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November 17, 2014 / philosophermouseofthehedge

No to plant holiday couture.

Human quirkiness gone too far this time.

We foolishly indulged the doggy git-ups as a canine raincoat may be sensible at times and the Holler-ring dog costumes did provide moments of amusement.

However, this new outdoor folly totally baffles Us. What is Staff thinking?

(1961.Buster Keaton/Twilight Zone.CBS pub.photo/US PD: pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org

Polar chill arriving. No time to consult about the tender vegetation. Risky move. (1961.CBS/US PD: pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Dressing plants now?

There have been rumors of palms reaching out. Begging, We guess.

Yet, We have not heard of any foliage requesting party clothes for Gobbling Fest.

An attempt to impress the neighbors with early Ho-Ho-Ho-ing yard decorations?

Inflatable puffalumps were so popular last year, but We must speak to staff.

They should purchase ready-made yard decor. False economy here.

The Realm does have a reputation to uphold.

While appreciative of their creative efforts, We must discourage. Observe:

Plant dressed as Mary. all rights reserved. Copy righted, No permissions granted.

At least Staff got the color almost right. But that string belt has to go. And that clothespin will not pass as a brooch. ©

Is this supposed to be the Christmas Madonna?

We understand she came from a poor humble family, but must Staff be so literal with this shabby interpretation?

Wouldn’t Mary, Queen of Heaven be a more appropriate display for the Realm?

We do not think adding a crown will be enough of an improvement there.

Now We to assume these are an attempt at the Three Kings? Unwise!

Staff must be sampling the Gobbling Fest wine early.

More like lost ghosts of the Holler-ring Vegetable Invasion.

Three wrapped up palms looking like the Three Wise Men. All rights reserved. No permissions granted. Copyrighted

How could they possibly ride camels wrapped up like mummies? How would they hold the incense, Frankenstein, and purrs? Dunderheads! ©

And this?

An elf hat? Confusing a Hippo tusk for reindeer antlers? Or a very awkward candy cane.

It’s not possible they’ve kidnapped Marge Simpson and are holding her hostage, is it? The bundle does seem to be moving….

We are distraught at Staff’s incompetence.

No permissions granted. A tall palm tree wrapped up for frost. All rights reserved. Copyrighted

Not even enough fashion sense to color coordinate. ©

Perhaps the early freeze is a blessing.

We shall suggest that imitation snow drifts are totally unnecessary with the real thing quite possible.

Simply too much.

All rights reserved. Small plant wrapped for frost. Copy righted. NO permissions granted

Snow drift or perhaps a holiday pinto penguin?

Come. We require quiet darkness to erase these nightmares from our minds.

Follow Us to the Our inner sanctum meditation loft in Staff’s apparel chamber.

We shall allow you to soothe us with soft chin tickles.

You may stand on the stool to reach us and We shall reward you with paw-paws on the top of your head if your pats are worthy.

Why are you stopping? Oh, how silly of Us. Of course.

By all means pause and leave your tribute in the appropriate spot.

So delighted you are aware of protocol. We shall be motionless in approval.

We are waiting. Tired of waiting! Plunk down a couple of cans and be done with it, Fool. Stop wasting your precious Royal Audience time.

All rights reserved. Copy righted. Bulky lump of a plant next to flamingo.No permissions granted.

We are distressed to think this may be an attempt at a polar bear inflatable yard decoration. Even the flamingo is pink with embarrassment. ©

Such a bad precedent, clothing plants.

Before you know it, all the plants will be demanding blankets and whining about coming inside during cold weather just like dogs.

Bad idea, We say. 

Before long stores will be have a special plant department just like the clothing and accessory aisles for dogs.

What? Stores already have sections devoted to plants? With seasonal blankets for them? Special foods? Everything for needed for flower beds? Plants have furniture?

Oh, it is worse than imagined.

Sigh. We must intervene to avoid further madness.

Humans seem willing to exploit the strangest ideas if money can be made.

