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June 19, 2013 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Arthurs. Authors. HRH accepts applications

Princess Rosette fiary tale (1920 Old French Fairy Tales.Virginia Frances Sterret: US public domain.expired copyright:author's life+70:Commons.wikimedia.org)

Chairs?

NO! I may choose to sit there – in a bit. Or there. Or there, Dunderheads.

There is standing room along the walls.

This is a screening not a press conference.

As RC Cat of the Realm, We shall determine the ordering of things.

We have decided to peruse these questionnaires Ourselves.

Staff doesn’t know has been notified.

(1916 Europa's Fairy Book.Putnam/J Jacobs/ Batten/US public domain: expired copyright/publication date/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

Hear Ye. Hear Ye. Mind your manners or face the Paws of Fury
(1916.Europa’s Fairy Book.Jacobs/Batten/US public domain: expired copyright/publication date/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

Now We begin. Ah, this is a courtly one. Perfect.

Kourtney Heintz, Author. Attend Us.

Here. Right in front.

Let Us have a look at you.

Such a lady of mystery (1923. Rippi-Ronal, 1861-1927. (US public domain. Artist's life+80 yrs/ reprod./ Commons.wikimedia.org)

A lady of mystery and suspense
(1923. Rippi-Ronal,1861-1927/US public domain:Artist’s life+80/reprod/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

We see you are living up to the middle name given by your parents: Author.

Wise parents.

Names do shape destiny.

No speculating there. Fiction becomes life.

We read here you write “emotionally evocative speculative fiction that captures the deepest truths of being human.”

Well, We applaud your insight that your species must explore itself in order to evolve.

How lovely: “For her characters, love is a journey never a destination.”

Humans are such characters.

We love the species for that.

poor child. (1913 Andersen's fairy tale/London-Constable/William Heath ill.1872-1944:US public domain/expired copyright/publication date:commons.wikimedia.org)

Tears welling up. This poor child on Wall Street.
(1913 Andersen’s fairy tale/W.Heath.1872-1944/US public domain/expired copyright/publication date/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

Now here it says you resided on Wall Street for a while.

My Dear, do not worry.

Notice we are wiping a tear – living on streets such as that is a brutal life style.

No wonder your “imagination ran amuck at night, and you imagined a world where out-of-control telepathy and buried secrets collide.”

It was wise to escape to Connecticut to be guarded by warrior dog, Emerson, and golden friends.

Don't leave home without a bark of defense.

Don’t leave home without a bark of defense.

Yes. Yes. Better to seek nurturing realms – even if you must take trains.

Six of them? Oh, my.

Such lovely house.

Oh? Not your actual house?

Well, Wall Street.

Witless protection perhaps required.

And a fictional life, of course (Wink. Wink.)

SixTraintoWisconsin1600

Child, do not be so nervous. You are sputtering.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

Being in Our presence does affect one.

You do seem to have created a fanciful world according to your questionnaire:

“When Kai’s telepathy spirals out of control, her husband Oliver brings her to the quiet Wisconsin hometown he abandoned a decade ago, where he must confront the secrets of his past to save their future.”

Well, we understand your need to create a spaced out world universe for your escape from walled streets.

Here it says you would like to live near the ocean. 

“The sound of the waves soothes me. The salty-tinged air refreshes me. And I love swimming by moonlight.”

The Realm’s location is perfect for you.

On your rare break times, you could rush to the beach.

Perhaps the jelly fish are ones that glow so you can avoid them that late at night.

We would insist you check your feet for tar upon return to your duties.

Water is something we ponder, but rarely touch.

Andersen's fairy tale 1913 London-Constable.William Heath Robinson 1872-1944 ill/ US public domain: expired copyright/ publication date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Location. Key to health and happiness?
(1913 Andersen.W.H.Robinson,1872-1944/US public domain:expired copyright/publication date/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Your comment about venturing into the Lake of Deep Thoughts and Themes is intriguing: 

“Become a mermaid. I love to swim through the depths and explore every layer of my characters and themes. Since I would take my time to see everything, I’d prefer to explore the themes and characters without running out of air.”

Ah, some wisdom here. Air is quite important. You are a caring person.

It appears even in your dreams, you are interested in serving Realms?

Mermaids are Staff for catfish, No?

Continue. We are all ears

Continue. We are all ears

You prefer not to wear shoes.

 “…most comfortable balancing on my own two feet. I sense things better and I feel more connected to my story world if I walk through it, letting the ground rub against my feet. And I’ll know when the story terrain changes in a painful way and make sure not to let the reader tread there.”

A like soul to Us.

Enlightened.

Life is more pleasant if one is in touch with the world.

Keeping feet on the ground and being quick on them is vital for this Realm.

Kourtney Heintz hot footin' it.

