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January 20, 2016 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Farmersonly.com too far afield

They sure got mad when they noticed her focusing intently on that farmersonly.com ad.

“We have better plans for you than that!” An arranged marriage was unavoidable.”When you are old enough. When you’re ready.”

Well, speaking delicately, an indisputable sign said she was now ready.

girl named Noemi with her long hair down..1903.Karoly Ferenczy,1862-1917/USPD.reprod of PD art, artist life/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Fielding her dreams.(USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Enter the all business Matchmaker with her endless list of questions:

  • Did she prefer indoors or outdoors? (That got her hopes up.)
  • Could she settle for walking as entertainment as well as exercise?
  • Was she an early riser?
  • Have trouble falling to sleep?
  • How did she feel about polygamy?
  • Could she be polite and patient with the elderly? Even a fussy ancient auntie?
  • Big dogs scare her?
  • Does she like cats? (Not one laugh when she snorted, “Yes, for breakfast and lunch.” No. They scowled. A lot.)

After enduring all the questioning, she still wasn’t dismissed to go out and play. Maybe her days of play were over.

They ordered her to walk back and forth. Forth and back. And again.

A bit of discussion. Perhaps she was just tired, the Matchmaker said – not kindly. Suggestions were tossed at her. “Hold your head up. Shoulders back. Walk proudly. Think ballerina, not clodhopper.”

Finally, she was able to sit.

And that was criticized, too. Demurely cross feet at the ankle, they said. Sit still. Don’t fidget.

Thoughtful girl standing by water. girl. Angelus. 1879. by Theodore Robinson 1852-1896./Colby College Museum of Art/USPD. artist life, reprod of PD art/Commons.wikimedia.org)

She sought a place. One where no matter how you walked, it was perfect. (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

It was hard to feel worthy of any match by then.

Trying to listen through a thickening fog of doubts, she knew she must try. No choice.

They had such hopes for her.

Now in the car, she vibrated with nervousness.

Afraid to look at the world blurring past the windows.

Glancing at the Matchmaker for some sign of approval and encouragement.

What she got was a flow of words about the area like a travelogue.

Occasionally, a directive to sit still and not scratch. Especially not scratch. “A lady of quality does not scratch.”

But she was only a little lady. And only on the inside. How she manage?

The house was so large. Her steps small. The matchmaker did not rush her. She was grateful for this small kindness.

Oh, the parents. Must make a good impression! Was her collar straight, she fretted. She didn’t dare reach to check.

A young girl finely dressed. Marion Lenbach.1901.Franz vonLenbach 1836-1904/USPD.reprod of PD art:artist life/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Simply staged. Costumed for the performance. Could she field enough questions to gain their approval?(USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

A gracious welcome inside. Oh, so warm and bright.

She sat as prettily as possible. Head up. Hoping her hair was shiny enough. Her eyes sparkling at all the windows overlooking the backyard.

Still. Show a calm disposition. A small smile. Not too big, they had said. Certainly not toothy.

Behind her there was a click, click, click across the hardwood floor.

Oh, that must be the picky old  maiden aunt. Oh.

The body language of the others told her this was who would decide her fate.

The Grand Dame paced back and forth not taking eyes off the her.

Looking down that long nose.

The soft, not too stern, voice surprised her “What do they call you?”

Shifting unavoidably out of nervousness. “They call me Bella, or Ella, or I answer to just about anything if there’s food – and a kind word.

young girl holding flowers. (Alexei Harlamov 1840-1925/USPD.artist life /Commons.wikimedia.org)

She blurted it out! Ruined everything. If wishes were horses, she’d be fields away. (USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Silence. Seemed like it lasted forever.

Like a magic spell being spun.

Then, with great grace,  a courtly downward dog bow as the resident German Shepherd gently said, “Ella. Enchanted. Your happily ever after begins today. Welcome forever home.”

2 German Shepherd dogs playing.ALL rights resesrved. Copyrighted. NO permissions gratned

You passed the interview. We choose you. Fear no more. Your dreams not so far afield. ©

Molly Malamute is pleased to share this from her BFF, The German, who in her infinite wisdom, has selected a young RC-in-Training for her Realm.

“A Mini-Me,” she boasts. “Reminds me of myself. That Mo cat lump is simply too befuddled and only thinks of food, the addict. Must be barked at watched every minute and kept exercising. His tiny orange side kick, Little, has shown no interest in operations or management of the Realm. So as advised by RC Cat, We put out notice of a vacancy. Miss Ella Enchanted responded and has met with approval by all. She will need to rest and fatten up a bit (not to Murphy standards), but she has been rescued from uncertain life on the streets after fleeing an unsuitable, brutal home. But all are confident she has made her way to where she always was meant to be: to her field of dreams.”