We must forbid interaction with Staff at this time for your own protection.

One must avoid becoming infected by their silly ideas of plant couture.

No permissions granted. All rights reserved. Copyrighted

We cannot get those troubling images out of Our head. We suppose plants shall want a dry cleaning allowance next. Well, they shall have to barter with Staff for closet space. ©

Our paw is waving.

Dismissed with pleasure. Ours, not yours.

And don’t forget to leave the tribute of an open can of food in the doorway.

What? Well, you may leave another.

It is the season to curry favor  share one’s plentiful bounty.

The paw is waving. Again.

Adieu, mon cher.

I am RC Cat and I approve this message.

crown

 

 

 

 

all rights reserved. No permissions granted. Copy righted

Hey, how come the plants get to toga and I can’t have a pleated skirt – a short one? And a cheerleading sweater. Please? Holiday gift idea! ©

27 Comments

  1. katecrimmins / Nov 17 2014 2:23 pm

    I’m not quite sure what’s under those mysterious wrappings but I agree with RC (who is simply stunning). Best to keep humans uninfected. Yes and buy that cheerleader’s outfit for Mollie. It’s better than a princess outfit!

    Liked by 1 person

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 17 2014 2:32 pm

      RC Cat: “Astute suggestion. The Molly doesn’t need to be attempting anything royal. And glass slippers might be scratch the floors. A warm cheery paw wave!”

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Carrie Rubin / Nov 17 2014 3:41 pm

    They almost look like bodies under there. Guess I’ve still got Halloween on the mind…

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 17 2014 4:21 pm

      RC Cat: “If only the weather would coordinate with the holidays. We can only hoping for a terrible terrible hard freeze so that Staff will throw the monster black blanket on top of the entire area. A black hole is less bruising than a misdirected holiday decor effort. A paw wave for your kind commiseration.”

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Paul / Nov 17 2014 4:38 pm

    Ha! I see your Staff has done its best using what material you have . Here in the colder reaches of the continent the big box Home stores do actually have a section for wrapping plants. Usually using burlap.

    I’ve visited Galveston and wasn’t aware that it ever got cold enough there to endanger plants – although you probably aren’t trying to protect them from freezing but rather just cold temps.

    I have to tell you RC Cat of theRealm, that it gets cold enough up here in winter that the humans start to look like wrapped plants with layered clothing. It can be startling when you see what you think is a wrapped plant, suddenly start to move. And on cold mornings bus loads of apparently wrapped plants can be seen travelling towards the downtown core. It is quite surreal

    Great post RC – thanks for the update. I’ll leave an open can of food at the door.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 17 2014 7:16 pm

      RC Cat: “Thank goodness the sun has arrived. If the wind drops, Houston is expecting upper 20’s tonight with hard freeze. End of last week, the highs were lower 40’s and freezing at night. Foolish staff did not but the big black plant overcoat blanket on top of the colorful under wrappings as was done last January. It looked a bit like a giant anaconda sleeping along the driveway, but visually much nicer – and the plants were doubly warm.
      We were quite delighted when Staff decided to relocate south to a much better insulated house with multiple sunny windows. Even when it snows, We have a nice view.
      Plants riding the Metro! Oh, dear. Hope the plants here do not hear rumors of that! So appreciative of the warning.A regal paw wave to cheer your day. (How envious your neighbors will be of you!)”

      Like

  4. sportsattitudes / Nov 17 2014 4:39 pm

    Did anyone take the time to ask these plants and trees if they even wanted clothes? I didn’t think so. Seems to me we are blessed with them to enjoy within their natural surroundings even if those environments occasionally get challenging. Makes them all the more special when they overcome temporary obstacles. And if you are going to provide unsolicited wardrobes…indeed, bring some fashion sense to the effort.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 17 2014 7:22 pm

      RC Cat: “Exactly. “Clothing Optional” can quickly turn into “Clothing Mandated”! No shirt, no shoes, no landscape? Much more sensible to inform the tropical plants to gut it up or die back to the roots. We are proclaiming budgetary clothesline item veto now. So appreciative of such commons sense from a human. Paw waves!”

