Skip to content
June 8, 2016 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Not Cows. And not acceptable.

(Copyrighted image) Catnip plant in window (All rights reserved) (NO permissions granted)

Green green is green they say, but a good vintage of nip is brown. Everyone knows that. Everyone©

She’d be upset if we compared her to a child. But it’s like that.

You know the old joke about city kids thinking milk comes from the store, not cows.

We have the only cat that thinks catnip comes from the Pet Store.

You try to give them the best – widen their experiences as they are isolated from nature – but no.

Total snub.

If it ain’t in a plastic package that rustles and rattles when opened, it ain’t catnip.

Not touching that.

Might as well remove it from HRH line of sight and swipe.

Doesn’t matter it grows like crazy under these conditions unlike the Splendor of Cat Grass that’s royally demanded, craved, and cuddled, but rapidly turns brown, falls over, and dies.

Producing such glares by RC cat of the Realm plainly meaning, “Staff, We can’t trust you to you do the simplest thing?”

Apparently not.

(and that mouse-thing: also a reject. For obvious reasons….which we are still trying to understand.)

Good staff is so hard to find (otherwise we’d be escorted to the door)

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

(NO permissions granted) cat looking up in disbelief. All rights reserved. copyrighted

“You see what We must put up with? It’s in a package. At the store. And THIS is what they return with and expect Us to be pleased? Really? Do not mention cows. We do not approve of milking situations to avoid disgrace. And why, you ask, have We requested a fresh premium batch of nip? You shall see. We are preparing a warning proclaimation for the Realm to be delivered shortly….apparently faster than the nip.”©



  1. heylookawriterfellow / Jun 8 2016 7:09 am

    Just further evidence that cats are terrible, horrible, no good pets. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 8 2016 7:26 am

      They find you. The trick is not open the door when they show up saying they are home ( but will let you stay, too, as long as you are useful and it pleases them
      Thanks for tossing a comment at the kitty


  2. heylookawriterfellow / Jun 8 2016 7:10 am

    A guinea pig would never thumb his widdle, twitching nose at similar, piggy-appropriate, thoughtful gesture.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 8 2016 7:24 am

      Now that’s what we thought, too – until the 6th grade science room long haired guinea pig sought refuge at our house after a long enough tour of duty. Maybe it was the long hair, but that one was such a diva and demanded fresh hay, fresh greens, and was so fresh about squeaking constantly for attention…perhaps it was mentally unstable from her earlier residence? (Even the cat and large dog left the area when she took the stage with her long dissertations. Was a dear little thing, though, once she moved into the atrium with the Rex rabbit. Now the rabbit…there was a pet happy for fresh produce…like all the plants int he atrium so we had to gather grasses and flowers during dog walks for her…she guilt tripped us…and barked loudly. A watch rabbit. Must have made the gunea pig feel secure. They dug tunnels and burrowed ahppily together for years.
      Thanks for digging up a piggy comment to leave!


      • heylookawriterfellow / Jun 8 2016 7:34 am

        Well, piggies are pack animals, you know. They need the cuddles.


        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 8 2016 7:39 am

          Didn’t know that. It seems a pack of school kids was too much – all I knew is that poor thing needed rescue and a better quality of life.(Yes we are nuts.) Squeakers live faaaarrr longer than normal – must have been the roughing it outside, companionship and protection from hawks by super bunny. Squeakers was very sweet, but once returned to the wild atrium, she had no use for people…probably smart? HA HA

          Liked by 1 person

  3. RKLikesReeses / Jun 8 2016 7:37 am

    LMHO – cats. Fresh catnip! FABulous. We have it, too, and it’s spreading through the yard (as it does). Dried for the winter, fresh for the summer. Why they prefer the dried-for-winter stuff is beyond me but they do! Maybe bec it’s aged, like fine wine? Maybe the scent from freshly picked is too strong for such elegant noses?
    They also coming running for the store kind when it’s offered but I think that’s bec the foil bags make the same noise as cat treat bags. Once it’s out of the bag they don’t eat it. They ignore it. Tail-flicks, disdain.
    Wow. A proclamation on the way? ((((staffhugs))))

    Liked by 2 people

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 8 2016 7:44 am

      The lovely plant is being totally ignored and pointedly walked around. We’d plant it outside (maybe it won’t drown) but some cat roaming from somewhere might think it was their gift and drool on it…and RC would get livid at an intruder and beat up the window. Maybe we’ll try to harvest it. But, yes, which dried packaged catnip…there’s is a difference between brands and HRH noses it.
      Thanks for the helpful hints for staff ( who is not a cat person…and seems to be lagging behind in training…)