Kourtney Heintz hot footin’ it.

A bit concerned over this “desire to be draggin”.

Oh,  it’s drool  there’s a smudge?

It says “dragon”?

You would choose to be a “dragon–who wouldn’t want to breathe fire and fly?”

Well, We always wish Our staff feel free to dream and have lofty goals.

Two Brothers. Brothers Grimm before 1892. (Johann 1841-1892.US public domain: expired copyright/artist life+70/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Arthur? Need a new author.
(Grimm.before1892.Johann 1841-1892.US public domain: expired copyright/artist life+70/Commons.wikimedia.org)

Now, think quickly! Tails or tailless?

We see by your silent open mouth – and your uncontrollable shaking – that you have no preferences.

Excellent.

We are comfortable with one who is accepting of all mousies but has no inclination to adopt any.

Yes. Just right.

We are pleased.

An author would be quite useful. The Realm has much correspondence.

You have published and been recognized:

“Debut novel, The Six Train to Wisconsin: 2012 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Semifinalist.”

And new works in progress:

Possibly a “time-travel murder mystery or YA contemporary fantasy?”

Ambitious and a self-starter.

Yes, most suitable.

It is so difficult to find the person with the right stuff for Our Realm.

Has the right stuff. The Realm is also a vanguard of technology. (JSC NASA.S84-27017:GPN-20000-001156:US public domain:by NASA/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

The right stuff: The Realm,.
(JSC NASA.S84-27017:GPN-20000-001156:US public domain: NASA/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

Now don’t babble. We know the opportunity is overwhelming.

Deep breathing. Deep breathing.

We have not been called a “benevolent dictator” for nothing.

We are quite understanding.

Always speaking distinctly and slowly so taking Our dictation is not too difficult.

Yes, We are please and feel you are well suited for the position.

CInderella. Old Old Fairy Tales. Anne Andersen 1874-1930/ US public domain/expired copyright:artist life+70/ commons.wikimdeia.org)

A few more steps – only a few more steps. Where’s that cab?
(Old Old Fairy Tales.A.Andersen,1874-1930/US public domain/expired copyright/artist life+70/ Commons.wikimdeia.org)

Oh! The courtly creature is so grateful she is rushing to tell all of her great fortune!

Her joy warms Our heart.

We do hope the six trains homeward are not over-tiring.

How far is this Connecticut – oh, pardon, Wisconsin (Wink. Wink.) place?

Staff, please make arrangements.

We do so try to please everyone. (1913 Hans Andersen Fairy Tales..W.H. Robinson,ill.1872-1944/US public domain:expired copyright/date of publication/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

We do so try to please everyone.
(1913 Andersen Fairy Tales.W.H.Robinson,1872-1944/US public domain:expired copyright/publication date/ Commons.wikimedia.org)

Sadly the rest of you must leave. We are tiring. 

We shall toss out a hairball memo as other opportunities arise.

Your distress and disappointment saddens Us.

Yet insights gained from observing are always beneficial.

In recognition of your interest, We shall wave as you depart.

One wave for the group. No, not individual waves.

You ask too much.

It is a regal wave.

Quite sufficient.

So eager to be a part of the Realm. (1899 Andersen/Stratton/US public domain: expired copyright/publication date/ Commons.wikimedai.org)

Those not the right write.
(1899 Andersen/Stratton/US public domain: expired copyright/publication date/ Commons.wikimedai.org)

Staff: We call again! See that each receives a copy of Koutney’s contact information.

Some may wish to seek her writing secrets or view her official portrait.

Koutney Heintz, Author 

Website: http://kourtneyheintz.com

Blog: http://kourtneyheintz.wordpress.com

Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/kourtneyheintzwriter

Exhausting. Can hardly hold up Our head.

Exhausting. Can hardly hold up Our head.

The paw is waving!

Audience at a close.

Permission to leave granted.

Fini.

Finally. It is so exhausting being RC Cat of the Realm.

And don’t forget to leave an open can of food in the doorway as tribute.

I am RC Cat and I approve this message.

Click sidebar tag ”RC Cat” to visit with RC and her Realm.

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26 Comments

  1. Ally Bean / Jun 19 2013 1:45 pm

    Once again HRH RC Cat of the Realm has showed me the way. Mucho gracias.

    And, if I might be so bold to say, I believe that RC Cat has also given me a new motto: “Keeping feet on the ground and being quick on them is vital for this Realm.” Vital for my life, too. Double mucho gracias.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 19 2013 2:02 pm

      RC Cat:”Footwork is a great skill frequently overlooked by humans. We are please with your intelligence to recognize the importance. We award a small smile with Our wave.”