      Like

  5. Debra / Nov 17 2014 5:10 pm

    Thank you! I laughed out loud. I have to admit to a couple of ghosts lurking on my patio ….

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 17 2014 7:24 pm

      RC Cat: “We fear that the recent vegetable invaders planted some seeds of nonsense among the yard plants. We do hope temperature moderate and this foolishness is wrapped up and put away soon. A stern paw wave in warning to the lurking lumps on your patio.”

      Like

  6. shoreacres / Nov 17 2014 8:47 pm

    If the wind stays up, I think we’re good tonight, but farther west? Like, Angleton, Alvin – flirting with a freeze. I think. And I’ve heard something about next week, too — but that was model based, and hence open to a lot of revision, interpretation, and so on.

    In any event, the small stuff’s indoors, and I’m not ready to haul the biggies yet. They’re all in a corner, huddled together, and out of the wind. I think that will do for the time being. At worst, the ficus will drop some leaves.

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    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 18 2014 12:44 am

      RC Cat. “The tall palms are still rattling, but not as frigid as expected…this time. Staff seems to have shoved an elephant in the corner of the patio up against the house and covered it with plant blankets. The poor thing is either so grateful to have shelter or frozen stiff. At least it’s being quiet…We have tried and tried to ask it to move over a bit as it is blocking Our sunny view, but no. It stands there quivering occasionally. Sigh. We must be gracious. At least staff didn’t invite it inside. We shall retreat to Our loft until the elephant leaves. We do hope that ficus is kind enough to pick up after itself (and doesn’t request an overcoat. ) Cheery wave to your realm!”

      Like

  7. EllaDee / Nov 18 2014 1:38 am

    I just donated a big bag of old clothes to the G.O. for motorcycle cleaning rags but I’m sure I could have sent them over for worthy and chilly Northern Hemisphere trees & shrubs… they were a little holey but just enough to let in some air not the breeze… I actually rescinded my trackie bottoms when the weather turned a little brisk. In return we could have swapped for hats & sunnies as our coming season is apparently predicted to be hotter, dryer… globally warming.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 18 2014 4:44 pm

      RC Cat: “Oh the warming memories. With the sun coming out, We are able to peer through the sunny window and watch Staff give the plants a pep talk. Sigh. Such a racket. The smallest palms are limp and blaming the heaviness of hand me down coverings from the medium sized siblings. The larger palms are complaining they at least deserve new overcoats to cover the mismatch of outgrown outfits. The medium sized palms are smug they finally grew into older siblings all the same color wraps. The very old and tall palms are snorting how wimpy the younger generation is and “they need to grow up – life for the youngsters is much too easy…” It is quite amusing to watch staff struggle with it all. We are happily entertained and trust you are, too. So kind of you to offer assistance. A soft paw pat for your kindness!”

      Like

  8. marthaschaefer / Nov 18 2014 2:14 pm

    Silly Southern siblings requiring clothing. Plants up here just shed their dress and hunker down…
    Thanks for the tour around the realm. Can of food dutifully left as payment…

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 18 2014 4:48 pm

      RC Cat:” Such brave plants you have. They should be a beacon to the silly tropicals here. We have even noticed that some humans attempt to mimic by stripping down to minimum clothing and leaping around – falling eventually into water. We might advise plant tutoring humans that they seem to be slow students. But how delightful your plants hold to seasonal traditions! How delighted we are that you recognize the importance of can food courtesy. Extraordinary. We shall award a soft cheek pat in recognition.”

