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October 7, 2015 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Imminent threats. Cautionary tales

Whirled affairs are always a concern.

We have seen the sighs.

Holler-ring draws near.

ALL rights reserved to this cat glowering. NO permissions granted. Copyrighted Holler-Ring cat.

See our glower and tremble!©

Last year the unfortunates were desperately fleeing Chick-among-us. Once again refugees have been falling into the Realms.

We have heard rumors of Seriousians, a mob who will not listen except to themselves, looking to be outraged, and are humorless. Sounds like a blustering bunch constantly airing discord. Let’s hope reverse migrate occurs quickly. Political types cause more problems than they solve.

A family of fall scarecrows (NO permissions granted) as yard decorations. ALL rights reserved. Copy righted

It’s their unblinking stare that is worrisome…©

Canine reconnoissance has located some brazen advanced scouts trying sneaky infiltration by Trojan Beagle.

Not used to the role, their chosen snoop is a bit stiff. Even The Molly is not fooled and greets the faker with a snarl.

NO permissions Snoopy asleep on grinning Halloween pumpkin. ALL rights reserved. Copyrighted

A chick AND a Snoop! Coordinated invasion efforts this year?©

The first wave of refugees are smiling, accompanied by children, and showing poor housekeeping skills.

At night their temporary housing glows with warmth and joy. Yurts. Of course. Yurt! Not just a name for a turtle, but a happy portable home!

The camps may be a bit too happy at night.  Each morning their tents of frivolity become lumps easily mistaken for discarded laundry. No consideration in return at all for the hospitality offered by those Realms.

If one is too groggy to deal with ordinary morning duties, one should moderate nighttime behavior.

When roaming from home, don’t do as the Romans:  don’t leave pillars or friezes carelessly tossed everywhere.

They are still trying to get that place picked up. One must learn from history.

Pumpkin's flat on his face. Feeling deflated. NO permissions granted. ALL rights reserved. Copy righted

His blustering may pump him up at night, but during the day, he’s a flat-out mess.©

As of now, all seems to be peaceful, but We shall not let down Our defenses.

Even as We speak, this is a time of too many ding-dongs and hard knocks by strangers doing this and that repairs in the Realm.

With much annoyance We have relocated Our Chair of Glower to the office bunker where activity of the Realm can be conducted with dignity from a safe location thus assuring residents of complete control even when chaos hammers around Us.

It was either move Our Chair of Glower or sit on the printer…which is warm, but the unexpected sporadic shaking cannot be good for One’s blood pressure or clawdicure.

Not to mention the smooth finish of said printer which, oddly, is not equipped with paw grips as a normal amusement ride would be.

Staff probably bought the cheap model. One speed. And it rattles.

Multiple purpose machines rarely do any one task well. Now this printer, for example.

While it does actually sound a bit like saber-rattling when in action which might come in useful on occasion if staff does not impress to workmen it is important to finish their work promptly and clear out immediately  where is the remote? So much more useful if We could operate it from Our Chair of Glower. For emphasis. Only emphasis. All the world power leaders use this technique.

The printer shoves across the desk easy enough, but as a duster, it leaves something to be desired.

We Shall demonstrate.

Oh.

Did the instruction mention the printer can double as a hockey puck? Trash can grabbed it on the way to the floor. Points should be awarded for that. Staff will be amazed. They never read all the instructions, thus never know the full potential of things.

Yes, We know. We do Our best.

Delighted to have some distraction from the loud bang-bangs, but We must say adieu.

The paw is waving…a tired exhausted wave.

RC Cat presiding in her Chair of Glower. NO permissions granted. ALL rights reserved. Copyrighted

Out of friendship We are not glowering at full strength as it is simply too powerful and might overwhelm you if exposed for too long. ©

Out of consideration, We shall allow you to leave tributes of open cans of cat food here: at the foot of Our Chair of Glower. 

Such favor shown to you is overwhelming, We realize.

In addition, We shall allow you to take the printer’s instruction manual so it may be studied. Perhaps next time We shall play a game of printer hockey.

Yes, Yes. Delightful idea.

Our audience is over. Fini. Permission to withdraw.

We have memos to write, specks of dust to examine, and printers to ride.

Staff! The paw is tired of waving. Assist this awestruck individual to the door.

