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May 6, 2016 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Greetings. Card, you silly goose.


man and woman. Addams Family. 1964.Morticia/Carolyn Jones. Gomex:/john Astin (ABC/,no cr/

Exceptional mother Morticia Addams.(ABC/USPD/

Where are they? The greeting cards for exceptional mothers. Oh, wait, you’re confused.

Not “exceptional” like so amazing there is no hope of ever becoming her equal. Not like the “exceptional” where her children are in her shadow, but happily beam in her reflected glory.

More like the exception to the  gag-me sweet messages and flowery images that Hallmark and Mother’s Day merchants promote: The mothers who leave shadows in their kids’ hearts.

Mommie Dearest movie poster. (

“No wire coat hangers, ever!” Mommy was only trying to protect the clothes. And what is wrong with that?(

Not every mom is a star. 

Some “love”, but do not “like” their kid. There are the miserable mommies who take their bitterness out on their families. Don’t forget the ones who never should have had kids at all.

Mother’s Day must be dreaded by some.

A dark situation. One too uncomfortable for society to consider.

Still surprised the greeting card companies haven’t targeted that group . There’s little else they don’t feast on. Can you imagine the creative messages possible?

Something like “Thanks, mom! Life with you was like Halloween everyday!”

Or “Will always be grateful you were my mom. Now I know I can live through anything!”

Two women at lunch. . Rosalind Russell in the movie "The Women" (USPD. pub date, publicity still/

You are so right. No other choice. Yet another lumpy clay ash tray/candy dish Mother’s Day gift will meet a sad end by slipping and crashing to the floor. When will they discover Starbucks cards? (USPD/

Have you noticed how many greeting cards are so mean-spirited now?

Masquerading as witty, modernly sarcastic, or sophisticated fun.

Maybe it’s all in the way you read those cards.

With traditional greeting cards there’s no tone of voice or emoji to clue anyone in. Perhaps it’s planned that way.

family. 1964. Dick VanDyke Show. Laura and Rob Petrie bringing Richie home from hospital. (CBS/, no cr/

You may not remember it, but she sure does. Ah, that joy of the first hour of the first day home with the baby. Then, reality sinks in along with the diapers, spitting up, and crying. You owe her. (Laura and Rob Petrie bringing Richie home from hospital.Dick VanDyke show.CBS/USPD/

Oh, well. Back to stalking the card aisle looking for ones not dog-eared and smudged from the frantic last minutes grabs. 

Construction paper, glitter, and doilies may be the best option so late.

Caring enough to spend time and effort to make something just for her.

Remember when school art projects were all that any mom got? And they were happy about it. They said so.

Eccentric woman on stairs. Auntie Mame. Rosalind Russell (Rotten Tomatoes/dharmabumdri)

“A monkey! Exceptional choice. Finally something useful. Does he do windows?” (Auntie Mame/Rotten Tomatoes)

It’ll be fine.

I know the most wished for Mother’s Day gift:

Technical trouble shooting to figure out what TV remote /receiver box button got accidentally pushed and get that back up and working again.

Game of Thrones and Mr. Selfridge on Masterpiece Classic, you know.

(There’s always a problem child in every family, but do TVs really count as a siblings? Certainly troublesome enough. Chatty and hard to turn them off….)

If Momma’s not happy, nobody’s clicking happy.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

 Summer gets attacked by a a mother goose. (Her sister Stevie b. Twitter/ch13 news)

Invitation only! Do not show up at someone’s home without an invitation. And I just got them down for a nap! (by Summer’s sister, Stevie b./Twitter/ch13 news)

So much for that storybook friendly Mother Goose…

Summer is saved from Mother Goose! (Stevie B/ ABC13. news)

“Hey, keep your kid away from my kids or she’ll get another real life game of better duck, duck, it’s a goose!”(Summer is saved from Mother Goose/ Stevie B/ ABC13. news)






  1. susielindau / May 6 2016 7:49 am

    Ha! Mommy Dearest.
    I lucked out although she still doesn’t understand my energy level…