      Liked by 1 person

  9. aFrankAngle / Nov 19 2014 2:08 pm

    Whoa … a new wave of Christmas decorations, but I stores here have any left! …. and all this coming off the orange invasion … poor Mollie … so she deserves her pleats. Meanwhile, I know RC remains CCC … cool, calm, and collected.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 19 2014 3:46 pm

      RC Cat: “As RC, One must strive to be an example. We are please to report We instructed Staff to remove the plant overcoats. All that swishing as the plants whine about wilting in the much warmer weather should be avoided when possible. And We do so understand the plants’ desire to lounge in the sun. A gracious paw wave to cheer your day.”

      Like

      • aFrankAngle / Nov 19 2014 8:47 pm

        RC … As I become to expect, you are very eloquent from your throne. Did Mollie get over her spook from the orange invasion?

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        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 19 2014 10:50 pm

          RC Cat: “We are much embarrassed to admit the Molly tried several time to play soccer with the vegetables. It didn’t roll too well. We would appreciate it if all would simply not encourage her foolishness. Now she is imitating cheerleader flounces and leaps. TV sport viewing time is not meant to be instructive. A paw wave. Pay no attention to the pompom streamers caught on our paws. Quite disturbing, but We shall rise above it in Our loft. Cheery toodles”

          Like

          • aFrankAngle / Nov 20 2014 1:17 am

            RC … well, as you well know, some dogs just aren’t very sophisticated.

            Liked by 1 person

  10. roughseasinthemed / Nov 19 2014 7:18 pm

    I read about plant cover-ups with fascination. At my place, summer is the killer, not winter. Parasols and sunscreen should be the order of the day. Wishing those plants a good hibernation. No cat food, but would a little left-over shepherd’s pie suffice?

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    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 19 2014 11:13 pm

      RC Cat. “It was 30 this morning and 70 this afternoon. Maybe 80’s tomorrow. The sunny rooms are sunny again. Plants have shed their overcoats. We shall lounge until the next front arrives with 2-3 days of storms. Normally the plants just have to gut it up except for a few large pots on the patio Staff huddles together and covers before hard freezes up creating an elephant blocking the view from Our office window. Most annoying. We scoffed when Staffed dragged home 8 bargain Mediterranean palms at the end of the growing season a few years ago. During one frigid winter, some died, but some came back from the roots. So staff decided to try and to keep the palms from starting at ground zero all over again. With the weather swings, the overcoats are dropped on and off until staff gets tired of the fun. We can only say it provides exercise for staff and amusement for us. Speaking of amusing, shepherd’s pie sounds delightful. We shall sample it now. No need to take to the kitchen. There are napkins, yes? So grateful for the delicious change of plate. We shall send a friendly paw wave from Our loft just in case Snowy and Pippa are close by. We try with them. To have a friend, be one as We say.”

      Like

  11. jmmcdowell / Nov 20 2014 12:28 am

    Perhaps RC has some influence with the Rulers of the Weather? And could convince them to warm things up just a bit? Not too much, just closer to average? No? Ah well, no mind. Please accept this open can, if my frozen fingers can just remove the lid….

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    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 21 2014 12:26 am

      RC Cat: “Mr Snow Miser looks like he’s making early trips this year in your area. Brrr.
      We have retreated to Our loft where Staff’s hanging garments must add insulation…keeps it toasty warm.
      Perhaps We shall inquire who is hoarding the sun. Aussies. They must have their sailing and surfing. We must inquire.
      A soft cheek pat for turning Our attention toward selfish sun snaggers. Paws of fury! We shall see they relinquish…after We nap a bit. Meanwhile, wrap up in a snuggly blanket. Paw waves…We are too waving. It is just difficult for you to see with that blanket over you head. But We understand and excuse. Soft tolerant shoulder pat to show Our graciousness.”

      Liked by 1 person

  12. jannatwrites / Nov 20 2014 5:00 am

    Haha, it does look funny, but we must keep the tender plants warm! I imagine animals must think it’s the strangest thing.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 21 2014 12:28 am

      RC Cat, “The German never figured it out. That one would bark and bark thinking there were intruders in the dark. We are pleased to report all overcoats all off currently. Plants are limply grateful. A cheery wave to you!”

      Like

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