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June 22, 2015 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Wool pulled over eyes

Good intentions ripped away.

Forget “Welcome” or even “Good buy”. Totally jerked out from under foot.

Now a suspicious attempt to pull the wool over my eyes?

No permissions granted. All rights reserved. Copyrighted.

Fringe ideas can cause trouble ©

They stood like teenagers in front of parents who had unexpected returned home early to find chaos in the house and kids scrambling frantically over fences and through flowerbeds.

Only they, The German and Molly Malamute, couldn’t manage the lock on the door fast enough.

Trapped at the seam of the grime.

“Well,” called the Realm’s RC Cat as she smugly retreated with carefully paced regal steps, “what did you expect?

Leaving Half Staff in charge while you hop off to enjoy the Dumping of Tea and The Night of the One Two Lanterns.

Knowing full well, that Half Staff is only half trained – marginally prepared. Luckily for Ourselves, the half he did learn is Our half.

The canine corralling? Remedial work obviously required.

We have heard Half Staff referred to as “Better Half”, but after this fiasco, some rethinking might be in order with that.

We shall leave you to it.”

The German shifted uneasily. “I was framed.”

“Hard to frame when there’s proof in the poop, ” Molly snapped.

“Just FYI, there was a scrap of evidence discovered under the couch,” a smooth voice of purrpose called down the hall.

“We doubt it wove its’ own way there. Perhaps someone tried to chase down the ripped culprit, but became infatuated with a game of tag and tug?

Succumbed to a previous addiction, perhaps.

Dogs abandoned to their own vices. No Doggy Manager redirecting, redirecting, redirecting. No tossing of tennis balls. No frantic offering of Greenies as distraction.

Can’t punish the little ones if the Doggy Nanny ignores responsibilities and flies off, no? Consequences for actions, yes?”

The sound of a car caused The German to rush to the door with “Oh, my ride is here. Appreciate missing the hostilities the hospitality and camaraderie.”

No permission granted. Colonial patriots. All rights reserved

“I hear we must guard our coats from moths and someone named Molly. ©

Leaving Molly standing alone. Eyes a little uncertain.

“We could not help it.  We were sitting waiting at the door alone. Half Staff had to go places and we were alooooooone. There was thunder. You know how The German hates thunder.

The bedspread rug folded into our mouths offering comfort. Sacrificing itself. It knew you’d approve. Better than this suffered being pierced, by tooth.”

“I hardly ate anything while you were gone. Food, I mean. 

Felt so abandoned that RC allowed me to seek solace within inches of her Royal Self in her Inner Sanctuary.

She kindly taught me a popular Cat Zen mantra: “Fishy Stink. Fishy Stink.”

RC said if concentration was intense enough Staff would remember that after three days fish and visitors should leave. But then it would have been even more lonely without The German, so I just pretended to chant. Please don’t tell.”

“We knew you were faking it! It’s like the Great Pumpkin. You must believe,” RC Cat snarled.

“We are losing patience. If this little confession session is complete, We would like Our dinner. Then Staff may tell Us about adventures experienced and show photos for Our amusement.

Half Staff mentioned Staff hobbled on cobbles. Stomping on shoemakers is not the way to win friends and influence people. Cordwainers may have unions and wealthy patrons, you know.

Sigh. So much retraining to do. “

Dog Daze of Summer already.

A new doormat may not be necessary, but hope the bedspread lasts the season.

May have to go undercover to get to the bottom of things.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

all rights reserved, NO permissions granted for this dog image. Copyrighted

“There she is. Should we make a break for it or go with blaming the cat?”©

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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39 Comments

  1. PigLove / Jun 22 2015 12:56 pm

    Shakes piggy head. I have one word my friends – BUSTED. I foresee lots of sucking up to get out of doggy jail with that. XOXO – Bacon

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 22 2015 1:36 pm

      Unless one is really good at, uh, covering up the evidence, poop doesn’t lie. And then there’s the fact that The German would not get near the scene and was eager to leave as quickly as possible….but Molly had been sighted and warned about “playing” with the rug last a couple of weeks ago. Both of them better be coming when called, putting down disgusting stuff they pick up on walks, and giving those adoring doggy smiles frequently. Thanks for shaking out a ruggy comment, Bacon!

