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January 22, 2018 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Controversy of home languages

Woman and man dressed in "old country" ethnic costume. 1913 theatrical postcard. 1913. Guttenberg photo (USPD., artist life/

“Speak as you will, but one photo, then these outfits are going to be stuffed in the trunk.”(USPD/

Dad was raised with it.

Maybe because it was an old country thing.

Mom, on the other hand, forbid it in our house.

Perhaps the result of generations migrating to the big city. Determined to get fur away.

I don’t speak cat

Despite years of attempted tutoring by native speakers.

My attempts: clumps of mishandling and littering efforts.

Who knew which annoyed announcement explained that the thousands – it seemed like thousands – of grey puddles plopped everywhere – especially in the most difficult surfaces to clean – were clearly retaliation  in response to:

“Foolish Staff left the box of Cheesenips in an easily accessible spot on the coffee table and, being accepting of diverse tribute attempts, We, the RC Cat of the Realm, carefully snaked out  and sneaked out one orange pillow treat and rushed quickly to avoid detection returned to Our secret spot where We thought no one would find Us lounge and reveled in the forbidden leisurely nibbled the offering. It is Staff’s fault! Severe tummy rebellion to emphasize Staff must be more attentive….and stock less poison more special delicacies to amuse Us. And what to you so long to find the evidence? So predictable. Borderline incompetence and laziness. But what can One expect from humans.”

RC Cat examining coiled up Christmas lights on wood floor. (Image: all rights reserved, NO permissions granted, Copyrighted)

“Outrageous. The Christmas lights finally taken down and packed away. No one is fooled that these remained to warm palm feet in frigid weather. Festive? Nonsense. Not even the right color for Mardi Gras. Dunderheads! The Realm has a reputation to protect! (Image:©)

Who could possible understand that stoic pose by the litter box Facility of the Grains of Necessity and Convenience was body language for:

“We were forced to use the alternative cardboard sticking out under the Facilities as the regular material is disgusting. Staff ‘freshening’ does not fool Us. “

(This accompanied by loud, insistent feline instructional mutterings as RC Cat unsheathes one long elegant nail, stretches out a paw just like a ballerina opening on stage, and delicately – cautiously – firmly – points to a tiny spot…)

“There. Right there. It’s obvious. The third absorbent grain to the left and two inches down below the surface. Staff must had nasal congestion not to smell it. Now that We have brought this issue to your attention, We leave you to your work. Without even demanding an apology or thanks that We considerately did not use the bath mat. You are welcome.”

Mother said cats belonged in barns.

Sometimes she was right.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

Vintage horsewoman in traditional Mexican vaquero skirts on rearing horse. postcard. 1930-45. TIchnor Bros collection, Boston Lib. (USPD., artist life,)

Younger model rearing to start toddler herding.(USPD/

Production note: The exhausting rewarding months of assisting The German with toddler herding hopefully are over with that Realm’s Staff’s broken arm healed and a new Toddler Vaquero hired there.

RC seems to have spent the entire time writing a long To Do List. The recent hard freezes have meant more time needing to be spent preparing house and landscape. (Denver, Colorado has been warmer that this location many times this winter. La Nina weather pattern winters which are so cold and extremely wet happen periodically. Not Chamber of Commerce weather.) Molly Malamute is being the “good child” and huddling close. She visibly droops if suitcases come out, clothes are stacks within her sight, or if I get in the car. Sled dogs have strong pack instincts. She’s ready and willing to assist with landscape rehabilitation….already dug a few practice holes to demonstrate.

I want to thank all for their patience over the past few months. I’ll slowly be responding to comment, and getting back up to speed with reading and posting.

Thanks again. 

Molly helping by carrying stick. (Image: © NO permissions granted, copyrighted, all rights reserved)

“See? The good child” (Image: ©)







  1. easyweimaraner / Jan 22 2018 11:43 am

    my granny said the same, never inside. I begged her for having my beloved cat in the house till she gave in… and after the first night my granny found the cat on the table with the paws in the butterbox ;O)))

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Kate Crimmins / Jan 22 2018 11:48 am

    Oh dear. I get it. When Hazel had diarrhea (for what seemed like 87 days!) I was expected to clean the boxes (all of the them!) at least twice a day as no one (including human staff) could expect to get near a litter box without a gas mask. Fortunately all is well although there are discussions about cleaning with bleach (or maybe just moving to a new house). Tomorrow may be warm enough to do outdoors. Maybe.


  3. Anne Mehrling / Jan 22 2018 11:51 am

    Oh, my! There were never animals in the house when I was growing up. I gave in when John wanted a cat and accepted more when each child dragged one home. We share our house only with humans, lady beetles, and stink bugs now. Determined to get fur away? Instead of making a bee line, that might be making a feline.


  4. Carrie Rubin / Jan 22 2018 12:30 pm

    Uh oh, sounds like there’s some feline discontent in the household!


  5. LordBeariOfBow / Jan 22 2018 3:39 pm

    Mum (mom ) might be right. I assume that you = Staff???

    Methinks Cat is completely unintelligible, now speaking dog is completely understandable, only have to ask my Coco, he has me perfectly trained, I know what each woof or woof wooff grrr means and I jump to obey his wants and needs.

    And that’s the way it’s supposed to be, or so Coco tells me 🙂 woof!


