left tribute, so turn around and be good before it’s too late…There are drones at the ready…or caterwauling droning worse than waterboarding..not sure, but not willing to risk either.

Oh rats. Slipped into a catastrophe and accidentally uttered exactly what was warned against.

Here. I have a couple of throw down cans of salmon….Toss and run!”

crown symbol with message "I am RC Cat and I approve this message"

I am RC Cat and I approve this message.

 

 

 

 

 

Cat and mouse with book (© image. NO permissions granted , copyrighted, ALL rights reserved)

This one will keep you up at night and you won’t be able to turn the pages fast enough. Highly recommended reading for long summer days or, if you dare, dark Halloween nights!(© image)

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13 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. shoreacres / Jun 1 2018 6:47 am

    I didn’t know about the school explosion, or I’d forgotten. The big event today in Mena, Arkansas, is the Lum and Abner festival. The pair actually was from this town. We’re not lingering — it’s time to get home, back to work, and bvack into a routine. Sometimes, routine is good!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 1 2018 4:11 pm

      RC Cat: “Things are buzzing near Paris: http://www.kltv.com/story/38298417/semi-trailer-hauling-load-of-bees-overturns-on-texas-highway
      Get ready to roll up the car windows and turn up the AC!
      Each place has history to discover – and it has to be retold each generation or get lost. That’s one reason We and wary of a national school curriculum for boxed children. – it leaves little room for studying the state one resides – and that’s important to give a sense of self, history and how pieces fit together…and humans certainly need to piece things together. Drive on and bee safe! Paw waves for the highway!”

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Kate Crimmins / Jun 1 2018 6:47 am

    As I drove this morning, I passed a school bus and thought the unboxing ceremonies must be soon. There is something pleasant about no buses in my way in the morning. They want you to stop for pick up and delivery and those little critters lollygag (not a cat term) along the way. Wonder if they thought about using UPS or FEDEX.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 5 2018 6:50 am

      RC Cat:” Brilliant suggestion. Everyone is outsourcing now..purrhaps they could outsource some outta the area? We shall explore that. A soft cheek pat for your cleverness! Toodles.”

      Like

  3. ShimonZ / Jun 1 2018 6:52 am

    Yes, learning is a life long habit, just like waiting for things to pass. Thoroughly enjoyed the read till I got to the pussyfooting, and then got carried away by recollections.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 5 2018 6:59 am

      RC Cat: “Even kittens know that to sit still and explore nothing results in fat bodies and fat heads. Reflecting re-sorts and re-files that which can be useful…the original mental clean up – probably where computers learned that trick. A paw wave for your companionship in WP’s thoughtful library. There. You saw Our paw wave. It was elegant. Whew stood on tippytoe so you could receive it properly.”

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Carrie Rubin / Jun 1 2018 8:02 am

    So nice to see my book mentioned. Thank you so much! And to have it receive feline attention is a purrrrfect bonus. RC cat will be happy to know the Animal Kingdom has been left out of it. Oh wait, there might be a mention of a goat or two…

    Thank you! Nice treat for my Friday. Happy weekend to you!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 5 2018 7:04 am

      RC Cat ” Nothing is better than a book with chills during the summer. We hope to prod staff into a proper book look. And, no pressure, but We are quite anxious for the next episode…you felt that…that poke? Expect more…We are anxious as We said…there. A preemptive poke. Along with an encouraging, motivating shoulder pat….a shoulder pat as We do not wish to distract you from plotting with your computer…Cheerio!”

      Like

  5. Roxie / Jun 6 2018 8:11 am

    Knitted beautifully, like a yarn rug begging for biscuit making. Oh how many verbal cat-agorical cat-astophes we weave in their eyes! Love this piece, crown jewel!

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 6 2018 10:01 am

      RC Cat: “We are so thrilled you are enlightened. Must have had a cat mentor or cat trained child somewhere in your past. A perky paw salute to you!”

      Liked by 1 person

  6. cat9984 / Jun 6 2018 3:25 pm

    Good job, RC. It’s always nice to see a cat trying to educate their human, Purrs, Snoops and Kommando Kitty

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 7 2018 4:41 pm

      RC Cat: “One must do what One can to elevate the lesser species. A grand paw salute elegantly sent your way in thanks for your visit”

      Liked by 1 person

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