Adieu, mon chere

I am RC Cat and I approve this message

crown

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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28 Comments

  1. easyweimaraner / Oct 7 2015 1:26 pm

    I can’t sit on a printer, but I would like a rattling one…it’s like such a ratting thingy what my momma once bought to fit in her Suzie Q. Memorial Pants…. butt it didn’t work… the pants bursted anyway and the rattler was sold via small ads :o)

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 8 2015 2:41 pm

      RC Cat: “Easy, Molly is all up for a game of printer soccer with you. She said she can move the furniture in the living room over a bit so there’ll be plenty of room. Such sport would amuse us greatly. We shall have Our people contact your people to arrange a time. A cheery paw wave for such a thrilling suggestion.”

      Like

  2. sportsattitudes / Oct 7 2015 1:45 pm

    “It was either move Our Chair of Glower or sit on the printer…which is warm, but the unexpected sporadic shaking cannot be good for One’s blood pressure or clawdicure.” – I laughed out loud. Our printer is also warm when in operation…a small yet sturdy beast. It does a wonderful job but it also likes to “play” by always self-cleaning at the exact moment you have taken a phone call near it. And you can’t maintain any phone conversation until it decides it is clean. It may also be the printer is flat-out jealous of the phone but I can’t prove it…the printer doesn’t appear to have a function whereby I can ask it…checking the owner’s manual now…

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 7 2015 4:06 pm

      RC Cat: “We have often wondered if the printer feels it is a kindness to rattle loudly as an excuse for staff to get off the phone. It does seem to happen too often to be coincidental.We must keep a closer eye on that. We offer a fine salute for alerting us to that possibility.”

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Kate Crimmins / Oct 7 2015 1:52 pm

    In our recent kitchen project Morgan (our youngest cat) supervised from the middle of everything. While the other cats retreated to nap in a more quiet area, Morgan kept up the commentary on everything that was going on. Too light, too dark, not even, is it lunch yet?

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 7 2015 4:03 pm

      RC Cat :”Morgan knew someone must keep a stern eye on things. No doubt the other cats were silently listening to the commentary in case their intervention was needed…or dinner was served. A cheery paw wave to you and your realm!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Paul / Oct 7 2015 2:00 pm

    Ummm, and fridges are also large massaging devices. We had cats that would sit on top of the fridge and would object to sharing that space with anything else. Anything placed on top of the fridge would end up on the floor. And the cats would smile.

    Leaving open tins of tuna at the foot of the chair of Glower.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 7 2015 4:01 pm

      RC Cat: Lovely thought. Horizontal freezers also offer such wide open spaces. Room the stretch out. We had to get rid of one as Staff foolishly thought it was a location to fold laundry. We did not object to the warm clothing – just the folding and moving of Us over. Oh, tuna! Mercury and dolphin free, we see. Such a delightful visitor. A soft cheek pat for your kind gift.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Unconfirmed Bachelorette / Oct 7 2015 4:58 pm

    The Chair of Glower suits you, RC, magnificent feline that you are. I leave cans of tuna and mousies at your paws.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 8 2015 2:55 pm

      RC Cat. “We warmly bask in your astute observations and kind offerings. Sigh. If only Staff was so attentive. A soft cheek pat in honor of your graciousness.”

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Carrie Rubin / Oct 7 2015 5:02 pm

    A Chair of Glower–Ha, I should’ve had one of those when my kids were younger. Probably won’t work on them now as teens. Luckily they turned out okay anyway. Phew.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 8 2015 3:09 pm

      RC Cat: Some dunderheads misname such a chair as a Seat of Power. This ancient one was imported – from the Chicago’s World Fair- and floated down the Mississippi River during delivery. Obviously the company must have hired an umbrella holder to protect it during the journey. That one probably glowered at anyone who came near it in order to protect it as it travel. We find it quite comfy. Yes, it is designed for a little princess….so perfect, yes? Boys thought, tend to be dusty – not suitable for boys as all. You realized that by instinct. A grand paw wave in honor of your fine judgement.”

      Liked by 1 person

      • Carrie Rubin / Oct 8 2015 4:25 pm

        “A grand paw wave”–I’ll certainly take that! Coming from you, RC Cat, I feel very special now. 🙂

        Like

        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 9 2015 1:46 pm

          RC Cat: “Of course you do, my dear. Humans are so easily amused. And it cost Us nothing. Win-win. Enjoy the weekend frivolities. A slight head nod in friendship so as not to overwhelm.”

