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July 13, 2015 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Gators gathering shark advice.

walking gator, South Carolina.(Gareth Rasberry/

Pardon me. You said third door on the left? (Rasberry/

Don’t drink and dive with gators.

Gators know people stupidly think no one will notice an addition of warm yellow water in a swamp.  Seriously, anyone would get testy if that happened in their living room. Probably snap at the fool, too.

Golden Retriever in water/Scot Beckner/Flickr/

You say, “Fetch.”
Gators say, “Dinner.” (Beckner/Flickr/

Resist asking gators to participate in object retrieval games in water.

Being budget travelers, gators get confused and think it’s room service.

Forget inviting these introverts to block parties.

Social situations too stressful.

The shy ones may make an appearance, then try and grab a few a few snacks and carry them off.

Racks of kayaks outside a store/ No permissions granted/all rights reserved/copyrighted.

Hey look! Appetizer trays for gator gatherings.

Recently sharks have made it clear that they are sick of annual summer intruders, perhaps gators are snapping, too.

Just never know what’s behind a smile

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

Dachshund leaping over log/Dan Bennett/Flickr/

“Mom, that log moved. Called me an hors d’oeuvre. Reel me in. Leash alert!” (Bennett/

Gator paparazzi:

  • “Blind gator caught in Ft. Worth’s Trinity River”/park (CBS/DFW local). Too blind to know he was near people and should hide, he wasn’t hurting anyone – even at 10 feet long. Probably washed down by spring floods. Paddle boarders and kayakers were maneuvering around him, but sooner or later the Tx Parks and Wildlife people knew someone would start tossing chickens at him. “There’s alligators probably through here all the time,” he said, pointing to the Trinity River. ‘You’d never know they were here. ‘Cause they don’t want you know. they don’t want nothing to do with you, they’re swimming on by.’ ”
    “Once on land the gator he captured was pretty well-mannered. ‘He never hissed, he never growled; once we got him up on the bank and tape off, he was just as nice and docile as an alligator can be.’ ” This lucky gator was released into the wild in location far from people.
  • “Gator kills man swimming in marina bayou”. (Video) Drunk wouldn’t listen – not to people or posted signs. First fatal alligator attack in over 90 years here. A friend hunted down the 11 1/2 foot gator and killed it. Game wardens are not going to press charges.
  • “Son and father survive alligator attack in Chambers Co.” (Video) Family decides to swim in a swampy area. A desperate struggle.
Marina No swimming Alligator sign.( screenshot)

Gators, belonging to an ancient order, aren’t interested in diversity in their exclusive swamp country clubs. So sue them, but wouldn’t advise pursuing them.(





  1. Carrie Rubin / Jul 13 2015 1:22 pm

    I’m totally content with leaving those gators alone. Just another little life rule I live by. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 13 2015 1:50 pm

      Live and let live works so well. (Along with avoid interrupting a sleeping gator) Thanks for splashing down here with a comment

      Liked by 2 people

  2. easyweimaraner / Jul 13 2015 1:27 pm

    I never would come near that guys… but at least it has something to wear a big gator on your head instead a small one on a polo shirt :o).. or ist that overdone? :o)


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 13 2015 1:52 pm

      Gator hats! Perfect…as long as the other gator doesn’t think you the blind date? Tail slapping good comment, Easy. Thanks


  3. Beth / Jul 13 2015 1:36 pm

    I still remember the post from some time back of the gator on someone’s doorstep. “Knock, Knock, Candy Gram!” Glad the one was relocated without incident.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 13 2015 1:56 pm

      Apparently there’s a large wetlands/gator lands along the Trinity River a bit north of there. They knew some of their gators had washed down with all the flooding, but none of them had called home for a ride back. Paddle boarders were a lot braver than I would have been. Trying to out paddle a gator might be a losing game. Thanks for floating a comment this way

      Liked by 1 person

  4. susielindau / Jul 13 2015 3:16 pm

    When we were in New Orleans, I wouldn’t stick my big toe in the marshy water…

    Liked by 2 people

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 13 2015 3:57 pm

      LIved there a bit (in an enclave where movies were sometimes shot for the scenery…) NOLA has the oddest bugs and who knows what is lurking in that murk…there’s Mafia there…


  5. Littlesundog / Jul 13 2015 4:16 pm

    I have had some interesting gator encounters while visiting family in the Baton Rouge and New Orleans areas. I used to watch some of the young fellas wrestle little gators at a “swamp camp”… took us nearly an hour to get out there and was it ever eerie! Gators were lurking everywhere… right up to camp!! I’ve also done some canoeing in the swamps and bayou’s, feeling highly stressed and panicked. i don’t do those types of ventures anymore. Older and wiser, I no longer feel the need to scare the hell out of myself! Ha ha!

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 13 2015 4:26 pm

      In Orange,TX (near Louisiana border) where the man jumped in the swap and met massive gator) the residents say everyone knew that gator was there. Gators frequently sun themselves on yards by the bayou – 2-3 foot ones. I’m afraid that’s won’t work for my neighborhood environment. I’ll take my chances with raccoons, skunks, cougars and even mountain goats instead.Thanks for cautiously swimming by with a comment

      Liked by 1 person

  6. pegoleg / Jul 13 2015 7:18 pm

    I like the “No Swimming Alligators” sign, but doubt it will be too effective – alligators can’t read, can they?


