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July 11, 2014 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Ironing out the ironies.

(Goodyear Tire and Rubber Co.) Alfred Palmer, 1906-1993/US PD: by fed. employee/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Dunderhead dodgeball? (Ironically, so many wrinkles there. A weak end.)

Is it any wonder with the Dawn of the Planet of the Apes movie opening that there are copy cats?

Guess you can kick animals around just so long before they retaliate and take matters into their own hooves, jaws, or antlers.

First it was the aggressive cow, then that mad cat Kush, and, now? Better be wary of Bambi. (In all fairness, that last one started at the liquor store…you know they can’t handle whiskey.)

Perhaps that Planet of the Apes movie trailer gave them the motivation to get organized: “Taking it back!”

In retrospect, ticks with their Lyme Disease arsenal were the first assault? (Might note: the deer may have been in cahoots with the ticks from the very beginning?)

Odd, anyway.

1933 RKO Radio Picture.Roland Coudon/US PD:pub date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Hard to ignore the 2,000 pound gorilla in the room.(1933RKO.Roland Coudon/US PD:pub date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Difficult dilemma facing so many currently. Futures hang in the balance. Choose wisely!

Is 88 million dollars over four years enough to make basketball player Bosh commit to play for the Houston Rockets? (Depends if he’s been here to witness the sweltering heat – but the AC works great! Besides he’s used to the Heat.)

Will Rocket’s basketball player Chandler Parsons stay in Houston or jump to Dallas for $46 million over three years? (Who can blame him. He’s considered one of the most underpaid player in the NBA with his current deal. Never accept less than you are worth. Whatever the market will bear.)

Oh, the posturing and pouting. Andre Johnson is one of the best NFL receivers ever. $14.6 million for 2014 (base salary plus pro-rated signing bonus) Oh, and $1 million Workout Bonus if he participates in the off-season program – which he didn’t do. Missing the mandatory mini training camp, he was fined $70,000. (He offered to come but only if they paid him the Workout Bonus. But the team refused, so he was MIA) Discouraged, he wants to be traded. Ironically, by today’s standards, he is underpaid. But who would turn down $588,234 a week for about 17 weeks?

1933. King Kong poster/US PD:pu.date/CR not renewed/artist life/Commons.wikimedia.org)

“Fame, fortune, planes, women – it’s not enough. It’s never enough. Why don’t you see?”(1933/US PD:pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Certainly not Chelsea. She’s bound to be wearing out her shoes with all the speaking engagements. $75,000.00 hardly buys for anything anymore.

Good thing she can talk.

(Who knew words could be worth so much?)

Perhaps the well-heeled and well played individuals will show their sensitive side.

They are bound to have a spare room or two. So many need a roof over their heads – and don’t mind sharing a bathroom or even a bed.

Homeland Security, HHS, even local CPS are looking for foster homes. All it takes is  a call! They’re waiting by the phones now.

Think of all the positive PR that would result. Can’t buy that kind of publicity!

Woman Ironing. 1882-1945. NARA:NLFDR/USPD. by fed employee/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Ironically, everyone loves company – no matter the preparation required. (NARA/USPD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Thinking along those “can’t buy that” lines, totally baffled with the hypocrisy irony and mixed messages by the Federal Government and President.

No time – or need – for photo ops at the border to see the problems first hand, but lots of pictures of a smiling President with pool tables and young girls during his trip to Austin (To raise money for his political party – not for the needy.)

(…Although he could have passed the hat among attendees and used his bully pulpit to encourage giving to the poor “children/mostly pre-teens and teenagers” coming over the border. Who wouldn’t want to help the children? He could have asked.)

Surely the shelters would have gladly screen for contagious diseases, scabies, and lice before letting kids near a visiting compassionate President.

Besides if they were a risk, the agencies wouldn’t be putting them on public transportation and moving them among the public.

So why the President passed up a chance to kiss and hug babies is confusing.

Could have been a real vote getter. Political coin!

Just buying time, until a solution appears, I guess. No other reason.

1941-1945 poster by Norman Rockwell 1894-1978.NARA/US PD: by Fed employee: pub.date, artist life/Commons.wikimedai.org)

What were they thinking? Created and produced by the US Federal government. Religion considered an available tool in the Federal tool box whenever applicable? (Rockwell/NARA/US PD: pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Not sure if they’ve seen the light or are light-headed right now.

There was such outrage that Hobby Lobby’s owners firmly hold to their religious beliefs. Close on Sunday and about that birth control for employees.(Won’t bore you, you’ve heard it all.)

So many yelling: “It’s in the public arena. Religion has no place!”