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 6 2016 8:49 am

      No doubt your mom was one who after bringing you home called the pediatrician to ask where the Off Switch was located. HA HA! Better an energetic kid than a quiet couch potato baby – the busy ones are so much more fun! Thanks for gathering a comment to leave. (And Happy Mother’s Day early)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. heylookawriterfellow / May 6 2016 7:55 am

    I lucked out with a fine mom. But, yes, I think you have a million-dollar greeting card idea there.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 6 2016 8:56 am

      You know, there are those evil “telegram” companies that have a person show up at a door to sing/deliver unpleasant messages and songs for break-ups and things to people you hate (and aren’t afraid to make angry). Greeting cards seem safer – you can cut and paste alphabet letters so you don’t have to sign them – and you can mail them from another place. You’d think some enterprising person with a sense of humor would have stormed into that Bad Mommy market. Thanks for stopping by to salute your mom and add a happy comment

      Liked by 1 person

  3. easyweimaraner / May 6 2016 8:04 am

    I think my mom is a star… and a little like a hero… she raised me and survived this adventure :o)


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 6 2016 8:58 am

      Dog mommies and those who believe a little disorder and dirt is developmental – and housework can wait, but people can’t – those stars deserve the best-est Mother’s Day ever. Thanks for the stellar comment. Paws up for moms


  4. pensitivity101 / May 6 2016 8:05 am

    Very difficult to get a card for a mother who has no concept of the idea, but always expects the best. (Glad to say not mine! ) One of the reasons I started making my own…. not for sarky messages, but because I was fed up with the over flowery hypocritical crap that I didn’t mean, and that wouldn’t be appreciated anyway. How can you give flowers to someone with love when their response is ‘Oh no, not flowers again.’ That was the last time actually.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 6 2016 9:03 am

      That flower comment! Can so identify. Bought flowers were a luxury and growing up rarely appeared. So when brother and I got jobs and could afford it, we sent flowers on Mother’s Day. Both of us, the first year I could afford it. Made mom sneeze (she had lots of allergies) and us laugh. She really had plenty of fresh flowers in dad’s garden outside and said she’d rather just have visits or phone calls. That works. That and homemade cards – she always preferred those. (Does anyone actually read those cards before they buy the pretty pictures? You teeth can rot from just reading all that sugary language. HA HA) Thanks for creating a lovely comment


      • pensitivity101 / May 6 2016 9:34 am

        I enjoy making my cards, and in some instances have put my own verses in them to make them extra speical.


  5. Sarah Ferguson and Choppy / May 6 2016 8:11 am

    I don’t know…I think my mom might be into the monkey…


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 6 2016 9:05 am

      Sound like the perfect mom! (That monkey better come with a trainer and a towncar to pick it up at the end of every day. Enough monkey business!) Thanks for swinging by with a comment

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Paul / May 6 2016 8:13 am

    My Mum and I haven’t spoken for years.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 6 2016 9:09 am

      And that probably works just fine. Sometimes there’s a huge personality difference/conflict or unreal expectations. Distance works perfectly for everyone involved. (The alternatives far too messy to consider) Hmmmm, how about approaching Hallmark about starting up a new division and being writers for that? HA HA (I know the fires are on the opposite side of your world, but the flames and smoke look dreadful. Hope the firefighters get a break and it tames down quickly)
      Thanks for mailing in a comment


      • Paul / May 6 2016 6:35 pm

        Yes,that fire in Fort Mac is the worst in Canadian history. We’ve lost a few small towns or parts of towns to fire in the north before – it can be a tinderbox – but this is orders of magnitude worse. They’ve evacuated 90,000 people so far. The oil production areas are further north so they are not affected yet. there are some sad stories – like one Syrian refugee who had relocated to Fort Mac just 3 months ago.She and her 3 kids have lost everything again.


        • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 7 2016 8:39 am

          As we have massive wild fire seasons here (a really bad on caused by El nino weather not long ago), big fires anywhere are on my radar. The area seems to have little roads slowing evacuations fleeing a wall of extremely rapidly moving flame. this morning they said the winds may shift and turn the fire away from more populated areas. Some say parts of the tar sands are being effected ( which means lots of temporary buildings and more people/vehicles than usual?) Scary situation. Thoughts and prayers with everyone. (and run animals run!)

