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October 21, 2016 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Last straw: save the children

Mislead. Now tied into a life of pole dancing.


As if the impending Vegetable Invasion isn’t rotten enough, stuffing children into the middle of it all.

How will they ever break loose?

May Allison dressed as belly dancer."Almost married". Moving Picture World (May 1919) Metro Pictures(

She is far too friendly with plants. Must be the one luring children into lives as a wandering performers in the service of the dreaded Orange Veggie Invaders. (USPD/

Such a serious issue, a proclamation must be made to the Realm.

You. With the big feet. Walk with me. You shall be allowed to kick dog hair tumbleweeds out of Our path. Halt. We shall address Our citizens from this platform

Just brush that one fuzzy clump to the side. No, it did not just fall out of Our ruff.

Step back in order not to obstruct Our subjects’ view. Back farther. One more step. Oh, We did not see the platform edge there. Just stay down and rest. 

Residents of the Realm: It pains Us to have to deliver such disturbing news. Innocent Children are being misused!

Molly Malamute has noticed during her scouting trips looking for dangerous vegetables, that once again unaccompanied, homeless children are in the area.

Still smiling through their tears, they manage in tattered clothing – which is oddly no worse the wear from sightings last year. Peculiar.

But We are horrified that these poor little ones naively have become pole dancers!

Even straw polls reveal few think this is a suitable activity.

Halloween scarecrow tied to tree - with pumpkins. ALL rights reserved. NO permissions granted. Copyrighted

Look at that. A sweet smile. Clothes neatly pressed. Bravely standing straight and tall waiting for the show to begin.©

Even worse, it appears that the dastardly Orange Veggies are attempting to sneak in under foot. – apparently in the guise as stage props for performances. 

We do not know if these poor children are smiling because they don’t have a brain, are afraid of those who brought them here, or are like the unpopular child who do anything to fit in to the popular scene.

This cruel act cannot be allowed to stand!

It is raining and, yet, they smile on.

family. Man and woman holding child (1920-"The cheater".Exhibitors Herald April-june.1920) Screen Classics/Metro Pictures (USPD

Ah, We remember being a very young kitten and choosing Our Realm. There is no truth to the rumor that We had to be plucked out of a tree.(USPD/commons)

Some of Us remember Our own “Days of Stray” – to be without a home or a memory foam bed to lay Our head. 

We fortunate ones of The Realm must find a way to help these children.

The Molly has been instructed to try and befriend these unfortunates.

Perhaps she can grab them and usher them out of such a dark existence among those who will eventually reveal themselves to be rotten.

Boy Halloween scarecrow propped against a tree. ALL rights reserved. Copyrighted. NO permissions granted

Such a cute one. No doubt his parents fretted “How are we going to keep him down on the farm?” Surely they did not have to sell him to survive. Better to sell the turkey than the straw off the old block.©

Any suggestions for rescuing and re-homing these children shall be welcomed.

We can only hope they are chipped so scanners can locate their parents who must be searching the fields for them.

In closing, We wish to remind residents that Holler-Ring is almost here.

Any sudden appearances of Orange Vegetable Invaders should be reported immediately.

Do not attempt to approach them – even if their eyes or smiles glow with warmth!

RC Cat on desk peering out window looking for signs of Orange Vegetable Invaders.NO permissions granted. ALL rights reserved. Copyrighted

“If any Orange Veggie dares  to enter this window, We shall stab them with Our scissors hidden by these papers. Ironic, no? Orange scissors for Orange Invaders. Yes, yes. How apropos.”©

Carry on!

As in “Carry on the tributes of can food to the table on your way out.”

I am RC Cat and I approve this message






Related posts:

 “RC notices children fleeing Chick-among-us” (Sept. 2014)

“Imminent threats. Cautionary Tales” (Oct. 2015)








  1. easyweimaraner / Oct 21 2016 6:45 am

    Easy had sadly no mercy with this poor kids… he peed on the one who sits in our entrance :o(((

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 24 2016 9:50 am

      RC Cat: “Easy knows. If you stick around with Orange Veggies, you get end up getting molded and mushy. We applaud Easy’s good judgement of these dangerous ones who lure creatures into the veggie life! A cautious head pat for such a fine action.”


  2. Kate Crimmins / Oct 21 2016 8:06 am

    Is that an orange patch on your neck! I knew it! It’s contagious! You must have been near some of the those orange veggies and they marked you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 24 2016 9:46 am

      RC Cat: “In self defense both The Molly and Ourselves are discarding great quantities of hair just in case. What you suggest is always a concern. The Molly has suggested camouflage for recon missions…only Staff, while impressed with the idea, refuses to allow the regent out of the Realm. Something about tall trees. We must trust The Molly’s scouting. A quick ankle pass for your astute observation!”