Yet when faced with a public crisis the same ones are yelling: “Live your faith! What would Jesus do? Take in the weak and sick. Take the Little children into your homes!”

Talk about being two-faced as needed. Maybe it’s the “Forget and Forgive” thing.

So elementary school-ish: “You’re not my friend – go away. I hate you. I wish you were dead.”

Then later when need arises, “Oh, sweetie, can I borrow that? Can I see your math homework? Only want to see if we got the same answers…Can you hold my purse while I dance – thanks. And oh, the cat needs feeding, mind?”

Maybe it’s like nasty medicine: “Hold your nose and swallow. It’s for your own good.”

Even little kids being dosed won’t believe that.

Women at work ironing.ca.1920. Dept of Labor.Women's Bureau.NARA/USPD. By fed. employee/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Ironically, hard-working people understand pressing situations and want things straightened out. Neatly. Without a bigger mess.(1920.DOL.Women’s Bureau.NARA/US PD/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Life’s full of little ironies. 

Smoothing out the week’s wrinkles.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.

Read more?

King Kong. 1933 movie poster.USPD.pub.date:Commons.wikimedia.org)

So much is simply “sound and fury signifying nothing.” (King Kong.1933/US PD:pub.date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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22 Comments

  1. Bongo / Jul 11 2014 11:53 pm

    Maybe I should run for president. I bet I’d do a better job. And I’d only ask for treats as pay.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 12 2014 1:08 am

      Molly raises paw for the VP position. She promises not to nibble any of the windowsills and she’s quite good at recognizing friend from foe. Bongo for the lead – he knows the right trails! Thanks for chasing down a comment

      Like

      • Bongo / Jul 12 2014 3:10 am

        Bongo and Molly. That sounds like a great ticket.

        Like

  2. PiedType / Jul 12 2014 12:12 am

    It’s not like he’s camera shy …

    As for the MS-13 gang graffiti, I won’t say I told you so, but I was certainly thinking it.

    Like

  3. Paul / Jul 12 2014 5:34 am

    Having read this post with a keen eye, Phil, and an attention to detail that included following and reading all links, I am recommending that it be given it a “G” or family rating. Only one small detail remains unanswered: just exactly what does Chelsea get paid $75k a pop to discuss in front of huge audiences? Surely it can’t be breakfast at the White House? “Dahling would you be so kind as to pass the orange juice? Oh, and could you get the valet to press my pants please, they seem to have gotten a bit wrinkled. No, No, of course I haven’t had them off – only for you my dahling. **Giggles**” (Later analysis of the Breakfast Tapes [as they became known] revealed this giggle to be not of humor but rather of embarrassment – hard to tell the difference at the time.) And then, of course there is the potential lecture topic of the allegorical four-legged resident situation. Other than the Staff (as RC Cat would call the President and Family), the household consisted of the First Cat, Socks, and the First Dog, a naïve but “frisky” chocolate Lab called Buddy. Wiki describes their rocky relationship thusly: “Socks didn’t get along with the frisky Buddy, so the White House had to keep the two in separate quarters” ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddy_(dog) ) But when push came to shove, Socks stood by her Buddy.

    I’m afraid I have to inform you that by delving into Chelsea’s potential lecture topics, I have had to revise this post rating to “R”. No wonder she is in such great demand.

    I would suggest to RC Cat and Molly that if they got Phil and family installed at the White House, that the positions of First Cat and First Dog, could be theirs. They could spend their days lounging by the pool, being waited on by Staff and signing pawtographs. Paw waves all around – the life could be theirs.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 12 2014 2:49 pm

      All paws on deck! Molly promises to dig down and get to the bottom of things. She’s not afraid of a little dirt on her paws and a growl if some appear unwilling to cooperate. RC Cat adores your suggestion and promises once she’s there, fur willy fly until order is restored. (And is writing proclamations about more green spaces and mandatory free play for humans – it clears their thinking she says.) Maybe….(thanks for sharing the wisdom)

      Like

  4. jannatwrites / Jul 12 2014 6:16 am

    Well, he didn’t need to go to the border… he can’t run for a third term anyway, so the votes didn’t matter 🙂 The border is a huge issue right now and it doesn’t look like it will be addressed any time soon.

    As for the salary of pro basketball players… I wish!

    Like

  5. bulldog / Jul 12 2014 6:18 am

    75 G’s for Chelsea … what does she know about her dad;s escapades.??? Surely she would have no other item of interest to talk about.??