          Liked by 1 person

  7. Kate Crimmins / May 6 2016 8:30 am

    Happy mother’s day to you Phil!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 6 2016 9:11 am

      Thanks and ditto – leaping the calendar a bit, but planning to unplug into life a bit this weekend (and the pictures too good to waste HA HA!) Thanks for signing in with a comment

      Liked by 1 person

  8. The Hook / May 6 2016 9:03 am

    You’re one silly goose.. you mother blogger.

    That one felt weird by I know you’ll appreciate my humor, right?


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 6 2016 9:14 am

      You’re always good for a giggle. Thanks, Hook. People who can’t laugh, aren’t living. Smiles to you for the weekend!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Littlesundog / May 6 2016 9:08 am

    I loved this post and the images! Made me laugh. I make my own cards… but I think this is another one of those silly holidays. Money, expectations, obligation… GAH!! Enough to send me running for the woods!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 6 2016 9:22 am

      I still make cards, too. Much more personalized and for a long time in my family (lacking a big budget) the gift was really the time a person spent creating the gift. For a few years I actually had a small greeting/art card company which did pretty well in multiple states until Hallmark decided to run all the little guys out of the business.
      This is another merchant created holiday. All these TV ads with little kids saying things like “This tote bag, this cute shirt, this jewelry box? Of course you should buy them all – she’s your mom.” Gads. Telling kids one gift isn’t enough? What are we teaching the kids? Better we run them all into the woods – Hansel and Gretel did the evil witch in, so it’s safe now. Thanks for wrapping up a comment to leave


  10. Ally Bean / May 6 2016 10:27 am

    I don’t do much for Mothers Day, not being one or having one around anymore. But it’s fun to watch other people get all maudlin– or in some cases, mean– about the day. It leads to good Monday morning chit-chat, listening to all that happened on Sunday, and what mothers really thought about it.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 6 2016 12:34 pm

      As the years pass, it seems the marketing teams crank up the guilt and obligation buying higher and higher. Geesh, it used to be you’d go to church on Mother’s Day and read the flower signals: people wore a red rose if your mom was alive and a white one if they weren’t. Most cut the blooms from bushes in their yards. Maybe we ate out (a rare luxury then). Any gifts are cards were from the previous week’s art class. Like Halloween and Cinco de mayo – it’s all for the merchants and marketing plans. You’re right – there’s a lot of Monday morning comparing that goes on – especially with social media. Much nicer to be able to relax and enjoy the day without all the mania and sappiness. Thanks for joining in the giggles

      Liked by 1 person

  11. RKLikesReeses / May 6 2016 12:15 pm

    Oh, gosh…had to skip parts and can’t comment sensibly on the actual message here bec I’m crying but maybe I can peck this out bec it’s not on-topic: Loved “The Addams Family” TV show. Such a fan that I know the entire theme song and that a guy named Vic Mizzy wrote it. Seeing that picture is such a kick! Thank you for this lovely bit of happy. I’ll stop back to see this when all the festivities are over; maybe I won’t be so emotional then.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 6 2016 12:40 pm

      We were goth before it was cool! Morticia was an exceptional role model for moms. A show featuring acceptance of others without whining or preaching. Miss the days of solid script writers. I never knew about the song’s author – but do know all the words. Thanks for singing along!

      Liked by 1 person

      • RKLikesReeses / May 11 2016 9:25 am

        Stooped back in so I can read this without getting all mooooshy. Tough to type that way. LOL…haven’t looked at greeting cards in a store in years ($$$) but you inspired me to take a peek online at some of the Mother’s Day ones out there and WOW! Eye-opening! You’re right! ::shakes head::
        Can only imagine what it’s like to be one of today’s young mothers. They came of age with Facebook, etc. All that sharing and emoting! Cards must need to tow the line. But yoweee.
        Sensitive and thoughtful post, as always.