      Like

      • PigLove / Jun 22 2015 2:32 pm

        Oh you are welcome my friends. I know all about mischief with rugs. Our little Houdini here loves them and has been known to do some pretty bad things to them too. For six pounds, he has a lot of torque in those teeth. Snorts. XOXO – Bacon

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Kate Crimmins / Jun 22 2015 1:21 pm

    Perhaps you could get the edges bound? Hard to blame the dogs. They have those innocent puppy dog eyes. Perhaps an intruder? Love the caption on second photo. Protecting coats from someone named Molly! When I was a kid I had a cat that loved to sleep on those fur collared coats that were so popular then. (Wouldn’t be caught with any real fur these days!). Owners weren’t always as happy about that.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 22 2015 1:49 pm

      You could be right. The FedEx guys always seem to be such a rush to leave for some reason…maybe it caught on their shoes or something.
      Strangely a couple of weeks ago I did have to stitch the fringe back on one end…and delivered a warning about hauling the door mat around the house by the fringe strip…it is not a kite. But how the evidence was “placed” to throw all suspicion on The German, we haven’t figured out….although in her younger years she had been known to sample laundry baskets, foot stools, and a rug or two…
      Back to Bed Bath and Beyond with those coupons. And now there are two nice crate mats. Thanks for sending a blanketing remark

      Liked by 1 person

      • Kate Crimmins / Jun 22 2015 1:53 pm

        Blaming the German is genius! Hard to scold a guest!

        Like

        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 22 2015 2:02 pm

          Those Southern manners….Mom always said manners shouldn’t be held back for special occasions but to use everyday.

          Liked by 2 people

  3. easyweimaraner / Jun 22 2015 2:11 pm

    I hope it was not the flying carpet from the fairytale… be careful before you use it next time, it could make some weird loopings… :o)

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 22 2015 2:24 pm

      Oh, Easy – that’s the only possible explanation: it’s a flying carpet belonging to an evil genie and the dogs held onto it once he realized this was a 2 dog protected house and tried to escape.(He had to use our old door mat to fly off instead and leave his behind gripped tightly by dog jaws). This is a proudly presented trophy! Thanks for solving the mystery, Easy!

      Liked by 2 people

      • easyweimaraner / Jun 22 2015 2:35 pm

        my pleasure :o) … how great that you still have the carpet… and the evil genie can ride on a broomstick now :o)

        Liked by 1 person

        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 22 2015 2:37 pm

          And now each dog crate can have an elegant rug inside! (like they are ever in their crates…I think the dogs think those are odd tables or dressers for stacking clothing on)

          Liked by 1 person

      • dogear6 / Jun 22 2015 5:51 pm

        I think this is a really good explanation and should be accepted without further analysis.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Carrie Rubin / Jun 22 2015 3:44 pm

    When the cat’s away, the mice will play… That’s quite a chunk out of the rug. Better hide your comforters…

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 22 2015 4:05 pm

      We abandoned the super fluffy comforters (there’s a throw down damaged bedspread covering the real one currently until jaws calm). Molly seems to love ripping stuff up as play and delights in the sound – leaving pieces untouched on the ground. The German actually eats her object of focus…maybe to hide the evidence? She was quite destructive while working through her trauma – unfortunately, thunder equals terror still. We figure they were in it together.
      Thank goodness for Bed Bath and Beyond coupons…we will however go back to putting the rug up when there may be an issue…which sort of defeats the purpose of having a welcome mat. Thanks for stepping in with a comment

      Like

      • Carrie Rubin / Jun 22 2015 4:14 pm

        “The German actually eats her object of focus”—Ha, that’s quite the digestive tract!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. marthaschaefer / Jun 22 2015 6:39 pm

    So far only one wooden fish has fallen prey to the pack here. Alice is presiding over temporary doggie day care with her three cousins from CA. It is mayhem at dinner time. Skeedles the cat slips in when no one is looking. The husky is her only true threat and so far she is somehow invisible. Cheers to all, lots of doggy paw waves.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 23 2015 2:03 pm

      Of course a fish. Alaskan salmon hunting instinct by Husky…that’s their excuse probably…with big doggie eyes. It is strange how cats can put on an invisiblity coat. Watch out for careening dogs and enjoy the mayhem. Thanks for weaving up a comment to leave here

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Jay E. / Jun 22 2015 7:42 pm

    I think I’ve shared with you what our cat does during storms; thankfully, destructive eating isn’t one of those things.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 23 2015 2:08 pm

      Good idea not to sneak up on a nervous cat from behind. You’ll see the real meaning of whirl wind tornado. Thanks for shaking out a comment

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jay E. / Jun 23 2015 2:13 pm

        It’s also unwise not to come between a cat and the kitchen. Every Tuesday I share a quote from Terry Pratchett. Today’s quote was “cats gravitate to kitchens like rocks gravitate to gravity.” Talk about a whirlwind!