      Like

      • Ally Bean / Jun 19 2013 2:26 pm

        As a mere human, I could never have imagined that I would be smiled upon by a lofty and proper being such as yourself. Thank you, RC Cat. I am honored.

        Like

        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 19 2013 3:10 pm

          RC Cat: “As you should be. We shall nod in your direction, but do not mention it to anyone.”

          Like

        • Ally Bean / Jun 19 2013 3:25 pm

          Got it. I know nothing. [a phrase that I find myself saying often the older I get]

          Like

        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 19 2013 4:00 pm

          RC Cat:”Don’t fret, child. Many are speechless in Our presence.”

          Like

  2. Nora Blithe / Jun 19 2013 2:17 pm

    Ha! Mermaids are staff for catfish! Good one!

    Like

  3. The Hook / Jun 19 2013 5:00 pm

    HRH RC Cat of the Realm shall lead them to greatness….

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 19 2013 6:47 pm

      RC Cat: “We do Our best to serve the Realm. Oh, you come highly recommended by Susie and such – have you considered putting in an application? Oh? You are happy there? Well, best not to dislodge the family. A cheery wave!”

      Like

  4. Cat Forsley / Jun 19 2013 5:28 pm

    amazing 🙂

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 19 2013 6:45 pm

      RC Cat: “Oh, you make us blush. A soft cheek pat. Now off with you.”

      Like

      • Cat Forsley / Jun 19 2013 8:14 pm

        lololololol !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “off with you ” 🙂 lol

        Like

  5. jmmcdowell / Jun 19 2013 7:24 pm

    What an honor it must have been for Author Heintz to be awarded an audience with RC Cat! We followers of the Author’s blog are most appreciative that RC Cat allowed us to attend. Please accept this humble gift of an open can of food by the door.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 19 2013 8:25 pm

      RC Cat: “We are pleased Author Heintz attended, but are puzzled as to why she left so quickly. Staff says it is summer and humans tend to act differently in the heat. So it appears. Luckily We have lovely friends such as you who provide entertainment. And canned food! Such lovely manners. We award a soft cheek pat in recognition.”

      Like

      • Kourtney Heintz / Jun 20 2013 12:40 am

        It was quite a unique experience. One I will treasure, JM. 🙂 Been popping in today, but didn’t want to step in on questions unless they were directed at me. 🙂

        Like

        • jmmcdowell / Jun 20 2013 1:11 am

          A wise course. You wouldn’t want to accidentally commit a faux pas in front of RC Cat. 😉

          Like

        • Kourtney Heintz / Jun 20 2013 1:40 am

          Precisely. 🙂 A wise child only speaks when spoken to. 🙂

          Like

  6. EllaDee / Jun 20 2013 1:42 am

    Ah, YRH RC Cat clever you charmed Author Heintz in to divulging her secret thoughts, and plans for future writing… I can envisage you as a star character in her time-travel murder mystery. Such an indept interview, I hope staff brought you suitable refreshments, and you have now rested 🙂

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 20 2013 12:45 pm

      RC Cat:”We are quite impressed with that little charmer. Our head so hurts from reading her book – Wait! You must understand, it’s not the book is bad! Her character suffers attacks like migraines in the first chapter..she has described it so well, We began to ache in sympathy…We would chat more, but are concerned about that small child – and her husband who is so kind – in the book! The book – not Author Heintz’s. Ah, you are understandably confused. Yes, yes. We are quite intrigued by her story…the novel…well, this Kourtney is also intriguing. We would continue this visit, but work to do – work to do – and mousies to bat. Farewell. The paw is waving. Cheerfully!”

      Like

      • Kourtney Heintz / Jun 22 2013 8:46 pm

        My humblest thanks RC Cat. Aw, I am glad it is sympathy pains for my main character. I would not want to cause you actual brain pain. Delighted to hear you are connecting with the characters so much. *deepest bow* and *gracefully exits*

        Like

  7. jannatwrites / Jun 23 2013 4:31 pm

    Mermaids staff for catfish – love that! Anything ‘cat’ must be waited upon, whether in land or water, I suppose 🙂

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 23 2013 5:23 pm

      RC Cat: “‘On land or sea, servants needed by We.’ An olde cat tale purred to kittens.We encourage you to spread the word. A gracious paw wave for your insight!”

      Like

  8. angelswhisper2011 / Jun 24 2013 9:50 pm

    OMC I’ve just eaten the staff… I’ll leave some Pawkisses for you. Thanks for the good read. We loved it 🙂

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jun 24 2013 10:31 pm

      RC Cat: “Oh, dear. The trouble with gobbling or injuring staff is that a whole new batch must be interviewed, and trained. We do hope you had additional on reserve. We are so thrilled with your pawkisses. They tickle so! A soft cheek pat sent for your kindness.”

      Like

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