        Liked by 1 person

        • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 11 2016 10:00 am

          Many moms (and dads) would appreciate an old fashioned letter. Ones that make you sit down and focus and take some time with. Those are so rare now,they are really cherished. As you say, each era has to find its’ own way and values. Thanks for mailing in a comment

          Liked by 1 person

  12. Robin / May 6 2016 2:08 pm

    I was fortunate enough to have a good mom and now all I have to do is send thoughts and wishes her way since cards don’t pass through the veil between life and death. Great post. Gotta watch out for those Mother Gooses. Even their rhymes are not necessarily as kindly as they appear on first glance. Poor Jack and Jill tumbling down hills, and those Three Blind Mice getting their tails whacked off.

    Happy Mothers Day, PhilosopherMouse. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 7 2016 8:47 am

      At some point we all become orphans. The good thing is that you can say “Hey mom, look” or “This is for you mom” anytime without postage and worry that the card won’t get there. (we have terrible mail service now)
      HA HA Nursery rhymes are far more than just catchy tunes. Moms have to sneak in tiny survival lessons however they can? Thanks for adding a quacky comment. And enjoy the weekend – it’s not totally scorching hot yet!


  13. C.M. Blackwood / May 6 2016 2:55 pm

    Love the post. Especially love the images you featured. The Munsters, Dick van Dyke, Auntie Mame & Mommie Dearest — just including those in a post should make it go viral.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 9 2016 6:44 pm

      Finding the right images is half the fun. Noticed one of the networks ran Mommie Dearest movie back to back for an entire day. (Wasn’t sure that poster and phrase would mean anything to some readers) Appreciate the kind works. Thanks for wandering in and leaving a comment

      Liked by 1 person

  14. sustainabilitea / May 6 2016 7:16 pm

    I’ve noticed lots of mean-spirited, sarcastic, or just gross cards these days. But because you started with the Adams family, I now have that song running through my head. Heeeeeelp!



    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 7 2016 8:44 am

      All together creepy – everyone sing along…for hours and hours. Sorry about that, but she was a pretty cool mom! Thanks for adding a singing comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Jane Dougherty / May 7 2016 3:49 am

    I get a meal prepared for me by my offspring. Then they stand over me and watch me eat it. They have very strange ideas about how much a normally constituted human being can eat.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 7 2016 8:43 am

      Sort of like foie gras with ducks or geese. (Facing a mandated “Oh, we want to treat/pamper you brunch at a fancy place” tomorrow. Sigh. HAve to put on real shoes HA HA) Happy Mother’s Day early!


      • Jane Dougherty / May 7 2016 9:14 am

        I’m pleased to say that all of my children would be horrified at the idea of eating foie gras despite admitting as much is more or less sacrilege in these parts. But they do think that ‘simple’ is what we have every day, so a special day calls for ‘fancy’. Fancy usually makes me ill.


  16. reocochran / May 9 2016 7:53 pm

    I loved the Dick Van Dyke show when they brought the baby (little Robby) and Mary Tyler Moore when she threw her hat up into the air, she’s “going to make it after all!” 🙂
    Hope everyone had a fun weekend! 🙂


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 10 2016 9:34 am

      Those scripts were so funny – not relying on meanness or shocking the audience. Such character development from the writers. A humorous look at everyday life and ordinary people – all of which is pretty funny…back when people could laugh at themselves. Except Laura always looked smashing in those black stretch pants and sweaters/big city clothes when so few could carry that off HA HA)Thanks for adding a comment card to this basket


  17. Janet Miles / May 10 2016 9:44 am

    I make my own and make to sell in my Etsy shop but you may have given me an idea or two for a new line! Let’s not leave out those un-fatherly fathers!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / May 10 2016 9:56 am

      I had a greeting/art card company at one point and sold in several states, but Hallmark got really serious about running small companies out of business. Considered going on line with it, but went back into publishing instead.
      It’s really funny considering all the sarcastic cards out there that a major line hasn’t picked this one up. Some of the “singing telegrams” offer something similar. Of course the dads need attention, too (one holiday at a time)…Bet women/children those owed child support would line up for irritable messages on cards. Father’s Day is coming up! Then there’s the annoying Baby Momma and Baby Daddies….you could have those anytime of year…announcements for friends and families. Then there’s the step kids…
      We could really get carried away and have a great time. No doubt if you make it, they will come. Thanks for wandering over to chat and designing a comment.


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