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August 14, 2015 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Caffeine and the slow life

woman with cup.(1895 Sarah Bernhart lithograph/US, photo reprod of PD art/

Java, not jitters.(1895Bernhart/US PD/

Addicts are unreasonable and dangerous.

Nothing will get in their way. They will reduce themselves to begging without shame. Perfectly willing to smash and shatter. They don’t care who they hurt.

Will the Food and Drug Administration finally force Starbucks to post warning signs and put caution labels on coffee cups?

Maybe if he is removed far far from that enticing fragrance of fresh ground coffee, there might be hope. He might even find himself able to open a savings account.

But society should be greatly concerned.

Where on earth can he go and not encounter Starbucks once he’s out of recovery?

Failure pouring on every corner.

glass on table at Starbucks (screenshot

The calm of this cozy caffeine corner shattered.(

Advocates of the slow and simple lifestyle insist it dissolves jitters and irritable behavior.

There are those who insist you see more when life crawls along. And they get pretty mad when someone tries to make a buck off of them because of it.

Gracie got confused by her recent relocation and didn’t move fast enough to stay out of the reach of a man who had devious plans for her.

Things looked grim from inside the duffel bag. Ransom was demanded.

Fortunately, she has a true friend who fought for her release and in the process got a very bad guy off the streets.

Gracie’s trendy: a natural advocate for slow motion and living in a tiny house. Luckily, she’s got a friend who aims to see she gets a chance to do just that.

Large tortoise. (

Wait! I’m coming. Just had to get my nails done.(

Supposedly a simple life in the slow lane is the coolest plan for dissolving jitters and irritability.

But try and tell that to Starbucks addicts aficionados.

Standing in lines long, waiting to ramble off a whole list of instructions to the barista while texting continuously, they simply shrug and respond “Hey, it’s available iced.”

As long as the coffee heads don’t mistake the tortoise for a table, they’ll be OK.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

Gathering of animals on a patio1912 Hare and Tortoise. Aesop's Fables. Ballantyne and Co.London/ illustr. Rackham 1867-1939/USPD:,artist life /

There’s always such a line when school’s out. Go get us a table – just not one by the window.(1912Aesop/USPD/







  1. easyweimaraner / Aug 14 2015 1:04 pm

    guess what? I never had a starbucks coffee… that’s a little embarrassing, I know, but the next is more than 100 km away… and it seems it is not really worth the long journey :o)

    Liked by 2 people

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Aug 14 2015 1:15 pm

      More and more of the local coffee houses are disappearing which makes us sad. (Although I am not going into the local one just down the block with the monkeys swinging around wildly…maybe cute, but not a fan of monkeys where I eat…and the dogs are on the patio – not the tables.)
      100 km away? Far too many interesting things to nose around and do before ever getting to that location….stuff much less fattening probably. Thanks for driving by to chat!


  2. Carrie Rubin / Aug 14 2015 1:10 pm

    Whenever we travel somewhere, the Starbucks is the first thing my husband looks for. Being a tea drinker, I can take the place or leave it. Their Earl Grey is kind of yucky. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Aug 14 2015 1:38 pm

      ASking for tea at Starbucks is sort of like ordering shrimp at a steak place (Mom always frowned on that.) Have to admit we’ve always had that Starbucks locator app – but if you look at the calorie content of those yummy drinks…well, back to black coffee. Thanks for taking time to add a robust full leaf comment

      Liked by 1 person

  3. shoreacres / Aug 14 2015 1:21 pm

    Monkeys? What? But here’s what stopped me cold, even as I finish drinking my (home-brewed) coffee: a sex offender and a tortoise? What was that man up to? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Aug 14 2015 1:53 pm

      Nothing is safe! Even the hard shelled are at risk! I might have been prodded to walk to our old Starbucks before they moved down the way to build the drive-thru one, but not going to amble down to become eyeball to eyeball with one in the coffee Emporium that opened up in the old spot. Seriously, Get another gimmick…and get a table or two under that gazebo…those chairs all in a ring make me think of elementary school)
      Just one of those days where stories too odd to ignore show up. Old timers always said august heat drives people mad…may be true. Thanks for sipping along


  4. Paul / Aug 14 2015 1:27 pm

    You know most coffee shops have those big windows out front so customers can see the world – and they are such big targets. We have Starbucks here but the biggest coffee chain is a home grown Tim Hortons started by beloved Canadian Hockey player Tin Horton. There are thousands (literally) of them and they are regularly being hit or windows run through. You would think they would get safety glass installed in front. Here’s the most recent in coffee mania vehicular incidents at a Timmies Talk about caffeine jitters! Sometimes it’s one hockeyt player checking another (Tim’s)

    They tried hiding their Tim Horton’s in an office building and this lady still found it :

    As coffee addicts we have a lot of attacks on our coffee shops – note that all the above occurred within about a 4 week period – a slow period with only 4 occurrences. Ha!

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Aug 14 2015 1:55 pm

      See- it’s happening there, too. Coffee fumes so strong the vehicles are getting addicted.What is driving all this? Thanks for carefully steering in a full roasted comment

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Kate Crimmins / Aug 14 2015 1:28 pm

    There is something magical in a Starbucks mocha latte for me. I know it’s chocolate but it’s a more refined way of eating chocolate at 7 a.m. My husband yells to me as I am leaving to get my daily fix, “Be sure to bring back Happy Kate!”