          Liked by 1 person

        • Carrie Rubin / Oct 9 2015 1:54 pm

          🙂

          Like

  7. heretherebespiders / Oct 7 2015 8:52 pm

    I think that fine ruff adds to the glower. Which I know is a real word – as do you – but somehow turns into flower three times. Totally inappropriate. I have glowerd it into submission however (glowered turns up no autocorrections, go figure).
    I do rather love the Snoopy on the pumpkin. But you know I’m a mad Halloweenie!

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 8 2015 3:21 pm

      RC Cat. “There is little more elegant than a full ruff brushed to extreme fluff. Even human queen have realized and utilized the ruff with glower. We do find the local holidays amusing. The Molly reports sightings of yards who have managed to tether and train many many orange fireflies into lines between trees and encouraged them to sit on arches. Quite festive. We shall order pictures. Do not fret over a touch of madness as it is part of genius. No need to howl or scream over it. An encouraging paw wave to you!”

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Ally Bean / Oct 8 2015 8:03 pm

    The Chair of Glower suits RC Cat. Much more regal and sturdy than any old printer. I always find it heartwarming when a piece of furniture finds its rightful place in this world. In this case, under RC Cat.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 9 2015 1:51 pm

      RC Cat: “We have no doubt this chair was much worried when it left the Chicago World’s Fair and was floating down the Mississippi River. It is a chair for a little princess and We shall keep it warm – so the magic doesn’t leave – until the next one appears. The printer may shake up fonts, but the chair fluffs dreams. We graciously offer a soft cheek pat for your kind comment.”

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Jay E. / Oct 9 2015 1:44 am

    Where might the Chair of Glower be in relation to the Sofa of Snark?

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 9 2015 1:57 pm

      RC Cat: “We demanded Our Chair of Glower be removed to sanctuary far from the dust raisers, the bang-bang producers, and the roaring shop vac. Just too disturbing for any creature or ancient object. We suggested Staff also cart in the rest of the Ours-on-Occasion-as-it-Pleases-Us Couch, but the printer takes up all the room. We suspect Staff is sneaking in and sitting in places that belong to Us and Us alone. Humans are not to be trusted. A grand paw wave for your obvious concern for Our things. It touches Us.”

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Aquileana / Oct 9 2015 10:08 am

    When roaming from home, don’t do as the Romans: don’t leave pillars or friezes carelessly tossed everywhere.

    They are still trying to get that place picked up. One must learn from history….

    Those words truly resonated with me….
    I appreciate that you brought to us political issues of huge importance… In a global scale…
    Oh… and that chair is perfect for a King Cat… Nice one…
    Sending best wishes. Aquileana 🐉☀️

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 9 2015 2:01 pm

      RC Cat: “Many read, but few see. Staff is grateful for your graciousness. And We, too, applaud your appreciation of Our ancient Chair of Glower. We feel it is especially wonderful in a sunny room…or on a rainy day…or at night. A regal paw salute for you!”

      Liked by 1 person

  11. EllaDee / Oct 10 2015 7:39 am

    Should you get bored with the printer try the microwave… my much-missed Baddy Cat insisted it amused her muchly to watch it do its twirly thing. She also insisted it was unnecessary to share chairs… something about what’s mine is mine and what’s yours mine… probably makes sense in feline…

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 12 2015 8:13 pm

      RC Cat: “You have a cat approved entertaining carousel in a box. How considerate. We, Ourselves, have the button sequence memorized so We know exactly how fast to saunter to the table in time for a warm meal.”
      (Staff: Do not ask. I did not start with the warm cat food. Other Staff insists HRH would eat the current selection only if warm…so now every time…)
      RC Cat: “Yes, Yes, some may share car pools, but there shall be no cat share of chair. A gracious paw wave to your Realm”

      Like

  12. jannatwrites / Oct 11 2015 5:46 pm

    I like the chair of glower and the cat’s perspective on the crazy human stuff… we just don’t make sense 🙂

    Like

  13. jmmcdowell / Oct 14 2015 7:12 pm

    A Chair of Glower would be helpful in the workplace, too, when distractions become too numerous. And as Holler-ring approaches, I wonder if we’ll be able to stock enough treats to keep the tricks away. I’m afraid the visitors may top three digits!

    Like

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