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May 20, 2016 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Most Likely

It’s the ultimate mantra.

For less stress. Less clutter of mind and garage.

A simple guide best learned early: “Is it most likely to end up in a garage sale?”

Dog showing menacing look with Woof Washer around neck.. (screenshot.

Oh, yeah. That dog looks thrilled. Nothing like a shot of water right into the ear canal. Got the vet and ER on speed dial? (screenshot.Woofwasher360)

For your consideration, “The Woof Washer”. (Theme from Twilight Zone eerily plays.)

The idea’s origin probably spilled out of a car wash.

And I have yet to get an acceptable answer why a large muddy pooch carrying half the dirt from the south 40 on its’ coat cannot run through the car wash.

So unrealistic to think that Molly would grab on to a waving strip of cloth and be sent spinning wildly around. She might try to take a piece home, but she isn’t interested in carnival rides.

Standing dog with Woof Washer circling torso. (Bed, Bath, and

Maybe if you start at the back bumper. What? Wait. There’s 3 hands. Well, with a helper, anything’s possible. Or a stuffed dog. I think it moves in the instructional video. (Bed,bath,

So Woof Washer. What do you think?

Molly loves hula hoops for breakfast and lunch. Almost as much as harnesses and Frisbees. Not exactly the fiber we plan for.

Splashy, but doesn’t pass the pitch for pups. A Most Likely, most likely.

Yet although with a bit of repackaging, mothers of toddlers might consider…

Water seeking it’s level, most likely.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

Pony wash! Works on miniature horses!(

Pony wash! Perfect if your parents got you that horse like they promised. Told you. I ‘m not suffering in silence. If you don’t get that, check the last picture’s caption in the pervious post. (screenshot







  1. easyweimaraner / May 20 2016 7:15 am

    I sadly have only two hands… and we better use the bathtub, Easy would run like the wind before I could place this construction around his body…

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 20 2016 7:47 am

      Molly Malamute was excited as she thought this was a dog managed yard sprinkler in the picture and the dog had put it on backwards. “If the water spurted outwards,” she said, “how much run, I mean fun!” We said not likely.
      Thanks for washing down a comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Paul / May 20 2016 7:29 am

    Wooo, that German Shepherd does not look happy. I cannot see an animal appreciating the needle like streams that seem to be coming from the device.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 20 2016 7:53 am

      See, now, I wanted that disturbed German picture on Reader – it was even a bit bigger in hopes of being chosen, but does WP listen? Nooooo. WP wanted the 2nd picture on Reader. (We have had discussions on this WP and I…upsurping artist’s intentions! HA HA) Molly prefers a nice indoor shower – steps right in. She loves the “pool”/tank at her running fields. We’re afraid if we showed her how the bathtub worked, shed get like this husky cousin.(This is sooo Molly). THanks for showering this page with a comment

      Liked by 2 people

  3. roughseasinthemed / May 20 2016 7:53 am

    Podencos say NO to rain. In any form.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 20 2016 8:10 am

      Snowy, we’ve found that any dog who lived on their own outside knows when to come in from the rain while dog breeder pets aren’t so wise. You’ve heard of dry shampoo? Well, Molly says dirt works the same way. Although she does love a nice swimming pool, but, no, we are not getting a real one…No matter how much anyone begs.
      Have you seen the husky who refuses to get out of the bathtub? Just added that video to Paul’s reply. Molly would be like that if she suspected bathtubs were really indoor swimming pools. Summer is here. Not the season of comfortable living for dogs with heavy coats (We suspect heat exhaustion was part of what took us to the dog ER last weekend. One sick puppy. She loves to run and had spent 3 hours playing with friends in the fields. I have to check to see if dogs will be able to have free access to the tank/”pool” there if they know they need to cool down. Last year she splashed happily.)
      Paw waves and no to odd rain, indeed! Thanks for splashing down here to bark along


  4. betterphotos4you / May 20 2016 8:06 am

    The Twilight Zone–(the Garage) is full of them-the unbelieveable, the plastic dollar store devices made in China that just keep cluttering, wasting time and “DOE.a deer a female Deer” This writer Digress,s…Best to wash your best friend, without causing Discomfort, or ear infections, skin problems from a needle spray as Paul mentioned.