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Spinster / Aug 14 2015 2:10 pm

    Starbucks is NOT that serious. 😐 And kudos to whoever saved the tortoise.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Aug 14 2015 5:44 pm

      Any place that offers caffeine, chocolate, and sugar is allowed to be quirky at times. Thanks for joining the comment crawl

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Erik / Aug 14 2015 6:41 pm

    I love the smell of coffee and the warmth of the cup at times and the mood. But, alas, I can’t handle caffeine.

    Phil, I always enjoy how you see the world, the connections you make. And your voice, once again, shines here. You somehow even manage to use anastrophe in flow without sounding stilted.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Aug 14 2015 11:20 pm

      Sniffs at Starbucks coffee places are much less fattening than some of the beverages which can count as desserts. Always a grand parade going on there. Much more fun sightseeing there in winter…a bit rambunctious with all the kids.Thanks for stopping by to check out the scene.


  8. Ally Bean / Aug 14 2015 9:27 pm

    I’ve only used the drive-thru window at Star$ when traveling. At home, IF I go there I always wander inside to see what the locals are up to. Considering that they’re all glued to their screens, it’s a delightful way to be nosy without being noticed. I feel like Harriet the Spy when I’m there.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Aug 14 2015 11:06 pm

      Harriet the Spy – that’s hilarous. There’s the start of a novel for sure.
      You are so right. People there are so absorbed in their screens, they might as well be on a desert island…except the chairs are nicer along with the aroma, ambience, and of course, the coffee and snacks.
      Drive thrus are so welcomed during forced marched long distance drives. Thanks for serving up a delicious comment


  9. EllaDee / Aug 14 2015 9:56 pm

    Just the thought of going anywhere near a lite decaf soy vanilla caramel mocha latte gives me the horrors… except many years ago when I was in LA, and needed coffee, Starbucks was there for me… I think and move slower than Gracie the tortoise until I’ve had my fix.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Aug 14 2015 11:25 pm

      There was one job that was only made bearable because of the Starbucks around the corner. It was a nose to the grindstone oppressive windowless place, but for some reason it was allowed to hike a few blocks outdoors – under trees..past the construction to fetch Starbucks. Needed the whole experience and the caffeine to survive the grimness. Now I just count one of the fancy drinks as dessert for the day when I get other than a nice black coffee (which seems dumb with the heat) Ah, a few more seeks and cool cometh…at least 80’s. Thanks for pouring up a warm comment


  10. Piper Bayard / Aug 15 2015 1:14 am

    LOL. Makes me glad I restricted my addictions so that they don’t include coffee. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Jay E. / Aug 15 2015 1:59 pm

    I am a coffee addict. Every Christmas, my students have plied me with enough coffee to last a year or more. I haven’t needed to buy my own coffee in four years. That’s hasn’t stopped me from buying coffee I wanted, but I didn’t need to buy it. I like to say

    I gave up on blood and had a coffee transfusion.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Aug 17 2015 3:58 pm

      Nothing like those Starbuck gift cards – they are never returned for something else and never sit unused in the drawer. Real luxury is buying something you just want now….and everyone needs to do that at one time or another.. (Why do they call coffee sludgy? It doesn’t make people sluggish at all) Thanks for stirring in a comment (And happy hallways shortly)

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Kourtney Heintz / Aug 16 2015 1:37 am

    I can’t start the day without coffee. I’ve made it clear there will be no conversation before breakfast. 🙂


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Aug 17 2015 4:06 pm

      That’s a habit I’ve gained lately…luckily Molly’s not a morning person and is willing to go in slow motion until I can get thing sorted and the leash out. Thanks for pouring up a comment.


  13. Sun / Aug 16 2015 10:04 pm

    it’s so sad about those panhandlers…especially the ones that get too carried away. it must have been the strong coffee aroma that did that fellow in. love that last illustration, not by the window!! ha-ha!!!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Aug 17 2015 4:22 pm

      Motivation? Not being given free coffee (There’s a place within walking distance where he would have been handed some) or irritation of being ignored, or annoyed he isn’t given what he thinks he should be given, or just not thinking. Sad in any case. Panhandlers (some here are not homeless but live in apts. paid for by their daily job of panhandling) and the truly homeless are something I’m not hearing any candidates for Presidency talk about. More than just jobs needed.
      Sitting down for coffee shouldn’t be considered a combat experience. (But some of those coffee drinkers are quite irritable before the first cup…not letting them cut in line though. Elbows and scowls – the gentle persuaders? Thanks for stopping by to stare in the windows here

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sun / Aug 27 2015 1:47 am

        what?!? panhandling to pay the bills?? wow. just wow.


  14. Cynthia Reyes / Aug 17 2015 3:29 pm

    It’s not the coffee that I’m addicted to. It’s the smell. It reminds me of coffee brewing on the stove in my grandmother’s kitchen in Jamaica. (The coffee beans came from nearby.) Now, the day doesn’t feel quite right without that coffee smell first thing in the morning.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Erik / Aug 17 2015 3:51 pm

      Totally get this. I’m with you.

      Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Aug 17 2015 4:55 pm

      Seriously fresh roasted beans and coffee on the stove – now that’s a morning memory worth waking up slowly to. Small things can start the day off right. Thanks for serving up a comment

      Liked by 1 person

  15. heretherebespiders / Aug 18 2015 9:41 pm

    Had Starbucks once – in London! Can’t recall if I liked it. I was probably in shock from all the options. I’ll stick with my non-violent home brew! It’s not like I have a choice around here anyway.


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