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October 18, 2013 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Urban rumors. Halloween revels. All revealed.

So it lives. The rumor. The reality.

Flocks of bird threatened it.

But it survives in the dark.

Always fearful its’ breath will be snatched away?

Perhaps that fear – that physical frailty – forces the aggressive behavior.

1921 vintage film "Queen of Sheba"

We send you forth. Be brave in the face of seasonal unknowns.
(1921.Queen of Sheba/US PD:pub.date/exp.cr/Common.wikimedia.org)

The Molly once again dispatched to gather information.

The only way to see which way the wind blows.

To poke a hole in fears.

Upon evaluating the evidence, We must declare it is no hoax.

Seeing is believing.

Inflatable spider Halloween year decoration

The menace is real – and it’s brought reinforcements.

The truth is that the creature does exist:

The giant black spider is squatting in the neighborhood.

With menacing neck twisting wildly and waving legs ready to grab passersby.

Apparently some realms have made disturbing treaties with creatures.

Allowing such as this a temporary place to stake a claim.

In return for? We cannot imagine.

Some blowhards will fold when faced with something bigger than themselves.

And the creature has brought its’ young along.

Inflatable Halloween yard decoration with ghost and pumkins

Some bend over backwards with those of little substance.

Our Realm shall stand strong and not inflate Our egos.

Bigger isn’t always better.

Such fly-by-night creatures shall not bounce through Our lands.

There are other places the airheads can land, so let them loose to do so.

Besides We do not wish to be tied down with such.

Fall flowers

We do appreciate the natural look in Autumn yard decor.

Humans are giddy with all the colorful festivities celebrating the season.

Staff gets so distracted sometimes We feel faint from irregular meal times cheers this lighthearted mood.

Their whimsy could get them into trouble, so we attempt to guide their exuberance with suggestions.

So far Our Suggested Weekend Activities for Staff includes the following:

1. Make a spooky personalized video at Jibjab. 

There are several themes to choose from:

    • “I will survive” with disco mummies and ghouls,
    • “Halloween Rap”
    • “Let’s do the Time Warp”
    • The classic “Monster Mash.”

Oh, We do so love Glee-type productions. Perhaps a contest?

Our paws are ready to applaud in appreciation of Staff’s efforts. We must humor them. They have thumbs There are doors and cans to be opened.

2. Get expert help planning a party with Pottery Barn’s party planner pages

Decorating tips, recipes, playlists, printable invitations, place cards, and more. Once again, multiple themes:

    • Pumpkin Block Party
    • Bewitching Party
    • Dia De Los Muertos (day after Halloween)
    • Even a Writers’ Party. (A bunch of writers in one room? A frightening thought. Writers tend to be a tad scary different.)

3.  Gather around a flashlight in a dark room – or a campfire outside with WiFi – and listen to some spooky tales told by scary story tellers from American Folklore. Staff is so easily amused.

painted pumpkin yard decorations for Halloween

Everyone loves a Halloween story…as long as the pumpkins aren’t smashed. Such behavior can spoil festivities.

4. Of course with all the ruckus about the Black Spider Rumor here, perhaps Staff should review the Top 20 Scary Urban Legends.

Some have been around since the 1950’s…and still cause shivers and groans.

They will not go away! The legends. Humans wander off if not watched.

Humans are so quick to believe the illogical. The slightest  suggestion and their imaginations run wild. Hilarious.

Yes. It is Our duty to help them get passed this, but still…fear makes some so easy to manipulate  can be useful. Keeps Staff from playing in traffic.

5. Of course if it’s dark, it’s difficult to read. Perhaps some music to shiver by and let the imagination dance?

Yes, Yes. Five ideas – one for reach digit.

That should keep Staff occupied over the weekend.

Although why We should have to do this? Can’t they self regulate?

Oh, wait, They are humans.

Do they even Our appreciate efforts? Sigh. Lesser creatures.

We shall ponder other efforts now. In solitude.

That was a hint, Dunderhead . 

One must learn to pick up subtle changes in tone if one wishes to advance in the world.

Sunset at Napa Vineyard of Patriots Winery with the Grace Family

Ah, yes, We shall relax and consider with a little nip at sunset. Such fond memories of the elegant Napa lifestyle.

In appreciation of your willingness to be a sounding bore board, We shall award a soft cheek pat.

And We give permission for you to explore these options yourself.