  6. Curt Mekemson / Jan 22 2018 5:38 pm

    My dad was adamant about no pets in the house, a law that was gradually warn away over time and completely abandoned when, later in life, he became owned by a Cocker Spaniel. –Curt


  7. shoreacres / Jan 22 2018 7:08 pm

    OK. Now that I’ve taken a moment to tend to a certain box…

    Glad to hear that everything is settling down a bit for you. I hear we’re going to be granted the 50s and 60s for the rest of January. Since Valentine’s Day is the traditional rose trimming day — well, you can see where this is going. Spring is coming, with its nice, fresh breezes, open windows, and lower utility bills. I just opened up the latest from First Choice power and nearly had a heart attack. I expected it to be a little higher, but I guess I should have put some long underwear over my long underwear — even in the house!


  8. Under the Oaks / Jan 22 2018 11:33 pm

    I brought home the cats, dogs, turtles, and even a horse. All at first were not allowed in the house. Then some way they all found their way in… except for the horse, of course. The Christmas lights cracked me up.


  9. Ally Bean / Jan 23 2018 6:58 am

    I speak cat. It’s something that comes naturally to me, but just because I understand their language does not mean that I approve of all of their disapproval.

    A new Toddler Vaquero hired? Does this mean that you’ll be prowling around the blogosphere more, adding wisdom and whimsy to those of who enjoy it so much?


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 25 2018 3:33 pm

      Over the past few year, RC apparently grew frustrated with my cat language acquisition and she started speaking human…it’s just her accent is a bit heavy. The temptation of human snack is sometimes too much for her and she sneaks them – then her tummy goes into total revolt. Senior staff is simply not vigilant about it..and is easily fooled into giving her “just one! it was only one!”…and the others she stashed away when he wasn’t looking. Of course HRH blames him for her troubles.
      Hopefully the new Toddler Vaquero will continue as long as needed. Stairs.heavy toddler newly discovering what feet and legs are for. Not exactly the exercise program I had planned. Wrangling words is much more ideal. Thanks for the kind words and for sitting down to chat

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Littlesundog / Jan 23 2018 7:43 am

    How timely is this? I have recently been involved in a “bio cleanup” and learned a lot about removing odors. Hydrogen Peroxide 17% or higher, is quite effective and safe to use (just wear gloves or your fingers turn white. No worries, it isn’t permanent. And don’t get on clothes as it will discolor) and preferred over bleach (which is toxic). Also, a product that hospitals and bio cleaning services use for disinfecting (and odor) is Sporicidan. Both can be acquired from Amazon.

    Is the toddler vaquero part-time? I can hardly wait to hear about this new adventure! Yee-HAW!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 25 2018 3:18 pm

      Hydrogen peroxide/vinegar/baking soda are old and worthy cleaners! Many of the new cleaners make me sneeze so badly I avoid them. Sun and fresh air can do a lot for many things. Thanks for the heads up on another option!
      Toddler herding is so much work – I got an SOS from The German and her realm and was helping full time during the week there since Oct. Whew. Fun but quite ready to hand that off to a younger toddler wrangler…and now to get past RC’s complains about being abandoned and get this house/yard/livestock back in shape.
      Thanks for adding some giggles here

      Liked by 1 person

  11. PiedType / Jan 23 2018 8:11 pm

    We of Greater Denver have not been happy with the weather this winter, until two days ago, when we got about 6″ of snow. Dry 60 dgree weather doesn’t do any of us any good and we’d be more than happy to trade with you …


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 25 2018 3:06 pm

      Vail’s ski report said last week they only had 23 inches of snow? Mild sunny mountain weather might be comfortable, but brings up worries for a less than full blooming spring and dangerously dry summer. Another arctic front due late next week, maybe moisture then…please, freeze it there. We’re soggy enough. (Once again if we can move oil/gas/chemical products across the country, water should be easy too pipe in.)Hope things are going well – slowly catching up with blogs. Thanks for pawsing here


  12. aFrankAngle / Jan 24 2018 2:17 pm

    RC writes and blogs, so Molly brings her a stick.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 25 2018 2:58 pm

      Originally the post started with Molly’s pix and the tag line “Find your shtick and go with it…”
      Thanks for piling in with a comment


  13. RKLikesReeses / Jan 27 2018 12:23 pm

    ((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) Our little kingdom is glad you’re OK. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 27 2018 12:38 pm

      And we are so encouraged your ailing princess is improving. Never count out a cat – they have their own plans and methods of healing.
      RC is quite normal again – once Staff returned to enforce her diet and prevent any unauthorized snacking!!!! Paw waves in hope!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. cat9984 / Feb 12 2018 12:08 pm

    One time when we had Ritz crackers with soup, Kommando Kitty decided to try one. She liked it – really liked it. Now she will dig the wrappers out of the trash to get out the crumbs.She hasn’t gotten sick, so I guess it’s OK (except the digging in the trash part).

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Feb 12 2018 1:21 pm

      RC cat has mastered the Art of the Threat: if we are slow in responding to food bowl requests, she stomps over to the dog food bowl of dry food, and scolds loudly “Look what your dalliance is forcing me to do. You shall pay dearly for your tardiness” and picks up a chunk. “Noooooo! I’m getting it. I’m getting your snackie. Please stop.”
      Kommando Kitty has the strategy down, too.
      Thanks for serving up a comment

      Liked by 1 person

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