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April 25, 2016 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Seedy Side of Bullying

Out of control plant.1962. Reynold Brown movie poster for Day of the Triffids. Allied Artists (USPD: pub.date,CR not renewed/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Temper, temper. No, you cannot have any more MiracleGro. Now get back in your bed.(USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

I refuse to be bullied by vegetation.

After all I’ve done for them.

Know-it-alls. Refusing to recognize that withholding food or water is a kindness at times.

Tough love. I am strong.

They are devious.

  • Quietly invading places they shouldn’t.
  • Blooming when they should be tucked in and resting.
  • While I brave frozen fingers to make sure they are snuggly wrapped in warm coats against winter’s frost, the ingrates wiggle out of them as soon as I turn away. Willfully waving their wraps like a dog running off with the towel after a bath.

But I will not be bullied.

They should forget about hiring mercenaries to do their dirt work.

Their secret slipped out:

 Plant garden sensor. (homedepot.com)

Nag. Nag. Nag. I will not be nagged by planted hired guns. Careful planted ones, or you’ll end up doing all that saving yourself. (homedepot.com)

Have to hope the Plant Kingdom isn’t taking its’ name too seriously.

That they’ve only innocently fallen for a fast talking salesman.

Better to take a stand now. Get to the root of the matter.

Perhaps boycott Home Depot for enabling bullying.

Shears aren’t just for cutting bangs. And it’s clear sheep learned to respect. 

Chop. chop.

Stay sharp now.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

Veg out with these, but cover the windows so the landscape doesn’t see….

Man carrying woman in jungle. 1922 film."With Stanley in Africa" Universal/USPD.pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

With all the recent rains, it’s going to be touch and go to retain yard domination. (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

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31 Comments

  1. easyweimaraner / Apr 25 2016 6:17 am

    we just fight against the jungle …the catchweed has it’s name for a reason… probably the plant from Stephen Kings novel :o)

    Like

  2. Kate Crimmins / Apr 25 2016 7:29 am

    I saw an advertisement for that gizmo and wondered who would need that. My plants have a flair for the dramatic when they are not happy. Rhododendrons roll up their leaves when they are cold. Flowers wilt when the bar is closed. Nope, don’t need anything sent to my smartphone as long as I can see.

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    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 25 2016 9:48 am

      Yeah, those drama queens.Lantana is especially good at going completely limp at the end of a hot day – such a diva. The ground is soggy – we had more ran last night and this morning. Some of these plants need to remember the story about the little boy who cried wolf one time too many. HA HA. Enough junk zapping into my phone – certainly don’t need announcements from the landscape. Thanks for standing strong against plant bullying

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Paul / Apr 25 2016 8:25 am

    I was sure I saw some plants peeking in my window the other night but when I checked there was just some rustling. So what does this gizmo tell you? does it text the names of plants?could it be bribed or blackmailed by the plants already present? perhaps they threatened to overgrow it’s solar cells and kill it.

    Day of the Triffids – Ha! Classic.

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    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 25 2016 10:12 am

      You clearly see the problems of the plants having a union organizer. That hired minion should be wary – as you say, plants can get wound up. Thanks for planting a comment here

      Like

  4. Carrie Rubin / Apr 25 2016 10:07 am

    An app for real-time communication with your garden–who would’ve thunk it? Pretty soon you’ll be able to dispatch little robots to take care of the issues for you.

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    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 25 2016 10:18 am

      It is inventive…could be a problem if you had a picky petunia? Enough alerts on my phone already with the weather, traffic, and city alerts. If this summer’s mosquito problem is as expected, I’d welcome a garden robot that followed directions…maybe long distant controls like the OR robots operate? There’s bound to be a grant for that? It’s a health concern solved. A plus for the housebound – good for mental health to see happy flowers outside…and the scifi scripts are being starting now. HA HA. Thanks for cultivating a response!

      Like

      • Carrie Rubin / Apr 25 2016 10:44 am

        A mosquito-zapping robot–that would be very handy too. And with zika virus (and other mosquito-born illnesses), a great public health tool.