Quite generous, We know.

As RC of the Realm We wish to be a beacon of kindness in a sometimes dark world.

And now a firm paw in the shoulder as a reminder of your position

Audience over.

Our Paw has waved!

Fini.

And don’t forget to leave an open can of food in the doorway as tribute. 

YES! Open, we said.

Our paws are too weary to struggle.

And that lazy staff is nowhere to be seen

I am RC Cat and I approve this message.

Click sidebar tag ”RC Cat” to visit with RC Cat and her Realm.

Recent posts about Halloween:

large fluffy cat on window seat

We try so hard to work with Staff. So under appreciated.

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32 Comments

  1. kmsraj51 / Oct 18 2013 1:06 pm

    Reblogged this

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 18 2013 2:25 pm

      RC Cat:” We are flattered. Curious as to your blog’s readers’ interpretations and response – so much playful language. We award a cheery paw wave in gratitude.”

      Like

      • kmsraj51 / Oct 18 2013 2:28 pm

        Always Welcome !!

        Like

      • kmsraj51 / Oct 23 2013 6:56 am

        Always Welcome Ji !!

        Like

  2. susielindau / Oct 18 2013 2:08 pm

    I love the line, “We must pick up subtle changes in tone in order to advance in the world.” Expound on that Phil!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 18 2013 2:23 pm

      RC Cat: “Ah, an astute reader. After examining current car trends, fashions, and speech, We fear subtleness has gone out of fashion. It does take a desire and effort. In the Realm We do try. A pleased paw wave is sent on the wind to you.”

      Like

  3. Sun / Oct 18 2013 3:03 pm

    your sure have a nice fur coat, RC – so glossy and soft looking. okay, okay…back to the subject on hand. i say, it is better to have large plastic spiders than realistic dummies placed around the yard that look like a vampire rampage happened or drug war shoot-out took place. of course, cops must be informed because who would think it is a Halloween display?!? the Pottery Barn themes are looking good from here…

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 18 2013 10:12 pm

      RC Cat:”We wandered into Staff’s recreation room and thought they were studying a horror movie for decorating idea – only to be told it was only the nightly news! Yes, Yes. We definitely prefer the natural floral and veggie yard decor. Then the local deer could share in the bounty…if they hadn’t left the island. Well, the raccoons, squirrels, and armadillos will welcome such.
      Another item of confusion. Why would anyone make a barn out of pottery. Cows are so clumsy and careless. Sigh. Humans are slow to learn.
      A soft check pat for the lovely compliment!”

      Like

      • Sun / Oct 20 2013 2:34 am

        ☼hugs to the staff!!

        Like

  4. jmlindy422 / Oct 18 2013 3:10 pm

    “we must humor them; they have thumbs.” Classic cat!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 18 2013 10:14 pm

      RC Cat: “The truth must be told. We dislike the taste of metal in Our teeth. Baffles Us that humans wrap their young’s teeth in metal. Perhaps it is a training tool?
      AH, a classic paw wave to cheer your weekend!”

      Like

  5. jmmcdowell / Oct 18 2013 6:51 pm

    Such helpful suggestions for Staff and their kind! Many thanks to RC Cat for taking such valuable time from her schedule to help those of us of a less creative nature!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 18 2013 10:26 pm

      RC Cat:”Oh, you make Our Whiskers wiggle with delight. Parties are such fun. Much nicer than the holler-ring at the door. Being startled raises the blood pressure. Enjoy the festivities. We offer a soft purr as reward for your appreciation.We do hope the holler-ring doesn’t prevent you from hearing.”

      Like

  6. The Hook / Oct 18 2013 6:59 pm

    It truly is a wonderful time to be alive, RC.
    The veil between worlds has weakened and now the dark things can come out to play.
    Have fun!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 18 2013 10:57 pm

      RC Cat: “We have already requested a lofty perch be constructed in order for Us to observe the frivolity. We have heard there may be a pumpkin coach…those usually come with mousies attached. Oh the joy! Cheery paw waves!”