The German chatting with EllaEnchanted. ALL rights reserved. Copyrighted NO permissions granted

Don’t worry kid. We’ll have a field day in the back yard.©

Don’t mind me. I’m just staff. (Tiptoeing quietly out)

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

Portrait of two German Shepherds. NO permissions granted. All rights reserved. Copyrighted

OK. Fielding requests for an official portrait.©

 

 

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37 Comments

  1. sustainabilitea / Jan 20 2016 6:48 am

    I always enjoy the puns. I had a feeling where this might be gong. Welcome to the newbie and kudos to the staff.

    janet

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 20 2016 7:04 am

      Can’t help it. We grew up with Mad MAgazine as a primary reading source and no radio in the car during summer trips. It was very punny. Apparently The German was lonely without Molly around (Cats being no fun at all..they imitate rocks so often), so her Person found a companion and recently sent pix. Enough for a dog parade now. Thanks for trotting over to chat.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Beth / Jan 20 2016 7:39 am

    YAY!!! Welcome Ella!!! I already look forward to future missives from the German regarding a new found friend.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 20 2016 10:03 am

      Molly keeps grinning that when they visit, the pack will almost outnumber the people. Maybe going to their house might be wiser…Thanks welcoming the little paw.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. pensitivity101 / Jan 20 2016 8:04 am

    Terrific post. Glad the dogs are getting on. Nice pictures too.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 20 2016 10:34 am

      Molly is very eager to go play with The German and her Mini-Me Ella, but we think it’s best to let the newest pack member to settle in a bit. And maybe the weather to stop being so drippy…enough muddy dog paws! Thanks for barking along

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Kate Crimmins / Jan 20 2016 8:16 am

    Awww! Dogs often do better with a companion (said by a cat person with no dog knowledge!). (Also, don’t let Molly read that or…well, you know…) Bella or Ella is just lovely! As my husband would say, “Another dog won the lottery!”

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 20 2016 10:38 am

      That’s exactly the comment from this house, too. The German is totally thrilled to have a BFF. Hope she gives Ella a chance to rest and put on a few pounds. The poor thing spent 14 days in the vet barely alive from starvation. Which circles back around to won the lottery for sure. Thanks for pawsing along

      Liked by 1 person

  5. easyweimaraner / Jan 20 2016 8:22 am

    I love that mini-me… or better the mini-you, my mom sings the awwww-song now the whole time, she is your greatest fan :o)

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 20 2016 10:42 am

      Even better, the Mini-Me came with toys and shares…except for the fleecy lamb which she clings to when uncertain. The German is thrilled to have her own sidekick and is showing her off on walks around her neighborhood already. No doubt, we’ll be getting more pix. Thanks for adding a welcome woof!

      Like

  6. shoreacres / Jan 20 2016 8:42 am

    It’s always good when one finds a home. Kudos to all, and a special wave to Ella. My grandmother was named Ella, and she had plumped up very nicely.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 20 2016 10:47 am

      A pretty smilie event. But we think it’s better to let Ella get more secure before Molly barges in to play. (And talk about furniture getting moved. I hear The German and Mini-Me have been moving a room-size rolled up rug around the house when not being watched. Inventing games already! Thanks for giving a welcome wave to the new paws.

      Like

  7. Ally Bean / Jan 20 2016 8:49 am

    There’s no place like home… there’s no place like home…

    Lovely post. I look forward to many more about the new doggy duo.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 20 2016 10:49 am

      Apparently there’s lots of clicking little heels across the hardwood floors. Wonder what Ella will think of the robot rumba. The German finally gave up barking at it when it just ignored her. Thanks for adding a comment to the pack

      Liked by 1 person

  8. The Coastal Crone / Jan 20 2016 9:25 am

    An elegant post for a sweet match! Two dogs always seem better. I am so glad Ella found you and her forever home! Bravo!

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 20 2016 11:07 am

      While Molly is thrilled with your suggestion, Staff is firm that The German (a former foster who enjoys Sleeps Overs here when needed) and Ella are quite happy in their own realm…Oh, ok. visits. Who needs grass in the back yard? (They would outnumber Staff! I know they are plotting already.) Thanks for barking along.

      Like

  9. sportsattitudes / Jan 20 2016 10:31 am

    Welcome Ella! I do think at this point we should see the development of an organizational chart for the residence showing who is in charge, second-in-command, that sort of thing. The residence has a lot of residents!!!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 20 2016 11:12 am

      We are double checking to make sure The German hasn’t dropped treats marking the route from her Realm to this one. A trio of these tails might cause a riot. Staff thinks Ella needs a bit of time to settle in before the three of them creating their own brat pack here. RC has put her paw firmly down on the possibility….atleast don’t bring that jumbo cat, too! I think she is working on some sort of chart and poster of Laws and Orders. Thanks for joining with welcoming maddness

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Littlesundog / Jan 20 2016 1:49 pm

    Bear and Zoe are doing chin spins in Ella’s honor, and Mr. T just ran the chindy 500! What happy news! All of the Japanese Chin we have adopted were rescues and we have fostered a few until they found forever homes. What a grand feeling it is to welcome a new member to the family!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 20 2016 3:19 pm