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  5. Jill Foer Hirsch / Apr 25 2016 12:15 pm

    There is a reference to Triffids (as well as many other horror movies) in The Rocky Horror Picture Show song, Double Feature. “Triffids that spit poison and kill”

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    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 25 2016 2:10 pm

      Gold star! You noticed. Had to plant that in there HA HA. Thanks for bravely tromping through the horrors to leave a comment

      Liked by 1 person

  6. robstroud / Apr 25 2016 2:09 pm

    Cytisus Scoparius, Scotch Broom is our merciless nemesis here in the Puget Sound area. It is a scourge.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 25 2016 2:44 pm

      You live in a rain forest. You know the issue. With all the recent rain in the semi-tropics here, it’s going to be a battle. Hack now for your life! Thanks for brushing aside a comment

      Like

  7. marthaschaefer / Apr 25 2016 2:26 pm

    I just don’t need any more alerts on my smart phone about who/what needs what now…I was researching bar-b-que grills the other night. Do you know you can get them with WiFi? Start the grill on your way home. Wait, who is there to put the food on? Too much of a good thing me thinks!

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    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 25 2016 2:53 pm

      Someday I’ll probably be mowed down by a tornado or something and they will go “Why? We sent alerts!” There are so many darn alerts my phone was Chatty Cathy doll. 1. I watch the sky for weather and chemical plant explosions and 2. the darn alerts are always late and repeat over and over. Dog and cat are better alarm system in most cases anyway.
      WiFi grill. We are in trouble. One of the most amusing grills are the ones you can mount on your trailer hitch…right by the gas tank. There’d probably be a tailgating alert for that. Thanks for buzzing in to chat

      Liked by 1 person

      • marthaschaefer / Apr 25 2016 4:55 pm

        Ah for the simpler days of Chatty Cathy! I hated her…

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        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 25 2016 5:30 pm

          I never had one not being a doll person – and they were expensive…sort of spooky looking thing and she chattered…real horror movie material obviously

          Liked by 1 person

  8. Larissa Thomson / Apr 25 2016 2:51 pm

    “FEEEEEEED ME SEYMOUR…”

    Fabulous list of vegetation movies! Well done! There are kids’ movies out too – the Veggie Tales – but they’re probably not nearly as scary as the rest of the list you have going there – unless you’re a six year old who’s afraid of talking asparagus.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 25 2016 2:57 pm

      Veggie Tales….(screeeeaaaming and running away). No, please, no more Veggie Tales…I’ll give you anything you want…And they say water boarding is their only choice. Interrogators should consult with parents who would have plenty of ideas HA HA Thanks for planting a terrific/terrifying comment

      Liked by 1 person

  9. D. Wallace Peach / Apr 25 2016 8:10 pm

    Okay. That was hysterical. Out here in the rainforest things grow like…like weeds! It’s a constant battle. There are whole sections of “lawn” and “garden” that I’ve given up on. I refuse to be bullied by vegetation too, but I am so outgunned! 🙂

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 26 2016 8:49 am

      Anyone inhabiting a tropical plant friendly environment knows the battle. Homeowners’ Associations have a fine line between natural landscaping and neglected/given up grounds….Some complain about killing frosts or droughts – actually those area the only hope of control. A bit of a concern that plants are going high tech…we had such a slim advantage already…Thanks for chopping off a comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Jane Dougherty / Apr 26 2016 12:48 am

    Thank goodness Round Up is still available. Who cares about the planet? Kill kill kill!

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    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 26 2016 8:45 am

      Easier to move to AZ or New Mexico for bare earth – no effort required there! Getting to the root of the problem – if piece talks fail – I have a shovel and I can to dig it.HA HA. Thanks for pouring out a helpful comment

      Like

  11. Ally Bean / Apr 26 2016 8:29 am

    I don’t want my landscape to talk to me. Being a conscientious person, I’d feel obligated to listen and then even more of my day would be eaten up by the trivial. I’ve already got a chatty toothbrush that knows how to phone me, although I avoid her calls. *shakes head in dismay*

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    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 26 2016 9:00 am

      Which would have the longest dialogue: sentimental roses or forget-me-nots? The pansies are pretty easy to ignore, daisies are simple and direct, but the other two are so emotional…
      Shiver. A high tech tooth brush? getting into horror story script lands there.
      Brush or brush, you’re at risk indoors and out. Take care. Thanks for planting a comment here

      Liked by 1 person

  12. The Hook / Apr 26 2016 5:32 pm

    Day of the Triffids?
    Man, that takes me back…

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    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Apr 27 2016 6:51 am

      All you need is a couch, popcorn, and a flickering screen for vintage screams. May Triffids never die…maybe live in the neighbor’s yard though…
      Thanks for tuning in

      Like

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