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 13 2014 8:52 pm

      Good question. In one interview she said, “Dad taught me the importance of doing what was right.” (Guess it view point matters?)
      NBC was paying her as a “soft-focus correspondent” $600,00 annually or over $25,000.per minute on the air until they realized what they had. We saw her first interview attempt. What can I say. Having famous parents must count big time.
      Going back to the first quote here…,maybe she has a spare bathroom/couch/bedroom to offer? – the nursery isn’t being used. yet.
      This week Beyonce stepped up big time. Gave $7 million to fund building housing for Houston homeless. Hometown girl done good.
      Hollywood? ICE/Homeland is waiting. By the phones….busy, I know…your people could call their people?…pool houses/cabana/vacation homes/tour buses will work just fine if those extra rooms are being painted….
      Thanks for stacking in a comment (Oh, back to World Cup)

      Like

  6. gingerfightback / Jul 12 2014 8:16 am

    Obscene payments have destroyed football in the UK – I love the fact that Clinton jr can command a fee of such a size. Kind of sums up the cynical manipulation of people’s goodwill. And these bastards are deemed as liberal!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 13 2014 10:45 pm

      Somehow, no matter what form of government, the politicians and sports guys seem to make an unreasonable amount of money…easy to see why parents point to those careers when asked?
      So easy to get on stage and tell others how to spend their money and guilt them into doing so…but their own bank accounts? (Border PAtrol/FEMA/ICE/Homeland are still waiting by their phones…so busy…maybe their people could call their people? (Interesting to note Beyonce gave $7 million to a church initiative to build homes for homeless..she can afford it, sure, but she actually gave it to needy in her hometown…meanwhile the Catholic church parishes are pressuring their congregation members to foster the “children”- some are teens with their own kids in their arms. Yeah, Feds pushing the churches to pick up the slack…)
      Scooooooore. Now what will we do that the World Cup is over? (It’s a big thing here…offices empty.)
      Thanks for ironing up a comment

      Like

  7. Kourtney Heintz / Jul 13 2014 4:06 pm

    Funny story about ironing. I hate it. So much so my grandma thought my cotton button down shirt was seersucker. Nope just wrinkled. 🙂

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 13 2014 8:37 pm

      We had that exact ironing board pictured..wobbly folding wooden legs – cloth covering with cotton underneath…and it would catch fire if you left that iron sit. Wonder there weren’t more house fires. Seersucker was good – especially in this semi-tropical climate that even if you iron it, after a little while you might have well not bothered. Thanks for adding that wrinkle here

      Like

  8. EllaDee / Jul 14 2014 12:44 am

    Awww, c’mon, Chelsea’s just helping out – http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/clintons-dead-broke-leaving-white-house-article-1.1822461 😉
    I can’t remember the last time I came into contact with an iron & board, so it was inevitable that my neat-freak M.I.L. and I had this conversation. Her: What happened to your shirt? Me: Nothing. Why? Her: The pockets aren’t right. Me: It just hasn’t been ironed. Ever 🙂

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 14 2014 1:52 pm

      Oh, yes, noted that article…they aren’t “really rich”…somehow the politicians and sports figures always seem to do well…the both know how and when to run?
      Growing up even the sheets, pillowcases, and men’s handkerchiefs had to be perfectly irons. Ah, progress with dryers, modern fabrics, and socially acceptable disposable tissues!
      Thanks for boarding up a comment

      Like

  9. reneejohnsonwrites / Jul 14 2014 10:33 am

    I saw the list of fees Chelsea commanded for an appearance. Wow. What can she have to say that would be so important? And I actually liked Bill Clinton, so it isn’t an aversion to her. I just don’t get it. But I don’t get where we are headed either and why I have to search the internet to just try to figure out if my lipstick is a liquid according to TSA standards.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jul 14 2014 2:04 pm

      If she had her dad’s charm and speaking skills, it might be close (although all of them sob over the cost of student education, yet charge high fees when talking to colleges/universities who pay out of student fees…).NBC hired her as a high profile “soft-focus correspondent” at $600,00 annually or over $25,000.per minute on the air until they realized how awkward and dull she was on camera. (It was dreadful to watch for very long.)
      Hey can you just speak with a Spanish accent and say “No comprende”. Leave photo id at home? Homeland is allowing recently over-the-border crowd on public transportation/planes with only the promise to show up court date paper – no photo ID,background clearance, or health checks.Beth they don’t take off shoes or turn on cell phones either…and everyone else has to worry about shampoo and lipstick sizes? Equal treatment? Sigh. Why should the US demand foreign airports tighten security? Backwards world for sure. Thanks for smoothing out those wrinkles!

      Like

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