      Molly is very interested in the Chindy 500…she may start training.
      Miss Ella may not know it yet, she’s hit the jackpot. Well, she seems to have a pretty good idea – although her Realm’s wooden stairs are scary to her…it may be because a giant German Shepherd is constantly whizzing past her at warp speed on them. There’s no doubt she’ll get up to speed on them quickly: food downstairs and frozen cats at the top. Can it get any better? Bear, Zoe, and Mr T. thanks for barking along. Paw waves!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. RKLikesReeses / Jan 20 2016 2:00 pm

    Such wonderful news! Wow!!!! And beautifully expressed! Pickles and Mila (and I!) are THRILLED for all of you. Can’t wait to hear and see more about Ella!
    And hooray for Mad Magazine…LOL — can’t imagine my early life without it.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 20 2016 3:13 pm

      Mad Magazine wasn’t for lazy readers. Back when wit was as sharp as swords.
      Molly is begging to go visit The German’s Realm and see the newest RC-in-training, but we think Ella needs a bit of time to get comfortable and rest up before her wild Auntie Mame Molly shows up. Hang on Pickles and Mila – no doubt crazy times ahead.Thanks fur dancing along

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Jay E. / Jan 20 2016 3:37 pm

    hahaha wunderbar!

    Like

  13. jannatwrites / Jan 20 2016 9:08 pm

    I’m so glad Ella has a forever home! I hadn’t thought about it, but the selection process must be quite confusing and nerve-racking for animals.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 21 2016 8:05 am

      The German said that Ella apparently panicked, then huddled by the front door, and barked after her foster mom left. Having a giant kind “big sister who looks like me” helped the transition. ADopting parents forget it takes the dog a bit to understand they won’t be handed off again. Molly was like that – she was happy, but acted like she was expecting Uber or something. At her first vet visit, our vet asked if Molly was barking if someone came to the door. He said that was a sign the dog understood it actually was her house forever. We ask an awful lot of dogs, if you think about it. They aren’t color blind, and they do think and remember. We’ll catch up with them sooner of later HAHA. Thanks for bouncing by to chat.

      Like

  14. pegoleg / Jan 21 2016 12:20 pm

    Congratulations on the latest addition to the family! I’m sure you will all be very happy…especially Ella.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 21 2016 1:35 pm

      Ella is thrilled. She’s shadowing The German at their realm. RC is quite sure there are no vacancies here – but we are more than welcome to visit them there: “and feel free to take the Molly Maybe let Molly spend a few days? No?” Cats. Always thinking. Thanks for pawsing to chat

      Like

  15. heretherebespiders / Jan 21 2016 2:00 pm

    Yay!!!!

    And – relating to a recent comment – I LOVED Mad! I still have a bunch of them from the 70’s!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 21 2016 6:28 pm

      It’s a bark-a-thon! Paws gone wild.
      It’s must be the Mad magazine brand of insanity. (Those were soooo great. Jealous you have some of the old ones!) Thanks for fielding a comment

      Liked by 1 person

  16. marthaschaefer / Jan 22 2016 8:43 am

    congrats to Ms. Ella and the German! Sounds like a lovely pack and hope Molly can visit soon. I keep thinking of adopting/rescuing another for Alice…then the “cousins” show up and I am reminded of all those dirty feet!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 22 2016 10:24 am

      The thing about many feet is the mud and all that furniture moving when playing inside. To large dogs at play, furniture does not say loudly enough “Go around, not through.” Their yard is dryer than this one, so we’ll try it first there or maybe a large field that is neutral territory and big enough to run in.The German is thrilled having a companion – and one that looks up to her. Molly just says “What? Staff’s alway’s around and I don’t have to share with Staff.” HA HA. Thanks for trotting over a comment

      Liked by 1 person

  17. jmmcdowell / Jan 26 2016 4:42 pm

    So glad to hear that Ella and the German are a perfect match! May Ella’s memories of bad times soon slip away!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 26 2016 7:10 pm

      Sounds like the two are keeping busy with fun and games like tug the rolled up rug around the house. It’s good to have friends – so you can point to the other one when they ask, “Who did this?” HA HA. Hope you’ve been able to stay home while things get scooped/thawed out a bit. Good time not to have a dog.Thanks for applauding the duo.

      Like

  18. EllaDee / Feb 4 2016 11:31 pm

    Of course Ella got the gig… bearing my borrowed name she’s certain to be a star! Ella the Bella.
    Well done PMOTH et al 🙂
    We, who aren’t yet completely settled and are going off travelling fight the urges and temptation to add fur-ones to our household… cute kittens next door, Soossie’s babies (who is going to the vet for her op next week) and a G.O. who now back home has been saying… when we get a dog…!

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Feb 5 2016 7:02 am

      Apparently Ella is pleased as punch and gaining confidence…wanting the German to play wildly. The German, we hear is now looking at Person asking “What? I thought she was just visiting.” But she does seem to like the company…just a young dog as so much energy!
      Sorting and settling takes a bit. A snug house – all that’s left is a dog and a cat…which are probably meeting and rolling dice to see which one shows up on your doorstep. Headed your way soon (after dog walk – sun!) Have a great weekend. Thanks for stopping by to bark along.

      Like

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