      Like

  7. PiedType / Oct 18 2013 7:31 pm

    I, too, don’t care for the giant inflatable decorations (be they for Halloween or Christmas). Too many of them lie deflated during the day, looking like piles of trash. Very unattractive.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 18 2013 11:09 pm

      RC Cat: “Yes, yes – the unsightly fabric lumps. We asked Staff to prod the neighbors into picking up their laundry off their lawn the other day – but Staff said it was a surprise for nighttime. Oddly at night bright ghosts blew around. The neighbors are lucky their laundry didn’t scare them off. We wish to send a warm nuzzle as We have heard there is snow and cold weather there. We suggest a warm beverage and looking out a sunny window. Cheero!”

      Like

  8. LifeOfBun / Oct 18 2013 9:30 pm

    Your garden is just so green 😀 also I can’t express my love enough for that inflatable tree. One day, one day I will have a massive tree. And it will be decorated with ALL the halloween lights I can find in this little country.

    Like

  9. jannatwrites / Oct 19 2013 3:04 am

    Love that last photo of RC cat. So pretty 🙂

    That inflatable spider is big and creepy. I bet it looks even worse when it’s not inflated (like the spider I smashed on the wall today.)

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 20 2013 5:06 pm

      RC Cat: “We have been wondering if the laundry all over the lawns each day are tributes to keep the giant night spiders happy. Perhaps those realms will have to contract with Big Foot in order to eliminate the spiders once they get tiring – or the realm runs out of laundry. We send encouraging purrs to keep such difficulties far from your realm.”

      Like

  10. Snoring Dog Studio / Oct 19 2013 2:15 pm

    Every year, I have to face the Department Halloween Decorating Contest. And every year, I dread it. I desperately hate decorating for Halloween. I don’t like wearing a costume. I can’t stand having to brainstorm ideas for a theme. Why can’t I just go to work and do my job? Why do I have to join in these mindless, team-building exercises? And then I spend the day at work on Halloween eating a bunch of candy and goodies. ARRRGGGH.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 19 2013 3:27 pm

      RC Cat: “We are appawed. A few window clings, pictures perhaps, but costumes? At work??? House and home is one thing, but workplace – Here that would be rather inappropriate considering diversity and consideration of others’ faith/beliefs. (If it’s not appropriate for public schools….OK perhaps you have to dress like favorite book character like children do here during “Fall festivals”?)
      Not to mention slow in productivity.One must show focused effort and produce in order to be paid, yes? What an odd realm.
      Team building? Hasn’t that ancient concept degenerated into just bullying, providing a stage for one ego to direct others’ dancing and gloat at their discomfort, or simply a captured audience? Such a potentially hostile environment. Not at all considerate/accepting of different of working styles.
      Considering the current push for proactive efforts to improve health, good eating habits to prevent diseases, howl odd this empty bad food event is allowed to occur.
      We are rushing several soft check pat to you as an attempt to help you through this difficult time. And are requesting Staff bring us fresh mousies as We retreat to Our loft from you disturbing situation. Hang on! Soft pats coming!”
      (Staff is sends sympathy. Forced participation for holiday on steroids at the office is not fun. Really surprised)

      Like

  11. EllaDee / Oct 19 2013 10:39 pm

    RC, I’m afraid your entreaties are in vain. I visited the shops yesterday and the hoards of Halloween hoaxery is humungous, just waiting to unleash upon the world. I feel sad for all the little plastics that have given their lives to bring temporary amusements of artificial pumpkins, spiders, witches and goblins… where did all the real ones go, I wonder.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 20 2013 5:11 pm

      RC Cat: “Yes, often stand-ins are so plastic. Perhaps the real ones fled to the National Parks for solitude – and were taken into custody by the National Park Service? Someone must have tattled – the bears would never tell. We wish to send a silent still paw wave in consideration – waving wildly might fan wild fire flames. We do so wish all find safe havens.”

      Like

      • EllaDee / Oct 20 2013 6:49 pm

        Thank you RC, it’s smoky here but otherwise ok. I think it will be a tough week though for some.

        Like

        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 20 2013 7:12 pm

          RC Cat: “Flames on TV always look bad – and so many of us have memories of other fire seasons. We purr all to safety.”

          Like

  12. Jagoda Perich-Anderson, M.A. / Oct 22 2013 3:23 am

    I want to go play “music to shiver by and let the imagination dance.” My own mistresses are swishing their tails with delight at the very thought of it.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Oct 22 2013 1:11 pm

      RC Cat: “No one enjoys a bit of mystery and shadows more than that those enlightened creatures, cats. We purr Our encouragement and delight. Regal paw waves to your realm.”

      Like

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