      Liked by 1 person

      • RKLikesReeses / Jun 8 2016 8:25 am

        Oh, yes, intruders. A blessing and a curse. The Princesses like to watch outside cats enjoy the catnip. Noblesse-Oblige? Haa!
        I’ll post a picture for you later.
        But Staff (me) has to thoroughly wash the harvest before it’s allowed in the house. Extra work, and always scrutinized.
        Drowning plants. Yowee. 😦 Didn’t think of that.Yes, the mints like well-drained soil. Wet feet? Not wonderful. Our parent-plant is in a BIG (BIG!!!) pot on the edge of the front patio in full sun. Lots of easy drainage for it, for those times when our soil is swampy. But the baby plants have spread out from underneath into even better-drained areas. They’re bigger and happier away from the pot.
        Oh! I’ve been authorized to add: Greetings from the 👑Princesses👑. They woke up briefly to hear about HRH and have nodded off again. 🙂


        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 10 2016 9:08 am

          Who knew you had to harvest and dry the stuff. I always read about cats outdoor rolling and tearing catnip plants to shreds. Of course RC is so dignified and has an image to keep. HRH is considering inviting the Princesses over to watch the new little birds learn to fly in the lantana plant in a giant pot outside her window. (At least staff is able to provide some entertainment on occassion). Paw waves!

          Liked by 1 person

          • RKLikesReeses / Jun 10 2016 9:38 am

            LOL! Baby birdeeeez for RC!!! Better than anything on TV. Good planning for that pot! Re the catnip: Pickles will IMMEDIATELY eat fresh leaves when I bring them in. Whoosh! Gone! But she doesn’t rub on the actual leaves until they’re dried. Mila waits about 4 hours to [daintily] chew on fresh leaves, assuming Pickles leaves enough behind to notice. Both girls go quietly nuts afterwards. The dried leaves get so crispy that they’re easy to turn into catnip powder, which they both enjoy lounging in. One thing I do with fresh leaves that seems to please both cats is to crush them and rub them on corners of the sofa, their cat furniture, etc. They both adore that and rub-rub-rub, Pickles immediately and Mila a couple of hours later. Quirky, as only royalty can be. 🙂


          • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 10 2016 9:52 am

            RC is so grateful for you informing staff on proper catnip cultivation and use. Such dunderheads!

            Liked by 1 person

  4. Kate Crimmins / Jun 8 2016 7:56 am

    I have decided to move to your home when I get old and incapacitated. You manage a delightful wildlife refuge. A futon in the atrium will be good.

    Liked by 2 people

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 10 2016 9:10 am

      Promise you’ll not sprain your ankle from falling into the rabbit burrows (and the guinea/bunny would get so upset with the unexpected skylight). Thanks for cruising by to chat

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Jill Foer Hirsch / Jun 8 2016 9:32 am

    But wait, are you saying milk doesn’t come from a grocery store? And catnip doesn’t come from a pet store? My City Beasts and I are having trouble following this confusing post.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sarah Ferguson and Choppy / Jun 8 2016 9:58 am

    Don’t you know better? Cat is always right. Choppy and I are finding this out quickly.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 10 2016 9:04 am

      This not-a-cat-person is much to slow to catch on according to the cat. Molly Malamute wonders why we bother trying to figure it out – other things in life much more enertaining, like squirrels. Paw waves to Choppy!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. notesfromrumbleycottage / Jun 8 2016 10:30 am

    We don’t have a cat. Husband calls them evil.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 10 2016 9:01 am

      All I can say is that they certainly aren’t dogs. A whole different mindset – and often baffling to this not-a-cat-person. Thanks for quietly slipping in that comment


  8. heretherebespiders / Jun 8 2016 12:39 pm

    I think drying it will have to be the solution! I have lemon catnip (who thought that one up, cats don’t like citrus?) and they will only touch it when dried.
    Once I grew the straight stuff outdoors, and neighborhood cats ate it to the ground. Guess they didn’t know about shops!

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 10 2016 8:58 am

      Maybe being outdoors brings out wild harvesting instincts? Outdoor cats definitley know what the plant is for.
      It wouldn’t be so irritating if the plant she likes would grow inside – but noooo. The catnip flourishes while the favored cat grass refuses to exist for very long. I’d sit it outside to perk it up, except then these annoying little gnats get into it and once back inside they drive me crazy. Much to the amusement of the cat, no doubt. She has such a quirky digestive system the grass really seems to make a difference, so we keep trying with it. Thanks for batting a catty remark this way

      Liked by 1 person

  9. sustainabilitea / Jun 8 2016 3:05 pm

    You musings recalled to mind the days when I was growing up and my grandparents lived on their farm in Nebraska. Grandpa milked cows (by hand) and sometimes he would shoot the milk (live stream) at the cats. What joy and happy expressions!!