    Have GREAT Long Weekend “Labour Day” in Canada–In the United States-July 1st?
    Thank you Alan for your wonderful Satirical Blog–Enjoy Everyone
    Doug W

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 20 2016 10:00 am

      Who doesn’t love “Doh”? (Or was that dough? Your choice of definitions).
      Cheers for long weekends – for any reason. Hope you can get outside and take some pictures.(Maybe a couple of days without rain predicted here…but sweltering and mosquitoes instead)
      Hey, have you considered working with RedBubble for your photos? I think they print on demand and work with Paypal.Sometimes easier to let others manage the website and not steal time from what you like doing. In ay case, get out there and “Go quackers!” or with the ducks, whoever’s in the wetlands these days.
      Thanks for adding a splashy comment!


  5. sustainabilitea / May 20 2016 8:25 am

    I’m sure there’s a dog somewhere that would like this, but I think the manufacturer is barking up the wrong tree.



    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 20 2016 9:51 am

      They are missing a bet. For a real challenge try approaching a cat with that thing. Not going to jump through that hoop. Thanks for leashing a comment here!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Ally Bean / May 20 2016 9:09 am

    No dog. No experience washing one. No way does that Woof Washer look like a good idea to me. But what do I know? If the Woofer works, why wonder?


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 20 2016 10:05 am

      When I saw the quick ad on late night TV, I thought WWSTS (What would shark tank say). And it’s in the Bed, Bath, and Beyond ads this week. Perfect timing with the beginning of smelly dog season.(RC Cat insisted I include that last comment. You know how sensitive cats are). We’ll see if they start marking it down in the next 3 weeks. I can see small children having a blast outside with it. Thanks for walking over to wonder about this watery post


  7. D. Wallace Peach / May 20 2016 11:19 am

    My grandson would love that. The dog – not so much. Ha ha.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 20 2016 4:33 pm

      It looks like they are aiming at the wrong audience. Could it be put in a reverse curve and hang it from a zip line or drone as a flowerbed or yard sprinkler? That might be entertaining, too. Thanks for making a splash with that comment

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Chez Shea / May 20 2016 2:45 pm

    A Woof Washer! What a cool idea. Essential for a dog like mine, who just loves to roll in donkey poo!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 20 2016 4:35 pm

      If it stinks they will find and roll in it. It was pretty cool in that you could add soap to the wash water. But trying to use that here would end up in a sloshy game of keep-away. Thanks for leaving a splashy comment


  9. heretherebespiders / May 20 2016 3:20 pm

    Ha! That wouldn’t even get beyond the first layer of fur on Molly or Neko! And likely scare the pants off of them…well, you know what I mean.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 20 2016 4:38 pm

      You are so right. Their coats are the original rain slickers models. Now the pony? You might need soem of those hockey goalie guards for that – hooves of hysteria. Thanks for Running with the stream of comments

      Liked by 1 person

  10. RKLikesReeses / May 20 2016 4:31 pm

    ::shakes head::
    Never washed a dog but my suspicion is that this thing wouldn’t be welcome. Rain shouldn’t fall up and sideways. Dogs might feel like they’re spinning in place. Disorienting! Amazing, what people invent.
    Oh! Plants might enjoy it!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 20 2016 4:42 pm

      Whoa. You brought up a whole different worry: disorienting confused rain. (Followed quickly but doggone rapid escape). I wondered if it might work for soaking a newly planted tree? Maybe they should sell it in the garden dept. Thanks for kindly suggesting alternative uses for this splashy item

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Littlesundog / May 20 2016 9:50 pm

    I think the hummingbirds might love this… I know my trio of Chin would never go for it!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 22 2016 1:03 pm

      They might go for it and run far far away with it? Or bark insanely at it like the fox terrier next door that attacks their fan spinkler with great energy. Thanks for splashing in these waters (Hope the stping storms are skirting you)


  12. 1bl0gr3ad3r / May 21 2016 10:36 am

    Cannot imagine how any dog owner could have possibly invested in such a thing!! But you know, making it a halfmoon shape, more like a wand, might really be nice for full size horses. After a ride, we hose’em down and they love that cool water, but squirting with a garden hose is not ideal coverage. However, don’t think i will be heading for BB&B for one to mess with! (Btw, we just have fields & barns, not stables & stalls and fancy stuff) Virtual tennis ball to Molly– curtsy with virtual feathered mousie to RC Cat:)


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 22 2016 1:10 pm

      The problem is it looks so flimsy ( and the extra hand in the picture… is that an add-on option, I wonder). The half-wand idea makes so much more sense for dogs and horses. (Molly said she’s be glad to haul it inside to let RC cat try it out..if the cat would only stop runnin. “Stop running. Look, Molly has a surprise for you!” Yeah, ER and vet in standby)
      Thanks for adding a splashy comment!


