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June 17, 2016 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Heavy weighs and ways

weird looking girl sitting in a basket.(1920. lobby card for "Suds". Pickford:/ United Artists/ USPD: pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

The way life washes out can make anyone a basket case.(USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Food for thought can be a pretty fine mush. Pureed emotions.

Curious, squirming, then the nervous laugh. Typical of progress

But a new concept is designed to interrupt the progress: Digest that? No, don’t.

That’s right. Eat all you want, then walk into the bathroom, and pump it out your port hole into the toilet.

Those with boats or RVs with holding tanks can easily identify.

Can’t help saying it. (You know you are thinking it – that’s just as bad according to Granny.)

All those bulimics are bound to be livid. All those years of gagging, vomiting causing damage to  teeth and esophagus (among other things) could have been avoided?

Oh, Dunderhead. “There is no such thing as medical bulimia or assisted bulimia,” Dr. Sullivan told NBC News.

A bit more of a snort:

The Aspire device was developed by a group of inventors used to getting things moving. They are mostly known for inventing the Segway.

(Humourous, yes? Be kind. I am so easily amused.)

Oh, OK nobody likes to be laughed at.

SNL Church Lady. (Screen shot. nbc.com.saturday-night-live/video)

Go ahead. Laugh. Saaaatan will know. (Screenshot. nbc.com.saturday-night-live/video)

Like with Special Ed’s Beer and Brewery.

Apparently, despite the name being a long used nickname by a wife to poke fun at her husband, an angry mob has their drawers in a knot over it. Even the ones who live no where close.

It’s craft beer and place for sort of grown-ups to swill drink and at times become stupid. (Although using “tard tested” is a bit much. Thought that was passé even for the “Leave it to Beaver” era.)

Now Bubba has to rename the place, make new t-shirts, create a new Facebook page, and hope that the hate mail stops.

So to quote the lovely SNL Church Lady, “Isn’t that SPECIAL?”

Hope SNL doesn’t have to write her off. She’s so quick to judge. Enid Strict is special like that. (And everyone laughs about it…so far.)

Pilgrim man and woman walking.. Courtship of Miles Standish and other poems, 1910. Longfellow/LOC/Fickr/USPD: Pub.date, artist life/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Thou shall be righteously grim. And happy about it, you pill. (1910.USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

There’s a danger in losing a sense of humor.

I think some who did were once called Pilgrims or Puritans or something.

Seen any of those around recently? Extinct.

Makes people constantly waiting to be offended and angry all the time.

Have you ever wished for some special help to avoid angering people you are only trying to help?

With diversity and so much immigration, sooner or later you will be confronted with a long series of names and wondering which to use to be polite.

It’s not always in the familiar pattern: first name (what you are called) , middle name (alternative identifier), and last name (family name).

woman with children.1920 lobbycard "Toonerville Trolley" (First.Nat.Pict/USPD.pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

“Now you tell the teacher your name proper – the name the nice man at Ellis Island wrote down when we got here.” (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

The Institute of Education Sciences is offering a reference guide to ease the conversations with families and students of non-English names.

Schools want to be polite in welcoming people and they have all those mandatory forms with specific blanks to fill out. (Data collection is a blessing and a curse)

The booklet “Getting it right” is a solid resource for anyone in business, retail, or neighborhood including polite language to correctly address those speak Cantonese, Punjabi, Russian, Somali, Spanish, Tagalog, Ukrainian, and Vietnamese. The illustrations make it all so easy.

People do get tired of “Hey, you.” Tend to get surly about it after a while.

Weigh in and give it a glance. Besides it’s cool.

Enough with the name calling.

Waaay too serious and heavy

Smile. Guaranteed to not weigh you down.

Light delight.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

To grin or not to grin? If you have to wonder what madness is this, there’s always: 

“Doomsday coming? Full moon before summer solstice could spark madness” 

three women.1922. lobby card "Any Wife"/USPD.pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

“Oh, Dunderhead. I get the Bonana fanna fo, but forget where the Fee fy mo goes. That Shirley Ellis makes things so complicated.” (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

 

 

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18 Comments

  1. easyweimaraner / Jun 17 2016 6:37 am

    that pump sounds painful to me… I ate a toy-squirrel once ( foam material with a smell like strawberries) and they brought it back via stomach pumping… I cried like crazy, because I felt bad and because we couldn’t repair my beloved squirrel :O)