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 13 2015 8:18 pm

      Like the way you snapped to that! (Maybe this one was simply floating, dog paddling along trolling for humans, or it’s only for sleeping gators, no lie?) Glad you tossing in a comment


  7. marthaschaefer / Jul 13 2015 8:53 pm

    Gaters? Sharks? I worry about upsetting the snapping turtles and water snakes when I kayak. Maybe humans should stay out of the water all together!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 13 2015 9:00 pm

      Either humans or critters have seen waaay too much tv with “Shark Week” type programing. Water fights should only be with water balloons/water hoses – not species vs species! Are we doomed to go back to metal boats – with defensive canons? Not sure landlubbers will have it any better if this trend spreads….Thanks for risking a comment

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Roxie / Jul 13 2015 9:01 pm

    my favorite sign ever! no swimming alligators!
    love to get my giggles with your writing, thanks, Phil!

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 13 2015 9:05 pm

      I guess local regulations require them to float or walk. No wonder people keep mistaking them for log bridges. Thanks for stirring up these waters

      Liked by 1 person

      • Roxie / Jul 13 2015 9:07 pm

        I was in Florida, crossed a “meadow” to folks waving on the other side. Turns out they were warning me out of the swampy area due to gators! Needless to say, I took another route back.


        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 13 2015 9:12 pm

          See now there’s the dangerous thing about language and local terms…
          (That is funny really…that certainly deserves a spot in a plot…..)


          • Roxie / Jul 13 2015 9:35 pm

            hahaha! you’re exactly right, local language here: people waving isn’t cause we’re friendly, we’re shooing away the gnats! least that’s what we tell northern folk, lol.

            Liked by 1 person

  9. JunkChuck / Jul 14 2015 1:56 am

    One more reason to avoid the south–prehistoric monster reptiles, illegal alien giant snakes, fire ants, water mocs and gods know what other poisonous snakes, africanized bees, Toby Keith, and Lindsay Graham (why don’t those two just get a room?–all that sexual tension is worse than an episode of The Bachelor)–and don’t even get me started on the yahoos like those Duck Duck Goose guys and their ilk. Humbug. All I need to worry about in Pennsylvania is…well…the same damned yahoos.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 14 2015 6:20 pm

      Yep, all that’s why here in the SW we’re tempted to close our northern/eastern borders…but they’ve been opened so long we’d be accused of breaking up families and the like. Even if we did it, we’d still have to deal with the scorpions, cow ticks, poison ivy, and those who have withdrawn from society and refuse to have anything to do with it or all the new fangled ideas – isolationists – rollin’ along in wagons. Well, stitch my quilt, have an inkling them’s done dug in up thar, too. Shucks.Guess better set take things as they come and enjoy the breeze…what there is of it…it’s summer. Thanks for bitin’ off a comment to leave.


  10. jmmcdowell / Jul 14 2015 7:01 pm

    I can’t imagine why anyone would willingly set foot in a swamp, let alone swim in one! I’ll leave the watery habitats to those that live there and admire them from a safe distance.

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 14 2015 11:04 pm

      There is a thing about carrying macho to far to the extreme. I think the guy landed on the sleeping gator. No way would I slosh around a swamp with moss hanging over head…too much like a horror story. Yeah, I’ll join you at the zoo exhibits. Thanks for admiring the scale of things


  11. shoreacres / Jul 14 2015 11:03 pm

    So, I’m working along at Portofino Marina this morning about 7:30. I feel someone looking at me. I glance up, and see his eyes: intent, curious, three feet off the stern of the boat in about 10′ of water. Yeppers. It was a 6′ gator, just out for a morning cruise.

    Of course i didn’t have my camera, thogh a couple of other people got pics. He’s been around for a while, according to reports, but he was being social this morning. Eventually, he surfaced and glided from one fairway to another. Eventually, he pulled up under some dock pilings, and probably spent the rest of the hot hours there.

    I’ll be ready for him tomorrow. I’ve never seen one willing to completely surface and swim in a marina. That sinuous motion is so lovely. But I’m not dangling my feet in the water.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 14 2015 11:11 pm

      Gators are oddly mesmerizing – their swimming and their ancient history. Whew, glad that one didn’t feel like taking a leap (it’s too hot for anything to jump right now). My cousin on the other side of the lake has gators pull up on their grass/dock for naps. I always worried about her big dog chained close to the house, but his barking seemed to irritate gators enough to go to more quiet yards. We’re all looking for shade right now (up earlier and earlier to walk in the morning.)
      And if anything drops into the water, leave it! (Hope you get a picture of him tomorrow – suddenly realizing you are close to those eyes -and that grin is pretty unsettling.) Thanks for sanding up a comment to leave.


  12. heretherebespiders / Jul 15 2015 10:05 pm

    Why is it that I’m always cheering for the ‘gator in these stories? Am I evil?


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 15 2015 11:00 pm

      Actually, the gator was minding his own business and probably asleep when this yahoo landed on him. And who couldn’t cheer for the blind gator? The ancient ones don’t wander up and crash into your living room. A place for everything and everything in it’s place. Works for me. Thanks for being a gator fan.

      Liked by 1 person

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