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June 1, 2015 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Cutting of the Hey-hey

It is a cereal concern. What?

You are interrupting. Our mouth is moving. We know it is. Have you no manners? Rhetorical question. (Sigh)

Why ever would you think We are talking about highway incidents in Colorado? Shatters Our confidence.  Is the FBI after Snap, Crackle, Pop? No. They have their bowls to stir and We have Ours.

Concern over cereal has floored Us, We must admit, but We shall serve up comment concerning that issue shortly.

At the moment, We are most concerned about the Hey-hey.

So discourage it appears to have given up. See for yourself.

Hey, no permissions granted. All HAY rights reaserved

Last straw. Too depressed to live.©

As regent and RC of the Realm, We do Our best to encourage positive attitudes.

We, Ourselves, spend dark hours whispering encouragement and urging the Hey-hey to dig deep – to hold on until the sun returned to the sunny room and once again warmed its leafy soul.

We even curled up beside it in demonstration of stormy weather hibernation.

But it was all for not.

The Hey-hey has given up.

This ugly mindset of despair could  spread if steps are not taken.

We have repeatedly asked Staff to step it up and remove this ugliness that endangers those in the Realm.

And although far fetching, a small part of us wonders if something could be done to prevent future Hey-hey suicides.

Staff did mention the possibility of finding some sort of artificial light.

Such as tanning beds, perhaps Dunderheads? Lite thinking. Obviously the Hey-hey is already far too tan.

The death of hey-hey.No permissions granted. All rights reserved copyrighted

“Bring back the sun”, the Hey-hey pleads. Too late.©

Now that the rains have left these Coastal Plains, We shall send Staff in search of a replacement.

How We long to hear those glorious words, “Hey-hey has arrived!”

A swat or two may be just what is needed for staff to cut out all the excuses.

Meanwhile, We shall be an example for Our subjects and carry on the best We can.

And as far as those recent snide remarks about litter around the water bowl. Dunderheads!

More likely it is granola crumbs left by sloppy Staff.

A cereal mess!

We keep insisting that one must sit down to gracefully eat. Better for digestion and unauthorized floor stickiness.

Manners. Humans are so difficult to train.

So it is now official. It is time to cut out this sad lump of Hey-hey.

Time to nag Staff unmercifully dream of the day a new Hey-hey arrived.

It shall be a glorious time.

And it better happen soon if Staff knows what is good for them.

Heard the phrase “Cat Grass Fever?” Enough said.

Carry on. We know your little lives are made easier knowing you RC Cat has everything under her paw.


Our paw is waving.

What? No, a little clump of something did not fall off. What are you insinuating?

Oh, dear. We shall just sit down. Fluff conveniently covers everything.

Frankish Woman and Servant wearing tall platform shoes. (1750.Liotard/Nelson-Atkins Museum/

Foot Note: “Considering the amount of rolling dog hair tumbleweeds Staff is ignoring, who could be blamed for using available materials for create chopines in order to get to the water bowl?” RC Cat.

Audience done.

The paw is waving. Again.

Don’t forget to leave the tribute of an open can of food in the doorway.
What? Well, you may leave another.

The lack of happy Hey-hey is making Us grumpy. Blame staff.

I am RC Cat and I approve this message.






  1. easyweimaraner / Jun 1 2015 3:43 pm

    we need a new hey-hey too… Mr. Winter killed the most beautiful plant my momma ever had… I wonder about that… normlly my mom is the plant-killer… that Mr. Winter must have magic power :o)


  2. Kate Crimmins / Jun 1 2015 4:07 pm

    My cats get cranky when their hey-hey dies out as it always does indoors. However, now we have porch hey-hey where it is happier and thrives (despite being chewed down by marauding cats) until really hard frosts.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 2 2015 5:43 pm