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 17 2016 7:45 am

      Oh, Easy I bet your mom was worried like crazy about that squirrel intake – sqeakers are especially dangerous – Molly finds the sqeaker device and will work like a mining engineer to get it out – so we have to cut and remove before she gets the toy…which takes some of the fun out. She knows. Always looks at us accusingly. But protect the pups!
      Have a great weekend Easy – we’ll be inside with extreme heat warnings

      Like

      • easyweimaraner / Jun 17 2016 7:54 am

        it was my mom who ate that squirrel toy… it was such a typical 70’s trash hot pink and with a scent :o)

        Like

  2. heylookawriterfellow / Jun 17 2016 7:04 am

    Just a quick thought on the stomach pump: Eeeew!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Kate Crimmins / Jun 17 2016 7:06 am

    No one has a sense of humor these days! I worked in human resources. In the privacy of my office I would lament that people did not name their kids Bob or Linda anymore. There was one name I would practice in front of a mirror to get it right and then when I saw her, it came out wrong anyway. Perhaps with that book….. Beer drinkers are never politically correct. Hard to believe anyone would expect that. Bottoms up!

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 17 2016 8:04 am

      Computers do not care about humans lack of ability to understand names: get those name components in the right box or else – we have data to collect. One poor principal at a high school graduation had obviously practiced and practiced and did so well – he must have been relieved and let down his guard. Totally mispronounced with the accent on the wrong syllable of a kid he actually knew as she worked as an office runner. Gads. Such a challenge.
      It’s beer. For adults. Silly names on craft beer everywhere. Really people? Have to wonder about those who search the internet long and hard for reasons to be offended, to wave righteous fingers in front of people’s noses and then tell everyone else they should join the cyber bullying. Who are they really doing that for?
      Laughter protects/defends as well as having other benefits. Good for the immune system so people should take that as a reason to laugh more?
      Thanks for sitting down and leaving a giggling comment

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Paul / Jun 17 2016 9:14 am

    The last time I was hiring drivers, I put an ad on an electronic job search site. This can be read by anyone in the world – but most folks only apply for jobs in their own countries unless the ad specifically asks otherwise.Anyway I got a response from a young man in India. He didn’t have the experience or the citizenship we needed so I did reply as such. As a joke I sent my boss a note saying we had gotten a response from India and I included the young man’s name,which was the whole length of the page.I copied and pasted so i was sure I spelled it right and she replied,also copying and pasting, The she thanked me by name and spelled it “Pul”. Ha! I pointed it out to her that she spelled my 4 letter name wrong and got the 30 letter Indian name right. Ha!

    Like

  5. Chez Shea / Jun 17 2016 11:12 am

    Love the scope of this post. Has me smiling!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. heretherebespiders / Jun 17 2016 1:17 pm

    Yeah, tard tested is a bit much! But Special Ed – if his name is Ed – seems fine to me! It’s a pun. Can’t help but love a pun!
    Hey, I wonder if my name will end up in that guide? You’ve seen the way it is spelled! Whenever I’m waiting for my name to be called at the doctor’s, etc, I just look for the person struggling and say ‘that’s probably me you are looking for!’ Ah, the joys. And I’m not even Punjabi!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 19 2016 9:40 am

      It’s funny. People have to go back to having a sense of humor and looking at the intent (and audience) of things. Regional differences/ local expressions play a big role now, too. So all you people cruising around the internet looking for people to point fingers at and shame..get a productive hobby. There’s always lots to be done around any neighborhood. Healthier is so many ways.
      Tax-payer funded guide. With all long series of names, educators and companies are scrambling to know which name goes in what slot….and that’s just the normal uncreative names people come up with! Had to laugh at your waiting room experiences – must be humorous at time. Nice for you to not let them stammer and suffer. Cheers and thanks for stopping by to chat

      Like

  7. robincoyle / Jun 18 2016 12:38 pm

    Or as Conan O’Brien said, “Or you could just try a salad some time.”

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 19 2016 9:44 am

      Crunch time! A bariatric surgeon has told me tales of morbidly obese patients that had their jaws wired shut in an attempt to loose weight, but they drank so many of their shakes, liquid foods (juicers are such wonders) that no weight was lost at all. Difficult situation. Sad. Thanks for stopping by to serve up a comment

      Liked by 1 person

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