  13. marthaschaefer / May 21 2016 11:33 am

    I saw this and thought “someone has WAY too much time on their hands.” If it still takes two to wash the dog, the regular method of hose works just fine. In most shots the ring is around the middle of the animal. I question how easy it is to pass over their front legs to get the contraption in place.

    There must be better uses such as toddler-washer or plant-pot-soaker…


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 22 2016 12:56 pm

      Or maybe they have a ton of old hula hoops they ordered but didn’t sell because some dog bit holes in them? The hoop looks hinges so you can open and close it like jaws…if you have 3 hands to keep the dog from escaping meanwhile. Molly would not like the ear drenching or blast of cold water under her hind legs’undercarriage. Might need more than 3 hands for that. Now toddlers have a whole different level of expectations – toss them and one of these outside in a yard afer eating? NOt sure it’s industrial/toddler strength build, though. Thanks for adding a lively water feature comment

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Kate Crimmins / May 21 2016 12:27 pm

    Even I, without a dog, know that this won’t fly. Around a tree, yes!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 22 2016 10:00 am

      It is perfect for a tree…or maybe as bird bath entertainment in the hot summer? Birds wanna be cool, too…spas are to expensive for most of them HA HA. Thanks for showering this spot with a comment

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Melissa / May 22 2016 12:12 am

    I am on a huge spring clean, wish I could have a garage sale! I’d clean up literally and make a decent profit. Also pony!!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 22 2016 9:59 am

      We used to hold big street-wide garage sales, but downsized and are tyring not to collect any more stuff. Always nice to get items with a lot of life in them into the hands of those who want/need them. Old saying “Whatever you are throwing away, there’s someone at this very moment looking for that.” Amazingly true. Thanks for traveling over to chat and packing a comment to leave

      Liked by 1 person

      • Melissa / May 22 2016 2:41 pm

        That sound slike heaven! Garage sales in Canada are so fun. Streets advertise them weeks in advance and you always find something that you need. Good for the environment too. Yes I am trying to live a decluttered life as much as possible. It is a great feeling.

        Liked by 1 person

  16. Paul / May 22 2016 3:09 am

    As an aside Phil, I just did a guest post over at Mark Bialczak’s. I would be honored if you had the time to drop by for a read. Thank You.


  17. Stephanie Faris, Children's Author / May 22 2016 11:56 am

    I saw that on TV and thought it looked like a cool idea. However, you’d have to hook it up to the hose so the water would be cold. I always bathe our dog in warm water. Weird, huh? But when my parents’ dog rolled around and got dead bird on him somehow, I was thinking that sprinkler thingy would have been VERY handy to have! Instead we had to bring him in and bathe him in the bathtub. Ick.



    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 22 2016 12:50 pm

      Cold water – maybe that’s why they had 3 hands in the picture? Even the faucet water gets bathtub warm during the summer here. How is it that dogs can find the hawk kill spot where the smell lingers long afer the feathers are gone? Dry shampoo doesn’t work on that. Yuck. Thanks for stopping by with a watery comment


  18. Kourtney Heintz / May 25 2016 8:57 am

    Here’s what confuses me: why would you wash a dog outside? I’ve always washed mine in the tub or shower so he um actually gets clean. Wouldn’t you create mud with the washing and wouldn’t the dog likely just get dirty again? Also what dog stands calmly still while being washed? Mine doesn’t I have to lock him in the shower with me.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 25 2016 2:55 pm

      Wash a dog inside? Not likely with my mom. We had a galvinized tub and a hose. It was always a close call whether the dog or kid actually got washed. My favorite dog was the black one that simply soaked in the tub of water all summer – a true water hound that found a way to stay cool and clean all by himself.
      Molly loves a shower but is horrid about getting washed outside. (But the deck gets nice and clean and the yard plants love the water drive by). She’d probably like the carwash, too, with all the hula stips, but management there frowns..
      Thanks for hanging up a comment here


  19. Kirt D Tisdale / May 25 2016 11:56 am

    Let me stay with the visual as presented….perfect solution to washing dogs…now back to reality…none of ours would have even considered hanging around while that thing played car wash….we’d have spent more time chasing them than accomplishing anything…I had to come back to this post due to my first thought….looks good conceptually.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 25 2016 3:00 pm

      It’s the ultimate impulse buy – or gift for that person who has everything (who would have this already?) Better their garage than mine…besides we have this old hula hoop that with a few holes punched in it, a bit of plastic tubing and lots of duct tape….
      Thanks for washing up a comment to leave

      Liked by 1 person

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