      RC Cat: “We get most upset if Our Hey-hey is outside. First it’s not in the assigned seat. Secondly, that lump also known as Sasha-next-door-kicked-out-of-her-house cat Would sit close too Our Hey-hey forcing use to unleash the Paws of Fury at the window screen and window. In addition, Staff complained of the tiny black bugs that would plant hitchhike back inside the Realm once it was retrieved indoors. The bugs were too small to be of interest to Us. We left it to Staff to hunt down and smush them all – only after much complaining. But that does provide some amusing entertainment. A gracious paw wave to you and those of your realm”

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Carrie Rubin / Jun 1 2015 4:52 pm

    Poor little dried out plant. But at least you have an excuse in the weather. Any plants I’ve ever had have withered because of my own ineptness. I finally gave up.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 2 2015 5:48 pm

      RC Cat. “No matter what Staff does, the results are the same: 6-8 weeks and then crispy Hey-hey. There is wisdom knowing when the struggle is futile. A small budget item well worth the cost. Make more sense than those dog toys that last five minutes. A soft ankle rub-past for your visit and astuteness.”

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Sue / Jun 1 2015 5:52 pm

    I love your mind-hopping….always makes me smile


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 2 2015 5:58 pm

      RC Cat: “We are pleased such a talented photographer stopped by to visit. The Hey-hey habitat is not really very photogenic, but perhaps that shall prod Staff to get a replacement. A gracious paw wave for your kind words.”

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sue / Jun 2 2015 6:03 pm



  5. marthaschaefer / Jun 1 2015 8:38 pm

    So nice to hear from you RC! I’m sorry the staff has been remiss on the hey-hey. Around here we just go outside and bring in a toy or two to get their attention. Might I suggest something still alive?! Makes the shriek but they do drop everything and get right to it!!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 2 2015 6:45 pm

      RC Cat: “Right now there’s a large number of small lizards – and often they slip inside without Staff or the Molly noticing. They seem eager to participate in marathons and cross training exercises with Us. It is great fun. Staff not understand these games are totally voluntary. ALthough when We tire, We are grateful staff returns the little wigglers to the wild so the Molly doesn’t crush them with her clumsy heavy paws. It would be such a shame to end like that. Toodles and grand paw waves!”

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Catherine Hamrick / Jun 1 2015 11:03 pm

    I’m Random Storyteller. I approve this message. haha


  7. sustainabilitea / Jun 2 2015 12:31 am

    I just got back from a week in Arizona and discovered my husband somehow turned my lavender into something resembling hey-hey. Sigh. Ahhh, well. At least everything else is still alive and well.



    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 2 2015 6:53 pm

      RC Cat: “We have decided that certain plants must get attached to a single caretaker and declines if attention isn’t lavished by that particular individual. We have tested this theory. When Staff totally forgets the existence of Hey.hey or is gone for some foolish reason, the Hey-hey flourishes under Our own watch and care. If Staff makes any attempts to “nuture” the Hey-hey, it wilts, complains, and fails. There it is: We, the RC Cat of the Realm, is a Plant Whisperer. You must be, too! How delightful. A cheery paw wave to a like soul!”

      Liked by 1 person

      • sustainabilitea / Jun 2 2015 6:55 pm

        I guess if you don’t get it just right, it’s cat-ostrophic. 🙂


  8. PiedType / Jun 2 2015 3:14 am

    At least it didn’t drown … 😦


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 2 2015 6:56 pm

      RC Cat: “Staff almost let that happen during a desperate plant field trip outside. That may have been the last straw sip. A regal salute for your concern!”


  9. EllaDee / Jun 2 2015 4:16 am

    RC, RIP Hey-hey… but remember there’s always greener grass on the other side of the fence. Once the wet stuff stops falling Staff will go on a Hey-hey expedition, and you’ll be rolling in clover 😉


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 2 2015 7:01 pm

      RC Cat: “Indeed a trip to the Hey-hey gardener is on the schedule. Staff attempted to grow some on their own, but the results were flimsy, limp, and disappointing. The grass is greener over there – so we are sending Staff to the over there. There once was an Australian Rex bunny in the Realm. Staff would forage for fresh clover everyday. Bunny was so thrilled, it was quite amusing to watch the joy. A soft cheek pat for reminding Us of an old friend. Paw waves!”