        Like

        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 23 2015 7:38 pm

          Tired of getting bowled over by large scrambling dogs headed the same direction. RC Cat prefers to call “sweetly” for service when she desires dinner to be served in her window box dining room. (Ignore her demands at your own risk…)

          Liked by 1 person

  7. shoreacres / Jun 22 2015 11:55 pm

    I know the problem. Look at that top photo. Don’t you see that grinning monster there above the fringe? They were just protecting whoever happened to be around from that potential threat!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 23 2015 2:11 pm

      So finally it’s revealed: you know that itchy feeling wool gives in hot weather? It’s really a wooly monster’s scratching fingernails. Thank goodness for perceptive dogs. Cat would just hiss and ignore. Thanks for unraveling the mystery

      Like

  8. Littlesundog / Jun 23 2015 4:53 pm

    So the scoop is in the poop! I’ve had canines all of my life, and this latest crew are not chewers thankfully. One likes to sort through trash if he can get to it and he occasionally leaves us a “tootsie roll” surprise on the floor but none of the trio really do damage – well, unless you cite rubbing eye boogers on the walls as a violation. This breed has a lot of eye issues and they love to rub their faces on the walls. Someday I’ll get busy painting.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 23 2015 7:45 pm

      Molly believes walls are as good as a towel after a bath. Stripes look good in hallways, don’t they?
      Thanks for rolling in with a comment

      Like

  9. Ally Bean / Jun 23 2015 5:38 pm

    I’ve never lived with dogs, only cats. While they have their own destructive powers, I’ve never had one eat a rug. It’s kind of funny, as a person looking in from the outside. Maybe it is time to embrace a minimalist, rug-free look in your home?

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 23 2015 7:51 pm

      Sometimes cats like to add their personal touch to decor – like making fringe from hanging fabric or wallpaper.
      The German ate her first dog house…it was a lovely gingerbread wooden one. Ripped off the dainty shingles one at a time then dragged the remaining roofless structure all around the yard like a beach ball. She always loved creative play toys. Molly just tastes (like sharks taste swimmers) fabric.
      We have been rugless for since the first one was discovered and altered by Molly…but Half Staff thought it would be nice to have an entry rug for wet feet with all the rainy weather…Yep, that worked well. Thanks for the meowy message!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. jmmcdowell / Jun 23 2015 6:56 pm

    Oh my my, those two are a handful! Perhaps the “other half” should attend an RC Cat refresher lesson in their duties in the realm? 😉

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 23 2015 9:17 pm

      As long as the training session is not in another town far far away….(RC snarled she might was well put it on repeat loop video as constant reinforcement seems necessary) Glad you stopped in with a rag comment

      Like

  11. EllaDee / Jun 24 2015 1:41 am

    Have the furred-ones bee watching those DIY home decor improvement shows on TV? Better Homes and Gardens? Adding the personal shabby chic touch.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 24 2015 1:52 pm

      Freshening the decor is certainly the explanation when they move the furniture. With images of summer camp activities in ads now, they may be participating in the tug of rug competition for Day Camp Olympics? That would explain all the hot footed 50 yard dashes, too. Thanks for shaking out a comment

      Like

  12. roughseasinthemed / Jun 24 2015 1:18 pm

    Snowy says, good one Molly and The German (8)

    Like

  13. colonialist / Jun 24 2015 8:47 pm

    Hope the cat is Persian and the rug isn’t.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 26 2015 1:34 am

      HRH Cat just wants you to know her fur is of the highest quality…not to be confused with a throwdown mat bought from a big box store with a coupon. (Staff isn’t totally nuts). She did chuckle when Staff assured her you were attempting a joke to amuse her.
      Thanks for weaving in a comment

      Like

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