  3. RKLikesReeses / Oct 21 2016 1:27 pm

    Thank you, RC Cat, for sharing this! Perfect timing: we haven’t seen any sign of the Orange Veggie Invaders or those tragic children yet. But they’re on their way and now, thanks to You, we’re ready!
    The Princesses send Their warmest greetings from large patches of brilliant afternoon sunshine. Catnip was consumed; eyes grew heavy.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 24 2016 9:41 am

      RC Cat: “We are so please the princess are practicing manuevers of appearing to be sleeping lazily in the sun. All the better to leap up and confront approaching vegetables. Be wary, little Princesses! So proud of you.”

      Liked by 1 person

  4. marthaschaefer / Oct 21 2016 6:00 pm

    Emerging from my lurk to say ‘you made my day!” Phil. Brilliant foliage in our realm, Alice sends her regards.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 24 2016 9:39 am

      RC Cat: “Oh, my. Brilliant foliage? Please be wary around plants that are far too smart for their roots. We are relieved Alice is there to protect you from falling into trouble. A concerned paw wave to you – and a salute to Alice.”

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Vanessa-Jane Chapman / Oct 22 2016 3:39 am

    Pole dancing and pumpkins in the same post. I never saw it coming. Love that first picture of the scantily clad lady with the basket of flowers!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 24 2016 9:37 am

      RC Cat: “As RC of the Realm timely public announcements are part of Our duties. We are pleased you welcomed the information. A soft cheek pat for your kindness.”


  6. paintdigi / Oct 22 2016 3:37 pm

    Good posts, beautiful blog.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 24 2016 9:35 am

      RC Cat: “We graciously accept your kind words…and hope you left sufficient cans of canned food, preferably salmon, in tribute. If so, We shall direct staff your direction when Realm renovation – or there are holes in the wall gnawed by the dog that require something. Why is that foolish dog nibbling the house. We have given strict instructions to only bite the dastardly Orange Vegetable Invaders if they dare come close. An refresher training may be in order. A paw wave of thanks is being waft in your direction. See it? Stand on your toes. Yes, yes. There it is. We know you are excited to be so honored.”


  7. philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 24 2016 10:02 am

    RC Cat: “We are aware that newcomers have a bit of culture shock upon entering Our Realm. Sigh. Do not get discouraged. All will become more comfortable as you get up to speed. Yes, yes. Speed up. We jog quickly here…oh, OK, We shall allow you to stand near the catnip until you feel more at ease…No, We did not give permission to get anywhere near Our mousie collection. You ask too much. Sit and breath deeply. All will be revealed – or atleast you’ll have a fine nap.”


  8. Littlesundog / Oct 25 2016 1:52 pm

    I wonder if these pole dancing vegetable invaders tangle with coyotes? What does Molly think of this? Such a problem we have with coyotes here now and I don’t care if I have to employ these pole dancing orange invaders to run them off! Of course… I have to consider the deer too. I doubt any studies have been conducted on this. I might have to be the first to delve in and analyze what the outcome might be. What are your thoughts?


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 25 2016 4:05 pm

      RC Cat: You might have some success if you could get the poor children to stand silently as they have been taught, then use their sticks to poke the coyote. Orange vegetable intruders are such mush heads, We doubt they can roll enough to get out of their own mess, much less chase off critters. Purrhaps the deer would be empowered by Holler-ring costumes…giant werewolves? You might need to keep the deer at some distance from the children as the seem to be stuffing leaves in their pockets and clothing for warmth…a deer might mistake that for tasty treats. Such a delightful research idea. We should apply for a developing nations grant? Yes, yes. A fine paw wave for your idea!


  9. Kourtney Heintz / Oct 27 2016 6:36 pm

    Pumpkins have been popping up all over CT. We love our autumn and our Halloween season. 😉


  10. sportsattitudes / Nov 2 2016 9:47 am

    RC Cat, I want you to know I have been away from the Realm for awhile but have returned in earnest presenting a bounty of canned food for your consumption. If it please thee do let your Owner know of my return…and I trust she will manage the canned tribute inventory accordingly. We had a great Halloween here – nice crisp weather, lots of trick-or-treaters and everyone enjoying themselves. Hope yours was a happy one as well!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 2 2016 2:38 pm

      RC Cat. “Oh, so cheery to hear from you again. Holler-Ring was a loud jingle of a time. More than one Power Ranger whispered to staff they weren’t wearing their mask as it was too darn hot.Staff managed to hide back a few Heath bars and is still sugar zombied out from those. So We are purrfectly thrilled with your lovely presentation. A quick paw wave in gratitude as We are in something of a hurry to shove these cans in front of Staff’s face in an attemtp to as a reminder of duties. A royal nod to you also!”

      Liked by 1 person

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