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Ally Bean / Jun 2 2015 3:10 pm

    One might suggest that if this situation occurs again RC might want to ask Staff to put the soon-to-be-dried-out inside hey-hey… outside… where it is wet. Just a humble thought.

    {leaving food by doorway as I excuse myself from your presence}


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 2 2015 7:12 pm

      RC Cat: “Oh, what a delight! A tasty unexpected snack. Greatly consoles Us. Staff struggles so much with Hey-hey. Planting it themselves. Different varieties (We do not approve of substitutions. It’s green. Other than that, no similarities. Snubbed as it deserves.) Water a little. Water a lot. Trim it. Don’t trim it. It doesn’t matter. Most distressing is when one day the Hey-hey is thriving and the next morning it falls over and is limp as wet spinach noodles. It especially seems to hate going outside in the sun. It seems to prefer life in the air conditioning rather than hot humidity outdoors. We have decided that this is an odd plant with 6-8 weeks lifespan. We constantly tell staff that ‘it is what it is…pitch out the fried bunch and bring in a fresh one’…but only from that one Hey-hey provider. No substitutions. We are a connoisseur of Hey-hey. Staff finally got that last part. We are expecting a fresh delivery shortly. Your kind treat shall soothe Us until it arrives. A grateful purr and soft cheek pat for your astute recognition of Our dire situation.”

      Liked by 1 person

  11. jmmcdowell / Jun 2 2015 11:28 pm

    We have a number of new plants for the new house, and I hope they won’t suffer the same fate as hey-hey. I hope they won’t need an RC of their own to ensure their good health!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 3 2015 1:21 pm

      RC Cat: “Ah, Our friend of mysteries. We shall make a foliage observation. Do not be mislead by those yards of “Best in Neighborhood” (You know those show creatures – hot house flowers in reality. So demanding). Pass by the plants in yards with staff in constant attendance. Turn instead to the local public buildings, offices, museums, boulevard roadways, subdivision entrances. There will be plants requiring little maintenance – and lower costs. Hardy independent plants that prefer to be left alone and not fussed with. One strong and not suicidal. Now, there. Yard work limited. More time for writing of little mysteries! Done. An encouraging paw wave sent in your direction!”

      Liked by 1 person

      • jmmcdowell / Jun 3 2015 11:12 pm

        Wise words, RC! We are planning on mainly native plants for the outdoors and low-maintenance and air-cleaning plants for the inside. And a mystery is underway. 🙂


        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 4 2015 1:21 am

          RC Cat: “We shall ask the birds to pass the word that those air-cleaning plants better kick it into high. Nothing no foggy thinking to impede mystery! Paw wave in delight!”


  12. heretherebespiders / Jun 3 2015 9:33 pm

    Cat grass? Spot would eat it no matter how brown. Which is why any plant remotely tempting is removed to a safe location. Spider plant? NO Spottie not for you! I just bring him in a wee fistful of the overgrown thing that is my back yard. He’s happy.
    Had not heard about the Colorado thing. My ‘net is so bad I got little of the story – was the other victim also a cyclist? Maybe someone who has it in for the Spandex Mafia.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 4 2015 1:17 am

      RC Cat; “We are pleased to announce that today was a celebration of new Hey-hey. And since We must now cuddle and adore it, We shall let Staff chat a bit. Paw wave. Departing paw wave until another day”
      Staff: Whew. Unexpected duty. Had to run down the hall.Once the hey-hey is crunchy, RC loses interest – although Molly would be pleased to grab it and play touch plantball with it. Yesterday the CO authorities said a young girl had been shot twice while driving, but managed to pull over safely and call for help. Shot in the neck. MAybe it’s an anti-tourist group? School is about to be out here. Oh, sorry.HRH is calling…must be a mousie 3 inches out of her reach or something….Thanks for harvesting a comment to leave

      Liked by 1 person

  13. angelswhisper2011 / Jun 6 2015 6:28 pm

    My grass looks like hey-hey after 3 weeks too, even if Granny gives it water. I think hey-hey wants to be hey after a while 😀 Pawkisses 🙂 ❤



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