    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 10 2016 8:50 am

      It was funny to see cats run to the barn and line up waiting their turn for a snack. One cow found them quite annoying. Lucky to have had all that fun. Thanks for trotting over with a comment


  10. Chez Shea / Jun 8 2016 3:06 pm

    You’ve got to admire refined good taste…

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 10 2016 8:47 am

      RC is a connoisseur of the finer things in life. She sometimes despairs of staff’s stumbling abilities to keep pace. Thanks for harvesting a comemnt to leave

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Kirt D Tisdale / Jun 8 2016 3:59 pm

    I cracked up with the picture…total disgust….we have two Maine Coons that we often hear talking about how the “authorities” are going to let them starve unless they corral us into getting their food….I have been fearful about putting catnip (bagged or fresh) into that mix….

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 10 2016 8:44 am

      Maine Coons are hilarious – wouldn’t want to upset them too much. SInce they seem to be quite chatty, they might actually figure out how to dial the pizza place that delivers (extra cheese, ham – forget the veggies). We have one adopt us once…actually there was a show Maine Coon male in the old neighborhood who was an escape artist…lots of suspiciously similar kittens around looking for a home. Thanks for planting a catty comment

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Paul / Jun 9 2016 2:53 am

    Haha! Too funny Phil. here in Canada one of the favorite dog treats is dried pigs ears – real ears dried and packaged. When I was the transportation manager for a large discount retailer, we serviced our stores as far as 600 miles away and they all carried these ears in their pet supply depts. Anyway, one of our transport drivers used to travel with his rottweiler, which was a sweetheart. The dog slept through much of the run but would arise at the furthest destination – a small northern town called Cochrane. The delivery was after hours and the manager would meet the driver there and open the transport door. The driver would get out to open the trailer doors and the rottweiler would follow him and jump onto the dock. Then the dog would make its way into the store, through the backroom and the aisles and go directly to the display with the pigs’ ears. He would wait patiently while the truck was unloaded and then the driver would come and pick out one package of ears,pay for them,open them and give the dog one.The dog would then make hos way back through the store and backroom,out the door and into the truck where he would lay quietly chewing his pig ear. ha!

    Oh, HRH, I left an open tin of salmon at the door for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 10 2016 8:36 am

      RC Cat “Ah, now there’s one with fine manners. Your mother did a superb job with you, young man. Now you must excuse Us while We relish this lovely gift. Staff will see you out.”
      Staff: “Quick over here, Paul. What a well mannered dog that was! There’s a pet store here that welcomes dogs, so we take Molly in for collar fittings, but they have dog eye level bins of pig ears and various luring treats and we have to watch her or she will select a few on her own on the way out. She’s about ready to hitch a ride to cooler climates with summer temps arriving with the clear skies. Appreciate you stopping in – it’s nuts here (for about a month…RC is going to issue a proclamation). I promise to get by today to see what you are up too. you always have great tales to tell.) Thanks for such a treat of a comment

      Liked by 1 person

  13. pegoleg / Jun 9 2016 9:17 am

    Like kids who turn up their noses at prime rib in favor of hot dogs. They like what they like, eh?

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 10 2016 8:27 am

      Might as well roll with it. Besides she knows where my shoes are…(I am sooo not a cat person)
      Thanks for digging up a comment to leave. (but I’d be careful digging in that area)


  14. The Hook / Jun 10 2016 6:48 am

    Cats may be evil… but they rule.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 10 2016 8:15 am

      Anything that eats rats gets my vote. (Gee hope the presidential candidates aren’t listening.Although…) Thanks for scratching out a comment to leave.


  15. Jay E. / Jun 10 2016 7:22 am

    I’ve been puppy-sitting / training an Aussie who, when given the choice of a dog-friendly rope, peanut butter filled Kong toy, or a Frisbee, will choose to chew on the chair leg.

    Our cat will often leave leftover food alone – even food we purposefully put down for him – until we put it in the trash. Then he has to attack the can, rip the bag open and eat anything remotely edible.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 10 2016 8:18 am

      You can even try coating the rope with peanut butter – and the chair leg still gets chosen. Maybe something to herd would be useful…cats are always a challenge with that. HA HA
      Your cat has some serious prey instincts…or distrustes you terribly. Watch it, a cat trained as a food taster may be showing up at your door. Thanks for tossing a comment this way

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jay E. / Jun 10 2016 10:19 am

        Actually, he bit the cat’s tail. The cat was amazingly cool about the whole thing and simply moved his tail while looking at the dog with complete and utter disdain.

        He’s an Aussie, and he does try to herd me when we’re outside.

        Now that he’s learned where the door is, he often positions himself between his people and the door to protect them.


        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 10 2016 12:04 pm

          Cats do know total cool. Better wath the Aussie…he’s bound to be working out how to open the door. The German taught Molly how to work levers. Dogs’ thought patterns are a shifting as a Rubic cube! Keeps you on your toes 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: