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January 16, 2013 / philosophermouseofthehedge

She’s a killer. Be happy.

Calm must prevail. Rumors must be addressed.

Yes, Our little Molly has finally shown her fangs.

It was to be expected eventually.

RC Cat addresses the Realm.

RC Cat addresses the Realm.

But as the RC of the Realm, We allowed the creature plenty of leash to hang herself graciously allowed the benefit of the doubt.

First there were missing mousies.

Long tails were suspiciously seen hanging out of the Molly’s guilty mirthful lips as she skulked like a criminal scampered down the hall.

Staff behaved oddly and gave vague answers to inquiries.

Why the Molly was out after dark yesterday is beyond Us.

From reliable reports, the Molly leaped into the flower bed with grace and determination to snatch a large long-tailed rat.

The mauled rodent was proudly tossed and a game of keep away began with staff as the Molly pranced and danced around the yard in celebration presented to staff as required.

Staff observed the battle (for once they were actually where they should be) and  jerked and pried the disgusting carcass out of her mouth  commended the Molly for her bravery and skill.

Site of the great rat execution

Site of the great rat execution.

Observing the flailing about by staff grand event, We requested the nice long tail be presented to Us.

Such a trophy should be proudly hung on the wall in honor of the Molly’s triumph.

Sadly, We were informed by staff that the tail was too gross was far too damaged by the Molly’s fierceness.

It would have been too disturbing to those of Our gentle Realm.

The Realm was already on edge with the recent mousie maulings.

It was revealed that covert forays by the Molly to snag our mousies did have a purpose as staff had previously tried to conceal suggested when prompted.

Training exercises.

We see now.

Still, We must be informed of even covert operations.

Such intel would have been useful during recent meetings with the bird representatives.

They have chirped complaints of food shortages.

We were appalled! Hunger in Our realm!

Remedies were sought.

The Molly was instructed by Us to stay away from the bird feeder (She has peculiar taste in foods.)

Now it appears an invader without visa or permission was stealing food out of our flocks’ beaks!

The idea! This is a bird sanctuary.

Our birds are Our birds.

We shall not allow them to be trifled with!

Their welfare is of great concerned to Us.

They look so tasty They amuse us greatly.

Heavy are the duties of the Realm

Heavy are the duties of the Realm

We commend the Molly on her service to the Realm.

This shall be noted in her next Performance Review

Now all in the Realm may take comfort that intruders shall be dealt with in harsh fashion.

Birds may chirp with full tummies.

Oh, yes! Chubby birds!

No, simpletons! We are not drooling!

Fools! Surrounded by fools!

All in the Realm now knows that the Molly is not a dreaded, incorrigible mousie-napper.

Although We shall mention that slobbery doggie kisses might not be encouraged at this time…

There’s a whiff of dead rat…

We have encouraged staff to briskly brush the Molly’s teeth.

Perhaps a minty mouth cleaning treat?

Staff has murmured something about lack of thyme.

We are baffled what this has to do with anything.

If staff needs seasonings or herbs, requisition them.

We are not amused by unrelated delaying tactics.

Resting up for the next party, uh, adventure.

Resting up for the next party, uh, adventure.

Meanwhile a word to the wise.

That grinning Molly may take your breath away.

Once again, Our subjects may be assured the Realm is safe.

All now have permission to withdraw.


We have Realm business to attend.

Now, Staff. We wish to discuss the misuse of Our mousies for training techniques.

Damp is unacceptable.

Are We clear on this?

We approve the request for Sir Pippa of Gib to tutor the Molly in intruder interception techniques.


We shall expect to be showered with attention and food in order to regain Our favor.

Dismissed to your duties.

You have Our permission to withdraw.

Our paw has waved.


And don’t forget to leave the tribute of an open can of food in the doorway.


I am RC Cat and I approve this message.

Confused? Catch up with this post:

Realms’ Unfortunate Incident: the cover-up” (Staff is concerned. Does Molly have a secret addiction?)

“Unfortunate incident in the Realm?” (like anything RC says or does explains anything)


  1. shoreacres / Jan 16 2013 1:48 am

    Oh, my gosh. I don’t know whether to laugh or shudder – or both – at the vision of all those tails nailed up to the wall like so many trophies. It just occurred to me why the long-tailed one was around – it probably is a natural result of keeping those birdies fed, yes?

    And while we’re imagining things – am I imagining Molly is getting bigger? Or is it just the camera angle? 😉


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 16 2013 1:57 am

      A really creepy cold afternoon. It’s a bit funny except it was a long tail! We’ve been monitoring the feeder carefully all winter – enough to feed the birds but just enough so they eat it all promptly.
      I think Molly has almost doubled in size. They must have bound her feet like a Chinese princess at the shelter to keep them small until after she was adopted. Hope you are staying warm and dry. Thanks for running over


  2. Unconfirmed Bachelorette / Jan 16 2013 1:59 am

    Molly is doing her best to win the much-coveted approval of the Great and Beautiful RC Cat.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 16 2013 2:21 pm

      RC Cat: “We are pleased with the Molly’s socially responsible actions. It appears the Realm may actually benefit from her presence. A regal paw wave to you for your encouragement.”


  3. rumpydog / Jan 16 2013 2:00 am

    We have a problem with DeDe eating my mousies. We are not amused. -June Buggie


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 16 2013 2:23 pm

      RC Cat: ” My dear June Buggie, you do understand. The things We suffer to insure peace in the Realms! An encouraging paw wave is awarded in commiseration.”


  4. Carrie Rubin / Jan 16 2013 2:01 am

    I’m confused–is the cat Molly or RC? I guess I’m late to the party so you’ll have to enlighten me. Regardless, that’s a beautiful cat, but I suppose I shouldn’t say that. It will only go to her head.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 16 2013 2:29 pm

      RC Cat: “Oh, You are so kind. Being of the human species, it is understandable that things can be confusing. The Molly is a rescue dog We have taken under Our paw to raise in awareness and enlightenment. It seems to be working. The Molly is learning one of the great skills of cats: hunting. We shall award a soft cheek pat for your willingness to clarify what is not understood. Ah, yes. On the path to enlightenment. Bravo!”


      • Carrie Rubin / Jan 16 2013 2:37 pm

        Well, RC Cat is very generous indeed to allow Molly into the family lair!


  5. jmmcdowell / Jan 16 2013 2:08 am

    I would have been a useless staff member with the rat attack. I don’t believe RC would have approved of my hyperventilating or running away while others were left to deal with the aftermath. I’ll be happy if I never see one outside of a movie or television. *shudders*


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 16 2013 2:44 pm

      RC Cat:”Ah, Meghan’s friend. We can see that Meghan is made of sterner stuff – but do not fear. All need a sidekick.We are glad you were as amused as We were watching through the window. Happy paw wave awarded!”


      • jmmcdowell / Jan 17 2013 12:08 am

        *Happy human wave in return*

        Meghan is so much stronger, although she may not always realize that fact. These adventures of hers, though, will help her understand this is true. 😉


  6. belocchio / Jan 16 2013 2:40 am

    Molly is a very beautiful cat!! V.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 16 2013 2:56 pm

      RC Cat: “Oh, chere – We believe a secret has been discovered about humans: thyme must be like catnip to them!(this would explain why staff would be requesting more thyme). Under a catnip-like haze it would be easy to see the Molly and call her a cat rather than a dog. Few would expect Us to allow a dog creature to live among the elite species in Our realm – but We wish to be kind to all….well, perhaps not the rodents who are sneaky food thieves. We award a gentle cheek pat so as not to topple you over.”


  7. Littlesundog / Jan 16 2013 3:00 am

    Ha ha!! Reading the comments is almost as delightful as reading the adventurous post! I understand Molly was a shelter cat? Well, then no doubt she’ll be needing a bit of instruction on “intruder interception”!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 16 2013 3:02 pm

      RC Cat: “Oh, my yet another snuggling with the thyme (We have recently discovered thyme is to humans as catnip is to cats. If this is true, restrictions to thyme may be necessary in order to make sure staff gets their duties completed before any entertainment?) Yes, the Molly was a shelter dog – We are aware allowing this creature is unusual for a cat realm, but We feel it is important to raise enlightenment in lesser species. We are please the Molly seems to be acquiring some feline skills like hunting. We award a gentle cheek pat and allow you to withdraw to take a nap.”


  8. PiedType / Jan 16 2013 3:23 am

    Bravo, Molly! Well done!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 16 2013 3:03 pm

      RC Cat: Yes, the Molly might actually earn her keep. We are pleased you came by to encourage her efforts. A gracious paw wave awarded.”


  9. JackieP / Jan 16 2013 5:27 am

    I can just picture it. haha!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 16 2013 3:04 pm

      RC Cat: “Yes, yes. It was quite amusing through the window from inside. Staff, though seems to have little sense of humor about it….they are an odd lot. A sunny paw wave to you!”


  10. Long Life Cats and Dogs / Jan 16 2013 8:53 am

    Poor rat, savaged by Molly. Thyme? – I’ll never quite understand staff 😀


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 16 2013 3:07 pm

      RC Cat: “Ah, yes. Staff must be watched closely. We thank you for the reminder – must go check on them now. An unhurried paw wave in recognition of your visit.”


  11. Beth / Jan 16 2013 2:32 pm

    Sam: High paw and Jolly good show, Molly! As the resident beagle, I do love “tails” of a good hunt. Sounds like you perfected your hunting form through careful training. BRAVO! Give us a ring should you ever require tips on how to prevent Staff from stealing your trophy. I hate to brag, but I must say I’ve perfected the art of devouring baby bunnies in three full bites. Delicious! And I’d be honored to pass along any tips.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 16 2013 3:12 pm

      RC Cat: “Welcome, Sam. We shall gladly pass on you kind offer of assistance to the Molly. Three bites? Impresssive. With such a big mouth, the Molly might learn to be more efficient. And We, too share your amusement with trophy tails! (Staff always insists on cleaning up at the oddest times) We shall award a grateful paw wave – you would not welcome a soft cheek pat, I imagine….you do have a reputation to uphold. Cheers!”


  12. robpixaday / Jan 16 2013 6:16 pm

    Please forgive this indelicate response but it overwhelms your loyal fief:

    Your Royal Wonderfuness, I am deeply sorry for that outburst. It could not be contained. Your powers of communication are magnificent; your message is, as always, splendidly crafted. But this… this …gem is especially dazzling.

    I retreat, profoundly abashed.
    :: \tiptoes backwards out of the room::


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 16 2013 11:42 pm

      RC Cat. “Ah, the visiting pixie. We are always gladdened by your travels to the realm. Similar things amuse Us! We shall relay to the Molly how much you enjoyed her recent triumph. We wish…oh, good, we shall address Sir Sweetie directly. Paw is waving. Paw is impatiently waving….oh, OK a soft cheek pat, also…now move aside, please. We are always gracious…..”


  13. robpixaday / Jan 16 2013 6:48 pm

    Gah. Inaccurate word choice.

    [Staff have been reprimanded as purrrr Sir Sweetie’s command.]


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 16 2013 11:45 pm

      RC Cat: “Sir Sweetie. We were just thinking of you – how nice you allowed your pixie to visit Our realm. We do approve of your subtle corrective training of your staff. One shall catch more mousies with purrs than growls. We consider you a glowing example of leadership. A fond paw wave salute!”


  14. Ally Bean / Jan 16 2013 7:17 pm

    Training exercises, you say. Now it all makes sense. There’s more to Molly than meets eye. Dare I say, good doggy?


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 16 2013 11:51 pm

      RC Cat: “The past week was a bit worrisome until staff bothered to inform us of their plans for the Molly. Perhaps staff knows the heavy duties We attend to with the Realm and wished to lighten Our burdens. In any case, the Molly does seem determined to insure herself a place in the realm. Yes, good work, Molly! A quick walk-past brush on the leg for your kindness…it is soft, no?”


  15. The Hook / Jan 16 2013 7:23 pm

    Don’t mess with Molly!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 16 2013 11:32 pm

      Sounds like a country western song? Thanks for running over…hope everyone’s feeling better there.


  16. aFrankAngle / Jan 16 2013 7:48 pm

    At least RC is giving Molly a chance …. is it possible RC will train Molly for occupying the throne in the future?


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 16 2013 11:37 pm

      RC Cat: “We approve of giving lesser species a chance to learn and improve themselves, but sadly We realize some are not born with innate ability to manage a realm. But We are determined to encourage the Molly to attain the most of her natural abilities…especially if she learns to sneak the trophy tails in to Us without staff knowing! A soft cheek pat is awarded for your kind heart.”


      • aFrankAngle / Jan 17 2013 12:46 am

        RC – At least she still has a chance …. and yet, I’m sure you will provide your wisdom to Molly is small nuggets.


  17. Kourtney Heintz / Jan 18 2013 2:07 am

    I ❤ Molly. 🙂


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 18 2013 4:05 pm

      RC Cat: “Watch out! The Molly’s sending a big slobbery dog kiss. Dog breath! Duck, we advise out of kindness!”


  18. jannatwrites / Jan 18 2013 5:15 am

    Oh my goodness…a rat prize – ick! RC Cat is right to show concern for the mousies before another tragedy occurs 🙂

    P.S. Love the photos – RC Cat and Molly are both beautiful animals!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 18 2013 3:33 pm

      RC Cat: “We are sadden to report another of our mousies is having to undergo a spa treatment after being snatched by the Molly. While we appreciate her eagerness to hone her skills, We are urging staff inform the Molly that the hunting grounds are restricted to the outdoor frontier. We are considering moving all Our mousies to the top of Mount Towel Shelf and sitting on them Ourselves until the situation is corrected. Now We are weary – from worry – and must rest…and count Our mousies. A gracious paw wave for your kind words.”


  19. Sunshine / Jan 19 2013 4:03 am

    oh, dear…a bit of rumblings going on in the kingdom…poor mousies but then, Molly is so cute…poor Molly, hunting only in restricted areas. 🙂


  20. EllaDee / Jan 22 2013 4:52 am

    Eeww, dead rat or live rat… I’m not sure I could cope with either – Molly is my heroine 🙂
    RC… tail trophies? Really? Maybe a Polaroid will suffice?


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 22 2013 2:44 pm

      Molly was so fond of her trophy – had to get her to drop it as she wanted in the house. UGH. Yesterday she asked if a small lizard was OK to bring in…tail hanging out of mouth. Today playing with dog friends to burn off some energy – finally sunny and warm. Will inquire if a photo will please RC. Great idea! Thanks


  21. roughseasinthemed / Jan 22 2013 10:41 am

    Pippa barks that everycat and everyone knows dogs hunt rats. Almost as fun as hunting cats. Go Molly 🙂 Pippapaw of approval winging its way to you. Toptip, hit them on the back quickly and strongly, then wring their neck. Would be most interested to hear about your technique

    Pippa (well except I don’t appear to be logged in as me 😦 )


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 22 2013 3:10 pm

      I knew Pippa would be encouraging (I had meant to link to Pippa’s blog, but forgot and hit publish too fast)
      We knew Molly was intently observing this spot, then she suddenly leaped in into the brush: strike force: all teeth, nose, and paw. A flip into the air and catch….then the chase was on – head and tail high….rodent tail streaming from jaws. Those jaws do lock down. She’s really fast and think surprised the darn thing.
      Yesterday she scarfed up as 3 inch lizard and pranced around with it… we have to convince her to leave the lizards. It’s always an adventure. Molly barks thanks for the encouragement, Pippa!


      • roughseasinthemed / Jan 22 2013 6:30 pm

        Pippa is impressed. Catching one in the wild is most clever. His prey was cornered in his corral, although I suppose it could have shot up a wall or something. You will be right though, there is an element of surprise with a large dog suddenly and quickly pouncing on a rat, not normal ratters.

        Yes. The jaws are interesting. When P is bored with my kind grooming techniques he will helpfully and very gently lift up my wrist and move it away. I’m so pleased he doesn’t actually clamp on it.

        We don’t go for lizards here, luckily. Especially as chameleons are a protected species in our neck of the costa.

        Pippa barks, keep up to the rats Molly, leave those cute geckos and larger versions on their own. After all, they eat cucurachas 🙂


  22. Neon Fish / Jan 25 2013 5:47 pm

    very cute! i love the line through the phrases of what really is going on, clever and funny:)


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Jan 25 2013 6:02 pm

      All have a place under heaven….so, Molly, please leave the lizards alone! Thanks for pouncing over



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